Friday, July 17, 2026

The Guy You Loved to Hate

I never watched this guy on the show that made him famous (the name of that show escapes me right now), but I was intrigued as I saw him interviewed on a podcast when he was running for mayor of Los Angelas. I grew up 13 miles south of where he grew up. So, I was interested in his life story. I found it fascinating!

You Better Believe I'm Gonna Talk About It

This was interesting for me. I remember her from Dancing with the Stars from many years ago. I had never heard of her, and I remember her sort of rubbing me the wrong way. She has her truth. She sticks to it even though it can be pretty misguided being that she lives in the Hollywood bubble. I found it entertaining.

The Last Battle

Copilot comes to the rescue again. I will say that I was so much more attuned to what was happening in the Narnia books spiritually this time, but I didn't jot all of them down. I am relying on Copilot. It knows I am a spiritual director. So, it tailors the answers to that.

Here are the most spiritually rich, direction-ready quotes from The Last Battle, drawn from authoritative sources and curated for contemplative use. These are the passages that speak most deeply to themes of homecoming, courage, discernment, longing, and the nature of true reality.

🌿 Homecoming, Heaven, and the “Real Country”

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here… Come further up, come further in!”
A jubilant declaration of ultimate belonging and spiritual arrival. [^1]
Why it matters: Ideal for exploring desire, eschatological hope, and the soul’s orientation toward its true home.
“All their life in this world… had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story… which goes on forever… and every chapter is better than the one before.”
A vision of eternity as unfolding intimacy and joy. [^1]
Why it matters: Helps directees reframe endings, grief, and transition as thresholds into deeper reality.

🦁 Trust, Courage, and Divine Holding

“But courage, child: we are all between the paws of the true Aslan.”
A tender assurance of divine protection and presence. [^1]
Why it matters: Beautiful for sessions involving fear, uncertainty, or surrender.
“The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.”
A metaphor for death as awakening. [^1]
Why it matters: Supports conversations about mortality, hope, and spiritual awakening.

🔥 Discernment, Deception, and Inner Freedom

“They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their minds… so afraid of being taken in that they cannot be taken out.”
A piercing insight into self-made spiritual prisons. [^1]
Why it matters: Useful for exploring resistance, mistrust, and the ways fear constricts spiritual openness.
“He is not a tame lion.”
A reminder of divine wildness and sovereignty. [^2]
Why it matters: Helps directees examine expectations of God, control, and the mystery of divine action.

🌱 Seeking, Desire, and the Nature of True Devotion

“Beloved… unless thy desire had been for me thou wouldst not have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek.”
Emeth’s encounter with Aslan. [^1]
Why it matters: A profound text for exploring desire, vocation, and the sincerity of the seeker’s heart.
“My happiness is so great that it even weakens me like a wound… that he called me Beloved.”
Emeth’s astonishment at divine acceptance. [^1]
Why it matters: Supports conversations about grace, identity, and being seen by God.

🧭 Justice, Surrender, and Holy Fear

“How should we know what he would do? We, who are murderers… Do you think I care if Aslan dooms me to death? That would be nothing… Would it not be better to be dead than to have this horrible fear that Aslan has come and is not like the Aslan we have believed in?”
Tirian’s anguished honesty. [^3]
Why it matters: A raw text for exploring guilt, repentance, and the fear of divine abandonment.

✨ If you’d like next

I can shape these into a printable reflection sheet, curate quotes by spiritual theme (grief, hope, discernment, calling), or create guided journaling prompts for use with directees.

References (3)

[^1]: The Last Battle Quotes by C.S. Lewis. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1059917-the-last-battle

[^2]: Best Quotes Of The Last Battle With Page Numbers By C.S. Lewis. https://www.bookey.app/book/the-last-battle/quote

[^3]: Last Battle Quotes (4 quotes). https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/last-battle

The Magician's Nephew

More Narnia. I reviewed it ten years ago HERE.

