Tuesday, December 27, 2016

2016 Reading Wrap Up

This is my fifth year participating in this endeavor. I didn't think I would make 52 this year, but I read a lot over the last two weeks! I did not link the books I mentioned within this wrap up post, but there is a list of all the books at the end of it with the links if you want to see favorite quotes or reviews.

Here are the Wrap Up questions from http://www.read52booksin52weeks.com/:

 How many books did you read and did you meet or beat your own personal goal?  Or did you get caught up in reading and forget to keep track like me?  *grin* 

 I read 52. I love to have goals. This is a manageable one for me after reading all the books on Well-Educated Mind, Invitation to the Classics, and 100 Great Books Lists (see links to those lists above - it was a Big Hairy Audacious Goal). 

What countries and time periods did you visit?

COUNTRIES:
  • England: this was the main one since we traveled there (see my Travelogue of that trip here: http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/search/label/Travelogue) to see a photograph I had on exhibition there and to enjoy some of the haunts of our favorite authors.
  • Afghanistan (In the Sea there are Crocodiles)
  • Middle East (The Rise of ISIS, The Terror Years)
  • Iran (My Name is Mahtob)
  • Multiple Nations in Poverty (Half the Sky)
  • Everywhere (Pray for the World)
  • I had some delightful journeys to Narnia also!
TIME PERIODS:
  • Post War London (The Life and Times of Call the Midwife)
  • 1930's America and Germany (The Boys in the Boat)
  • 1930-1950's England (The Fellowship and Bandersnatch)

What were your most favorite stories?   Any stories that stayed with you a long time,  left you wanting more or needed to digest for a while before starting another?  

 Ben-Hur - Absolutely beautiful
The Boys in the Boat
The Silver Chair (my favorite of all the Narnia books because of Puddleglum's speech)

 The Way of the Beloved was not a story but one of my favorites of the year.

Which books became comfort reads? - don't have one

 What is the one book or the one author you thought you'd never read and found yourself pleasantly surprised that you liked it?

 Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life - I thought it would be another "pop" Christian book and was so delightfully surprised at its depth and beauty!

Did you read any books that touched you and made you laugh, cry, sing or dance?

 Boys in the Boat - WOW!

 Any that made you want to toss it across the room in disgust?

 Half the Sky - You can read my review, but I really hated the patronizing tone of the authors. The stories about women were around the world was good though.

Please share a favorite cover or quote.

















Here is my list:


43. SPEG Manual

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2016 Reading

43. SPEG Manual


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52. Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life




I would not have picked this book up if it had not been the third book of the Renovare Book Club, but this is where "required reading" can help us to discover delightful things. I can honestly say that I loved this book. I was a little leery of it because I read a book a few years ago that seemed similar.  I felt like everyone loved this book but me. That author's reflections seemed  immature and lukewarm. It was obvious that she was commissioned by a publisher to write a book because she is a good writer, but I didn't sense she had a real hunger and thirst for God. She is popular now, but I was not impressed. I cannot even remember the name of the book, and I won't look it up to remind myself of the title.



Since this is a book looked similar from the outside, I was a bit leery, but I know now I just cannot judge a book by its cover! This author does have a heart for God and a wisdom far beyond her years. Her writing style is beautiful. I was pleasantly surprised and delighted by everything about this book. She quotes some of my favorite classical authors showing she is well-read. She also refers to popular culture! Love that too. She quotes one author I have never read, Annie Dillard, and makes me want to read her. She quotes Scripture too. Everything is so perfectly balanced. Oh, this is a lovely book in every way.

She goes through a day of moments and routines where we can become aware of God presence:

 1. Waking: Baptism and Learning to Be Beloved
2. Making the Bed: Liturgy, Ritual, and What Forms a Life
3. Brushing Teeth: Standing, Kneeling, Blowing and Living in a Body
4. Losing Keys: Confession and the Truth About Ourselves
5. Eating Leftovers: Word, Sacrament, and Overlooked Nourishment
6. Fighting with My Husband: Passing the Peace and the Everyday Work of Shalom
7. Checking Email: Blessing and Sending
8. Sitting in Traffic: Liturgical Time and an Unhurried God
9. Calling a Friend: Congregating and Community
10. Drinking Tea: Sanctuary and Savoring
11. Sleeping: Sabbath, Rest, and the Work of God

 I highly recommend this book!

