Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith

I read this three years ago. You can read my review HERE. I had considered putting it in my curriculum then, and this reading was for the training that starts in September. I think it is going to be a great fit!

It was different to read it from the perspective of leading a discussion with directors in training. 

Looking into the Well: Supervision of Spiritual Directors

 

I started this book before I went to Spain in October, but I didn't get very far. This took SO LONG to get through. It is more of a reference book.

Here is what I wrote on 2/13 when I was about halfway through the book:  

What else am I reading right now? Oh

Looking into the Well: Supervision of Spiritual Directors

I do not like the organization of the book. It is so bad. However, it has been helpful for me to get another perspective on supervision. It is also the model that Deepen II uses when supervising (even though they are typically doing more consultation about how to do spiritual direction rather than actually doing supervision which is helping your people gain self-awareness and interior freedom). I'm only about 1/2 way through the book, and it is very laborious because it is very poorly written, edited, and organized (needs a serious update - it has so many good gems in it that are overshadowed by those three things). So, it has taken me forever to get through it, but it is helping me as a supervisor. I also don't really connect with the "Well" illustration. It is also very cluttered and clunky. The picture is not good either. It is confusing. 

I really prefer the simplicity of Lucy Abbott Tucker who approaches supervision very simply. Here is my review of her book. 

I found a YouTube video of the two comparing their philosophies of supervision. It is interesting to note that the author of Looking into the Well talks for 61% of it compared to Lucy Abbot Tuckers 39%. Tucker's training (and book) is short, concise, and to the point! Just like her talking! More my style. The Maureen Conroy is like her book, long-winded and needs to be edited!!!!

I do like many of the things in the book though. I think LAT is just very creative in her approach to supervision and very open-handed to make it not so laborious. She doesn't require endless looking at verbatims but offers other ways of directors to inform the supervisor about their direction and evaluate it. 

I do like being on the same page with the people in Deepen though. Writing this inspires me to finish the book!  (And I may use what I just wrote to write my review of the book on my blog!)

And that is exactly what I did! Here it is a week later, and I forced myself to read it to the end. It does have some great things, but she keeps repeating herself over and over again. It needs editing. It also needs reorganization. It has 21 "Learning Experiences" at the end of the book that would have been better incorporated in the chapters. I kept having to shift back and forth between them and the numbers of the Learning Experiences did not always progress forward with the chapters of the books. I didn't like going back and forth and out of order. 

The book grew on me though. I will use some of the things in it. Actually, the thing I liked most about the book were the beautiful prayers at the end! I also like how she encourages the Ignatian Exercises. That is a big positive for me. I will share it with the people I am supervision this year in Deepen. 

I am SO RELIEVED to be done with this book!!

Landscapes of the Soul

This is a wonderfully deep dive into attachment. I loved. It also has some lovely application.

Shout out to the author who let me read a draft copy so that I could determine whether or not I would us it in the spiritual direction training I will be doing in the future. 

Highly recommend if you want a deep dive. 

God's Voice Within

This still remains one of my favorite books on discernment, and it is part of both my Body and Soul Companion Spiritual Direction Training (message me if you are interested in this Fall 2026 training) and Spiritual Exercises Ignatian Training. 

His writing is simple and easy to understand. I also like Elizabeth Liebert's book, The Way of Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Decision Making. That book has so many practical activities. Both are part of my spiritual direction training.  And both of these books are the foundation for my YouTube series: Decision Making & Discernment 

Here is the first one in a series of 18:

Living in Christ's Presence

Here is a review from 10 years ago. I still feel the same way!

This time, I noticed it was on Audible. It is the audio of the conference 77 days before Dallas Willard died. I had considered putting this in my Spiritual Direction Training Curriculum, and I still might. I love it so much. I might go so far as to say that every follower of Jesus should read it!

Read my old review for wonderful quotes. 

Spiritual Direction: An Introduction

This is my third reading. It is my favorite book on spiritual direction. It is very detailed and practical. During my training, we read it in one sitting. This time (in my training to be a trainer), we are reading it one chapter at a time in the second year. I think this is better.

