Friday, March 25, 2022

Friday Fifteen Freewrite Continued

Isn't this picture just GORGEOUS? Love the trees in my neighborhood.

After a busy morning with spiritual direction appointments at 5:45 am and 8 am with 30 minutes of peeking in with the Ignatian Spirituality Center Glasgow weekly Zoom meditation, I am free the rest of Friday. 

The first order of business was to set a date with my Sweetheart George. When I do a weekly Examen, that is always at the top of my list of life-giving things is time with him and time with the family. It is pretty nice that one's immediate family is the most life-giving. That is important! I also scheduled a time to walk with my best friend in town, Kim. That is always life-giving for me too because she gets me, and it is an MBR kind of relationship (Mutually Beneficial Relationship). 

That was the topic for the month in the 2nd Half Collaborative: Collaborations! I guess that is in the name, and it is good for me to evaluate this. 

I think it coincides with me realizing that I am a Social Type Two on the Enneagram, and since I am teaching on the Enneagram (halfway through with my last talk at 7:30 am tomorrow morning), I realize that my social instinct, which is instinctually more collaborative than the other two instincts of self-preservation and sexual, has me in somewhat of a pickle because I collided in all my worlds realizing that I have too MANY collaborative pots. I needed to cut back. So I did cut back (and that is part of what I processed on my 43 year anniversary retreat, see my freewrite below on March 1), but I agonize because I LIKE everyone! That is always my problem. I liked people in the Renovare Institute and knew that it would maybe cut off collaborations in the future with them. 

So evaluating whether March has been that REPENT, REST, RESTORE that I heard at the end of February. Hmmm. 

I am cutting and pasting that part of the post:

REST and RESTORE - I plan a Day of Prayer on the anniversary of my surrendering everything to him on March 17, 1979. I cannot believe that was 43 years ago! I plan an overnighter somewhere. 

Yes in dee dee. That is what I did. I was able to book a SUITE in one of the houses behind the Queen of Angels Monastery for $60! It was so perfect from beginning to end. I made a crucial decision to pull out of one of the collaborative spiritual formation groups I belonged to ten minutes before my retreat started, and God confirmed over and over again that I made a good decision! I am glad I made it before I went into it because that burden was lifted. Sometimes you just KNOW! I was ALL IN with this group until I wasn't. It was so clear that I wasn't to continue, but I think we will meet up at a later date when they can utilize my skills and experience as a spiritual director! Until then, I have other dreams I have been postponing. And this picture says it for me:


Oh, I also met with Sister Joan, and that was very life-giving for me. The week before that, I met with Cammie, and that was good. So good. 

I also have so many fewer "duties" other than... 

1) OMS Cohort leading - fun for me
This is a really good group of women. I told Andrew I have a pilot "Contemplative Cohort," and this is it even though it is also for preparing to take the vows in the Order for the Mustard Seed. It is what I was born for! I had this idea in the shower to invite Anne to gather two other people for a monthly dive in all of this having How to Pray as the spine. Maybe?

2) Breath Prayer Blog Post - fun for me
That was surprisingly wonderful and easy to write. I am due for another one coming up. I think I will write about prayer walking since that is what our OMS Cohort will be doing in April. 

3) Submitting my grades on March 10. Then I am free until May 2nd other than putting up the Spring term Canvas course and some university classes (more time at the computer) required for my job by April 1. - not fun for me
I gutted out the OSU-required courses. They were easy, and I learned some things, but it is unpaid time (about three hours) that I just don't want to do anymore. 

My students really liked my class. I am happy about that. I had wondered if people would sign up for my Spring term one and didn't want to commit myself to a new syllabus (points for 15 days instead of 20 days) and Canvas course if that was the case. I looked two days ago, and it is FULL and two non-credit students on top of that. So, I published it and am definitely teaching for a month! Then I will be done. 

4) Preparing to lead to classes on the Enneagram Instinctual Variants for two cohorts of Spiritual Directors - fun for me
It still continues to be really fun for me. The Bollers are the bomb, and I enjoy doing this even though it always makes Spring Break NOT a break, but since I have a longer break, I hope to take much of next week off! I have one more time to teach it, and I made some nice changes: I do the repeating exercises in the midst of each instinctual variant followed by an Examen of thankfulness for that instinct in their lives. Sandy said that went really well. So, they don't go away to do it by themselves, and they stay for a half-hour afterward to ask questions. It worked well, and I will do it tomorrow for the second time and be done. 