Here are some quotes that are significant from my Copilot search:

🌿 Awakening, Identity & Divine Invitation

“Awake. Love. Think. Speak. Be walking trees. Be talking beasts. Be divine waters.”
A summons into consciousness and vocation — an invitation to live awake and aligned with one’s created nature. [^1]
“A voice had begun to sing… the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.”
Creation as music: a reminder that beauty can be a doorway into the sacred. [^1]

🦁 Compassion, Grief & Divine Nearness

“My son, my son… I know. Grief is great.”
Aslan’s tears reveal a God who does not bypass suffering but enters it with us. [^1]

🌱 Freedom, Stewardship & Sacred Responsibility

“Creatures, I give you yourselves… I give you the stars and I give you myself.”
A profound statement of gifted identity, autonomy, and responsibility — ideal for exploring agency and calling. [^2]

🔥 Temptation, Moral Clarity & Inner Posture

“Oh, Adam’s sons, how cleverly you defend yourselves against all that might do you good!”
A piercing observation about resistance to grace and self-protection. [^1]
“No great wisdom can be reached without sacrifice.”
A reminder that transformation has a cost — helpful in discernment conversations. [^3]
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing… and what sort of person you are.”
A contemplative insight into perception, bias, and spiritual posture. [^1]

🧭 Choice, Desire & the Inner Life

“Make your choice, adventurous Stranger… Strike the bell and bide the danger.”
A poetic framing of temptation, curiosity, and the cost of choices. [^1]

References (3)

[^1]: The Magician’s Nephew Quotes by C.S. Lewis. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1031537-the-magician-s-nephew

[^2]: The Magician's Nephew Quotes - eNotes.com. https://www.enotes.com/topics/magicians-nephew/quotes

[^3]: Best Quotes Of The Magician's Nephew With Page Numbers By C.S. Lewis. https://www.bookey.app/book/the-magician's-nephew/quote

The Horse and His Boy

More Narnia! I zoomed through this while in the C.S. Lewis room at the Hotel Sylvia (I think I read three Narnia books there!)

Here is a picture of me reading on our patio. I have a similar picture from 15-20 years ago on the patio of the room right next to it. I cannot find it though, but I might just go and look for it and do a comparison.

Loved this little Narnia side story!

Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage

I read this because I saw Oprah interview her, and then I was on vacation with a woman who had read it and said, "This is what happened in my marriage!" I did see one podcaster rip it to shreds because she is this rich woman who is crying a river about the break up of her marriage, but heartbreak has no net worth attached to it.

I found it very compelling. I couldn't put it down.

Cradled in the Arms of Compassion: A Spiritual Journey from Trauma to Recovery

Read May 10-July 17

I am a fast reader, but this one was so painful to get through. It is the father of (I took a seminar from him a few months). I bought this thinking that it was his book about that subject only to discover that it is his in-depth journal from the trauma of sexual abuse to recovery. It is raw and emotional, and there was times where I felt physically ill reading it. That is why it took so long to get through it.

It is a worthwhile read to understand what those who go through childhood sexual abuse endure. I wanted to slap his mother. Even when she "realized" that what she had done was wrong (duh!), she was so self-centered! I admire this man for continuing to even be in the same room with her.

I was most touched by his time at the .

This book is NOT for everyone. I was sexually abused, but it was a one-time incident (with mind games played on me for year since he was a neighbor across the street for my whole childhood), and I had the boundaries to know that I needed to steer clear of him from then on out (although he was constantly coming over to our house and visiting with my dad who had no idea of what he had done because I never knew to tell him). There was enough damage from that encounter. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for this author.

The book has very strong language. It is very graphic.

I did love that part of his healing came from doing the as this is what I have facilitated every year with individuals and groups since 2019. I think that the Exercises were really significant in my continued healing. Once I got to that part of the book, I knew there was a reason why I mistakenly bought it.

This was a LOONG book. I am glad I finally finished it.

The Silver Chair

is my favorite character in all of . In The Silver Chair, Puddleglum the confronts the , who has enchanted the heroes to make them doubt the existence of Narnia, the sun, and . After breaking the spell by stamping on the fire, Puddleglum limps back and delivers his iconic speech:

"One word, Ma'am," he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one more thing to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things—trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say."

I loved reading it this time because I was at the Hotel Sylvia in the C.S. Lewis Room when I read it!

