The Principle and Foundation: Boundless Love

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Since I posted this, I typed out the script so people can follow along if they want to. 

Here is a link to download the document.

Here is the script:

Boundless Love

A Meditation on a Contemporary Translation by Andy Otto of God in All Things

INTRODUCTION

The Principle and Foundation is a cornerstone of Ignatian spirituality written by Saint Ignatius of Loyola as part of his Spiritual Exercises. It serves as a guiding light, illuminating our fundamental purpose in relation to God and creation. Ignatius saw the Principle and Foundation as a profound statement of our human existence. He believed that understanding our ultimate purpose: to praise, reverence, and serve God, provides the framework for all of life’s decisions and experiences. This foundational concept invites us to recognize God’s love as a source of our being and to orient our lives toward deepening our relationship with the Divine. I invite you now to rest in this loving source in the presence of God as we listen to a contemporary wording of the Principle and Foundation.

PRINCIPLE AND FOUNDATION

We are brought into existence by a God of boundless love with the ultimate purpose of sharing in eternal communion with this Divine source. Our lives are an opportunity to respond to this love, allowing it to flow through us and transform us.

Everything we encounter in this world, our experiences, relationships, talents, and challenges are potential pathways to deeper connection with God. These aspects of our lives can serve as bridges leading us to a more profound understanding of divine love and enabling us to express our love in return.

However, we must be discerning. When we cling too tightly to any created thing or experience, making it the center of our existence, we can inadvertently create barriers between ourselves and God, hindering our spiritual growth.

Therefore, we are called to cultivate a balanced approach to life, whether we face joy or sorrow, success or failure, abundance or scarcity, we are invited to see each circumstance as an opportunity for spiritual deepening. Our level of comfort, social status, or lifespan should not be our primary concern.

Instead, our fundamental desire and choice should be this: to align ourselves to whatever draws us into a more profound, life-giving relationship with God. This alignment becomes our compass, guiding us toward our true purpose and ultimate fulfillment.

PONDERINGS

We are brought into existence by a God of boundless love. Consider the vastness of the universe and the intricacy of your own being. In this context, what does it mean to you that you were personally created by a loving God? How might this shape your understanding of your life’s purpose?

Let us now consider life’s potential pathways to deeper connection with God. Think of a recent experience that brought you joy. How might this experience be inviting you into a deeper relationship with God?

Now, consider a recent challenge. What might this difficulty be teaching you about God’s presence in your life?

We often hear the phrase: God is love. Reflect on the idea that our lives are an opportunity to respond to this love, allowing it to flow through us and transform us. What areas of your life feel most transformed by God's love, and where do you feel resistance to this transformative love?

We are cautioned against clinging too tightly to any created thing or experience. Examine your heart. What do you hold most dear? How much do you honor and appreciate this while still maintaining God as the center of your life? What would it look like to loosen your grip on this aspect of your life?

Consider the invitation to cultivate a balanced approach to life. Reflect on a recent decision you made: large or small. How might this decision have been different if your primary goal was to draw into a more profound life-giving relationship with God? What would it mean for you to use this as your compass in daily life?

Now speak with God about anything that is rising up in your heart.

PRAYER

Boundless and loving creator we stand of your infinite love that brought us into being. Open our eyes to see the pathways to you in all our experiences. Grant us the wisdom to hold life's gifts with open hands, and the courage to align our choices with your divine invitation.

May each moment draw us into deeper communion with you, transforming us and flowing through us to touch the world.

In gratitude and love, we offer ourselves to you.

SONG

In the silence of the dawn

I contemplate what I was born for

To love, to serve, to find my way

Back to the one who formed me from clay

 

In your presence I am whole

Your love the anchor of my soul

All creation sings your praise

Guide me Lord through all my days

 

Riches, honor, length of days

Are but shadows in your gaze

Sickness, health, or poverty

Your love remains my treasuring

 

In your presence I am whole

Your love the anchor of my soul

All creation sings your praise

Guide me Lord through all my days

 

41. The First Spiritual Exercises

 

The First Spiritual Exercises: Four Guided Retreats by Michael Hansen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I prayed through the four 22 day retreats in this book from May-September. I did the first one, "Inner Peace in Darkness and Light," with a group of 10 people. The way it was led was a bit "clunky" for me. So I decided not to continue to the next one and do the other three on my own. (I was also doing Finding Christ in the World with a group and didn't need two groups over the summer.)

I liked this, but the guidance overall was a bit too restrictive for me ("spend this many minutes on this and that many minutes on that"). Also, what I thought was going to be a great meditation on Creation (which is part of the larger Exercises) turned out to be the author pushing the theory of evolution that was more of a distraction to what could have been a really lovely retreat week. I don't think that needs to be pushed and one can just enjoy the beauty of the Biblical creation story whatever he or she believes.

I think my favorite retreat was the first one: "Inner Peace in Divine Love." Sadly, my group leader didn't start with the first one, and I think she missed out on a better experience for those people who had never experienced the Exercises in their entirety.

Where this book shines is in the Guides and Helps. There are different kinds of Examens (Awareness, Particular, Reconciliation, Healing), and guides to enhancing the Exercises, Twelve Ways of Prayer, and Christian Belief. There is also a section on Spiritual Conversation that was good.

