Psalm 22:1-2 -- Crying Out Day and Night

My Prayer Challenge comes to an end! :)

HIS WORDS

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?

Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning. 

O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; 

And by night, but I have no rest.

MY WORDS

My God, my God, why have You abandoned me?
Why are You so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning? [Matt. 27:46]
O my God I cry in the daytime, but you do not answer;
And I am not silent at night and find no rest. 

I WILL 

I am not feeling abandoned at the moment, but I am talking to someone who does feel that way. So, I will commit today in prayer for this person. 

I had intended for my last day to be Easter. Then I thought that my last day would end with this verse on Good Friday since it is the prophecy of Jesus' crucifixion, but I came to the last verse of the SUPER BOWL SUNDAY TO EASTER PRAYER CHALLENGE today.

This has been a WONDERFUL adventure, and I see why David Watson does it on a yearly basis! 

Psalm 88:1-2 - Shouting Out to God for Relief

HIS WORDS

O Lord, the God of my salvation, 

I have cried out by day and in the night before You.

Let my prayer come before You; 

Incline Your ear to my cry!

MY WORDS

O YAHWEH, the God who saves me,
I have shouted out to You pleading for relief  by day and at night I am in Your presence [Luke 18:7].
Let my prayer come before You and really enter into Your presence;
Pay attention and listen to my cry!

I WILL

I am not in any distress, but that can turn on a dime at any time! I definitely been in those kinds of times where I cried day and night. I want to really enter into God's presence today as I pray and listen. I keep doing Bible Study and what I really need to do is have my listening time!!!!! :) Time to start as soon as I press this button! No joke. Ask me if I actually had the time. 

(PM Update: It did turn on a dime. I had a very distressing afternoon. Not my own drama, but it is someone else's, and it made me so distressed. It makes sense now what God told me this morning.)

Psalm 66:18-20 - He Listens Carefully

HIS WORDS

If I regard wickedness in my heart, 

The Lord will not hear; 

But certainly God has heard; 

He has given heed to the voice of my prayer. 

Blessed be God, 

Who has not turned away my prayer 

Nor His lovingkindness from me.

MY WORDS

If I perceive evil in my heart,
The Lord will not hear;
But God has certainly heard;
He has listened carefully to the voice of my prayer.
Blessing to God,
Who has not turned away from my prayer
Nor His loyal love from me.

I WILL

Make sure that I am examining my heart for any "sinful" way as I go into my prayer time today. 

Psalm 28:6-7 - Our Strength and Shield Hears

HIS WORDS

Blessed be the Lord, 

Because He has heard the voice of my supplication. 

The Lord is my strength and my shield; 

My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; 

Therefore my heart exults, 

And with my song I shall thank Him.

MY STUDY

LORD = YAHWEH - the personal name of God occurring 5321 times in the Old Testament. . . the self-existent I AM of Exodus 3:14, who was and is and always will be, Rev 11:17).

MY WORDS

I kneel in blessing to YAHWEH,
Because He has heard my prayer and petition for mercy.
YAHWEH is my Strength and my impenetrable Shield;
My heart trusts in, relies on, and confidently leans on Him, and I am given material and nonmaterial encouragement;
Therefore my inner self  rejoices jubilantly
And I will thank Him with a song.

I WILL

"Rejoice jubilantly" because God spoke to me as I meditated on these verses!

Background: I have a person in my community that continually plays devil's advocate. We were doing discovery discussion on the Samaritan woman at the well, and he disagreed in my interpretation of what it meant to "worship God in spirit and in truth." My comment was based on going back to the original Greek and praying through and meditating on it. So, my conclusion was based on thorough study, and he shot holes in it. 

I wanted to say how I had already thought through it and felt pretty confident in its meaning after careful study, but I sat there in silence, shut-down by his comment and thinking to myself, "There he goes again. Lord, give me extra grace. Accept that he is an intuitive thinker who processes everything out loud and appreciate that that is the way he rolls."  But it still hurts!

We had three people like that (two ENTPs and one ENTJ), and now we are down to only him because the other two left the community (typical of NTs if they are bored or disagree with the process) at the end of the two previous breaks (something we encourage people to do if there is not a specific calling for the kind of work we are training people to do). All three are pretty clueless about how they crush community by their "devil's advocate" kind of comments. By far, this guy is the most mature of the three, but it is still somewhat crushing to always be the butt of the "devil's advocate" part of his personality. I tend to get that alot because I try to be open to feedback (because I really am a learner) and people often feel free to disagree with me, but it is hard when you know you have done your homework, and they assume that you have not and are speaking out of your ignorance. (Frankly, I do not think he did his homework and was speaking out of his, but I digress). 