It is so full of resources! It also has examples of actual direction sessions that can be very helpful. 

Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen

I think I will put this in the curriculum I am developing. I love Nouwen. I also love that Belovedness is included in this book. It is a combination of formation and direction. It has just one problematic part because he speaks of Vanier of L'Arche. Nouwen died before anyone knew of Vanier's sexual abuse. I will have the participants skip this part, and maybe future editions of this book will take this out of the book (which is a collection of his writings about spiritual direction in one volume). 

Our Un-Forming: De-Westernizing Spiritual Formation

Finished Reading on November 5th

This was recommended as a possible book for a spiritual direction curriculum that includes cross-cultural spiritual direction, but I just didn't think it really offered anything of value. Where were the ideas for De-Westernizing? 

Sorry, missed the mark. I will use the wonderful articles I found online. They are written by people with years of experience doing direction in cross-cultural settings.  I also plan on reading the book Pastoral Counseling Across Cultures.

Anatomy of the Soul

Finished: October 23

This is my third read of this book. I did a little teaching on body awareness in spiritual direction, and it is so helpful to understand how important our body and brain are in spirituality!

Here is my pervious review

Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

Reread October 26

This is my second read. Here is the first review. 

Sacred Companions

Finished Reread: October 4, 2023

This is a reread, and I still love it. It is such a gentle and wonderful introduction to the practice of spiritual direction. 

Here is my previous review.

Spiritual Direction Supervision: Principles, Practices, and Storytelling

I read this over February and March when I took a course from the author, but I forgot to log it here! So, I only have three more books to goal of 52 books! WOOHOO!

I felt so privileged to be able to take supervision training from this wonderful woman. She has 40 years of experience in Spiritual Direction, and her teaching was so practical! She has done this for so many years but has only recently written a book about supervision. It is so good!

Sensible Shoes: A Story About the Spiritual Journey

As I was biking home from my classes back in May, I ran into my friend, Nikki, who I had not seen in years. She talked about her journey since I last saw here, and I told her I was a spiritual director. She said, "Oh that is like a character in the book I read while I was in Greece." When I got home, I looked for it in my library, and they had both a hard copy and a Kindle book. So, I checked it out.

For anyone who doesn't understand what spiritual direction is all about, this is a great book to understand both group and individual spiritual direction through the lives of four women who join a spiritual formation group.

There is...

Hannah (Type Two - Helper) - Hannah, a full time pastor, who is "forced" to take a sabbatical by her boss because he can see how exhausted she is, but she cannot.

Meg (guessing a Type Six - Anxious Loyalist) - a widow and recent empty-nester who has not ventured out into the world due to fear. 

Mara (not sure for her - she was the least developed of the characters, maybe a Type Seven?) - a woman in a difficult marriage with a difficult upbringing who looked for love in all the wrong places.

Charissa (Type One - Perfectionist) - A hard-working graduate student who wants to always get things right and questions the whole spiritual journey and exercises the spiritual director suggests. 

It is not the most captivating story, but I liked this example of spiritual formation in COMMUNITY and one-on-one spiritual direction which, when combined, can lead to wonderful growth. I would give this to someone who wanted to learn more about what would be involved in spiritual direction and a spiritual formation group. 

By the way, I do this with three groups right now (Order of the Mustard Seed Year of Preparation Cohort, The Second Half Collaborative, and Body and Soul Companion). I also meet one-on-one with women aged 25-70. It has been so lovely to walk with people!

This blog had quotes for each main character and questions that I found helpful when I was having a hard time getting them all straight in my head:

Hannah: a pastor

"You told the congregation that pruning isn't punishment -  it's improvement.  You reminded us that pruning is God's way of shaping us to become even more like Christ.  Jesus said the branches that get pruned are the one's bearing fruit.  And you're bearing fruit, Hannah. Lot's of it.  This sabbatical punishment - it's pruning.It's time to let God care for you and shape you so you can become even more like Christ."  [16]  
              
Are you a "Hannah"?  Are you so involved in church activities/ministries that you are worn out?