So I will use this as a reference book when I direct others through the Exercises and offer the first retreat to someone who wants a 22-day "taste" of the Spiritual Exercises.

I found my favorite of the four retreats on the website for The First Exercises at: 

https://www.fsecloud.life/i-remember-...

View all my reviews

FINDING CHRIST IN THE WORLD WEEK 10 - LIVING ALWAYS IN COMMUNION

 PRAYER TALK

We cannot grow closer to God our Lord in prayer without that closeness affecting our everyday life...Can you imagine Romeo in love with Juliet and then going about his life as though she didn't exist? ... we cannot go about our lives as though God did not exist...So, consolation: When things are going well, we acknowledge God's goodness and thank Him. We are aware that we believe in Jesus Christ and hope to remain faithful to Him...Then, desolation: When everything turns dark, we don't claim to be "depressed." "Desolation" is about me and god, and finally about me and those I love and who love me. Depression might need medicating. Desolation needs something else...When I am desolate, I first ask what I've done or not done. 

SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIP AND COMPANIONSHIP

The spiritual life is not a solitary journey...It's a pilgrimage, a common trip to a common goal... and we need fellow pilgrims. 

Jesus' resurrection is the beginning of God's new project not to snatch people away from earth to heaven but to colonize earth with the life of heaven. - N.T. Wright

Lord, I would like more local friends in the faith. 

BRIEF NOTE: GENEROUSLY GIVE WHAT?

Lord, I accept the gifts the Holy Spirit has given me and do feel generous enough to "put them at the service of others." 

For the Son of Man came to seek out and save the lost (Lk 19:10). I would like to do a study with S!

Use the special gifts you have given me for Your glory, Lord. Those are: Encouragement, leadership, shepherding, evangelism, discernment, and wisdom. I am generous with my time, heart, devotion. 

Jesus invited himself to the home of a person of peace. "Today salvation has come to this house."

BRIEF NOTE: WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF GOD

You will understand this as you grasp maturely that, created in the image of a Triune God, we are fully persona only in our relationships...We mature in membership (as "the people of God") as we grow aware of the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, giving us a deep dignity and fiery freedom...You have been praying these weeks for a heart open to the truth that the Church's mission is to be the salt and light of the world (Matt. 5:13). Keep clear that this is the destiny set for you; it is not what you decided for yourself. Your destiny is the same as that of all those who are taken into communion by Christ.

I wrote: Fiery Freedom: It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1). It was also in connection with the legalistic leadership of the retreat last week. 

KEEPING IN MIND: Review the relationships you live in - close family, wider family, your groups - and think about re-collecting or smoothing out where needed. And deepen them all. 

The blind man had to yell and keep yelling. That was a good word about persistence. 

Blind Bartimaeus - What do you want me to do for you? 

Where I am blind - In how to navigate our political divisions (as evidenced by the retreat last week and how politics came into play with the leader).

"What do you want me to do for you? (Mark 10:46-52)

1) Heal my back. It was great at the retreat, but it went out again when I got home. 

2) Partner with a media person for my multimedia idea for the next generation.

3) Have an in-person group of friends to do the Spiritual Exercises with. 

Being the People of God can be unwieldy and I must ... navigate vastly different political perspectives. 

I need to SHOUT for healing (it has gotten 100% better since yesterday). 

TOUCHSTONES for Week 10

• Humankind's new destiny as Christ's Mystical Body begins in Jesus's risen human life.
• Jesus' human experience sets the divine tone for human experience after Him; that's why we imitate Him.
• Consolation means we are living faith and hope and love well, however we feel.
• Desolation means we are troubled in our believing, hoping little and not loving much at all -- even when we think we are feeling all right.
• Desolation is most commonly connected with sinful living and taking our eyes off the God who loves us.
• Our koinonia or communion calls on and enables each disciple's special gifts and graces.
• Christ takes us into Himself, making us His Mystical Body in Holy Communion. 

FINDING CHRIST IN THE WORLD: WEEK NINE: THROUGH DEATH TO GLORY

I am not going to break my underlines/notes into so many separate sentences this time. I will just have general page headings.

INTRODUCTION

We are Jesus' brothers and sisters..."In the fullness of time," the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity came into our flesh...Jesus defeated death..."For anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation; the old order is gone and the new being is there to see" (2 Cor. 5:18)...We come to this new being by a supernatural gift, a grace that enables us to do what our humanity cannot do by itself: survive death...everything begins, matures, gets old, and dies...we know more than that...we were meant from the beginning to live forever...we grasp that as He died, so we die, too...Partners in life and partners in death -- and in resurrection..."God is faithful - reliable, trustworthy, and [therefore] ever true to His promise, and He can be depended on; by Him, you were called into companionship and participation with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord (1 Cor. 1:9 AMP). COMPANIONSHIP AND PARTICIPATION.

PRAYER TALK: PRAYING ABOUT JESUS' PASSION

Pay close attention to the human...His actions, what He says and what He refuses to say, how He relates to friend and enemy - to try to fathom what this perfect holy man willingly went through...One mark of His humanness is Jesus' quaking fear of what was going to happen...we keep trusting the Father utterly and absolutely -- because the Creator loves and trusts us utterly and absolutely...He knew that the Father wanted HIm to keep loving. He trusted the Father's love, "Not my will, but yours be done."...You're in the middle of a mystery here, but believe that no matter what human disorder inflicts on you, God's love is steady. Jesu believed that when He said, "your will be done." ...Jesu remained loving - and brave - when they arrested him. "let these go."..He had the power to make all that go away...we are joined to Jesus Christ and our experiences are already bringing - by God's power and grace - the Reign of Christ.

