Friday, September 30, 2022

The Well Update - The Well-Watered Soul

The Well Update Continued

Well-Watered Soul

This is one area I can say is great! I have such beautiful rhythms built into my life these days. 

I water my soul in the mornings through Lectio Divina in the Psalms and just praying through them and journaling about what phrases hit me. I decided to go through them in The Passion Translation, and that has been really delightful for me. 

Then I have been doing my rolling and stretching while I listen to Pray as You Go and/or Lectio365. I have a whole group of exercises that the doctor gave me on Monday and some more that Jennifer, PT gave me on Wednesday, so I have loved doing this rolling and stretching more meditatively.

 (Sometimes that leads me to a routine of Pilates right afterward or a long training walk for the Camino where I often intercede for those he lays on my heart - since I am not able to walk right now, it is more Pilates and core work.) 

Then it is spiritual direction sessions either with individuals or in small groups (which I find watering to my soul). I love preparing for these. 

I also work on curriculum development for different things. They are all related to spiritual direction and Enneagram with Ignatian spirituality. Even though I am "working," these are always nourishing for my soul too!

I take a midday break for Silent Prayer with either the nuns in East Mosely outside of London or with Jo and the OMS/Seed Community on Mondays and Wednesdays. Sometimes I lead these too. 

Afternoons vary considerably. I am having more and more sessions with directees in the afternoon (at some point, I need to limit the number, but people leave, and others come to fill their spots, so it works out to be about 2-3 sessions a day Monday-Thursday with a maximum of 1 on Fridays (and sometimes none like today, woohoo!)

I do tend to crash by about 3 pm (because I get up so early) and usually read or watch the news or a show I have recorded from the night before. I am currently enjoying Survivor and the Amazing Race

Evenings vary too. Sunday evenings are often with our Seed Community group. We also have people over for dinner, and I need to get back to doing that more often since George is home now and COVID is over! I also watch something. George and I are having "inside dates" and watching an Anthony Trollope period piece right now. I am not excessive though. I feel like the minute it dries my soul up and becomes desolating, I turn it off and have some evening prayer

I want to water my soul more right before bed, but I always fall asleep during the night Examen. So, I mostly pray through the Examen in the mornings and sometimes midday with the OMS!

Another thing for me to water my soul has been more "Welcoming Prayer" It is Silent/Centering Prayer in the midst of a life. It also overlaps with STOP from the Spiritual Rhythms for the Enneagram by Loughrige and Calhoun. I am a Motions of the Soul Enneagram Educator and Practitioner, and I really love this practice:

  • SEE – Stop and ask God to give you the eyes to see from His perspective 
  • TRIGGERS – Where did I leave my true self behind?
    • Whom does God say that I am? What is my “true self” identity? 
  • PRESENCE – Intentionally Live into God’s Presence
Not only does it parallel Welcoming Prayer, but it also goes along with the Immunity to Change and One Big Thing concept in the 2 HC. Each personality type has different questions to ask yourself within each category. 

I have loved the inner work God has been doing in me through it!
  • [1] This is added to the original STOP material and comes from the book Living Fearless: Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God by Jamie Winship. 

The Well Update - The Well-Adjusted Heart

I have not done a freewrite for a while now, and so much has happened.

State of the Well Report (I used to do these all the time, but it has been years)


Hmm. How is my heart? My blog heading says, "One woman's journey to wellness through a well-adjusted heart." Hmm. How is it? Let me feel the feelings. In the last day, I had my heart moved by a directee who learned about her strong instinctual variant toward the social, and she was so enthusiastic to learn all about it and wanted to gather spiritual directors to have me do a training on it (like I do for the Bollers 2-3 times a year for their spiritual directors in training). I was just excited to have her grasp the material and be so enthusiastic about it. She is such a sweetheart, and that warms my heart.

My heart hurt because of the interaction with the person organizing our trip on the Camino. I think she is 1) new, 2) not totally fluent in English, and 3) not the best communicator. But the good news: I did not go into any sort of anger mode with her, and I calmly dealt with her for the last nine days. So, I am sad that she did not lay out all our options right away because it ended up costing more money in the long run, and that was a little disappointing. But I think God is telling me to let go of it and just move on. I think she feels bad about it, and I don't think she understands how poorly she communicated through the whole thing. Not sure I would recommend this company to handle our logistics again too.

I feel a bit afraid: 1) my knee will not be ready to go 71 miles for 5 days in 20 days. My PT thinks it will be great, and the swelling has gone down, and I am thankful this did not happen WHILE I was walking on the Camino. So I am glad that my training brought this out 4 weeks before instead of in the middle of walking. I had already peaked with my training and was going to taper anyway. So I am thankful and afraid at the same time. 

2) That I will be overwhelmed with the number of people going. I have already decided that I cannot focus on that many people so have to be selective. It is the fault of the Type Two to think I have to be involved with everyone, and that is not possible with that many people. So I am focusing, and I know that we will have Elizabeth to spend time with afterward when we go to Belfast. 

3) That airlines will charge us extra for baggage even though I reserved airlines that said we could bring a carry-on. So that is somewhat disconcerting for me. I know they contract out and things get lost in the translation (and refunds don't happen - as Delta Airlines has recently proven.)

So that last one I realize I am still ANGRY at Delta for the way we were handled in April. 

I feel joyful about going on the Camino though, and I have loved the inward journey journaling that I have done. It will be a good trip. I know it.

I feel peaceful when I think about the spiritual journey I am on.

I feel uncertain about whether I should say yes to a small group of leaders in my church. I think I am a perfect fit to lead it, but do I have the capacity even if I postpone it until January?