Meg: a widow and empty nester

"Becca's lively presence at home had kept Meg happily preoccupied.  There had been so much to do together, so many preparations to make for the overseas adventure.Becca's joy and enthusiasm had temporarily buoyed Meg's spirits above her own grief.  But now the empty house engulfed her with dreadful stillness. Mother was also gone. Still gone." [10] 
       

Are you a "Meg"?  Are you carrying around grief from something that was lost to you?

Mara: in a difficult marriage

"Agitation is also God's gift to us, Mara, strange as it sounds.  Imagine yourself standing in a doorway, at a threshold. Your discontent can move you out of the old and into the new.  When you reach the end of yourself and say, 'I'm tired of living this way. I want something more!' then God is there, helping you to let go and move forward." Does that make sense?" [33]


Are you a "Mara"?  Are there situations from your past that continue to affect your present life in a negative way?

Charissa: graduate student; perfectionist

 "'Apart from the spiritual formation recommendations I made in class, why are you interested in going?' She thought for a moment and then answered, 'To learn.' He stopped walking and turned his riveting dark eyes upon her. 'Wrong answer,' he said, smiling enigmatically.  Was he teasing her? Though she was several inches taller than her professor, Charissa suddenly felt rather small.  Lowering her gaze from his eyes, she focused instead on his neatly trimmed goatee and waited for him to explain himself. 'Go to encounter God, Charissa, or don't go at all.'" [24]


Are you a "Charissa"?  Are you consumed with perfectionism and knowing the "right" answers?

Renovated: God, Dallas Willard, and the Church That Transforms

I have a directee that wanted to dive into this book. Since I was reading Renovation of the Heart for the Renovare Book Club, I thought I would read this along side it. 

I think the summary below says it all. He talks about mutual attachment in love to God. I have always thought that a person's concept of God based on their childhood will not cause a person to be attached to God and that significant healing needs to take place (but is totally possible). 

This is what I discuss and pray through with many directees. 

Here is the blurb from the book: 

Christianity has tended to focus on right beliefs and right choices as the keys for personal growth. But biblical evidence and modern brain science show that our character is shaped more by whom we love than what we believe.

Through conversations he had with Dallas Willard at the Heart & Soul Conference shortly before Dallas's death, Jim Wilder shows how we can train our brains to relate to God based on joyful, mutual attachment--which leads to emotional and spiritual maturity as our identity and character are formed by our relationship with God.

14. Spiritual Direction: A Practical Introduction

This is my favorite of all the spiritual direction books that I read over the last two years. It is truly a "Practical Introduction" as the title says. She has so many links to websites that I have looked up and read. I like how she sees spiritual direction as an opportunity for outreach to all peoples. I do too. I don't necessarily agree with her about everything in her practice, but overall, I loved this book and will use it as a reference in the future. 

By the way, this was a reread.

12. The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith

This is my second read-through of this book having read it in November of 2018. (You can find my review of from that time HERE.) I gave it three stars on Goodreads at that time, but I am giving it four stars this time. I liked it better the second time around. Part of the reason is that last time I read the digital edition that was not a Kindle but a facsimile of the original book which made it really difficult to navigate. 

I have also worked with so many more directees at different stages in their journey since reading it last time, and I think the questions at each stage will be really helpful for me in helping my directees along on their journey. 

Also, between reading this the first time and now, I have read Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle and a Ph.D. thesis of a Bethel University student who compares The Critical Journey to the mansions in the Interior Castle and to Clinton's Leadership Emergence Theory/The Making of a Leader which I read years ago and found so helpful in my journey with Jesus.  So it fascinated me to read with that new lens. You can find the Ph.D. thesis HERE. It is really good!

We are revisiting it for the last module of our Spiritual Direction Training:

Module 5 is about recognizing and working with directees in various stages of faith. The Critical Journey...is listed here in order to concentrate on stages 3, 4, 5 and “The Wall” (where most directees are located). Consequently, those particular chapters are the focus. We want to explore in greater detail what it looks like to accompany directees well in each of these stages. 

You might be curious about what those stages of faith are. Here is the diagram:




I do like the combination of all three books and the Ph.D. Thesis and will use all the things I learned when working with directees. 