Wednesday, July 15, 2026

The Genesis of Relationship

You can see the previous post where I talk about the Life with God series with Grafted Life. This is the first book and starts out in Genesis. The whole purpose is to get people to think relationally about God. It is about life with God.

It is written by recovering evangelicals who have been raised in the church and didn't really clue in about the relationship piece and life with God. They went to a spiritual formation program in seminary, and their eyes were opened. So this is written to be a bridge to understanding for people who have been raised this way.

I often feel like a fish out of water because I was not raised in the church. When I went through the training, I was in the minority as they talked of their upbringing. There were a couple of us, but I always know that I am different, and it is a cross-cultural experience for me.

So with that, it is a bridge study with podcast sermons to accompany each lesson (until you get to Book 5: Daily Abiding with Jesus and a deep dive into the book of John). They have taken out the contemplative language, and I am assuming this is because words like lectio divina and imaginative contemplation would be unsavory for your mainline evangelical. I get that. That is what the Navigators did with me. They taught me a lot of this stuff, but they wouldn't call it by the Catholic name 30+ years ago.

I feel like this can fit in a church. I am not necessarily called to the churched person. So, I am not sure I would use this. People apply to go through The Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius, and that is where I am called.

I do think this study is biblically very sound and a good bridge. I also think if you had your whole church go through it, it would establish a DNA with everyone that would lead to better relationships. I would love to interview people who established it in their church. I do know a pastor who did. He was trained to be a spiritual director when I was an intern trainer. So I might talk to him.

Life with God: A Journey of Relationship - Training and Resources

This is the training manual for the Life with God series put out by Grafted Life. It was a five-week training. I might introduce this to our discipleship pastor. I am not sure I would lead a group since I am pretty locked in a love leading Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life groups. It is interesting that many of the Scriptures in this series overlap with the Scriptures in the Exercises. It starts out with God's love, and that is how Ignatius starts out. This training manual gives a lot of suggestions for how to lead a small group. If you have never done that, it would be really helpful for people. This is a picture of the book, but you cannot order the book from a retailer and have to order it through a leader who has been trained to lead this series.

Friday, July 03, 2026

Friday Freewrite Fifteen

I am setting it for fifteen, and here I go. I love Fridays. I decided not to teach on this day, and I do mostly paperwork and tie up loose ends. Today, I need to clean up my Type Four Enneagram materials and send it to my directee. I need to read more of Spiritual Direction: A Practical Introduction by Pickering so I can get it ready for Module 2 of the spiritual direction training. I need to put the finishing touches on my manual by adding my new Examen and discernment visual images to my manual and add about being able to do sticky notes for the Blessed History Timelines that the people in the new RAD SEEL will be going through this summer. I want to give them plenty of time to do that. They will refer to it as they go through the first weeks of the Exercises and then when they look at Sin Patterns (that sounds so bad, but it is really quite freeing in every way).

So those are the main things I want to do work-wise, but I also want to take a morning walk, clean up the house so that it is ready for our impromptu Fourth of July party and all that. I think it is just Katherine and John and our kids so far. So that will be great.

I also want to finish Narnia, and I have about 1 1/2 of reading listening. So I will do that after my freewrite.

I think today I will get back on the wagon of eating since tomorrow will be a treat day. Then, I will go from July 4th to our anniversary on July 21 with logging and eating in moderation. Then we start our vacation. I think that we will go away as a family. I think George forgot that that will be our vacation time as a family. So, I don't think he can go fishing with M and J. That's OK though.

I need to call the Trappist Monastery about going to them.

Oh, I will also go through the CRFs that are in the Student Participation folder. That will be really good.

I would like to have our last CRFs be the Grocery List of the directees. Noticing what gives you life in direction and what does not give you life. It will be really good.

I think that I need to hear from R in order to send everything out to the participants in the SEEL.

I have work to do, but it is not overwhelming in any way. I will listen to Narnia when I go on my walk. That will be great. Maybe I will even do Glen Eden today. I can do hills.

Oh, I also have to do the Pilates with the Magic Circle. I keep putting it off.