 “The new life into which we are baptized is lived out in days, hours, and minutes. God is forming us into a new people. And the place of that formation is in the small moments of today.”   

“...small bits of our day are profoundly meaningful
because they are the site of our worship. The crucible of our formation is in the monotony of our daily routines.”   

“Everyone wants a revolution. No one wants to do the dishes.” I”   

“Alfred Hitchcock said movies are “life with the dull bits cut out.”
― Tish Harrison Warren, Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life


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Friday, December 23, 2016

51. The Life and Times of Call the Midwife by Heidi Thomas



I devoured the Call the Midwife trilogy of Worth's books back in 2013. Worth based them on her deeply personal experience of working in the East End of London in the 1950s (see reviews HERE), and this book was just icing on the cake. It made me cry. I really thought I would just look at the pictures, but the text was so beautifully written by the writer for the series, Heidi Thomas (Cranford and Upstairs, Downstairs). It was especially moving because Worth died just months before filming began.



 The diary of Thomas' experience is my favorite part, but the background chapters are fascinating. I learned so much about life in Poplar. The cherry on top was the chapter on Christmas in the East End since I finished reading on December 23.

Wonderful read and gorgeous photographs!
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50. The Way of the Heart by Henri JM Nouwen


This book takes a look at the way of the "Desert Fathers and Mothers" and their commitment to Solitude, Silence, and Prayer. I noticed it on my shelf after reading Nouwen's The Life of the Beloved.  Since I liked that book so much, I thought I would also read this one. It is a simple and profound book.


"In Solitude we become compassionate people, deeply aware of our solidarity in brokenness with all of humanity and ready to reach out to anyone in need."

“Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self. Jesus himself entered into this furnace. There he was tempted with the three compulsions of the world: to be relevant ('turn stones into loaves'), to be spectacular ('throw yourself down'), and to be powerful ('I will give you all these kingdoms'). There he affirmed God as the only source of his identity ('You must worship the Lord your God and serve him alone'). Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter - the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers 

“Secularity is a way of being dependent on the responses of our milieu. The secular or false self is the self which is fabricated, as Thomas Merton says, by social compulsions. 'Compulsive' is indeed the best adjective for the false self. It points to the need for ongoing and increasing affirmation. Who am I? I am the one who is liked, praised, admired, disliked, hated or despised. Whether I am a pianist, a businessman or a minister, what matters is how I am perceived by my world. If being busy is a good thing, then I must be busy. If having money is a sign of real freedom, then I must claim my money. If knowing many people proves my importance, I will have to make the necessary contacts. The compulsion manifests itself in the lurking fear of failure and the steady urge to prevent this by gathering more of the same - more work, more money, more friends.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers

"Silence first makes us pilgrims. Secondly silence guards the fire within. Thirdly, silence teaches us how to speak."

"Prayer, when we are faithful to it and practice it at regular times, slowly leads us to an experience of rest and opens us to God's active presence."

“Prayer is standing in the presence of God with the mind in the heart; that is, at that point of our being where there are no divisions or distinctions and where we are totally one. There God's Spirit dwells and there the great encounter takes place. There heart speaks to heart, because there we stand before the face of the Lord, all-seeing, with us.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers   

“For many of us prayer means nothing more than speaking with God. And since it usually seems to be a quite one-sided affair, prayer simply means talking to God. This idea is enough to create great frustrations. If I present a problem, I expect a solution; if I formulate a question, I expect an answer; if I ask for guidance, I expect a response. And when it seems, increasingly, that I am talking into the dark, it is not so strange that I soon begin to suspect that my dialogue with God is in fact a monologue. Then I may begin to ask myself: To whom am I really speaking, God or myself?”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers

"By their solitude, silence and unceasing prayer the Desert Fathers show us the way. These disciplines will teach us to stand firm, to speak words of salvation, and to approach the new millennium with hope, courage, and confidence.

"When we have been remodeled into living witnesses of Christ through solitude, silence, and prayer, we will no longer have to worry about whether we are saying the right thing or making the right gestures, because then Christ will make his presence known even when we are not aware of it."



