I feel a bit somber today. I had a long spiritual direction time with George yesterday. Then we had a long talk about our Christmas and the difficulties with someone recently. I came away sad. I am still pondering that this morning. What is, is. I have let it go and all I feel is compassion for that person. My Helper type just wants to scream "There is a better way to live!" Yet, I am not one to scream.
Today, I meditated on John coming into the world and putting myself in Elizabeth's shoes who had waited so long for a baby. The narrator asked how I respond when long-filled hopes are fulfilled, and I did think about this family situation. I am not sure what more I can do. I have tried to cope the best I can. I have tried to be as kind as possible while not letting the person control me. That has made that person unhappy when I have not allowed the control to happen to me as it does to so many others. But I have hopes that health can come, but I cannot do anything about that. Those are not my choices make. Yet, we live with the brokenness of that person's choices. It is not fair, but life is not always fair.
I also think about my hopes for my children. I remember how excited I was about P getting into a very competitive pro-school. I love it when my kids fly. So that is still my hope: that they would fly.
It is not raining right now. So maybe I will cut this freewrite short and go for a little walk. I just need to wrap a few gifts today. I also need to plan the menu for Christmas Eve. That is about it.
God is good.
"If Christmas is not now,
if Christ is not born
into the everyday present,
then what is all the noise about?"
Ann Weems
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