Oh, I also would like to finish the Life with God Lesson 5 assignments. I think this has added things to my plate. I think I will NOT take any continuing education or contract out my supervision services with anything that runs through the summer again. That would be really nice to not have ANYTHING extra. The Life with God training has not been a lot extra, but it is enough that I would like to be freer to go and do, especially since George is retired now.

I can feel the sun coming up and on my back. So I think I will go right after I am done with this freewrite. I am going to transfer it over to Penzu too. Maybe later I will write my review of The Last Battle in the Narnia series and also my review of the Life with God Resources manual later on today.

Oh, look at that, I have 1 minute left on my timer. I thought it has been about 15 minutes. I love it.

I'll finish up my second cuppa' and go out in the morning light. Such a beautiful day today. And it is great!

So, all I have is walk, read, write, and work. That is easy-peasy.

Oh, I might watch some basketball later on today too!

Monday, June 22, 2026

Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith

I read this three years ago. You can read my review HERE. I had considered putting it in my curriculum then, and this reading was for the training that starts in September. I think it is going to be a great fit!

It was different to read it from the perspective of leading a discussion with directors in training.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis

Poor Eustace! This is such a great story of transformation.

It was read by Derek Jacobi.

Prince Caspian

More joy rereading this great series. I am listening to each book read by incredible British actors. This one was read by Lynn Redgrave. She is amazing!

King of Kings - The Iranian Revolution: A Story of Hubris, Delusion, and Catastrophic Miscalculation

Wow! I learned so much from this book. I had it on hold BEFORE the US started bombing Iran. By the time I go it, the conflict had started, and this book was a hot commodity.

I was in college when the "King of Kings" fell. This book gave me context for the fall.

This book makes Carter and his administration look like fools. Everyone was asleep to what was brewing.

I will say that there is a review on Goodreads by an Iranian woman, Helga Martiros, who is very critical of the book:

Did Not Finish
October 8, 2025
I'm going to regret this review, but here goes:
I am furious at this book and can’t go on reading it. It’s a DNF after reading approximately 200 pages.
This book may be interesting for a non-Iranian, but for me who was born and raised in Iran and knows the events and their 'when and why and who and where', this book was not ‘it’!

First off, when writing about a historical event, do some research about the country, her history, culture, customs and psychology of the people of the country you're writing about.

For example, you should know that in Iran we have had arbitrary rule for ages. Meaning, from the start, in Persia there had been kings and those kings had been revered and obeyed like gods. The Shah wasn’t even comparable to your Carter. You are comparing a president with a king? Really?
He was the king with certain duties and very specific understanding of how to behave as a king, inheriting what he had been taught. Meaning, when someone was in his presence, that someone should be standing until invited to be seated.
The same goes for every royal country. There are etiquettes to be observed.
I’m sure you couldn’t just barge in the Oval Office and high-five Trump and sit your ass down without leave? So, the criticisms directed at Shah about his behavior is uncalled for. By the way, just so you know, Shah was an extremely introvert person, hence his not mingling. Jesus Christ!

Secondly, that’s Shahbanu Farah to you, not just Farah, like you’re talking about a pet puppy. And, you are still at it, criticizing her for caring for her country?? She does charity work and your tone implies that she’s doing it for show? Shah crowns her as Queen, not because of his arrogance, but because he wants her to be an example for the downtrodden women of Iran, to show them that 'yes, they can too! Iran had never seen a woman become a queen until then. The wives of the kings used to be confined in the harems. But I digress...

Thirdly, don’t rely on some minister’s diary entries. You are basing your opinion of Shah and what went on behind closed doors using a third person’s perspective who for all we know wrote a bunch of lies in his diary to suit his narrative. And at the same time you are bashing the Queen’s own memoir, telling us without shame that she lied or exaggerated?

Right at the beginning you ask us ‘why didn’t the US support Shah and prevent his downfall. Well if you don’t know why, then you have no business writing a 700 page book.
But I will tell you why your country and your revered Carter didn’t back Shah. It was because Shah didn’t want to give free oil and concessions to other countries anymore. Shah was striving to become independent. That's why. He had to go, so another puppet regime would do whatever your country demanded.
And Shah went, because if he stayed, there would have been bloodshed and he didn’t want that.
You portray Shah as some kind of a ninny who didn’t know shit. Shah knew shit, the only thing he did wrong was trusting the wrong people. He was a dreamer, a patriot and an idealist and those traits cost him his country.