WEEK NINE: I beg to feel sorrow with Jesus in His suffering and to know how it matters to me.

DAY ONE

BRIEF NOTES: CALLED BY NAME

He saw light. Then he saw a face he knew well and felt great joy...You'll hear your name and you'll see light and in that light, you will see Jesus Christ, your Savior. And with Him, all the other saints and angels. 

Jn 11:1-44 Raising of Lazarus

He whom you love is ill. this does not lead to death. It is for God's glory... But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him...I am the resurrection and the life...Do you believe this?... Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world...Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?... Father, I thank you for having heard me...When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus come out!... Unbind him, and let him go.

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: "I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him." I thank you for having heard me.

God had one Son on earth without sin, but not a single one without suffering. St. Augustine

DAY TWO

BRIEF NOTES: THE WHOLE OF ME

When I take you to myself, I brush off everything that is not you. So let me wash your feet, all right?

KEEP IN MIND: You will be gently, reverently, entering into Jesus' heart and mind as the power of evil does its utmost to destroy Him. Do not be afraid: He opens His heart to you.

Jn 13:1-15 The Last Supper

Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end...The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas...he had come from God and was going to God...began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel...you ought to wash one another's feet...I have set you an example..you also should do as I have done to you.

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: He loved his own...loved them to the end.

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

As the Lord's supper, I notice a few things I had not considered before...He loved his own to the end. 

When I see what Jesus is doing...I see I want to...serve others.

What would it be like if I gave myself to Jesus as Peter did - "then all of me, Lord!" - what would that be like? He was zealous but had little knowledge. So I'm not sure I want to be like Peter (but he came through it in the end after he denied Him three times). 

Jesus comes to wash my feet, and I ... cry and am humbled by his love...that I would be one of the ones he would include as I have always been one who felt excluded my whole life. 

DAY THREE

KEEP IN MIND: When you pray using lectio divina or meditation or contemplation, you'll find that they give you a good chance to get to know the people around Jesus of Nazareth. 

During this week: You are likely to be more mindful of the people in your family and life world. When someone comes into your consciousness, pray for their needs and for their eternal life. 

Jn 13:1-15 Repetition of the Last Supper

Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end...you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Listening and loving that is how I wash people's feet. (C, C, J - the women I met with this week)

"Let us throw ourselves into the ocean of His goodness, where every failing will be canceled and anxiety turned into love." St. Paul of the Cross. 

DAY FOUR

BRIEF NOTES: SIGN OF GLORY

We are not so used to seeing that Jesus of Nazareth, in his Passion, was only doing what love does...St. Ignatius says that love consists in what we do... God is love and love wants to share in a partake of everything that belongs to the beloved. And we are the beloved - "precious in His eyes and honored, and He loves us" (Is. 43:4). His heart opens to us... He embraced our humanness, as it is. He wanted to share everything we are and have - except sin..." ours were the sufferings he was bearing, ours the sorrows he was carrying" (Is. 53:4)...The Son of God, who is God, knows what it is when we call on Him in our sufferings. He hasn't forgotten. He still has the wounds in His flesh. they don't hurt anymore, though. They're a sign of glory...So will all of ours be.

KEEP IN MIND: You'll want to think sometimes about the injustice done to Jesus. He was saddened by the bad will and hatred shown HIm. He was deeply grieved by the lies told to His face. Just think some times during the days, even for just a few minutes, about what He went through. It might help to have a picture of the Sacred Heart or a crucifix near...He accepts the Father's will.

Mk 14:32-42 Agony in the Garden

Deeply grieved...threw himself on the ground...remove this cup from me, yet, not what I want, but what you want...spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Same as notes above.

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." CS Lewis

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

Here and now, maybe in something hard or painful, I want to know what God wants regarding...my pain - I do feel the pain has passed..."God, knows what it is when we call on Him in our sufferings. He hasn't forgotten. He still has the wounds in His flesh. they don't hurt anymore, though. They're a sign of glory."

In my life at present, I recognize God's will in ...allowing me to suffer and be rejected.

I know I have accepted God's will when ... I am at peace. 

DAY FIVE

Mark 14:32-42 Repetition of Agony in the Garden

Remove this cup from me...pray that you may not come into the time of trial... The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Remove this cup of back pain from me. 

DAY SIX

BRIEF NOTES: FORGIVING

Jesus explicitly and generously forgave those who were trying to destroy Him...Even while they were crucifying Him, Jesus asked the Father to forgive them...love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44)...be compassionate as your heavenly Father is compassionate (grow into complete maturity of godliness in mind and character, "having reached the proper height and virtue and integrity."... You must, therefore, set no bounds to your love, just as your heavenly Father sets none to his" (Matt. 5:48)...Right here is the deepest reason why we forgive those who have hurt us. We might have to confront them or challenge them, but we do that with a mind to forgive them, however hard that is...holding resentments or immersing ourselves in bitterness is sinful, and we risk hurting ourselves more than the ones we are not forgiving. But our real reason for forgiving, it that God the Father forgives. And the Son has earned the right for us to forgive, too...First, He asks the Father to forgive them. Then He gives the Father a reason: "they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34)...He needed to put some meaning into the brutal things they were put to doing...It has proven a very powerful pattern to follow when you have not forgiven someone for something hard. Set yourself to think of the reasons why they could do what they did or are doing. What happened or is happening in their life that hey can do something like this?... When you try to see how they could acts as they do, you are going compassion. You are in some sense suffering with them, as your compassionate Savior has done - and still understands.

