Monday, June 22, 2026

Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith

I read this three years ago. You can read my review HERE. I had considered putting it in my curriculum then, and this reading was for the training that starts in September. I think it is going to be a great fit!

It was different to read it from the perspective of leading a discussion with directors in training.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis

Poor Eustace! This is such a great story of transformation.

It was read by Derek Jacobi.

Prince Caspian

More joy rereading this great series. I am listening to each book read by incredible British actors. This one was read by Lynn Redgrave. She is amazing!

King of Kings - The Iranian Revolution: A Story of Hubris, Delusion, and Catastrophic Miscalculation

Wow! I learned so much from this book. I had it on hold BEFORE the US started bombing Iran. By the time I go it, the conflict had started, and this book was a hot commodity.

I was in college when the "King of Kings" fell. This book gave me context for the fall.

This book makes Carter and his administration look like fools. Everyone was asleep to what was brewing.

I will say that there is a review on Goodreads by an Iranian woman, Helga Martiros, who is very critical of the book:

Did Not Finish
October 8, 2025
I'm going to regret this review, but here goes:
I am furious at this book and can’t go on reading it. It’s a DNF after reading approximately 200 pages.
This book may be interesting for a non-Iranian, but for me who was born and raised in Iran and knows the events and their 'when and why and who and where', this book was not ‘it’!

First off, when writing about a historical event, do some research about the country, her history, culture, customs and psychology of the people of the country you're writing about.

For example, you should know that in Iran we have had arbitrary rule for ages. Meaning, from the start, in Persia there had been kings and those kings had been revered and obeyed like gods. The Shah wasn’t even comparable to your Carter. You are comparing a president with a king? Really?
He was the king with certain duties and very specific understanding of how to behave as a king, inheriting what he had been taught. Meaning, when someone was in his presence, that someone should be standing until invited to be seated.
The same goes for every royal country. There are etiquettes to be observed.
I’m sure you couldn’t just barge in the Oval Office and high-five Trump and sit your ass down without leave? So, the criticisms directed at Shah about his behavior is uncalled for. By the way, just so you know, Shah was an extremely introvert person, hence his not mingling. Jesus Christ!

Secondly, that’s Shahbanu Farah to you, not just Farah, like you’re talking about a pet puppy. And, you are still at it, criticizing her for caring for her country?? She does charity work and your tone implies that she’s doing it for show? Shah crowns her as Queen, not because of his arrogance, but because he wants her to be an example for the downtrodden women of Iran, to show them that 'yes, they can too! Iran had never seen a woman become a queen until then. The wives of the kings used to be confined in the harems. But I digress...

Thirdly, don’t rely on some minister’s diary entries. You are basing your opinion of Shah and what went on behind closed doors using a third person’s perspective who for all we know wrote a bunch of lies in his diary to suit his narrative. And at the same time you are bashing the Queen’s own memoir, telling us without shame that she lied or exaggerated?

Right at the beginning you ask us ‘why didn’t the US support Shah and prevent his downfall. Well if you don’t know why, then you have no business writing a 700 page book.
But I will tell you why your country and your revered Carter didn’t back Shah. It was because Shah didn’t want to give free oil and concessions to other countries anymore. Shah was striving to become independent. That's why. He had to go, so another puppet regime would do whatever your country demanded.
And Shah went, because if he stayed, there would have been bloodshed and he didn’t want that.
You portray Shah as some kind of a ninny who didn’t know shit. Shah knew shit, the only thing he did wrong was trusting the wrong people. He was a dreamer, a patriot and an idealist and those traits cost him his country.

An excerpt to show what kind of a history book this is. Notice the “In all likelihood… probably…just as probable…” ?

"In all likelihood, that morning’s meeting of the two men followed the same general pattern as the hundreds that had preceded it. The shah had probably been reading from one of the stacks of papers on his desk with his oversized, black-rimmed bifocals when Alam entered. It’s just as probable that he neither spoke nor looked up as his minister approached, but instead absently raised his right hand from the desk to let it hover in the air. Drawing up at the shah’s side, Alam would have executed a deep bow, then taken the proffered hand and, while kissing it, whispered a prayer for the continued health and safety of the man known as the King of Kings, Light of the Aryans, Shadow of God on Earth. This incantation complete, Alam would have then rounded the desk, careful not to show his back to the monarch while doing so, to stand on its opposite side. Because their meeting that April morning was scheduled to be brief, perhaps a mere twenty minutes, the court minister probably remained standing for the duration."