There is a lot of emotion there. I will say that overall, the things I am leading, both in individual spiritual direction and in the small groups I facilitate (Silent Prayer, OMS, Renovare, 2HC), are all bringing me much joy. But can I add another one to the mix? OMS will stop, and I will replace that with the Deepen III, but can I do the leaders from my group. 

I have prayed for all of this for years. Now the fires are set, and there is a glorious blaze developing that does not seem to be blowing out. The vision you gave me is coming true! So that excites me and scares me all in the same breath!

Here is the picture you gave me of that:

Well, that was 20 minutes. So I will do another freewrite tomorrow about my other things: 

"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well" (The Little Prince by de Saint-Exupéry). One woman's journey to wellness through a well-adjusted heart, well-watered soul, well-educated mind, and well-tuned body. "Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, and with all your SOUL, and with all your MIND, and with all your STRENGTH" (Mark 12:30-31).

Friday, September 16, 2022

The Road to Santiago: Inner Preparation Questions


A majority of those setting out on the Camino de Santiago give a religious or spiritual reason for going, yet few appear to undertake any conscious inner preparation for the journey. It is so easy to allow the demands of our life to rob us of time for such preparation. We take our tired bodies and neglected souls and dump them at the start of the Camino and trust that all will be well. And, of course, all will be well and our physical and spiritual muscles will become rejuvenated – it’s just that warm-up exercises can speed our rate of recovery and maximize the benefits. A pilgrim travels on two paths simultaneously and must pay attention to both. When we place ourselves on the pilgrim path we sow the intention to stretch and expand soul consciousness so that we can lift ourselves out of the mundane in order to journey back to God…the Source from whence we came.

  • ·        Why are you doing the Camino?
  • ·        How do you differentiate pilgrimage from a long-distance walk?
  • ·        How do you define spirituality – what does it mean to you?
  • ·        How is your spirituality expressed at home and work?
  • ·        What do you see as the primary purpose of your life?
  • ·        Are you working consciously towards fulfilling that purpose?
  • ·        How clear are you on your goal and the right direction for you at this time?
  • ·        How will you recognize resistance to any changes that might be necessary?
  • ·        When did you first become aware of a desire to take a time-out?
  • ·        What prompted you originally to go on the Camino?
  • ·        Did the prompt come from something that you felt needed changing?
  • ·        Make a list of what appears to be blocking any change from happening.
  • ·        What help might you need on a practical, emotional, and spiritual level?
  • ·        How will you recognize the right help or correct answer?
  • ·        What are the joys and challenges in working towards your unique potential?
  • ·        What are your next steps towards fulfilling that potential?

How aware are you of the following? Score yourself on a level of 1-10 and compare these scores again on your return from the Camino.

  • ·        Awareness of your inner spiritual world
  • ·        Clarity on what inspires you and the capacity to live your passion
  • ·        Confidence to follow your intuitive sense of the right direction
  • ·        Ability to recognize your resistance and patterns of defense
  • ·        Ease with asking for and receiving support from others

[1] A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago: A Practical & Mystical Manual for the Modern Day Pilgrim by Jon Brierley, p. 36, 38. (Text changed to American spelling.)

Monday, September 12, 2022

Noticing Examen Freewrite

Frank Concluding Kubb by
Knocking Down the King!

Deep breath - God be with me. I ask for your light to see my day through your eyes.

Two or three things I am grateful for:

  • Finishing the Cycle of Grace recordings for Eric
  • Recording one for me too!
  • BBQ with George's colleagues with a walk by Cathi and Jerry's!
Where did you accept God's invitation to be loving, grateful, and be your true self! Where did you turn away from this? Where was God in your day?

Morning - 
A long and loving look at God meditating deeply in Psalm 27. Sabbath prayer with Lectio365. Meditation in Pray As You Go. Silent/Centering prayer with Mercy Center with Catherine coming back to lead. I noticed God in the easy of finishing up the Cycle of Grace, and how much joy it gave me. 

Middle of the Day
I kept working on the Cycle of Grace and went straight to recording. I missed my Corvallis Centering Prayer meeting, but I was "on a roll"! I recorded the first one for 11 minutes, the second for 22 (so much material to cover that is so foundational), and 11 minutes for the conclusion. 

Started my Challah bread while the recording was converting and so enjoyed it. 

Recorded one for myself that had more of my personality and details. It was an HOUR! LOL!
I figured I might as well record one for me since I had make-up on already. 

We played Kubb (a Swedish game - see photos above). I was hesitant at first, but I ended up enjoying it and might even buy a set!

We took a walk after dinner. My back was starting to bother me, and I tried to get contact with George to switch seats. I didn't want it to go out by sitting so long at a chair with no back. Then they suggested the walk, and I was so happy. Then I was happier when I noticed we were right behind Cathi and Jerry's house, and I got to talk to Cathi! So fun.

I watch a bit of a movie by Diane Keaton (Baby Boom), but I started falling asleep.

A little frustrated with George that he didn't notice my discomfort. He gets in "other people mode" and often doesn't check in with me. But I told him how often I was trying to get his attention. It was healthy. I just went and got a chair with a back from the dining room and fixed the issue. 


One thing that was especially meaningful:

I think feeling the freedom to have a bit of my personality in the recordings and letting go of pleasing Eric. If it is not the way he wants it, I can record them after the Camino, but I don't want to crowd my head with anything between now and then. It was meaningful to review my breakdown. What a teacher that was. Thank you, Lord, for the breakdown. LOL! I really am so grateful for it because it is a story to tell others! 

Look forward to the day to come
Love on Manar and lead Silent Prayer. Talk with Debbie at Deepen.

I pray for the grace to see you in the next day.

(This is from listening to a Podcast by Father James Martin.) 

Tuesday Ten Minute Freewrite

I am going to go great guns for 10 minutes on this freewrite. I am meeting with a person (not sure if she wants direction - she just wanted ...