NOTES: Forgive the person, Father, for that person knows not what that person does. The person is ______. I can have compassion. I had forgiven even back then, but it is always really good to be reminded of this every time I see Jesus hanging the Cross. This is the way of love. 

Luke 23:33-46 The Cross

Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing...scoffed at him...He saved others, let him save himself if he is the Messiah of God, his chosen one. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

I forgive them for being so judgmental of me without cause for not liking me or seeking to know me.

I would like to hear God say to me...Today you will be with me in Paradise. 

DAY SEVEN 

KEEP IN MIND: pray the Our Father slowly and attentively. Our prayer is somehow our own, but the Lord Jesus taught us His prayer, the Our Father...If God thinks of you as that important, what difference does anyone else's opinion make, or your own, of yourself? 

Luke 23:33-46 Repetition of the Cross. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Today you will be with me in Paradise! I am so looking forward to today, LORD. Would you please heal me of the pain. There was a time a few weeks ago that I did a full-body scan, and I had no pain. Even on my anniversary getaway, I had no pain. Please I beg for that freedom. 

God gave me freedom from the pain for my six-day retreat at Mt. Angel. 

TOUCHSTONES for WEEK NINE:

• The Christian narrative of earthly life assigns a deeply positive meaning to human suffering.
• Jesus of Nazareth chose to embrace everything humankind goes through and all that we inflict on ourselves.
• Every mature disciple of Jesus correctly feels that their suffering is completing Christ's wor on earth.
• As Jesus did, we ask the Father to relieve us of suffering even while accepting it.
• Jesus' Passion impresses on or hearts how utterly and entirely God loves us.
• Jesus' Resurrection gives us the hope that our suffering and death will end in glory. 

Foundation of the Ignatian Exercises

The human person is created

to praise,

reverence

and serve God our Lord,

and by so doing save his or her soul;

and it is for the human person that

the other things on the face of the earth are created,

as helps to the pursuit of this end.

It follows from this that the person has to use these things

in so far as they help toward this end,

and to be free of them

in so far as they stand in the way of it.

To attain this, we need to make ourselves indifferent

toward all created things,

provided the matter is subject to our free choice

and there is no prohibition.

Thus, for our part we should not want health more than sickness,

wealth more than poverty, fame more than disgrace,

a long life more than a short one--

and so with everything else;

desiring

and choosing

only what leads more to the end for which we are created. (Michael Ivans translation) 

15. Moment by Moment: A Retreat in Everyday Life

I am going to post both my reviews since this is my second time through. One was just reading it through, and the update is after doing it. I liked it better DOING IT! 

Review from 2018:
I liked many of the questions that are posed during each of the 32 "moments," but some of them were very difficult to figure out what the authors were getting at in the questions. I felt like I needed a commentary from the authors to explain. 

I did like some of the "Suggestions" though. I was especially touched after the Incarnation exercise to have it suggested that I go to a public space and sit and watch people for 5 to 10 minutes to "gaze upon the people in reverence for our shared humanity in all its diversity." I did that in my doctor's office, and it was profound!  

I will definitely use some of the things from this book when I am directing people through the exercises, but I wouldn't use this as the primary text for people doing the 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises. The Exercises have a beautiful order to them, and I felt like many things in this book were taken so out of order that it just didn't flow as beautifully as the Exercises are meant to flow (like why am I looking at my Graced History in Moment 18 when most interpretations of the Exercises do it in the Preparation Days and First Week - it just seemed out of place and too late in the process). I feel like it doesn't emphasize Ignatian Contemplation which is a hallmark of the Exercises.

Update 2020: I did this in conjunction with doing my book because I had recommended this to someone looking for a shorter version of the Exercises, and I wanted to find something more suitable for someone I was leading through the Exercises that could not keep up with the time spent each day in prayer. While things are out of order, I do think there is a beauty to this book that was designed by the authors. I still agree that there is a not emphasis or guidance on Ignatian Contemplation. So the Scriptures were given (good ones) are merely read and not contemplated, which I see as the beauty that Ignatius has brought to our world. All that said, this book would be great for people who need exposure to the Exercises but would be too intimidated by the longer version. Each moment took about 45 minutes to pray through. I already have a dream of bringing a group through this in seven-weeks which would involve about 20 minutes of prayer a day. So, I think this book definitely has a place in the whole realm of possibilities for people who want to taste the Exercises. (Oh, and for Protestants, there is only one place so far Moments 19 and 24 where there is a suggestion to "pray to Mary.")