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Thursday, December 22, 2016

49. Settle for More by Megyn Kelly

I do not get Fox News, but I have seen her on clips on our ROKU. I also saw her on several interviews after the debate where she asked Donald Trump about his attitude toward women. So, I wanted to learn more about her.

I like her. It was a good read. I learned a lot about the News and what makes a good reporter. Donald Trump called her a Bimbo, and she is anything but that. I am glad to read that she is so happy in her marriage and family life, and her employers give her the opportunity to live the balance between work and family life. It sounds like she has a wonderful husband who helps a lot. This is a book about living your best life and not being afraid to make a course correction career-wise.
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48. Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief

Oh my, what a book. I checked out this book because it is written by Lawrence Wright, and I loved his book that I read earlier this year called The Terror Years. Going Clear has the same excellent writing style and does not disappoint.

I had checked out the audiobook from Library2Go (Oregon Digital Library Consortium) more than a month ago, but I did not finish it before I had to bring it back. I would have had to wait on the hold list for quite some time. So, I checked out the Kindle book. It captivated me from the get-go.

 I also checked out the HBO Documentary of the same name that came out in 2015. The book is MUCH more detailed than the documentary, but both of them are excellent! The documentary gave me the opportunity to see the faces of the ex-Scientology leaders who are quoted in the book.

This is a cult founded by the most prolific "Pulp Fiction" writer ever, L. Ron Hubbard. His religion is also fiction. So sad.

Fascinating read.
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Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Prayerful Review of Sunday - Tuesday

Prayerful Review of December 18-20:

What made me feel most alive and in tune with God's plan:

 Being in church for the morning and evening. Worship. Visiting afterward.

Family lunch at Applebee's

 Birthday Zumba for Vickie's 60th birthday and donation to the International Justice Mission fighting human trafficking and slavery.

 Getting my annual mammogram.

 Reading. Resting. Wrapping presents.

 Eating well and lower calorie.

 Teaching Pilates.

Walking in the Tuesday afternoon sunshine.

 Doing Dial a Book volunteering.

 Face to face time with my bestie, Kim and her mom. This happens so rarely because of our schedules that do not overlap, especially since we have not gone to the same church for 10 1/2 years, but thankful we are still friends.
What made me feel most dead and not in tune with God's plan:
Someone I sat next to and just met, without anything to do with what we were chatting about, going into a monologue about pre-tribulation rapture. What? That was interesting.
Ways to show my love for God and others today:

 Follow through on the remainder of our Christmas giving in lieu of presents to my side of the family. I just couldn't decide so am giving to all the things we volunteer for.

Gifts God has given not already covered in feeling alive:

 My Tempur-Pedic mattress - as I was making it this morning, I was so thankful. It was a big purchase, but I wish we had made it two mattresses ago because this thing is almost six years old and show NO SIGN of wear. Our last two mattresses were giving out by this time.

Sunshine for the day!

 Peaceful family dynamics and zero drama. I am so grateful for my kids. It is so nice to have them home.
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Monday, December 19, 2016

47. The Index Card: Why Personal Finance Doesn't Have to Be Compilcated

I wasn't as wowed by this book as many people who touted it. Most of it was pretty much a repeat of what Dave Ramsey has been saying for years. I also thought they made the "Buy Inexpensive Index Fund" really confusing, and I never really understood what the bottom line in the whole chapter was. So, it was COMPLICATED. The very thing they promised they would not do!

Then some of the captures were like "no duh"! So I wasn't too impressed with it.

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Sunday, December 18, 2016

Prayerful Review of Week

Hard to believe that I have not done one of these for a week. I can see the advantage of doing it at the end of the day, and I am going to try to do that before I go to bed in the new year. I may or may not post it here though.



Prayerful Review of December 11-18:

What made me feel most alive and in tune with God's plan:
Jumping right back into my beautiful life in Corvallis by having a cookie party less than 24 hours after my return.  Ika, Rika, Nancy, Rebekah, and Heather. I loved that we all pooled our gifts together. Nancy is so good at hospitality (I am the only person in the group who does not have that gift). Her house was so beautifully decorated. Rebekah had made cookie and frosting, and I demonstrated how to make cranberry scones (using my teaching gift). I also explained the Advent Wreath. I had put together the whole Christmas story from Prophets to Angels to Shepherds to Wise Men to Jesus. I feel most alive when I teach.