God's big protective shield came over me as He brought this deep, down hurt that I have nursed throughout this year of being in a group of non-encouragers. I must admit it is really wearing on me after six months of community living with them. Hebrews 10:24,25 people! Live it! I feel like I am constantly giving encouragement to them, and I am not getting any in return. Not the reason why I do it (I have to encourage because it is a part of my gifting and it comes out of me naturally), but it would be NICE now and then! Not gonna' lie! (Thank God I have other encouragers in my life!)  

While He reminded me of the hurt during this meditation, He brought me what I needed. He spoke: 

"I am your impenetrable Shield who will give you the encouragement you need." 

This is an answer to prayer for encouragement. I cannot expect it to happen with this group. I will continue to pray that it does for their own growth (and especially for this guy because I do not think he really understands feeling people and might even think they are emotionally unstable based on his experience with his first wife). But, in the meantime, God is my impenetrable shield and all the encouragement I need. I believe He spoke to me in the hurt. YAY GOD! 

So off to "jubilant song"

Parenthetically, Pieter was singing as he dusted two weeks ago, and when I asked him what he was singing, he said, "I am singing my praise to God because of all He has done." I think something very profound happened to him in the year he was away. Praise be to God! I think He has gotten a hold of his heart and Valentina's too! 

Psalm 138:3 -- You Answer and Give Us Boldness of Soul

HIS WORDS

On the day I called, You answered me; 

You made me bold with strength in my soul.

MY WORDS

The moment I called out to You, You answered me;
You strengthened me with strength (might and inflexibility to temptation) in my inner self. 

I WILL

Continue to pray for boldness of soul for our little kingdom community of followers of Jesus, especially as we head into the spiritual warfare lesson on Sunday from the B's! 

Psalm 118:5-6 - Narrow Straights to Wide Open Spaces

HIS WORDS

From my distress I called upon the Lord; 

The Lord answered me and set me in a large place. 

The Lord is for me; I will not fear; 

What can man do to me?

MY WORDS

From my narrow "straights" of anguish and pain [brought on by threatening enemies], I  called upon YAHWEH;
YAHWEH answered me and set me free and in a large place [this contrasts with "straights"! Psalm 31:8].
YAHWEH is on my side; I will not fear.
What can people do to me? [Heb 13:6]

I WILL

Rejoice in God's deliverance of me and pray for those in "straights" to be delivered. I have two people who are on my heart to pray for today. 



MY STUDY

Here is a study of the whole chapter I did at the Bible Book Club:

LINK: Psalm 118

BACKGROUND

This is part of a group of Hallel songs (Psalms 113-118). These songs were sung at the three "great" festivals of Israel, when every male was to come to Jerusalem (Deuteronomy 16:16). Those three festivals were Passover, Pentecost, and the Feast of Tabernacles. They were also sung at other holy days. Psalm 113-114 were sung before the Passover meal, and  Psalm 115-118 were sung afterwards. 

Some speculate that it was written for the Feast of Tabernacles and maybe for the first celebration after the exiles had returned from their captivity. The fact that he talks about the "corner stone" may relate to the rebuilding of the temple that was going on at that time. Also, he talks of how God has reestablished His nation and triumphed over other nations.

It is a songs of praise to God for his loyal, eternal love. It is a song of thanksgiving and confidence in our God. 

It is perfect for the American readers who are heading into the Thanksgiving holiday!

The Scarlet Thread of Redemption

Jesus referred to Psalm 118:22 when He spoke about being rejected by His own people (Matthew 21:42; Mark 12:10; Luke 20:17). Jesus was rejected but he became the cornerstone of the church (Acts 4:11; Ephesians 2:20; 1 Peter 2:6,7). The cornerstone could be the foundation stone or a stone which crowns a building.  Jesus is both the foundation on which the church is built, and He is the capstone the crowns the church! 

The crowds shouted lines from Psalm 118:26 when Jesus entered Jerusalem at the beginning of the Passion Week,"Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord" (Matthew 21:9). 

Jesus is also the Light God has made to shine upon us (118:27).  

REFLECTION 

Did you know that the middle verse of the Bible is found in this Psalm!

Psalm 118:8 says, "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man."

I remember having a terrible couple of years in college as I struggled to make Jesus my Lord. I had been trusting in someone who turned out to be very deceitful and unkind. I was devastated and depressed.