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

Here is my review from ten years ago.

My oldest son is rereading these, and we relived a memory of our kids hearing Narnia for the first time as kids. It inspired me to reread the whole series this summer.

The part that stood out to me was the reactions of the four children when they heard about Aslan for the first time. Here is a summary:

When the children first hear the name Aslan in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, they do not yet know who he is, but the mere mention of his name instantly evokes strong, distinct feelings in each of them LitCharts.
According to the text, the Beaver says, “They say Aslan is on the move—perhaps has already landed.” At that moment, each child feels something “jump in its inside” — a sudden, powerful sensation LitCharts. Specifically:

Edmund feels a sensation of mysterious horror — a mix of fear and unease, possibly because he is already suspicious of the White Witch and wary of danger eNotes.com+1.

Peter feels suddenly brave and adventurous — his reaction shows courage and a readiness to face whatever comes next eNotes.com+1.

Susan feels as if some delicious smell or delightful strain of music had just floated by her — a sense of beauty, delight, and something pleasant and uplifting eNotes.com+1.

Lucy gets the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of summer — a sense of warmth, hope, and the joy of a new, better time eNotes.com+1.

These reactions show that Aslan’s name carries deep symbolic weight — it can inspire fear, courage, beauty, and hope — even before the children understand his identity or role. Lewis uses these contrasting responses to hint at the complex nature of Aslan: a powerful, good king whose presence can stir both awe and apprehension in those who hear his name.

How do you feel when you hear the name of Jesus?

Do You Love Me? Exploring Our Relationships with God and Others

This is one of the books in my Life with God leader training with Grafted Life. The Scripture is foundational for understanding the relational nature of God. I would love to see it be more experiential with God rather than a lot of teaching.

The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages

This was a follow up of my Escaping Enemy Mode book. Now, we are going to have a four-week study of it with our friends. It is about applying brain science to your marriage!

At the Master's Feet

This is my second read to prepare for discussing it with my book club.

HERE is my first review.

Escaping Enemy Mode

I took a class with the author of this book from . I learned SO MUCH! Our brains go into : simple, stupid, and intelligent mode. I see it all the time. It was so good to be aware of when I might go into it, and it helped me learn how to get out of it.

I highly recommend it!

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

I read this to preview for my church. It is backed by a ton of research, and he is a very good writer. It is based on the Relational Attachment Model

Relationship Attachment Model (RAM): The RAM is a framework to evaluate relationships across five dimensions: knowing, trusting, relying, committing, and sexual involvement. Each dimension is represented as a slider, and healthy relationships maintain a balance where emotional and physical intimacy develops gradually, preventing premature attachment or over investment.

My church is going to have a group based on the book. It doesn't talk about Attachment to God though. That, in my humble opinion, is an important part to teach in a church setting.

I liked it.

HERE is a great summary of the book.

A Harmony of the Gospels

I have read through this several times. This time I read through it as I was going through the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius.

HERE is my first review.

Sacred Companions:

This is my third time reading this. It still remains one of my favorite books on the subject of Spiritual Direction. This time, I read through it as a solo trainer of directors. I created a questions for my syllabus based on this reading.

Here is my first review.

Friday, June 19, 2026

Friday Freewrite Fifteen on The Spiritual Exercises

I am setting my timer for a fifteen-minute freewrite. I think it has been over a month since I did a Friday freewrite. So, I am due.

This month has been rich. A month ago, I had finished up all my groups who went through the . That was rich. I learned a lot, and one of the things I learned that it is better if I put together the groups. The group I put together was the one that jelled the best was the one where no one knew each other. Go figure. I think when someone else asks a person to come to this group with this stranger, there is an attachment that doesn't happen to the leader. I don't know. I also think that four of the people over two of the groups were just not ready to take the Exercises, and when other things got in the way, it was not a priority, and the Exercises really need to be a priority. Two of them were just not used to any kind of deep meditation in scripture, and the other two were just doing it because they wanted to spend time with the person who invited them. Other things were more important like podcasts and books by famous Christian authors. It is hard for many people to just sit with God and listen to what he says to them.

So, I don't fault them for not being ready, but I really want people who are 100% ready to plunge into this deeply. It is a different way of looking at Scripture and if you are just looking at these familiar passages in the way you have always done, it will seem boring to have the same stories again. (And Ignatius had so many times where you REPEAT things!)