 Talk with sensible 20-somethings who are friends with my niece and her new husband. They all had their heads on straight and were not into the partying. That was refreshing to see the individuals in the group.

Reading Notes from a Small Island on the way back from Cabo - I feel so alive when I read. I don't know why, but I do.

 War and Peace mini-series with George - Tolstoy has such spirituality woven into his deep tales. Loved every minute of this thing. So good to enjoy it with George.

 Snow days and walks in it. George being home from Wednesday to Friday because of it.

 Our family all together and God opening up the skies with sunshine so we could go grab a tree.

 Watching the kids decorate the tree all on their own.

 Gathering around the Advent Wreath and Jesse Tree for stories that tell the Scarlet Thread of Redemption from Creation to Christ.

Singing "Come Thou Long, Expected Jesus" with my family is one of the best feelings EVER.

 Serving the Stewarts as a family. We helped them move.

 A nice note from both my niece's about Cabo.
What made me feel most dead and not in tune with God's plan:
Two "deadening" encounters with people come to mind, but I feel God wants me to retract what I wrote previously. If they involve other people the details will be between me and God!
Ways to show my love for God and others today:

 Fellowship and love on our pastor and his wife at their retirement celebration.

Follow up: YES! Great retirement celebration!



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Thursday, December 15, 2016

Wellness of Body and Soul Update

I am convinced that mind, body, and spirit are intertwined. So, it is two days in a row of "Wellness of Body" for me!

I said I would periodically update, and I am doing it again. The picture below is my goal.


This is January 2014 at the Benson Hotel before George's office Winter Celebration. I had lost 30 pounds by April 2013, and I had kept most of it off (with five pound fluctuation) for nine months at that point, and I did that for the better part of two years, with less than double digit fluctuations, until Spring of 2015.

I think deciding to get certified in Pilates in Summer of 2015 was the turning point. I had always been more of "Cardio Carol" exerciser with a little bit of Pilates and weight training about two times a week. I still had pain though. Now, I am super strong in my core from Pilates, much more flexible, and out of pain. YAY! But the pounds came on with the reduced cardio (also cardio tends to really curb my appetite). Once I started teaching classes, my burn exchange was 720 calories burned  versus 2400 calories burned per week.  If I kept eating the same to maintain on the old workout routine (and same number of hours truly available for working out), I was going to have a 1680 less calorie burn per week than when I was on maintenance. That was about 1/2 pound per week, and that is exactly what happened! My weight started slowly creeping up, and I DID NOT ADJUST MY EATING ACCORDINGLY!

So this is my inspiration picture, and I am 13 pounds above that today. I think the weight on Monday was a lot of water because six pounds has come off, and it is only Thursday. I have eaten a sensible diet that should only equal about 2 pounds a week weight loss so I know that I should have waited and not panicked after Cabo.



I think the water weight is off, and this is probably the weight I was before I went there. And this tends to be the weight that I continue to try to "set" at! It is not a bad weight because it is 23.8 BMI. The healthy range is 18.5 - 24.99. My personal training textbook says that 22-24.99 is where your disease risk is lowest. And I feel best at 22 too!


So this picture is my inspiration, and I am going for it! I am happy to be going for it!

December 31, 2016 Update: 23.4 BMI and 10.6 pounds to go now! "Slow and Stead Wins the Race" and "Little by Little Gets the Job Done."

February 14, 2017 Update: 22.4 BMI and only 2.4 pounds to go!

All that to say is that I love to combine my spiritual and physical life. I was grumpy when I woke up in Cabo on that first morning. I had not exercised all day the day before. Once I went and had some time on the elliptical overlooking the Sea of Cortez . . .


... and prayed and worked out. I was a new woman! :)

(I just want to say that we do not usually do this kind of "luxury." It was a forced vacation because all the wedding guests had to stay at this resort. We have access through my husband's mother to a house on a hill overlooking Cabo for FREE, but it would have required taxi rides back and forth to see my family. I loved seeing my niece get married, but I will say that highlights of our time were talking with the locals about their lives. We like to be in among the people more than at a resort that cuts you off from the culture, but it was nice.)

I better go. It is so beautiful outside right now!