I went to babysit, and after I had tucked the kids in bed, I opened my Bible to the very center! 

God spoke directly to the center of my heart though this verse that He was the only one I could trust 100% for everything. I gave it all to Him, and He has not let me down. I cling to this verse to this day. 

What a great verse to be at the heart of the Bible!  Trust in Him is the key to everything!

APPLICATION 

Who or what are you trusting in?

PRAYER

Lord, You are the better choice when it comes to trust. Help us to put our lives in Your hands. Amen. 

2014 Update: Also, could you pray for one of those kids I tucked in bed that night? She is a grown woman now and has colon cancer. 

Psalm 116:1-2 -- He Hears

HIS WORDS

I love the Lord, because He hears 

My voice and my supplications. 

Because He has inclined His ear to me, 

Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live. . . 

MY WORDS

I love the LORD, because He has heard and now hears
My voice as I begged for mercy [to save my life].
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore, I will call on Him for the rest of my life.

I WILL

Have a time of praise and thanksgiving in response to yesterday's LONG freewrite! He has indeed saved me from much!

Psalm 107:6 - God Delivers Out of Hopeless Despair

HIS WORDS (about the Israelites in the wilderness)

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; 
He delivered them out of their distresses.

MY WORDS

After being near death from wandering in the wilderness,
the Israelites pleaded to God for relief from their misery;
He delivered them out of their hopeless despair.

I WILL

Remember a time when He delivered me out of hopeless despair through a freewrite.

In 2001, I was devastated by the slander of a woman who wanted to lead Bible studies at my church but no one would let her do it. Having just returned from overseas, I did not know the drama that she had already caused my church, so I thought, "Here is a woman who wants to study the Bible and help others to study it. Why isn't anyone letting her do it?"  So, I embarked on an odyssey to mentor her as a Bible study leader. The women's leadership gave the go ahead as long as I was supervising her. One of the leaders still had great reservations, and we had tension over it, but she was mature about it, and we worked everything out; but I realized I really should have listened to her red flag concerns more.

I did notice that there was a lot of drama in this woman's life, with her parents, with the other women leaders in the church, etc. But I seemed to get along with her fine. I was her "champion," and I wanted so badly to see her fly with the gifts that God had given her.  At first, she showed me her "best side." Over the summer, I tried to convene a peacemaking time with her and the women's ministry director as this woman felt very wronged by her in the past. I heard countless vague allusions regarding what the women's director had done to her (but nothing specific, as I reflect back on it). At the last minute, she backed out of meeting with the women's ministry director and "let it go." 

In the meantime, this woman led a small group study of Colossians. One of my best friends and her friend came. At the end, my best friend decided not to continue in the study in the fall. I should have probed into why! After this was all over, I found out she had major "red flags," but I went blindly forward. But at the time, my best friend did tell me about how one of her friends observed how this younger woman treated me at a meeting at church and said, "I do not like the way she talks to Carol."  I should have seen that red flag because this younger woman's treatment only got more and more harsh, bordering on abusive. 

In the fall, this younger woman led a study in Titus. She was really a good teacher, but I notice more and more how she would almost "bully" the women in the group to get the right answer to her questions. Also, we would have a prayer time once a month where we would set aside the Bible Study to have deeper prayer, and she could never fully engage in that. Also, when we focused in prayer on a woman having particular problems once, she cried and stormed out of the room. 

I noticed more that she wanted "control" of the group and when she was not the center of attention, she would pout. As I was mentoring her and sharing the leadership of the class, I noticed that she did not like it when I did anything leadership-wise. She also became more and more verbally attacking toward me and dramatic about everything else happening in her life. Everyone had wronged her. I was empathetic throughout.

After one time leading where she was literally yelling at people the right answer, she asked me how she did. I dreaded having to tell her that she was yelling, but I did it gently and diplomatically. She stomped away from me and got in her car, calling me later to apologize. She would also call me periodically and chew me out about various things. One time, I prayed about it and called her back and said I did not appreciate it. She thanked me, and she said this was exactly what her best friend would have done.  By this time, I was very afraid of her. She was so hostile at times toward me, and I was twisting myself like a pretzel in trying to accommodate her.

Then, I was taking a shower one day very distressed in my mind about her, and God said, "Carol, I gave you discernment. Use it!"  I knew this woman was not ready for leadership, and I should have really checked out her background before I just blindly went into a partnership with her. I found out, after the fact, how much trouble she had already caused in the women's ministry while I was overseas. I was so blind, and now I was in a mess as this woman was supposed to lead the next study for the Winter and Spring, "Marriage without Regrets." 