An excerpt to show what kind of a history book this is. Notice the “In all likelihood… probably…just as probable…” ?

"In all likelihood, that morning’s meeting of the two men followed the same general pattern as the hundreds that had preceded it. The shah had probably been reading from one of the stacks of papers on his desk with his oversized, black-rimmed bifocals when Alam entered. It’s just as probable that he neither spoke nor looked up as his minister approached, but instead absently raised his right hand from the desk to let it hover in the air. Drawing up at the shah’s side, Alam would have executed a deep bow, then taken the proffered hand and, while kissing it, whispered a prayer for the continued health and safety of the man known as the King of Kings, Light of the Aryans, Shadow of God on Earth. This incantation complete, Alam would have then rounded the desk, careful not to show his back to the monarch while doing so, to stand on its opposite side. Because their meeting that April morning was scheduled to be brief, perhaps a mere twenty minutes, the court minister probably remained standing for the duration."

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

Here is my review from ten years ago.

My oldest son is rereading these, and we relived a memory of our kids hearing Narnia for the first time as kids. It inspired me to reread the whole series this summer.

The part that stood out to me was the reactions of the four children when they heard about Aslan for the first time. Here is a summary:

When the children first hear the name Aslan in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, they do not yet know who he is, but the mere mention of his name instantly evokes strong, distinct feelings in each of them LitCharts.
According to the text, the Beaver says, “They say Aslan is on the move—perhaps has already landed.” At that moment, each child feels something “jump in its inside” — a sudden, powerful sensation LitCharts. Specifically:

Edmund feels a sensation of mysterious horror — a mix of fear and unease, possibly because he is already suspicious of the White Witch and wary of danger eNotes.com+1.

Peter feels suddenly brave and adventurous — his reaction shows courage and a readiness to face whatever comes next eNotes.com+1.

Susan feels as if some delicious smell or delightful strain of music had just floated by her — a sense of beauty, delight, and something pleasant and uplifting eNotes.com+1.

Lucy gets the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of summer — a sense of warmth, hope, and the joy of a new, better time eNotes.com+1.

These reactions show that Aslan’s name carries deep symbolic weight — it can inspire fear, courage, beauty, and hope — even before the children understand his identity or role. Lewis uses these contrasting responses to hint at the complex nature of Aslan: a powerful, good king whose presence can stir both awe and apprehension in those who hear his name.

How do you feel when you hear the name of Jesus?

Weeks after reading this, we went to the C.S. Lewis room at the Hotel Sylvia. Here are some pictures from the room that go along with this particular book in the series:

Do You Love Me? Exploring Our Relationships with God and Others

This is one of the books in my Life with God leader training with Grafted Life. The Scripture is foundational for understanding the relational nature of God. I would love to see it be more experiential with God rather than a lot of teaching.

The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages

This was a follow up of my Escaping Enemy Mode book. Now, we are going to have a four-week study of it with our friends. It is about applying brain science to your marriage!

At the Master's Feet

This is my second read to prepare for discussing it with my book club.

HERE is my first review.

Escaping Enemy Mode

Read April 9-May 10

I took a class with the author of this book from . I learned SO MUCH! Our brains go into : simple, stupid, and intelligent mode. I see it all the time. It was so good to be aware of when I might go into it, and it helped me learn how to get out of it.

I highly recommend it!

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

Read May 6-10

I read this to preview for my church. It is backed by a ton of research, and he is a very good writer. It is based on the Relational Attachment Model

Relationship Attachment Model (RAM): The RAM is a framework to evaluate relationships across five dimensions: knowing, trusting, relying, committing, and sexual involvement. Each dimension is represented as a slider, and healthy relationships maintain a balance where emotional and physical intimacy develops gradually, preventing premature attachment or over investment.

My church is going to have a group based on the book. It doesn't talk about Attachment to God though. That, in my humble opinion, is an important part to teach in a church setting.

I liked it.

HERE is a great summary of the book.