I just listened to Messiah from "Behold the Lamb of God" to "All We Like Sheep" as I danced around the living room to the light of electric candles! So fun. :)


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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Freewrite on a Wednesday Morning

I have not had a "Wellness of Body" Freewrite in a very long time.

I am back on LoseIt! App. I had a 46 day reporting streak between June 1 - July 16. I even tried to record my first day in England, but it was too much work! Plus, I had met my England goal! Yay! Then I did so much walking and biking that I lost another 1 1/2 pounds on vacation. That is a FIRST for me! I gained five in two weeks when we went to Europe in 2014!

Now I sit five months later, and I gained all the pounds I had gotten rid of prior to England. At my niece's wedding in Cabo, I looked at pictures of us, and I thought, "What happened to me!" I had not been on the scale since AUGUST and had not really noticed that I had gained it all back! I keep making this commitment to weighing my self and maintaining like I did for TWO YEARS after my 30 pounds weight loss four years ago. What happened? (Note: I have kept off 15 of the 30 for all four years though. So, that is the GOOD NEWS)

Life happened! When the fall hits, and I get really busy. I am too busy to record. I am too tired to not eat. I have more anxiety (not a ton, but it is always stressful getting my Kingdom Community up and running and my classes started at OSU). Plus, I go from having more cardio time in the summer (I love to be outdoors exercising) to more strength/Pilates time in the fall, winter, and spring. I was determined to not let that happen this fall after being stuck inside and feeling miserable with my allergies last spring, but I did not follow through on my commitment. I also had something traumatic happen to me two weeks after I got back from the joyful time in England and two wonderful weddings following that. Something came out of NOWHERE, and it sent me reeling emotionally. I had not been hit like that in SO LONG. I think it affected me more than I realized so the overeating (about 300 calories a day) was also a result of that trauma that I think I am still dealing with sometimes.

I am not whining, mind you. I am still in my healthy weight range with a 24 BMI, but I really like to be 22 - 22.5. That is when I feel my best. Many people do not even notice because I am so tall, but I could feel it in my Cabo bathing suit and wedding dresses (we had two dressed up wedding events). I knew I was not at, what I like to call, my "fighting weight." So, my goal is 173-176 range. I keep on gaining back that last 15. I thought I had it licked this last summer. When I can focus, I always do really well!

Maybe I should, as a personal trainer, lead a "Ten Pounds Down" Club or something where I take people through winter cardio and Pilates classes: strength and calorie burn workouts.

I should be at my goal by February 6. We will see when things ratchet up, if I am able to do it. The year I lost the 30 pounds, I had finished homeschooling, and we were not leading a Kingdom Community group. It was also a very dry winter so I walked a LOT between December 23 and April 15 when I hit the 30 pound goal.

All that to say is that I have this love affair with ice cream. I ate a LOT of pints during that five month ascent back up the scale!

So, I can do without ice cream and probably be very comfortable.

I am also not going to meet with a conversant in the winter. I added too much to my schedule. I probably will just meet with Kelsey every once in a while too. We would walk and winter walking is not as fun around here.


I think I will also go at least thirty minutes before my Pilates class and do the elliptical. I have done elliptical four times in the last week, and it has been really fun. I forgot how much I liked it. We do not have fancy cable. So, it is a treat to watch the cable news shows! (Such a nerd.)

SO, speaking of walking. There is a snow storm headed our way. So, I think I will go for a late fall walk now that it is light outside.

I will check in periodically with my BMI checks.

Here is my inspiration from four years ago:




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46. Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson




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I read A Walk in the Woods several years ago. If you read my blog, you know that I blogged about our travels in England this last summer. If you missed it, here are all the posts: http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/search/label/Travelogue. This book was DELIGHTFUL to read because so much of it is so true!

I read the majority of this book on a plane flight to and from Mexico, and I kept laughing out loud. So I am sure that other passengers thought I was mentally ill! I would read it before I went to bed, and I had to hold my hand over my mouth so my laughing would not wake up my husband.

I love England and its people with all my heart. (In fact, we just got a Christmas card from the owners of one of the bed and breakfast places we stayed at!)  It was such a delightful experience to go there.. So, this book warmed my heart, but I don't think you have to go to England to really enjoy this. He is a masterful comedic writer!