I still think the last few chapters should be edited and integrated into the chapters of the stages because they repeated quite a bit of the same information. 

Spiritual Direction: An Introduction by Sue Pickering - Chapter 2 Listening to God

Quotes 

Unaware of their own value as children of God, they don't expect God to be interested in their concerns and so they don't recognize God's activity. (p. 40)

As spiritual directors, we listen and watch for this sort of divine weaving of listening and response in the experience of those we companion, alert for anything that hints at a movement of the Spirit in the life of the individual. 

• Reflect on a significant time of listening and responding to God in your own life. Consider the extent to which you recognised that God was at work.(p.41)

"To listen to another's soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another . . . One can listen someone into existence." (p. 41, quoting Douglas Steere in Weavings, IX (3): The Upper Room, p. 25)

We do not give to our directees our answers to life's difficult questions; we do not impose upon them our ways of praying or imply that our way of seeing or understanding God is the only way. What we want to be able to give, to model, are: 

• Our confidence that the God of grace will meet and touch people who want to find their spiritual direction.
• Our sense of being on solid ground based on our experience of encounter with the reality of God in our own lives. 
• Our learnings about the territory that directees may discover as they leave familiar road maps of faith, not so we can tell them the way - that is the work of the Holy Spirit - but so that we can fearlessly companion them when they enter desert or darkness on their journey with and towards God. 
• Our capacity to 'listen to directee's soul into fuller existence'. (p.41-42)

Much of the content of spiritual direction is influenced by the way directees view God and by their struggles to allow their image of God to develop as they discover more of God's character, and experience more of God's love. (p. 43) 

'Who is the God you don't believe in?' asked in the context of open-hearted listening, can invite a re-examination of the experiences, the philosophy and beliefs, and ultimately the image of God which has culminated in the person making a choice to deny God's existence. (p.45)

We do not offer 'cheap grace' or minimize people's accountability for their actions, but we help them bring their uncertainty to God, we help them deepen their relationship with Jesus, we help them listen to the compassionate Spirit. (p. 49)

Theodicy - reconciling the power and goodness of God with the reality of evil and suffering - demanded my attention. (p. 50)

In spiritual direction we walk alongside those who are grappling with the theological, relational, communal and personal implications of a changing view of God and how God works in the world. (p. 51)

We are of little use to others if we have not done our own work here, if we are not able to sit with directees and acknowledge with them the mysteries of life and death. We are at risk of responding with platitude when these and other questions are raised, if we have not engaged at depth and at cost, with the seeming enigma of a God of love and a world of suffering; if we have not found for ourselves the truth of the God who is present - seen or unseen - even in the midst of chaos and tragedy. (p. 51)

Reflection questions

• Divide a page into segments to represent your life or example 0-10, 11-20, 21-30 etc. In each segment, write or draw a symbol to indicate what your primary image of God was during each period. How has your image of God changed, and what factors have promoted this change?
• What name/s do you currently use to address God when you pray? Which member of the Trinity do you relate to most easily? Least comfortably?

So why should we listen to God? Because:

• listening is central to the development of any lasting relationship. Listening to God helps build bonds of love between ourselves and God, and helps us receive God's love deep within our spirits;
• God tells us to: 'This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased; listen to him!' (Matthew 17.5b). We are called to imitate Christ, who listened to the Father, withdrawing regularly into solitude so he could be still and silent enough to hear clearly;
• by listening to God we acknowledge our creature-hood; God sees the bigger picture whereas we see only a part. We don't always know the answers or what is best for us, but God does;
• listening helps us to co-operate with God in furthering the work of the kingdom; as we listen, options for service are explored; relationships are healed; choices are discerned; ways forward for wise us of resources and time are found;
• other people receive the help they need as we attend to the promptings of the Holy Spirit;
• listening to God can help keep us out of trouble, for example Joseph's warning dream to take Jesus to safety in Egypt (Matthew 2.13-15)
• listening to God helps us learn about ourselves: we are encouraged, in the safety of God's acceptance and love, to face our frailty and to develop our potential; gradually the fruit of the Spirit grows in our lives. The more we listen and respond, the deeper the cycle of disclosure and intimacy between ourselves and God and the deeper the level of truth. (p. 53) 