The Passion Questions

This morning, I had the wonderful privilege of being with the Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life (SEEL) Portland people via Zoom. I had asked to come up to Portland to here the reflection and spend time with God at the Jesuit Retreat Center since I missed it for Micah and Bri's wedding last year. So, I asked my spiritual director through the Exercises if I could come, and he said, "Yes!" Because of the Coronavirus, I didn't even need to travel to Portland. Paul had a lovely reflection on the Passion and his own personal story. LOVED IT. Now I am reflecting on the questions, and I will answer them here (unless they are super personal, but I haven't read them through to know if they are). 

The Passion

Reflection Questions:

Where are you in your relationship with Jesus?

I think we are on the road together and companions on the journey. He is with me every step of the way. I feel him so near, and God continues to answer that prayer I prayed in 1980 or 81 for a minute by minute relationship with him. I have not had a dry time with him. I have had hard times of pain and suffering, but he feels even nearer in those times. 

Are you ready to walk the passion with Jesus?

100%, but I don't welcome pain. It pains me to see others suffer, but I want to be with him as I remember his suffering for my sin. 

What part of the passion touches you most?

The fact that Jesus washed the feet of his betrayer. That is such love. As I was meditating on the feet washing yesterday, it hit me that it was like he was anointing our feet to go out into the world. Putting feet to the gospel. 

What one thing might Jesus have been thinking about or feeling that you can relate to? 

Being betrayed. That just cuts to my heart. I have been betrayed before, and it does not feel good. How he must have felt. Yet, he forgives as I have forgiven those who have betrayed and trespassed against me. 

What would the conversation about that be?

Jesus, teach me to love those who persecuted you. Judas sold you out for $600 in today's money. My heart breaks. You said to pray for those who persecute you and to love our enemies. What an example that you set for me. Everyone is hurt, but you say not to drink that poison of bitterness. I am so undone by your love.

Reflect on What Jesus saw from the cross.

His mother, his disciples, Roman soldiers. He died for all: Jew and Gentile. He is the one who unifies a divided world. He says, "Forgive them for they know not what they do?" The crucifiers, Peter who denied him, everyone. He forgives everyone from the cross and dies for their transgressions. 

What is he saying to you?

Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give someone else. Let it go.

What does he want from you?

To die daily to my need to defend myself. To just forgive and move on. 

What is Jesus calling you to do as you walk the passion with him?

Be his feet to those struggling through this pandemic. 

Scripture related to the passion

Exodus 12:1-14

Exodus 24:1-11

Matt 36: 30 to57

Matt 27

John 18: 12-27

Mark 14:53-72

Luke 23

John 19

Journeying with Jesus and Storytelling

Today, I meditated in Jn 9 and the healing of the man born blind. It reminded me of this story and how retelling the stories I am meditating on can really bring me to a personal encounter with Jesus: 

When the time came for me...to tell my story, I did fine...until the very last scene. The Pharisees cast out the man who had been blind, and Jesus went to find him. When he did, Jesus asked him if he believed in the Son of Man. He replied, “Who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” Jesus answered, “You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking with you.” And he responded, “Lord, I believe.” And he worshiped Jesus.

At that precise moment, as I was telling the story in front of the group, I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. My heart overflowed and tears filled my eyes. My voice cracked and I had to stop the story. The image was so intense and the meaning so profound that no words could express them. The story had moved beyond a performance or teaching moment, to become a very personal encounter with the Jesus who seeks and saves, heals and reveals.

I did finish the story, and while the feedback from the group was kind, they were mostly puzzled. “Where did that emotion come from?" they asked. I tried to explain, but was not sure even I understood the full impact. But the conference leader, a professional, biblical storyteller who has performed literally thousands of times vast portions of the Bible, including the entire book of John, said, “After listening to you, I will never tell that story the same way again.”

If we are to be effective tellers of the biblical story, we must move beyond merely memorizing the text, to the more profound and spiritual task of learning it by heart. In my case, even though I had finished memorizing the story, I was still processing its message.

Deuteronomy 11:18 says, “You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.” To learn by heart is to “lay-up” in our hearts. And until we lay up in our hearts these stories we tell, not only will we miss a tremendous spiritual blessing, but our effectiveness in sharing it with others will be greatly reduced.

Our conference leader told a wonderful story that may illustrate my point. The Jewish community celebrates annually the giving of the Law with a joyous ceremony that includes publicly holding high in the hands of the leader a copy of the Torah. During WWII, a rabbi in a Jewish concentration camp felt the burden of not having a copy of the Torah to use for the celebration. He noticed a young boy who had a reputation for knowing the Scriptures. “Do you know the Law?” he asked the boy. “Yes,” came the response. “Do you know it well?” asked the rabbi. “Yes,” he replied, “I know it very well.” And with that, the rabbi took the boy in his arms, and holding him up, they celebrated God’s giving the gift of the Scriptures.

We are not simply repeating the words, but incarnationally living the Word...The Bible story must become your story...As you learn and as you tell, try to visualize the story, and look for reactions and feelings within the story that reveals truth.[1]

---

[1] Handout “Storytelling as Spiritual Discipline” by Lloyd P. Rogers (emphasis mine)

Spiritual Exercises Week 1:Day 1 - Blessed History: Sweet Memories of Childhood

Week ONE goes through my Blessed History.  The passages are: Ps 103:2-5, 139:1-16; Is 25:6-9, 43:1-7, 63:7-15; Jer 18:1-6, and Lk 12:22-34. 