Just a warning: there is some profanity, but it is not gratuitous. Also, his humor can be quite sarcastic and snarky at times, but I think he is just doing it tongue-in-cheek. So, if that is not your cup of tea, you might NOT like his book. Also, I am wondering if you have never been to England if you would like it as much. I definitely liked reading about the places I had already seen and experienced better than the places that I had not yet seen.  

 Here is a favorite quote:

 “Suddenly, in the space of a moment, I realized what it was that I loved about Britain - which is to say, all of it. Every last bit of it, good and bad - Marmite, village fetes, country lanes, people saying 'mustn't grumble' and 'I'm terribly sorry but', people apologizing to me when I conk them with a nameless elbow, milk in bottles, beans on toast, haymaking in June, stinging nettles, seaside piers, Ordnance Survey maps, crumpets, hot-water bottles as a necessity, drizzly Sundays - every bit of it.

What a wondrous place this was - crazy as f**k, of course, but adorable to the tiniest degree. What other country, after all, could possibly have come up with place names like Tooting Bec and Farleigh Wallop, or a game like cricket that goes on for three days and never seems to start? Who else would think it not the least odd to make their judges wear little mops on their heads, compel the Speaker of the House of Commons to sit on something called the Woolsack, or take pride in a military hero whose dying wish was to be kissed by a fellow named Hardy? ('Please Hardy, full on the lips, with just a bit of tongue.') What other nation in the world could possibly have given us William Shakespeare, pork pies, Christopher Wren, Windsor Great Park, the Open University, Gardners' Question Time and the chocolate digestive biscuit? None, of course.

How easily we lose sight of all this. What an enigma Britain will seem to historians when they look back on the second half of the twentieth century. Here is a country that fought and won a noble war, dismantled a mighty empire in a generally benign and enlightened way, created a far-seeing welfare state - in short, did nearly everything right - and then spent the rest of the century looking on itself as a chronic failure. The fact is that this is still the best place in the world for most things - to post a letter, go for a walk, watch television, buy a book, venture out for a drink, go to a museum, use the bank, get lost, seek help, or stand on a hillside and take in a view.

All of this came to me in the space of a lingering moment. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I like it here. I like it more than I can tell you.”
― Bill Bryson, Notes from a Small Island   

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Sunday, December 11, 2016

Moravian Text and Prayerful Review

I woke up very early and checked my daily verses and found such comfort in them:

Third Sunday of Advent
Watchword for the Week — Be strong, do not fear! Here is your God. Isaiah 35:4
He is my God. The last five days have been lovely but also hard as I realize how on the "outs" I am with my family of origin. I miss the people like my mom and my dad who made me feel welcome and included. 
Take away from this encouraging verse: He is my home.
Sunday, December 11 — Isaiah 35:1–10; Psalm 146:5–10
James 5:7–10; Matthew 11:2–11
I will gather the exiles (outcast in NASB). I will give them praise and honor in every land where they have suffered shame (I will turn their shame into praise and renown in all the earth). Zephaniah 3:19 (NIV)
Take away: I have always been made to feel shame for the choice I made to live where I do. The long term effect is that I have distant relationships with all of them, but God has given me praise and honor in abundance. I have YOU as my home God, a close abiding relationship with You. None of those relationships are bad, but they are not close because of time and distance. I would have been so lonely if I had stayed. I am in such a land of abundance now. I feel for my kids as they think those people are phantoms. But effort has not been made on their part to be in our lives or come to see us (only my wedding in 1990). That is not a rejection of me but a symptom of other things in their own lives. I need to feel no shame for the life I have chosen to live and where I have chosen to live it. I am free.

Zip lining and sailing were two free things we did yesterday.