I became more and more uncomfortable with what she was doing, and I also noticed her best friend, whom I had a wonderful walk and conversation with a few weeks prior was also starting to treat me very coldly. I went and spent a day of prayer, and God really clearly spoke to me about this woman not being in leadership anymore. I prayed that God would speak to her so I would not have to confront her. I also never spoke to the women's leadership about my concerns, not wanting to gossip. I was all alone with only my close out of town friends and George knowing the turmoil I was going through. One of my out of town friends kept telling me to get out of the relationship, but I was so naive about the devastation she would bring to my life.  

As we approached the beginning of the "Marriage without Regrets" study, she called me to say she just could not lead it and had too much stress in her life. So I told her I could lead it, and she could just be in it. I felt like God had answered my prayer in having her step down, but she was now "in" the study, and she did not like NOT being the center of attention anymore. I believe she was jealous of my leadership and the way the women were responding so positively to me.  On our first "Marriage Without Regrets" meeting, I had people go to different rooms where a rose was waiting for them and guidelines for a listening time with God. She was very upset with me that I did not "approve" this activity with her before I did it. I simply wanted to surprise her with the other women. Also, I thought she did not want to part of leading the study anymore because she was so stressed out. In addition, she was very disruptive during the sharing time when people were talking about how God spoke to them during the "rose" time. It was disheartening, but I carried on. 

Then a couple of lessons into "Marriage without Regrets" she called to say she would not be in the study anymore. I asked her if I had anything to do with her decision and if we were OK. She said, "Yes." Whew! My nightmare was over. She was leaving. I let her tell the group, and I went on. Her best friend was still quite cold toward me (and sadly is still to this day even 13 years later), and I worried about her dropping out of the study too.

A period of time elapsed, and I continued leading the study. Then, out of the blue, I get a call from this woman telling me I was to come to a meeting with the women's ministry director, associate pastor, and one of the elder's wives who was now this woman's "champion." When I asked her what this was about, she said, "I cannot tell you, and you will have to come to the meeting."

I called the women's ministry director, and she alluded to the fact that this woman felt I had done something to force her out of the Bible Study. All I know is that her counselor was apparently so concerned that she told her to not talk to me about her concerns and go directly to church leadership about me. When I told the women's ministry director that this woman was doing to me exactly what she had done to her the summer prior, she didn't make the connection.

I was DEVASTATED! Especially since I had been so careful with my words and gentle with her even though she was bordering on abusive with me. Now she had tried to rally church leadership against me (and her counselor whom I now have a cordial relationship, and I have always wondered if she has any idea how her "counsel" devastated me or if she even knew it was me), and I felt like no one was interested in hearing what had happened in our relationship (one of the steps of peacemaking is letting everyone tell their stories before passing judgment). Since I had not talked to them about any problems, I think they thought I was the problem. I know that I could grow in how I relate and was willing to take responsibility for my part in the conflict, but it was devastating to be labeled "the problem" with no opportunity to tell my story. 

I told the leadership that I would come but my husband would be there with me. They did not like that, but that is what was going to happen. It was awkward because this woman's husband did NOT want to be there and thought it was her problem to deal with on her own and did not want anything to do with it. The elder's wife was to be there in place of her husband to be her "champion."

I agreed. On the day of the big meeting, she backed out at the last minute, preferring to talk on the phone. I wanted a face to face meeting and by this time had involved a Peacemaking Ministries coach who encouraged a face-to-face meeting and for me to really examine my heart where I went wrong. She also encouraged me to tell my story and not be afraid to tell the other woman where I was hurt. 

So the phone call came, and her husband was there. This woman told me off, but never really told me what I did. I was confused, and I asked what I had specifically done to her, she could not give me an example. I still, to this day, do not know what I did, nor what she told the leadership I had done to her to warrant the "meeting." My husband thinks that she backed out of the meeting because she knew she would not have anything to back up her claims (whatever those claims were). In this case, I still do not know what I did. I like to know how I can do things differently the next time. From my perspective, I was so gentle and diplomatic, probably too much so and more so than I usually am because I was so afraid of her! 

After she told me off, I told her that I would pray about what she said (I cannot remember what she said!), and I had some things to say about our relationship when she was ready to hear it. Her husband said, "No response is required," and they hung up! (Even the Peacemaker Ministries coach was speechless after I told her what happened.)