Day 1 was a deeper meditation in Psalm 103. Then I took my candle next to the fireplace and listened to God's voice about my childhood/youth. Wow. Such gratitude. Even the hard things I am grateful for.  I listened to Ps 139 and Is 43 too. So precious. Meditations for throughout the day. 

Memory Flood:

Time on the boat and writing about it 15 years ago and my brother crying. Such sweet times with our family and their friends. Being on the water is so sweet to me. (I get to go on the waters of the Rhine in three days, it is a peaceful happy place for me.)

My dad's leadership - As a father. As a friend. He was the ring leader everywhere he went. Did anyone not like him? He had WOO (Winning Others Over). 

I told a story about Dad to Michael (awesome oldest son) Friday. About how I went into the garage knowing that my dad wanted me to put pin stripes on my Honda Civic (it was the 70s and pin stripes on vehicles were all the rage) bound and determined NOT to have them (why - what's the point of them?). My dad's sweet salesmanship. I have a vivid memory of him hugging the sides of my white Honda and encouraging me to imagine that smooth stripe.

Somehow, I walked out with pin stripes on my Honda. 

(Michael laughed hysterically at this as I acted it out - I see some of my dad in both my children. Michael with his discipline and go for it attitude despite obstacles in his way. Paul with his investigative mind and wisdom.) 

Dad's lure was legend. He could talk you into anything. He used to say, "Stick with me, and I will have you wearing burlap." Those curious sayings that you didn't quite understand as a kid. It was not manipulative. You wanted to follow him because it really wasn't burlap - it was a smooth, silk sheet everywhere you went, soft against your skin. 

Life was fun and exciting, and Dad was good. He knew good things for us. Rolling up a sleeping bag and wanting to get it so tight that it would fit in the exact spot that dad had designated for it everytime he packed for a trip. (When we brought the boat, it was tucked under a seat.) Memory of him overseeing a contest with my brother to see who could roll their sleeping bag the tightest.  Who won? I don't remember. It didn't matter who won because my dad just made it fun.

Everything had a place (pots lined with foam so as to not make noise in the camper while we drove), but he wasn't OCD about it. He was just precise, applying his engineering mind to practical problems, and you wanted to please him. But it was not in a neurotic people-pleasing way. I wanted to "stick with him" because it really wasn't like wearing burlap. It was a nice silk sheet or better yet:

A warm, soft blanket wrapping me with love and warmth. 

That was my dad. I think he was a healthy 8 on the Enneagram (man on a mission - assertive) but tempered with the healthy 7 wing of joy and fun and the 9 wing of peace and love. Integrated to a 2 who was so helpful when anyone needed it. 

Memory of stopping our early morning ski ride to tow a houseboat that had overturned in the water overnight causing all the people and contents of the brand new, fully equip houseboat to fall into the shallow water just off shore. We came upon them, drenched and dazed, standing on shore after they woke up in the water. No one died. Which is a miracle. 

My dad was the second miracle. They must have thought my dad was a visiting angel. Standing at 6 feet 8 inches tall, he must have been like the ones the shepherds saw. Large and looming but delivering a good message of great joy. Salvation for the stranded houseboat occupants in a remote location on a large lake before cell phones.

Dad took charge. Enlisting the other two boats we were skiing with, he tied three lines, dad in the middle and the other two on each side, we pulled the upside-down houseboat, so it would not sway back and forth during the tow, to the nearest boat launch. It took HOURS. But it was my dad's leadership executed flawlessly and joyfully. I have never been so happy and excited to spend three hours in the California summer sun accomplishing something as important as loving your neighbor as yourself. One of many sweet memories from my childhood. "He fills your life with GOOD things, flying like an eagle" in service (Ps 103:5). 

With no desire to retrieve their losses, the owners said to dive for anything we wanted that had fallen into the water. So, loving your neighbor turned into a big blessing:

Diving for buried treasure! 

Our booty: 40 cans of POP, a Sears DieHard battery (that my dad brought back for a refund of the full price), numerous 8 track tapes that we dried out in the sun and were able to play for years to come (until 8 tracks gave way to cassettes), brand new pots and pans for mom. There was something for everyone in that treasure. 

But something deeper still than any material treasure was had here. "Give and it shall be given to you. Good measure, pressed down and shaken together, it will pour into your lap" (Luke 6:38). My dad "cast bread upon the WATER," not expecting anything return, but it returned to us in. . . 

The pure blessings and JOY of service and

A life lesson learned for a little girl in a boat with her dad.

Yes, he has filled my life with GOOD things, very good things (Ps 103:2-5). 

About the Spiritual Exercises:

I am leading two women through the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola this year. (If you want to know more or would like to be guided through them, email or Facebook me.) I did the 19th annotation with Creighton University in 2017, but I did it again with Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life (SEEL) Portland and had a spiritual director par excellence (I loved them both, but I highly recommend going through them with a director) from September 2018 - May 2019 and then did the shorter 18th annotation until late June. Between June and today, I went through Kenneth Boa's Sacred Readings, The Trinity, and Historic Creeds. Now, after meeting with one of my directees and her experience of the Exercises, I want to do them again. I can never tire of them, and they are so great to go through during Advent and Lent. Steeping through Scripture and the life of Jesus can only be GOOD! 