Jesus saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Mark 6:34
Take away: That is what I feel. No anger or bitterness. I feel sad for the lack of earthly family but feel more compassion than anything else.
Shepherd of our souls, we all are exiles in some way; we long for home. We are connected to others through the love we have with you and we ask that  you help us to share that love in our daily interactions. Amen.
Take away: This is so the prayer of my heart. So true that we are all exiles (outcast) in some way. The response is always love.
This has been hard but good. I had hoped to connect with one family here because of things we have in common, but there was no heart connection whatsoever and the door was shut in our face. There were many lovely moments with many lovely people though. (Additional note: we were able to talk to three couples who went to college with my niece after I wrote this post. They were deeper and lovely, and it was more fulfilling for me - I think I just crave deeper conversation, and most of them were so surface that I could not handle it after so many days!)
You are my home!
Prayerful Review of Last 24 hours:
What made me feel most alive and I tune with God's plan:
Doing the thing I feared by zip lining across 8 zip lines over a Cabo Canyon!
Having all the guides tell me how perfect my form was!
Having family back home like and follow our exploits!
Favorite dish at Blu!
A bubble bath
The most amazing private cruise at sunset at Land's End of Baja California, Mexico with my sweetheart!


Jumping manta rays at the junction between the Pacific Ocean and the Sea of Cortez!
Memories of childhood on the boat with my daddy. I didn't care that we had no wind to sail because the sound of a boat engine is music to my ears.
Doing this all with my partner on the exact day we "defined our relationship" 28 years ago!
What made me feel most dead and not I tune with God's plan:
Fretting over a snub when we got back. Not part of God's plan for me to worry about it. It is what it is. If some people have no interest in getting to know us (or even introducing us to others), it is their total loss and not ours. I release it all and let it go!
The verse You gave me at the beginning of this which is so amazing (see below): 
The Lord your God is in your midst.
A victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy.
He will be quiet in His love.
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy!
Zephaniah 3:17
(After reading this when it was published, I realize that the opening verse is from Zephaniah 3 also! I had copied out verses 12-20 in my journal in the airport before we left - that is a God thing!)
That is why my earthly father changed my name at birth from Karen to Carol which means "Song of Joy"!
So thankful I also finished The Life of the Beloved on the plane to remind me of my Belovedness even though I do not feel beloved or cherished by my family and the people at this event. He reminded me of the name that my Heavenly Father gave me: Boldly Beloved!

 (Monday Morning: George, "I know your family loves you, but I don't think they fully understand what motivates and drives you. Until recently, they have been so embroiled in overcoming their own addictions they have had no capacity to get to know you beyond what they already knew from the past."  What a wise man.)
This has been a phenomenal time in ways that have grown my heart!
Ways to show my love for God and others:
Give away our pesos! Greet everyone I meet with a smile.

Follow up: WE DID! Every single one and lots of smiles. :) I have some things to think through and process and work on, but it was a stretching trip for me in many ways.

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Tuesday, December 06, 2016

45. Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World by Henri J.M. Nouwen

And you cannot go wrong with a Van Gogh on the cover!
Why had I never read this book before? It is priceless and beautiful, and I give it my highest recommendation. I am reading it for my Renovare Spiritual Formation Online Book Club. The discussion starts on January 2 if you want to join in. Just click on the link.

Henri talks with his Jewish friend about our belovedness before God. So many yummy quotes!

I will share just one:

“Aren't you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you that final feeling of inner well-being you desire? Don't you often hope: 'May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.' But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment you will go on running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied. You know that this is the compulsiveness that keeps us going and busy, but at the same time makes us wonder whether we are getting anywhere in the long run. This is the way to spiritual exhaustion and burn-out. This is the way to spiritual death.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World



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44. Messiah Meditations by Carol Weaver

This is one of my favorite ways to focus on Jesus during the Advent season: Messiah by Handel!

 I have also written a devotional for the month of December that goes along with the libretto:

 You can read it online:
http://3yearbiblebookclub.blogspot.com/2016/11/december-messiah-meditations.html

 Or download a document:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ul28wxndosxkqyy/Messiah%20Meditations%20Devotional.docx?dl=0

I have to say that I enjoy going through this devotional even though I wrote it! LOL!

I had the wonderful privilege of going to his flat in London. I sat in the room where he composed this wonderful piece of music. It was a holy experience:


An interesting fact: Jimmy Hendrix's flat was one floor above Handel's two centuries later! Hendrix was a fan of Messiah as he had two albums of it in his flat:






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Monday, December 05, 2016

43. SPEG Manual

This is a 74 page manual in electronic form that we read for our ministry training. I am counting it as one of my books for 2016 because it has small print! :) It is not available in stores, and it is SO, SO GOOD! It is overwhelming, and I don't think I should have given it to my Kingdom Community. I think it overwhelmed them! LOL!
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