Shortly thereafter, they left the church. Eventually (a couple of years later), she left her husband and children for another woman. She has little, if any, contact with her children. He has never talked to me about the situation, and the best friend still feels like I did something wrong to her friend, even though they never speak anymore. 

The aftermath of that phone call was devastating for me, I felt abandoned by the leadership of my church (Except the one leader who I worked everything out with the previous summer. She eventually left the church, as I did (because peacemaker principles continued to be violated over and over again), and we go to the same church now and have warm regard for one another.). 

The good thing is that the "Marriage without Regrets" study continued to the end. I really wanted to quit, but God told me while meditating in Nehemiah to continue "building the wall." I have continued to "build the wall" in women's lives, and  I have two dear friends out of that study, Kim and Rachel. 

All but her best friend stuck that study out to the end. That was more devastating to me than even the relationship with the woman because it was all based on secondhand knowledge. It left me so powerless because I could not change this woman's bad opinion based on false information. When I asked her if I had done anything to offend her personally, she acknowledged that I had not; but she still chose to evaluate me based on secondhand knowledge from her best friend (who was jealous of my relationship with her) and another woman who was also very emotionally unstable and who has since apologized to me for the way she treated me and slandered me to others based on a silly misunderstanding about an invitation to dinner, of all things!  Even after my former partner left her husband and children, we talked, and her bad opinion of me had not changed. I am a people-pleaser at heart, but I cannot make her like me so I have since let it go. 

All that said, I finished the Bible Study well, but I was devastated. My confidence had been shaken to the core. The rumors about me were devastating. George told me that he "lost" me for months. I would sit at dinner staring off into space. I went on countless walks trying to stave off the deep sadness I felt.

One particularly devastating day, I was lying on my bed, and I cried out to God in my distress (like the verse above). I asked God, "Lord, would You please take me out of this deep pit and affirm my calling."  Seconds later, the phone rang, and a woman who had heard about how great my "Marriage without Regrets" study had been wanted to know if I would lead one with her and a friend and anyone else who wanted to be in it. This was God's confirmation and answer. Immediately after finishing the first "Marriage without Regrets" study, I led a group of four women over the summer of 2001, and it was the best study I had ever had with the result of these women wanting to bring in their husbands and some of the other women who had been in my first "Marriage without Regrets" study. We were together for many happy years!

Years later, the woman who called me that day wrote me this with a LIFESAVER roll of candy attached:

Carol, 

God threw me a LIFESAVER when our paths crossed again (my best friend had led her to the Lord so I knew her a bit when she was at University of Oregon). I was drifting away from the Lord when you came along and reminded me that His way is the true and the best way. Thank you for helping me get back on course with the Lord and for challenging me to make my life count. 

Thank you for being my friend. 

Love in Christ, L_________.  

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that he 

lay down his life for his friends.

She knows that she was God's LIFESAVER and answer to my prayer of distress. He delivered me out of hopeless despair and set me back on the straight path of my calling. Praised be to God! 

Psalm 6:8-9 -- Yahweh Hears and Receives

HIS WORDS ( A Psalm of David)

Depart from me, all you who do iniquity, 

For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping. 

The Lord has heard my supplication, 

The Lord receives my prayer.

MY WORDS

Go away from me, all you who do evil,
For YAHWEH has heard the voice of my tears. [Matt 7:23; Luke 13:27]
YAHWEH has heard my request for favor,
YAHWEH receives my plea. 

I WILL

Ponder and thank God that He hears and receives our cries to Him when we get ourselves involved with the wrong people. I have gotten myself in a ton of hot water with them.  One time, after a particularly painful and devastating six month partnership with one of these types of people, God said to me in the shower, "I gave you discernment. USE IT!" Over the course of that six month, I stood up for that person, defended her, was her champion to the leadership of our church, and then she turned on me and lied about me. My problem is that I am very empathetic, and I have let people into my life that I have tried to help (Hope Springs Eternal!) with painful consequences to me and my family (many "bite your hand" after a while). This, too, is DISOBEDIENCE. I have learned not to let my empathy override my OBEDIENCE!

 Now I pray and discern and let Him direct whom I become involved with. It has made such a difference in my life. I had a little "slip up" this fall when God told me that someone was not to be involved in our ministry, and I could not tell that person, "No." when they wanted to join. That was disobedience. Plain and simple. I am thankful that God heard our plea though, and it ended without too disastrous of consequences! 

Now I am on the verge of some decisions about more people, and a recent "applicant" is a wildcard in that I do not know them. (Not necessarily evil though, just clarifying.) Lord, hear my request for favor in discerning about this person. :) 

Psalm 5:1-3 -- Eagerly Waiting to See What You Will Do!