27. Choosing Christ in the World: Directing the Spiritual Exercises According to Annotation 18 and 19

This is a wonderfully thought out gem of a guide to the Spiritual Exercises. It has pages that a spiritual director would photocopy and give to a directee. I also like the "Lightworks" Section which is an 11 week 18th Annotation journey through the Exercises that I did after I was done with the 19th Annotation. His insights are simple and lovely. 

I have been writing quotes on this blog from the Lightworks part over the past weeks. 

I found it quoted in other things about the Exercises so I ordered it even though it was quite expensive, but when you think about the fact that a director has authorization to copy directee pages and the "brief notes" for their directees, I can see why it is so expensive. After I ordered it, my spiritual director gave me his copy though. So I didn't have to spend the money on it after all. 

LIGHTWORKS THREE/2:1 (Jn 21:15-19)

JESUS KEEPS ON FORGIVING

What I want
I beg God my Creator to give me the gift of being full of forgiveness -- for myself and for those around me. 

I went into this prayer time doing my Examen prayer from yesterday, and during my listening time, you said to forgive the rude guy at the pizza oven at the restaurant we were at last night. The old Carol would have complained to the management about his rudeness. The new Carol forgave and prayed. We talked about it at our table when we discern something, we do not criticize, we pray. That is what I did. This morning, I sealed it with absolute forgiveness. Then, I come to the theme for this week's Lightworks: Jesus keeps on forgiving. 

I didn't write on here about another encounter that I had with a new librarian. I have a great relationship of many years with people at that library, and I was shocked when asking a question about something, she all of a sudden turned on me and got really snippy. I asked George if he thought I had done something to provoke it, but he confirmed that I had not. The old Carol would have complained to the management. The new Carol forgave. The next morning. during my Examen, you said, "Her perception is reality. You adjusted. Be kind. Do not retaliate. Forgive her." Then my meditation was in Jn 13 and Jesus washing feet, even the feet of the one who he knew would betray him. Tetlow writes, "You are constantly called on to forgive - as you have been forgiven." p. 285 Choosing Christ in the World. 

Jesus told Peter to forgive 70 x 7 (Mt 18:22) - "The only way you can keep forgiving over and over again is to be filled with God's forgiveness of your own sins. When you feel how generously God forgives you and grow thankful for it, then the forgiveness spills over to others. . . The Commandments taught you to love others and to 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Then Jesus teaches you to pray the Our Father, asking forgiveness for your sins as you 'forgive those who sin against you.'" p. 291

So thankful that real life and prayer life are melting into one. So applicable to where I am at. The old Carol was into justice. When it comes to the injustice of a librarian and pizza baker being rude, the old Carol thought they needed to know that their behavior was unacceptable and will probably help them in their job, but the new Carol is all about just forgiving and letting it go and extending grace. It is not that I have never extended grace in the past, (I have willingly done it with one family member for 30+ years.) but I am more automatic in my response than I ever have been in the past. 

Fifteen minutes is up. Good words from God today! 

Take, Lord, and Receive

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. You have given all to me. To You, O Lord, I return it. All is Yours, dispose of it wholly according to Your will. Give me Your love and Your grace, for this is sufficient for me. (SE 234)

Two Standards Repetition

If you are reading my blog. I used to have those who would read it all the time, but I don't go on here as much.

If you are reading, can I heartily recommend that you take The Spiritual Exercises at least once in your life. I am on Week 24 and a little more than halfway through the life of Jesus. Usually in the Exercises, your spiritual director picks vignettes of his life to contemplate, but my director left it very open. So I decided to go through all four gospels (since my church is reading through all four this year). I am a bit ahead because Easter is on the later end this year. 

I am also writing a simple, free guide for going through the Exercises, and I am writing on Week 17: The Two Standards. During my conversation with God after my daily Examen, I felt him guiding me to do a repetition of The Two Standards. A repetition is where you go back over it and pause where you experienced consolation from the Lord. Usually, you will do a repetition of a contemplation you had only recently done, but I went with it and WOW!  I had forgotten so much since I meditated on this from January 5-13. It has only been two months, but the consolations so ministered to my heart and were such a direct answer to my prayers as I was praying through a desolation during my Examen prayer time. 

So good. 

58. Moment by Moment: A Retreat in Everyday Life

I liked many of the questions that are posed during each of the 32 "moments," but some of them were very difficult to figure out what the authors were getting at in the questions. I felt like I needed a commentary from the authors to explain. 

I did like some of the "Suggestions" though. I was especially touched after the Incarnation exercise to have it suggested that I go to a public space and sit and watch people for 5 to 10 minutes to "gaze upon the people in reverence for our shared humanity in all its diversity." I did that in my doctor's office, and it was profound!  

I will definitely use some of the things from this book when I am directing people through the exercises, but I wouldn't use this as the primary text for people doing the 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises. The Exercises have a beautiful order to them, and I felt like many things in this book were taken so out of order that it just didn't flow as beautifully as the Exercises are meant to flow (like why am I looking at my Graced History in Moment 18 when most interpretations of the Exercises do it in the Preparation Days and First Week - it just seemed out of place and too late in the process). I feel like it doesn't emphasize Ignatian Contemplation which is a hallmark of the Exercises.