A Harmony of the Gospels

January 24-May 6

I have read through this four times since 2016 (at least that is what I have recorded on Goodreads). This time I read through it as I was going through the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius. I hit the gospels starting in January. Ignatius focuses on key passages, and I reorganized his Exercises to have it be chronological. So I read along here and filled it in with the stories Ignatius leaves out. I always enjoy this. EVERY SINGLE TIME!

HERE is my first review.

Sacred Companions: The Gift of Spiritual Friendship & Direction

Read June 15-June 22 - Man I took a LOONG break in my reading!

This is my third time reading this. It still remains one of my favorite books on the subject of Spiritual Direction. This time, I read through it as a solo trainer of directors. I created a questions for my syllabus based on this reading.

Here is my first review.

Friday, June 19, 2026

Friday Freewrite Fifteen on The Spiritual Exercises

I am setting my timer for a fifteen-minute freewrite. I think it has been over a month since I did a Friday freewrite. So, I am due.

This month has been rich. A month ago, I had finished up all my groups who went through the . That was rich. I learned a lot, and one of the things I learned that it is better if I put together the groups. The group I put together was the one that jelled the best was the one where no one knew each other. Go figure. I think when someone else asks a person to come to this group with this stranger, there is an attachment that doesn't happen to the leader. I don't know. I also think that four of the people over two of the groups were just not ready to take the Exercises, and when other things got in the way, it was not a priority, and the Exercises really need to be a priority. Two of them were just not used to any kind of deep meditation in scripture, and the other two were just doing it because they wanted to spend time with the person who invited them. Other things were more important like podcasts and books by famous Christian authors. It is hard for many people to just sit with God and listen to what he says to them.

So, I don't fault them for not being ready, but I really want people who are 100% ready to plunge into this deeply. It is a different way of looking at Scripture and if you are just looking at these familiar passages in the way you have always done, it will seem boring to have the same stories again. (And Ignatius had so many times where you REPEAT things!)

So this next year, I have four eager and lovely people. It was neat to hear how God drew each of them. One was off the recommendation of her sister-in-law who was one of the people who was wholeheartedly in it this year. Another was off the recommendation of her husband who is a coworker of mine in the training and supervising of spiritual directors. Another is one who I trained as a director when I interned with Marty and Sandy Boller (Shout out to this couple from The Contemplative Activist who train directors with an Internal Family Systems flavor.) and went through a shorter form of the Exercises called the (10 weeks with ). The last person is someone who was at a convent telling someone how she really wanted to learn about being a , and the person (was it a nun?) said, "Well, you know that that part of the Spiritual Exercises?" This woman had heard of them, but she didn't know much about them other than she knew I did them with people. I have been supervising her as she has trained to become a with Deepen-Sent Well. So, she knew God wanted her to be involved.

I also asked dear C, who was one of the first (maybe the first) people I led through the (I had led someone through the 18th earlier that year, but it was greatly modified because this person had not spent time with God in 18 years, but it was a requirement for them for their spiritual direction training - I know, not spent time with God for 18 years, and they were going to become a director? It was an amazing TRANSFORMATION for her though. So, I am so glad I did it with her and learned so much by leading people through it who are even reluctant and resistant, but I digress.)

So, it will be one group of four people in the 19th, and C and I will lead. That's it (since I am starting a School of Spiritual Direction and need to not overwhelm myself with the Spiritual Exercises like last year - I might even have C lead the group through them the next year since it is a requirement for people in my school to do, at least, the 18th Annotation). C will be so excellent to intern with me. Some of the times, I will have us break up into two groups of two so we can go deeper with people. I think that will be so good for C and for me.

In a way, I wish I could have an intern for the group I will be training in direction next year. If that sixth spot does not get filled, I might just ask T. She is so ready to start training directors. She is the bomb.

I love how I have these great.

Oh, there goes my timer. BYE BYE!

Wednesday, June 03, 2026

Meditation in the Morning from Psalm 3

Psalm 3

https://insighttimer.com/thesoulcoach/guided-meditations/psalm-3-a-lectio-divina

1 O Beloved, how numerous are my fears!

They rise up within me 2 whispering

there is no help for you.