Photo by Adelphos Chaz https://www.flickr.com/photos/93417818@N02/12805576053/
used by permission

HIS WORDS

Give ear to my words, O Lord, 
Consider my groaning. 
Heed the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God, 
For to You I pray. 
In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; 
In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.

MY WORDS

Listen to my words, O Lord,  
Pay attention to my intense meditation, musing or sighing. 
Listen carefully to the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God,
For to you I pray.
In the morning, O LORD, May You hear my voice;
In the morning I will prepare my prayer to You and eagerly wait to see what You will do. 

I WILL

I already had my listening time and eagerly waited to hear from Him. I have a busy morning (and day), but in my listening time, I heard the word ENJOY! I will enjoy my ride up to Mac and continue to listen (because hearing from Him is more enjoyable than anything, really), enjoy Lorraine in Mac, enjoy a manicure, enjoy my mother-in-law, and enjoy my man! 

After all, it is the 
Monthly 
McMinnville
Manicure
Mom's
Man
Monastery (that is tomorrow, but I might go to the Salem Upper Room, and that is not an "M"!)
TIME!
WOOHOO!

Psalm 3:4 -- He Answers, but Do We Listen?

HIS WORDS

I was crying to the Lord with my voice, 

And He answered me from His holy mountain. Selah.

MY WORDS 

(Written by David when He escaped for His life from Absalom, His Son, 1 Samuel 15:13-17:22) 

With a loud voice, I cried out to the LORD,
And He heard and answered me out of His holy hill. Selah [pause and calmly thing of that]

("His holy hill" was the place where the ark of the covenant resided at the time of David and later the Temple Mount. It was considered "God's throne" and the place where His glory dwelt)

I WILL 

Selah - pause and calmly think of a recent occurrence where I cried out to Him, and He answered me. I will do this in the form of a freewrite below.

There were a couple of things that really caused me great anxiety on Saturday afternoon. One of the things was quickly resolved, but the other thing nagged at me. I went to sleep and woke up still feeling horrible. I cried through all of church. I knew I would have 15 people invading my living room within the hour (one of whom was the person related to the anxiety). So I needed to find resolution!

I went for a walk down to the school and walked around and around and cried out to the LORD and then LISTENED to His voice (Do you realize how often we FORGET to take time to do that in our prayer time?). He heard me and HE ANSWERED me by telling me something I did not expect. 

(Long story, short is that my "crying out" was because I had offered my help repeatedly to someone, and they never responded to my offers over a three year period. Then, I heard they had been helped with the same solution by someone else. I felt so rejected.) 

When I listened, God said, "I did not tell you to offer help to that person, Carol. It may have made sense to offer your help, but it was not My will for you to do so." 

An immediate peace flooded my soul! It was never God's will! I could walk back home to a house full of people with a renewed heart. He also reminded me that he gave me THREE names of people to help in my "listening time" only days before (and two of those three were in my living room). That person's name was not one of the names He told me, and I need to rest in that! His ways are higher than my ways. 

This was a pattern in the past. I remember the wise words of one of my mentors many years ago (1984), "Carol, you are so willing to help that sometimes you get ahead of the Holy Spirit." 

Listening and obeying involves obeying even when the thing we want to do is GOOD. The choice is always between GOOD, BETTER, and BEST, and while my offers of help were GOOD, it was not the BEST thing that God has for me.

I offered myself, and my help was not fully received (it was hard to see that person struggle when I had a way of helping them), but that person would even say that she was not ready and was struggling with so many things at the time I offered that it would not have sunk in anyway. The Holy Spirit's timing has been perfect for her to receive help from someone else. And that someone else is a dear friend, and she said, "God knew I needed the encouragement of her eagerness for growth, Carol" because she had come through a major rejection from another person right before that. 

Father knows BEST. I do not. But He will tell me if I listen and obey!

SELAH!

Philemon 1:4-6 -- Overflow

HIS WORDS

I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints; and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake.

MY WORDS (with much help from the Amplified Bible)

I thank God for you always when I make mention of you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus that overflows on to all the others who are devoted followers of Him; and I pray that the participation in and sharing of your faith may produce and promote good things that people will recognize that it is Christ behind all of it. 