(Retreat in daily life mentioned - I am a big fan of this. I reformatted all of these and have them in my word processor. Available upon request. The website is a bit of a mess, but here is the one I reformatted it from: http://orientations.jesuits.ca/bob/retreat.htm)(p. 53)

God can 'speak' or enter a person's life in a whole variety of ways. In spiritual direction, if we are aware of this diversity we are better placed to help directees pay attention to God, so let's consider some common communication channels

Scripture As spiritual directors we may find ourselves viewing the Bible differently from our directees... It is not the role of the SD to enter into theological debate . . . if a directee brings to spiritual direction a 'hot topic'...then the director's role is to listen well, before encouraging the directee to put the questions and concerns raised directly to God and to listen to God's response. As spiritual directors we do well to have done our own reflection and research on topical issues as they arise, so we are not caught 'on the hop' and in a reckless moment say something which compromises our working alliance with the directee. (p. 57)

(My philosophy for a long time has been to learn to live with the questions. Sometime, very long ago, I came upon this Rainer Maria Rilke at the end of this post.)

Creation - 'God's other book' …directee speak of moments of connection with God through a natural object which symbolizes some aspect of their lives and their relationship with God. Part of the work of spiritual direction is to help people explore such incidents and observations within the context of their life experience and what is known about God's nature to see what might be learned for their own benefit and for others. (p.59)

The 'still small voice and 'inner promptings'

If we are expectant and still enough to hear the 'still, small voice' we may find ourselves being led by the Spirit of God working with our spirit. Dallas Willard puts it this way:

God comes to us precisely in and through our thoughts, perceptions and experiences, and can approach our conscious life only through them, for they are substance of our lives. We are, therefore, to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12.2). God's gracious incursion in our sol can make our thoughts his thoughts. He will help us learn to distinguish when the though is ours alone and when it is also his. (Quote from Hearing God, p. 93 - My personal favorite book on hearing God's voice - Willard is my hero)(p.60)

Dreams and visions

Other people

Hymn and song lyrics

Other elements of instinctual church life

An unexpected invitation or opportunity or financial provision

Directly through the senses

The creative arts - God can reach us through literature, film, music, drama, dance, painting, sculpture, etc. and through architecture such as cathedrals, bridges, building and the interplay of space and light. 

Silence - doing deep work in our spirit without words or analysis. We may not be able to name what is happening, but something is rearranged in our psyche and we are moved towards wholeness as we set aside our words and open ourselves as fully as we can to God. (p.60-61)

One way of 'testing' religious experience is by looking at its fruit. (p. 65)

Starting in the 1960s, British marine biologist Sir Alister Hardy began testing the hypothesis that people had an inbuilt religious potential or awareness, asking people a single question: 'Have you ever had a religious experience or felt a presence or power, whether you call it God or not, which is different from your everyday life?'. . . The eight categories of religious experience originally drawn up by Hardy are:

1. Synchronicity and the patterning of events
2.  The presence of God
3. A sense of prayers being answered
4. A presence not called God
5. A sacred presence in nature
6. Experiencing that 'all things are one'
7. The presence of the dead - …rather being aware of a person who has died, often in an unexpected brief moment of farewell or encouragement. Occasionally this will include an uninvited and unwelcome presence in a building or place. 
8. The presence of evil

Gerald May adds spiritual experience such as visions, intentional imagining, or gaining a sudden intellectual insight; extrasensory experiences such as seeing auras, classic Christian charismatic experiences which include healing, speaking in tongues and prophecy (p.66-67)

1987 Gallup Survey of 985 people in Britain reporting a spiritual or religious experience: 48%

2000 Repeat Survey in conjunction with BBC series Soul of Britain: 76% (attributed to "people's sense of the degree of social permission for such experiences) (p. 67)

