Fifteen minutes counting down . . .
What a morning! Started off with waking up after a full night of sleep. I fell asleep at maybe 8:30 and slept until 5:30. That is really long for me, but I had a short night the night before, and my body always evens out to 6 hours in the end.
For such a time as this (stream of consciousness here). That is what keeps ringing through my head.
The prophetic word over us about two or three months ago with a map of this country put at our feet. The person saw the outline of a map in their listening to God. He went to an atlas to see what the country was. It was the country in turmoil right now.
He traced it on paper. We thought, "How nice." We do have friends there. We love those people. Nothing is open there. We know another language and hope to go to another country or two that speak that one.
But now, "for such a time as this." That is the country put at our feet. That is the country that gets my priority prayer. The people there in general. The friends there in particular.
Yet, there is such peace. I think I can attribute that only to God. There has been urgency and there has been a tremendous amount of time and effort expended, but I would give even more. It is not about my effort. It is about God. I heard "For my greater glory" at another prayer time (three weeks ago?). I know it is for that. Whether our friends live or die, it is for God's greater glory. We can rest in that.
I had the mother of a soldier feeling horrible that her efforts on our behalf ended with utter heartbreak. People turned away at the gate. Not her failure. Not God's failure. It is just what will happen "For the greater glory." That's it.
It has been so good to STOP every day and have silent prayer time. Sometimes two times a day, but always that mid-day one. Stop and center and still myself before the Lord without words. Gazing at his glory. Peace. Presence. He is there. He sees it all. He really is real.
So this morning after some time with God, I had a 6 am meeting. I spoke the truth. I was being a loving (2), visionary (5), revolutionary (8). I had to speak it to the head of the whole thing who oversees 1600 people. Then this Type Two shrinks back. Was I too overbearing? Will he think I was mad? UGH. That is more what I struggle with this morning than the people in the country that is in chaos. When things are out of my hands, I am usually pretty willing to not try to take them into my own. But when it is something I said or relational things. I struggle more.
I am growing there. To tap into the healthy side of Type 8, I must take risks of relational disconnection. Not that I am "wrong" in being outspoken, but they might choose to disconnect with me as a result. That is death to the unhealthy side of Type Two. I need to resist. I know in my heart I was not mad. I know in my heart that my passion can sometimes be misconstrued as anger (I was angry last week about this whole mess in the country. So I know when I am mad.), but that is not my issue. I think I did well. George thinks I did well too because he overheard me being assertive. He loves me when I am assertive. :) He likes my healthy side of Type 8, but he is a very healthy person. I think the person I was speaking to is healthy too though. So I think we are good.
So I have been in my HEART triad for hours. I was immobilized in my HEART. So this writing is me breaking into my HEAD. Logically putting it all down on paper. (Also taping into my writing Type 4.) So next step will be a walk to the labyrinth to get into my BODY triad Type 8. I think I am going to be OK. I think I am going to fly. I think that my friends in that country, whether they live or die, will glorify God in all they say and do. While I would like to see a picture of them on a plane or crossing a border to safety rather than getting pictures of the bad guys celebrating in the streets, I trust in Your mighty hand.