Thursday, April 20, 2006


I am in the mood for new colors and new fonts and new sizes of the letters. I want to spread my wings and fly and be out of the box that I have been putting myself in over the last few months.

I had to admit that I didn't respect someone yesterday. I feel like I have hid behind this all year. The issues are the issues, and I need to face them head-on.

Oh my, help me to fly, Lord. Please help me to fly.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Too Long - It has been almost two months

I don't know how everyone keeps up on these things. I usually journal a ton in my writing journal. Not sure why I don't here. I don't think anyone reads this. So, I guess it doesn't matter that I am not journaling anyway. It is my place to go to when I want to go.

School has gone so well. We are almost at the end of the school year and our five year cycle of World History. We started this journey when Michael was in Second Grade by going through the whole span of history in one big year. WOW! It was a whirlwind, and I thought that I would love to go at a slower pace and really relish it all.

Then, Kimberly gave me the manuscript to The Story of the World Volume I - Ancient Times. Back in October of 2001. It was so great. Here is is 2006, and I have about fifty more years of World History to go. What a satisfying things to go through the whole span of history and find how much I have learned with my kids.

I hate it when I get these stupid anonymous posts on this BLOG from people who are concerned about the "socialization" of my children. My kids are getting plenty of socialization AND they are getting a very good history education. History is so important for teaching values and such. It is so great. I wouldn't trade these years for anything, and I really don't believe my kids are losing anything in the process. They are only gaining.

So, I think I am raising little environmentalist (more conservationist), civil rights activist, pro-women, anti-war, anti-nuclear weapons, pro-life, pro-Native American men. Paul asked me today the difference between Republican and Democrats, and then he asked me what I was. I have to say I better switch back to Independent. I really think that this more accurately reflects where I really am. I think independently rather than being in the hip-pocket of any one political party. I am pro-Jesus. How abut the pro-Jesus party?

My reading of late has been A Prayer for Owen Meany, Atonement, The Land of Sheltered Promise, and The Road from Coorain. Owen Meany was sort of bizarre. Lots of bad language, but the concept was so unusual. I gave it a 7 at book club, not because I liked the language though. Atonement was really good. It had a bit of bad language though, but the writing was excellent. I was surprised to see such style in a modern day popular writer. The Road from Coorain was a fascinating look at a woman who was raised in the Australian Outback with a mother who experiences loss and drifts into control of her children. It was very good. Really enjoyed learning about another part of the world. The Land of Sheltered Promise has been sort of a syrupy Christian fiction novel, but it is holding a special place in my heart because it is reminding me about my time with Young Life at Malibu Beyond. It also has a composite couple names Gail and Isaac Barlett that are based on Gwen and Iral Barrett. Gwen was the woman who rescued me out of the depths when I had a breakdown half my life ago. I has been special to read and reflect upon that dark time of my life.

TrapdoorSociety continues to be a good place for me to be. I went to Baton Rouge, LA with sixteen other women from Indiana, Minnesota, North Carolina, South Carolina, Maryland, Pennsylvania, California, Washington, Texas, Illinois, Ohio, Georgia, Florida, and Louisianna. It was really good. I loved the time with these precious women, and I pretty much got one-on-one time with every single one. Some longer and more in-depth that others. It was special. It was very special. We talked and laughed and analyzed till we were blue in the face. I loved every minute of it.

I have three more weeks of Women Becoming, and it has been a very good year. There are three more weeks to go; and as I reflect, I am very grateful for the opportunity that I have had to be a part of it. I am thankful that Martha asked me to be a part. It has been hard at some points working with her, but I have really learned to develop a thicker skin, and I am also learning much through the pruning. I am still trying to figure out what my role will be in the whole process of this though. Still praying and waiting for a miracle answer to my dilemma, but I am so grateful for this year and the women that God has allowed me to become involved with.

Well, it is 11:30 p.m. I didn't realize it was so late. It has been a much better day today than yesterday. I am praying for a solution to this dilemma.

Tuesday Ten Minute Freewrite

I am going to go great guns for 10 minutes on this freewrite. I am meeting with a person (not sure if she wants direction - she just wanted ...