I WILL

Live a life of overflow today. I will start by reading this article 

"Ministering Out of Overflow"

Philippians 1:3-11 -- Prayer for the Philippians

HIS WORDS

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me. For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

MY WORDS

I thank my God whenever I remember you, always offering a prayer of joy in my every prayer for every one of you, considering your sympathetic cooperation and contribution and partnership in advancing the gospel from the first day you heard it until now. For I am convinced and sure that He who began a good work in you will continue doing that good work until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing that good work and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

It is totally appropriate for me to have this confidence and feel this way about you all, because you have me in your heart and I have you in my heart as partakers and sharers with me, of grace [God's unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), This is true when I am in prison and when I am out proclaiming and defending the good news (Gospel). 

God has seen how I long for and pursue you all with love, in the tender mercy of Christ!

And this I pray: that your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in insight gain by deep, penetrating knowledge, going down to the foundation and experiential knowledge that leads to the ability to discriminate morally (between good and bad) so that you may learn to sense what is vital, and approve and prize what is excellent and of real value [recognizing the highest and the best, and distinguishing the moral differences], and they you may be free from spot or blemish to such a degree as to bear examination in the full splendor of the sun (love that Zodhiates definition!) and not stumbling (or causing others to stumble) until the day Jesus returns. May you abound in and be filled with the fruits of righteousness (of right standing with God and right doing) which come through Jesus Christs (the Anointed One), to the honor and praise of God so that His glory will be manifested and recognized. 

I WILL

Pray this for one of the guys in our ministry that I can tell is really struggling. Lord, manifest Your glory through him today. 

Joshua 7:6-12 -- Falling On Your Face and Asking Questions

HIS WORDS

Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell to the earth on his face before the ark of the Lord until the evening, both he and the elders of Israel; and they put dust on their heads. Joshua said, “Alas, O Lord God, why did You ever bring this people over the Jordan, only to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us? If only we had been willing to dwell beyond the Jordan! “O Lord, what can I say since Israel has turned their back before their enemies? “For the Canaanites and all the inhabitants of the land will hear of it, and they will surround us and cut off our name from the earth. And what will You do for Your great name?” So the Lord said to Joshua, “Rise up! Why is it that you have fallen on your face? “Israel has sinned, and they have also transgressed My covenant which I commanded them. And they have even taken some of the things under the ban and have both stolen and deceived. Moreover, they have also put them among their own things. “Therefore the sons of Israel cannot stand before their enemies; they turn their backs before their enemies, for they have become accursed. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy the things under the ban from your midst.

MY WORDS

Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell to the earth on his face before the ark of the LORD along with all the elders of Israel until evening. They put dirt on their heads, and Joshua said, "My goodness, LORD! Why did you even bring this people across the Jordan? Was it so we would be victims of the Amorites and be wiped out? Why didn't we just stay and settle on the east side of the Jordan? Lord, What can I say since Israel has been run off by its enemies? When the Canaanites and all the others living in this area hear about this, they'll all gang up on us and annihilate! What is that going to do for Your reputation? 

God said to Joshua, "Get up. Why are you on your face? Israel has sinned they have disobeyed My covenant which I commanded them. They have taken plunder that is forbidden; they have stolen and then covered it up by hiding it away in their own stuff. The People of Israel cannot even look their enemies in the eye; they are plunder themselves! I cannot continue with you if you do not get rid of these cursed things. 

I WILL

Separate the precious from the worthless in my listening prayer time today. You told me some specific things to do. Then some things were discovered yesterday that made me realize that I am holding on to some "forbidden plunder" in my heart. Somethings are just forbidden for me to do and go down, and I am perilously close to going down GOOD roads that are not BETTER roads for me to go down. I need to just LISTEN and OBEY - - No more and no less! 

Jonah 2:7 - Remember the Lord

HIS WORDS

“While I was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, And my prayer came to You, Into Your holy temple.

MY WORDS

When my soul was crushing me, I intentionally remembered the Lord; and my prayer came to You, into Your hold temple. 

I WILL

Yesterday was sort of "soul crushing" morning, but I did remember the LORD while listening and obeying (also had Kim pray), and the cloud lifted by the afternoon. 

Remember You this morning by having a "quiet time" of listening. 

Jonah 2:1-2 -- Cry for Help, and He Hears

Tintoretto [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Jonah Leaves the Whales Belly 

HIS WORDS

Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the stomach of the fish, and he said, “I called out of my distress to the Lord, And He answered me. I cried for help from the depth of Sheol; You heard my voice."

MY WORDS

Then Jonah prayed to the only LORD, his God from the belly of the fish, and Jonah said, "I called out of my distress [trouble, anguish, extreme discomfort, affliction] to the LORD, and He answered me. I cried, 'Help!' from the belly of the grave, and You heard my voice."