Pause in his presence

3 Yet You, O Beloved, radiate Love

around me, my glory; (The implication is that God shields us by taking us to himself)

gratitude becomes my song, ("You lift my head" acquittal when judged, freed from prison of shame)

4 When I cry out to You,

You answer within my heart.

Pause in his presence

5 I lie down to sleep; if I should

awaken, my Beloved is there

holding me with strength

and tenderness.

I feel secure.

6 Now, I shall forgive all illusions

that my ego tries to build.

For my courage is in You, O Love,

You who are the Lover hidden

in every heart.

7 Rise up, Love! Set me free!

for through your guidance,

my fears will fade into love.

8 Free from fear, I will know

the Oneness of Being that

encompasses Everything!

I shall be free to serve Love

with a glad and open heart.

Pause in his presence

What are your fears? Nan C. Merrill makes the point of equaling enemies/adversaries with fears. I notice she did it in Psalm 23 (You prepare a table before me in the presence of all my fears) too. This has touched my heart deeply this morning, and I cannot step away from this.

I love the line, "Now, I shall forgive all illusions that my ego tries to build/For my courage is in You, O Love/You are the Lover hidden in every heart."

Perfect love castes out all fear.

"Free from fear, I will know the Oneness of Being that encompasses Everything!"

You are the lover - the "secret sauce" as Ray W. would say. Thank you, LORD. "Gratitude has become my song" this morning."

Aslan is on the move.

Friday, May 22, 2026

FRIDAY FREEWRITE FIFTEEN

pen·sive

[ˈpen(t)siv]

engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought:
"a pensive mood"
Similar:

Here we go. It is time for my FRIDAY FREEWRITE! WOHOOO! I already freewrote 750 words this morning, but I went for a walk and the word I am going to explore in this freewrite is the one above: PENSIVE.

It is SO where I am at right now, right here on this day in May 2026. Oh, my goodness, I think this was my last day with the Women Becoming group on this week 20 years ago! Was that really and truly 20 year ago!?

Anyway, I am pensive. I am so pensive. I am thoughtful and reflective. I got "stood up" yesterday, and I waited from 1:30-4:00 pm for someone, and they finally said they fell asleep. But I waited for 3 1/2 hours. I asked at 1:30, "Aren't we getting together?" And there was no answer. Silence on the other end of the line.

This morning, I responded to the reschedule that this afternoon, Friday, would not work. I also gave a polite but direct, "Hey, it was not very considerate of you to not let me know we were not getting together. My time is valuable" kind of message. It wasn't like I didn't do other things in the meantime, but I kept wondering. I kept other things that I could have done on hold because of this.

Of course, the gentle note was received well. I don't think it was shame producing. It was a heads-up for the person. It was a good interaction, but then it left me PENSIVE. I could focus on listening to the Narnia book I was listening to.

It was good for me to process all the emotions that come with the word PENSIVE.

We are going through a major life transition in the next week. George got his Ph.D. 30 years ago this October, and he worked for 30 years in his field (really longer because he worked for nine years, 1987-1996 between his master's and his Ph.D. finish in the same field being paid a full-time salary while he was let off time to do his Ph.D. studies. So gracious of Scott, his major professor.)

I came into the picture in 1987-1988 and didn't start dating George until 1989, but I have been there through all of it, and he even dedicated his thesis to me.

So, his retiring is also my retiring. It isn't going to be as big an adjustment for me as for him, but it is still going to be an adjustment.

So, it is OK to be pensive in the midst of all that uncertainty of the future. He has taken care of all the financial stuff, and we sign up for Medicare Part B for me in 2 1/2 hours. So there are all these adjustments to everything right now.

I don't fear change, but I can certainly be PENSIVE about it! It is weird to think George is old enough to retire. What? I am so amazed.

Life is so short, and I am so happy that we have had this life together, and we have been so incredibly happy and content in our relationship. Securely attached. That is a gift that many do not have.

So, here's to change and transition and allowing myself to be pensive in the midst of it.

Now on to curriculum development for my Spiritual Direction Training! I am excited about that more than you would ever know. So much God keeps telling me. It is going to be great.

So, now I have 15 seconds, and now I have 8. Now I have NONE!!!!

I have to write now. then I will add the PENSIVE definition later.