So this next year, I have four eager and lovely people. It was neat to hear how God drew each of them. One was off the recommendation of her sister-in-law who was one of the people who was wholeheartedly in it this year. Another was off the recommendation of her husband who is a coworker of mine in the training and supervising of spiritual directors. Another is one who I trained as a director when I interned with Marty and Sandy Boller (Shout out to this couple from The Contemplative Activist who train directors with an Internal Family Systems flavor.) and went through a shorter form of the Exercises called the (10 weeks with ). The last person is someone who was at a convent telling someone how she really wanted to learn about being a , and the person (was it a nun?) said, "Well, you know that that part of the Spiritual Exercises?" This woman had heard of them, but she didn't know much about them other than she knew I did them with people. I have been supervising her as she has trained to become a with Deepen-Sent Well. So, she knew God wanted her to be involved.

I also asked dear C, who was one of the first (maybe the first) people I led through the (I had led someone through the 18th earlier that year, but it was greatly modified because this person had not spent time with God in 18 years, but it was a requirement for them for their spiritual direction training - I know, not spent time with God for 18 years, and they were going to become a director? It was an amazing TRANSFORMATION for her though. So, I am so glad I did it with her and learned so much by leading people through it who are even reluctant and resistant, but I digress.)

So, it will be one group of four people in the 19th, and C and I will lead. That's it (since I am starting a School of Spiritual Direction and need to not overwhelm myself with the Spiritual Exercises like last year - I might even have C lead the group through them the next year since it is a requirement for people in my school to do, at least, the 18th Annotation). C will be so excellent to intern with me. Some of the times, I will have us break up into two groups of two so we can go deeper with people. I think that will be so good for C and for me.

In a way, I wish I could have an intern for the group I will be training in direction next year. If that sixth spot does not get filled, I might just ask T. She is so ready to start training directors. She is the bomb.

I love how I have these great.

Oh, there goes my timer. BYE BYE!

Wednesday, June 03, 2026

Meditation in the Morning from Psalm 3

Psalm 3

https://insighttimer.com/thesoulcoach/guided-meditations/psalm-3-a-lectio-divina

1 O Beloved, how numerous are my fears!

They rise up within me 2 whispering

there is no help for you.

Pause in his presence

3 Yet You, O Beloved, radiate Love

around me, my glory; (The implication is that God shields us by taking us to himself)

gratitude becomes my song, ("You lift my head" acquittal when judged, freed from prison of shame)

4 When I cry out to You,

You answer within my heart.

Pause in his presence

5 I lie down to sleep; if I should

awaken, my Beloved is there

holding me with strength

and tenderness.

I feel secure.

6 Now, I shall forgive all illusions

that my ego tries to build.

For my courage is in You, O Love,

You who are the Lover hidden

in every heart.

7 Rise up, Love! Set me free!

for through your guidance,

my fears will fade into love.

8 Free from fear, I will know

the Oneness of Being that

encompasses Everything!

I shall be free to serve Love

with a glad and open heart.

Pause in his presence

What are your fears? Nan C. Merrill makes the point of equaling enemies/adversaries with fears. I notice she did it in Psalm 23 (You prepare a table before me in the presence of all my fears) too. This has touched my heart deeply this morning, and I cannot step away from this.

I love the line, "Now, I shall forgive all illusions that my ego tries to build/For my courage is in You, O Love/You are the Lover hidden in every heart."

Perfect love castes out all fear.

"Free from fear, I will know the Oneness of Being that encompasses Everything!"

You are the lover - the "secret sauce" as Ray W. would say. Thank you, LORD. "Gratitude has become my song" this morning."

Aslan is on the move.

Friday, May 22, 2026

FRIDAY FREEWRITE FIFTEEN

pen·sive

[ˈpen(t)siv]

engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought:
"a pensive mood"
Similar:

Here we go. It is time for my FRIDAY FREEWRITE! WOHOOO! I already freewrote 750 words this morning, but I went for a walk and the word I am going to explore in this freewrite is the one above: PENSIVE.

It is SO where I am at right now, right here on this day in May 2026. Oh, my goodness, I think this was my last day with the Women Becoming group on this week 20 years ago! Was that really and truly 20 year ago!?

Anyway, I am pensive. I am so pensive. I am thoughtful and reflective. I got "stood up" yesterday, and I waited from 1:30-4:00 pm for someone, and they finally said they fell asleep. But I waited for 3 1/2 hours. I asked at 1:30, "Aren't we getting together?" And there was no answer. Silence on the other end of the line.