I WILL

It is amazing how these verse always seem to line up with what is happening in my life. I already followed through on my "I WILL" before even finishing this. I started with these verse realizing I was sort of in the depths of despair myself! I woke up REALLY discouraged. I have not gotten a lot of encouragement from people lately. Hebrews 10:24,25 says we are "stimulate one another to love and good deeds," but our present group of people has more "refiners" than "encouragers." So I prayed for encouragement, wrote my bestie about my discouragement to ask for prayer, encouraged some others, and God heard my cry! He encouraged me in my distress, and then an answer to pray regarding yesterday's "I WILL" came along! 

You do hear GOD! YAY! 

Out of the belly of the whale and spit out on the shore. :) I am ready to face the Ninevites (world) now!

Job 30:20-23 -- Crying to Him for Help

Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Job's Afflliction

HIS WORDS

“I cry out to You for help, but You do not answer me; I stand up, and You turn Your attention against me. You have become cruel to me; With the might of Your hand You persecute me. You lift me up to the wind and cause me to ride; and You dissolve me in a storm. For I know that You will bring me to death And to the house of meeting for all living."

MY WORDS

"I ask fervently for help from You, but You do not answer me; I stand up and You only look at me with indifference. You have become harsh and cruel to me; you only keep me alive to persecute me with Your mighty power. You lift me up to the wind so that I can ride on it in the tempest. For I know that You will bring me to death and to the house of meeting for all living."

I WILL

Job was in a terrible place. I do not have this concept of You, but I have never been as miserable as Job, and I have never been as miserable as the widow who just called me to ask me to pay for her cable bill.  She is constantly in financial trouble. "The cable is not for me but for my children, Carol." Food and shelter are necessities, but a cable TV is not. 

It is funny because I was just praying for her earlier this morning wondering why I had not heard from her, and God brought the thought that she needs to learn money management skills. So, He has already spoken about how I can obey:

I WILL NOT pay her cable bill.
I WILL offer to set her up with some financial management tools that will help her meet her obligations every month. I will call Kathy to see if they have a class going, and George said we could help with that. 

By the way, while I was on the phone with George, she called to say that the cable bill was taken care of. 

Update of Follow Through: I just got a call from a man who leads the Dave Ramsey Financial Freedom Class who is willing to sit down with her two times a month and work through her budget problems! YAY God! 

Jeremiah 29:7 -- Seek God for the City

From: http://waymakers.org/pray/seek-god/

HIS WORDS

‘Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf; for in its welfare you will have welfare.’

MY WORDS

The LORD of hosts, the God of Israel to all the exiles whom He sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon through Jeremiah the prophet: 

"Seek with care the peace and tranquility (Shalom) of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD for its well-being; for in its peace and welfare you will have peace and welfare."

I WILL

Continue to pray through the great app "Seek God for the City 2014" developed by my former Bangkok teammate, Steve Hawthorne. This is the passage that God gave George when we left Southeast Asia in 1999, thinking we would raise our children there. It was a devastating blow, and we joke that we are in "Captivity in Corvallis" not knowing that it would be 15 years! We are here until God opens the door back, and we continue to pray for and are involved through volunteering in the peace and well-being of this city! We have chosen to "bloom where we have been planted."

I prayed as I prayer walked from Ash Wednesday to Easter using this app last year, and it was so good! 

Here is today's emphasis:

James 1:4-7 -- Asking without Doubting

HIS WORDS

 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord.

MY WORDS

But let the process of faith testing go on until you have become a people of mature character with the right sort of independence. But if any of you do not have wisdom, ask God for it for He loves to give it generously and does not do it in a codescending way. Ask and He will gove it! But do not waver when you ask but ask full of faith. The person who doubts when he asks is like the sea that tosses around when a storm comes. That man will not receive anything since he cannot make up his mind about what he believes.

I WILL

Not forget to have my daily listening times to receive direction from Him. Smooth sailing ahead. God Guides is such a great reminder.

Hebrews 13:20-21 -- Benediction of Peace

HIS WORDS

Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through dthe blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

MY WORDS

Now may our God who is the Author and Giver of peace and brought our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, up from the dead by the blood that sealed and ratified the everlasting covenant (Isaiah 55:3), strengthen and make you what you ought to be and equip you with everything good that you may carry out His will; accomplishing what is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ (the Messiah) to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

I WILL

Pray this as I prepare our present Jesus Community for the EAP of SHAPE! Praying that they go out and fulfill what He made them to be.