5) Finishing up my Supervision course for Spiritual Directors (March 22 is the last day) - life-giving! I love to learn.
Wow! So enriching. Lucy Abbott Tucker knows her stuff, and she gave me the confidence to say I can now supervise other spiritual directors. I was in a group of three for three weeks in a row, and I did it the last time, and it was so great. I am done and so enriched by the experience! 

6) Breaking up my Exercises for Everyone book into sections for a new directee who wants to go through the Spiritual Exercise - so fun for me. 
Surprisingly easy for me to do. I have another person inquiring about doing a ten-week version, and I offered this option to her. She was going to let me know. I like having an off-ramp for my directees since 32 weeks is a big commitment. 10 weeks is much easier. My current directee will evaluate in 8 weeks! 

I think it did involve elements of rest and restoration. 


Freewrite Friday

I have been writing my morning pages every morning since December 31st. That means I don't write on here as much, but I miss it in some ways. I do like my Morning Pages though. I really do. So, I have an extra hour because of the time change.

I just met with a person from another country. She had some decisions to make in two instances, and I was able to introduce some Ignatian discernment principles of "Imagining yourself for a day having made one decision, and then imagine yourself on another day with the other decision." Then she can observe her feelings. I think in both decisions, she made a wise choice! Sometimes, people just need to verbalize their predicament without pressure. 

Speaking of pressure. I think I have felt some pressure lately. I don't think it is because anyone is pressuring me. I just feel it in myself when people ask me innocent questions, but they don't know that many others are waiting to hear from me. My life is in a "when it rains it pours" situation, and I know that I am anxious because I eat when I am anxious. So I am paying attention to my feelings in this one, and I have to understand that no one is pressuring me to do this or that. I just pressure myself to respond to people. 

I better get going. A little of a freewrite is better than none! 

(No proofreading of this just sending!)

Tuesday, March 01, 2022

FREEWRITE: REPENT, REST, and RESTORE in MARCH

Photo by Bich Tran from Pexels

I added the REPENT part of the title of this Freewrite. Mainly because it is Ash Wednesday tomorrow, and I am reading and meditating on the Scriptures in A Lenten Journey with Bill O'Byrne. It just seemed like the right group to join for this Lent. Pray as You Go, Lectio365, and Ignatian Spirituality Center in Glasgow all have Lenten devotionals. This one was calling my name. I meet with a group every Saturday morning for two hours to reflect on everything. Bill is such a nice person that I thought it would be lovely.

I had a weekly Examen with Andy from OMS and 16 other people (mostly new candidates to the order), and one of the questions we were to ask God was:

What are you inviting me to in the future? 

I felt God saying REST and RECOVERY from FULL FEBRUARY. 

It really was a very FULL February with two things hanging over my head (well really three):

1) Reservations for our trip to another part of the world for a huge prayer gathering.

2) Speaking on Breath Prayer at my church for two services - one short message of 3-5 minutes is always more difficult for me to formulate than an hour-long talk. How do you convey something really important in about 200 words? 

3) COVID students - making sure they got all their makeup work in by last Friday (and correcting all the Extra Credit that was also due last Friday). So much more paperwork and time at the computer because of COVID. COVID aside, it has increasingly been more and more hours of work sitting at the computer. So it is time for me to leave since my goal was to get paid to exercise. The extra time at the computer is canceling out what benefit I receive from exercising. I can exercise on my own or with my own class here and spend no time at the computer! 

REST and RESTORE - I plan a Day of Prayer on the anniversary of my surrendering everything to him on March 17, 1979. I cannot believe that was 43 years ago! I plan an overnighter somewhere. 

I also have so many fewer "duties" other than 
1) OMS Cohort leading - fun for me
2) Breath Prayer Blog Post - fun for me
3) Submitting my grades on March 10. Then I am free until May 2nd other than putting up the Spring term Canvas course and some university classes (more time at the computer) required for my job by April 1. - not fun for me
4) Preparing to lead to classes on the Enneagram Instinctual Variants for two cohorts of Spiritual Directors - fun for me
5) Finishing up my Supervision course for Spiritual Directors (March 22 is the last day) - life-giving! I love to learn.
6) Breaking up my Exercises for Everyone book into sections for a new directee who wants to go through the Spiritual Exercise - so fun for me. 

Perfect. I have 36 seconds to go on my 15 minutes Freewrite. 

TTFN! 

Tuesday Ten Minute Freewrite

I am going to go great guns for 10 minutes on this freewrite. I am meeting with a person (not sure if she wants direction - she just wanted ...