This morning, I responded to the reschedule that this afternoon, Friday, would not work. I also gave a polite but direct, "Hey, it was not very considerate of you to not let me know we were not getting together. My time is valuable" kind of message. It wasn't like I didn't do other things in the meantime, but I kept wondering. I kept other things that I could have done on hold because of this.

Of course, the gentle note was received well. I don't think it was shame producing. It was a heads-up for the person. It was a good interaction, but then it left me PENSIVE. I could focus on listening to the Narnia book I was listening to.

It was good for me to process all the emotions that come with the word PENSIVE.

We are going through a major life transition in the next week. George got his Ph.D. 30 years ago this October, and he worked for 30 years in his field (really longer because he worked for nine years, 1987-1996 between his master's and his Ph.D. finish in the same field being paid a full-time salary while he was let off time to do his Ph.D. studies. So gracious of Scott, his major professor.)

I came into the picture in 1987-1988 and didn't start dating George until 1989, but I have been there through all of it, and he even dedicated his thesis to me.

So, his retiring is also my retiring. It isn't going to be as big an adjustment for me as for him, but it is still going to be an adjustment.

So, it is OK to be pensive in the midst of all that uncertainty of the future. He has taken care of all the financial stuff, and we sign up for Medicare Part B for me in 2 1/2 hours. So there are all these adjustments to everything right now.

I don't fear change, but I can certainly be PENSIVE about it! It is weird to think George is old enough to retire. What? I am so amazed.

Life is so short, and I am so happy that we have had this life together, and we have been so incredibly happy and content in our relationship. Securely attached. That is a gift that many do not have.

So, here's to change and transition and allowing myself to be pensive in the midst of it.

Now on to curriculum development for my Spiritual Direction Training! I am excited about that more than you would ever know. So much God keeps telling me. It is going to be great.

So, now I have 15 seconds, and now I have 8. Now I have NONE!!!!

I have to write now. then I will add the PENSIVE definition later.

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Has It Really Been a Month Since My Last Freewrite? Church Dysfunction Edition

So, I am setting my timer for 15 minutes of a .

I freewrite every single day on now. It was good to write here for all those years, but I also love the privacy of Penzu. I am able to express more of my raw emotions. Although, I did express a lot of raw emotions here for many years, and sometimes I would have people say, "Are you sure you want to say that?" Others came to me and said, "I read your blog, and it helped me work out my own pain of a church difficulty." I was pretty raw about that . What is so amazing it that that church transition was 20 years ago on the Friday of ! WOW! What a great fly away to freedom! I celebrate it every year! It was one of the best decisions we have ever made. All the dysfunctional leadership of that time is long gone, and all is forgiven. (They were "precious but confused" as my friend, Miranda, would say.) and I think that former church is a lot better now.

So, I didn't realize that Memorial Day Weekend marks that. Although I celebrate the FREEDOM on June 16 every year because George still had obligations there after we had decided to leave. Even though I had left, and we had visited our present church, (much healthier), on Memorial Day Weekend. He still had to endure a few more weeks. But he loved this group of kids that he was leading, and he loved the leadership in the 4-5th grade class. So, it wasn't hard for him to go and serve there. Those people that led there were the best.

Actually, there were such pockets of health there, and that is why we stayed so long. But when the top leadership (and elders) are really unhealthy, it is not a good place to be, and me training leaders there for that final year helped me to see that I could not stay there any longer! Now that I have read more about things like this and what motivates people in ministry, I am not surprised at the dysfunction.

So, here I sit in a much better place. I know that my present church is not perfect, but it is much healthier. I am happy there even though most of my ministry is outside of the walls of the church. They are very good at supporting that.

Ok, I am so glad I didn't go for a walk. It is POURING down rain. WOW! I heard it start at 3 am, but it is a torrential downpour now!

So today on my plate:

7 am Fran spiritual direction

8:30 D mid-year training evaluation and supervision of one of her .

1:30 B for a session.

That's it!

Sunday, April 12, 2026

From the Penzu "Time Capsule" July 11, 2025

I got an email this morning about reading from my Penzu (online private journal) entry: July 11, 2025. It was a significant one. So I will post most of it here.

Yesterday, I set the timer for forty minutes, and I typed exactly 1000 words. So, that is what I am going to do today...1000 words.