Update March 2020: I have since completed 19 of the 32 moments in the book because I had recommended it to someone looking for a shorter version of the Exercises. While things are out of order, I do think there is a beauty to it that was designed by the authors. I still agree that there is a not emphasis or guidance on Ignatian Contemplation. So the Scriptures were given (good ones) are merely read and not contemplated, which I see as the beauty that Ignatius has brought to our world. All that said, this book would be great for people who need exposure to the Exercises but would be too intimidated by the longer version. Each moment took about 45 minutes to pray through. I already have a dream of bringing a group through this in seven-weeks which would involve about 20 minutes of prayer a day. So, I think this book definitely has a place in the whole realm of possibilities for people who want to taste the Exercises. (Oh, and for Protestants, there is only one place so far Moment 19 where there is a suggestion to "pray to Mary.")

57. The Ignatian Adventure: Experiencing the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius in Daily Life

While I am receiving individualized spiritual direction during this round of doing the Exercises, this is a wonderful book for someone who does not have anyone to direct them! 

Nothing More Practical

Nothing is more practical than

finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

Attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ (1907-1991)

From Finding God in All Things: A Marquette Prayer Book © 2009 Marquette University. Used with permission.

56. God Finds Us: An Experience of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola

This author, Jim Manney, is the whole reason I went on the Ignatian journey in the first place. So I thought it would be worthwhile to read his own experience with the Exercises. It was a quick and enjoyable read. He is so relatable! 

If you have not figured it out by now, I love the Exercises. If you have never done them, I urge you to try them. They are truly life-changing! 

55. God's Voice Within: The Ignatian Way To Discover God's Will

This is my third book on Ignatian discernment, and this one goes into more detail than the other two. I loved his writing style and practical exercises for discernment. 

Wednesday Morning Freewrite

I have loved doing these Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola again this year. I loved it last year through Creighton University Online Retreat, but I love doing it where I have a spiritual director that I meet with every other week and a cohort of people with a small "Sacred Listening" group of 10 people (three of whom are directors of the other seven). And the best part is doing it with my sweet, gentle giant of a husband: GEORGE (DGG is my nickname for him - Diplomatic Gentle Giant)! The face-to-face contact with others in the journey make it that much sweeter. I am so thankful that there is a program here in Oregon even though we have to commute there twice a month for our spiritual direction and the monthly retreat (www.seelportland.org). It is so worth it.

So, what am I learning. Well, Mike, my spiritual director, almost became a Jesuit priest. So he so knows his stuff and is an older man (I would say he is in his mid- to late- sixties) who is steeped in these Exercises. He gives me things to meditate on, and I meditate and share every other week.

The "Preparation Week" (which is more than a week) was all about looking at the Principles and Foundation of the exercises and praying through my "Graced History" year by year. It was so good! I did this last year, and it made me sad, but this year, I was so hopeful and grateful for the "mothers" that God gave me throughout my journey! Then he gave me verses on God's love: "OH the overwhelming, never ending, restless love of God!" 

Then in light of that "LOVE BUBBLE" I looked at that Graced History and saw patterns of sin in the "first week" of the Exercises. That was so healthy and freeing for me. I had a SIN PATTERN from last year, but God brought me so much deeper still with underlying causes of these, and this coincided with me understanding my Enneagram Type 2 and the sin patterns associated with this that I wholeheartedly concur with. I was able to embrace those patterns and be up front with God about them. Giving them to Him to CONCEAL rather than me concealing them from Him. I had lots of confession and also forgiving of people. This also coincided with our Kingdom Community doing the Knowing Rediscovered videos by my friends! It all just gelled so beautifully together. 

Now, I am on the beginning of the "Second Week," and I have been steeping myself in the "Call of the King" where I imagine myself before a wonderful, kind, benevolent earthly king who calls me to great things. Then I imagine myself before the King of kings! Mike has kept me in this for quite a while since I went on to the sin patterns naturally and slightly ahead of the liturgical year where we hit the Incarnation and Nativity at Christmas. That is OK though because the "Call of the King" has made me stop and think about fears I have because I think that I am afraid to approach some people about what I feel like God is calling me to, and someone that I thought might be an "in" to this sort of blew me off! LOL! What is so great is that I did not take this personally, and I did not think I was "unwanted and unloved" (as is typical for a Type 2)! I just said, "Hmm. 'When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window" (God even had The Sound of Music on TV the day I got blown off!). So I am GOOD, and I may just have another trail to blaze. It is all good! 

Well, I better go. It has been fifteen minutes. I am thinking about doing a VLOG regarding these Exercises. 

ETERNAL LORD OF ALL THINGS

I feel Your gaze on me.
I sense that with You are all the great beings of heaven --
angels and powers and martyrs and saints.
Lord Jesus, I think You have put a desire in me.
If You will help me, please,
I would like to make my offering:
I want it to be my desire, and my choice,
provided that You want it, too,
to live my life as You lived Yours.
I know that You lived an insignificant person
in a little, despised town;
I know that You rarely tasted luxury and never, privilege,
and that You resolutely refused to accept power.
I know that You suffered rejection by leaders,
abandonment by friends, and failure.
I know. I can hardly bear the thought of it all.
But it seems a toweringly wonderful thing
that You might call me to follow You and stand with You.
I will labor with You to bring God's reign,
if You will give me the gift to do it. Amen.