Hardy's question or our version of it, can provide an entry point into spiritual conversations with people in every walk of life and may even be a catalyst for people moving toward a deeper connection with God. (p. 68)

Hay comments: "God the Holy Spirit communicates with all of Creation. From this perspective one might see the mission of the Church is to be alert to - and be in tune with  the ways in which God is already in touch with everybody, inside or outside the Church (Hay, The Spirituality of the Unchurched, p. 2 italics Pickering's) p. 69 

Jesus said to 'consider' (Matthew 6.28-33)i.e. 'take a long, loving look at the real'. (p. 71)

When we begin to explore those simple moments which attract our attention, we are building the bridge toward God. 

listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and the pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness, touch, taste, and smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace. (Beuchner, Listening to Your Life,  p. 2) (p. 72)

There is a great deal of difference between approaching discernment fearfully, trying hard to 'get it right,' and approaching discernment from a position of confident expectation that God wants our highest good. (p. 79)

'But, I believe the desire to please you does in fact please you.' (Merton, Thoughts on Solitude, p. 53) (p. 80) 

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”  Rainer Maria Hilke

Telling Your Story from the Last Three to Four Months

I have to do this in preparation for my 2nd Year Spiritual Direction Training next weekend, but I thought it would be fun to put it here. If you would like, I can give you a free Spiritual Direction session listening to and helping you reflect on it!

This is the assignment: 

We suggest you prepare for your sharing time by reflecting on, in an examen fashion, the last 4 months (May-September. Note: You can set the time frame, but roughly the summer.)

The point is to garner a picture of the opus Dei, the work of God in your life, and then to bring forward what seems important to offer.

You might consider looking at the list of questions below, sitting with these questions in quiet before the Lord, waiting for responses and insight. You can then sift through the “spiritual data” that emerges and determine what to share.

What spiritually significant events / insights have occurred during the last 3-4 months?

What events has God used as grist for the mill of transformation?

What, if anything, has changed in my context since I was last here?

How have I largely experienced God during this time?

What have I been praying about / for? Are there places I roost?

What has prayer been like, and how has God seemed to me?

What graces do I ask for?

What longings and desires do I notice? What disappointment or disillusionment?

In what ways have I experienced transformation, consolation, desolation?

Where have faith, hope and love been ignited ... or challenged?

What new question(s), if any, do I carry?

57. Holy Invitations: Exploring Spiritual Direction

I have read numerous books on spiritual direction and each has at least one quote from this excellent book. This is a thorough look at this lovely practice that I have been a recipient of and practiced. (I probably did it for 30 years without knowing I was doing it.)

I love her style and the topics that she covers in-depth. The training program that I was going to join in both 2008 and 2012 (but didn't have peace and discovered that God had other plans both times) had this as its primary text, and the director of that program, Sister Joan, swears by it (I have seen it marked up and dog-eared on her bookshelf). I knew it was one that I would read eventually. Since I was done with all my required readings for my "Protestant" certification in Spiritual Direction, I plunged right in. I wish it were part of our reading for certification because I think it is the best one that I have read, and some of the ones that we have read are a little too "ethereal" and not very practical. This one is practical and solid. 

Although it took me forever to get to and a long time to finish once I started, it was well worth the wait. I might read it with other spiritual directors when doing continuing education. It is that good. 

2023 Update:

I am so glad that I blog my reactions to things! There is one book that most direction programs have in it, and I reread it for a Spiritual Direction Training that I am helping with, and I couldn't remember if I liked this one better or not. I DEFINITELY LIKE THIS ONE BETTER, but I needed to remember. Yes, that "other" one is very ethereal and not super practical. I don't know why it is so popular in most programs. This one wins! 

23. Spiritual Direction: A Practical Introduction

I think this book is my favorite over any that we read last year, or it is tied with Seeking God Together which was also lovely. This book is so full of resources and examples through dialogues between director and directee. It is great.

I am more convinced than ever that certification in spiritual direction is the right course of action for me. This book excites me with simple chapters like:

Listening to God
Responding to God
Listening and Responding to Ourselves
Listen and Responding to Others

It was lovely. I will definitely use it as a resource in the future.