Yesterday, I typed into Copilot (Microsoft's version of ChatGPT): a 150-word statement of what I am called to be, and this was the result:

I am called to be a vessel of God’s presence—anchored in love, shaped by grace, and led by the quiet voice of the Spirit. I am called to live with intention and depth, cultivating a life that listens more than it speaks, that seeks communion over control. My calling is to embody the contemplative path: to be still enough to hear God’s heartbeat and bold enough to act from that sacred center. I am called to create spaces where others feel seen, known, and invited into deeper relationship—with God, with themselves, and with one another. Through leadership rooted in vulnerability and faithfulness, I am called to nurture spiritual community, to walk alongside others as they awaken to their belovedness and purpose. I am called to be a bridge between silence and service, prayer and presence—leaving behind not just accomplishments, but a legacy of love that echoes into generations.

How did it know to type that without me putting in clues of what I feel called to? Does it know what I have typed in my Word Processor? Does it find my blog and scan it instantly? Does it listen in on my conversations?

That's freaky to me, but those 150 words are spot on? I am shocked!

I do want to be a "vessel of God's presence"! I want people to encounter God in spiritual direction sessions. I think they do. I desire to give them my brand of spiritual direction. There are no rules for direction. It needs to be spirit-led!

"Anchored in love, shaped by grace, and led by the quiet voice of the Spirit" - Didn't I just say above spirit-led? I want people I do direction with to know that they are loved. I can honestly say that I have loved each of my directees. There have been a couple who have been difficult for me, but what drove me to work with them for so many sessions was a deep love to see them FREE. They were both in the "idealist" triad...One was a ONE on the Enneagram and so bound, but we had a SWEET breakthrough...The other was an Idealist Type Four... (leaving out the rest of that journal entry for confidentiality reasons) ...

I'm on my "Sanctuary Deck" outside...I love hearing all the birds squawking! It is a cacophony of praise to welcome another day from God.

Oh, back to the 150 words:

"I am called to live with intention and depth, cultivating a life that listens more than it speaks, that seeks communion over control."

I was just on a walk yesterday saying that I was not "driven" but "intentional," and even in my most unhealthy times, I wouldn't say I was driven because I am too relational to be "driven," but I am very intentional. I love being intentional in everything I do! I love "depth" with God, with learning, with others. I do try to cultivate listening more than speaking...

And what about Deepen II, Lord? Would you make it abundantly clear that I am to go in the next day or so? I would be ever so grateful to have a confirmation!

(Background: I had said NO in March, but the director came back in July and asked again. I ended up saying, "Yes," and I am so glad I did, I LOVE and ADORE my small group. I would not have met them had I not done it. It is a BIG COMMITMENT that I am halfway through as of this Friday. The orientation started on October 10th and will end around then when I turn in all my evaluations, etc. I'm glad I did it. I really am. That training contained my biggest consolations of 2025 and also my biggest desolations! Also, parenthetically, I reached the halfway point of my commitment to Deepen II on Friday. How cool is that to see this past post. SO GLAD I DID IT!)

I am off! Bye for today!

Friday, March 27, 2026

The Body and Soul Companion School of Spiritual Direction Coming Soon!

Announcing the
Body & Soul Companion
School of Spiritual Direction

A Letter of Invitation

Dear friends,

Over the years, I have had the privilege of walking alongside many who long to listen more deeply—to God, to their own hearts, and to the stories of others. Again and again, I’ve witnessed how sacred it is when someone discovers that they are held, heard, and gently accompanied. Out of this long‑growing desire to nurture such spaces, I am delighted to announce the launch of the Body & Soul Companion School of Spiritual Direction, beginning this fall.

This school is designed for those who sense a call to the ministry of spiritual companionship—whether in formal ministry, community leadership, or simply as a way of being present in the world. Rooted in the richness of Ignatian spirituality and shaped by practices of contemplative listening, discernment, and compassionate presence, the program offers:

A two‑year formation journey (September-May)
Every other month gatherings for teaching, practice, and reflection
A supportive cohort community
Guidance in developing the skills and inner posture of a spiritual director
Opportunities for supervised practicum in spiritual direction

My hope is to create a space where participants can grow in wisdom, tenderness, and clarity—where the Spirit’s gentle invitations can be noticed and responded to with freedom and joy.

If you feel a stirring toward this kind of ministry, or if someone in your life comes to mind as you read this, I would love to talk with you. I am happy to answer questions or help you discern whether this path is right for you.

May this new endeavor become a place of deep listening, courageous honesty, and holy companionship.

With gratitude and anticipation,
Carol

Take a look at the details of the two-year training at my website under "Blog":
https://bodyandsoulcompanion.com/