What a day. It started with meditating in Pray as You Go on the events surrounding the Nativity. (There was something about being released from fears - what are they - one of mine was talking to someone).
Then I was going to take a walk while it was not raining, but I took a shower, and then God led me to make a very overdue phone call. It was a way for me to be released from the fear I prayed about during my prayer time. It took 2 1/2 hours to talk thing through with someone in which there have been over 30 years of stuff building. I took responsibility for my part. That is all I could do. It is the only relationship that I can think of where there was unresolved conflict. I have always been too afraid to talk to that person, but I felt like I was supposed to do it. There was a lot of stuff thrown my way that I had to sort through with George afterward, but I think we processed it in a healthy way, and now I am letting it all go. We also prayed through some lies that we sensed. George vehemently rejected some of the things that were told to me about my character. He knows me best and is so lovingly honest. Processing with him was good. Guide us now into the way of peace (like the time in prayer directed this morning).
Then I did my Dial-A-Book deliveries and was so sweetly blessed to help an older woman who can not walk to unlock the sliding glass door. But she motioned to me to look for the key under the mat, and I could pick up her books. There was just something so life-giving for me to open that door. Today was a day of opening doors.
Then I called George again, and we talked for a while. Then D came to spend the night with K. Then surprise of all surprises: Z was also with them! So we all sat and talked. Then J came to drop off their luggage, and we all had a love fest. I nearly cried when I read D's card that said how much she loved and appreciated my lively personality because I was so severally criticized for that in my phone call in the morning. There were more negative words attributed to me than "lively," but I would say that is what I am. I have lots of life and energy. Most people really love that (and I love that), but this person sees it as a negative thing.
K and J couldn't stay long so D and Z and I talked and talked and talked. We laughed and laughed and laughed. Then George came home, and we all went out for yummy Middle Eastern food.
There was so many blessings that came with my special friends. I so needed their encouragement and love.
Then George and I processed and prayed some more. I cannot sleep. I think it is because I had tea too late in the day though. But I am OK. I am just having my freewrite time (and Examen time) a little early today!
MOST LIFE-GIVING: Seeing all these people who I love and who love me and accept me for the special person that God made me to be!
MOST DEADENING or DESOLATING: Someone judging me and being critical of me and assuming the worst of me.
CONFESSION: I feel like I did make peace in that I took responsibility and apologized for the things I needed to apologize for.
LOVE: Continue to pray and love this person from a distance. I feel like I did my part.
I am grateful that George said how proud he was of me for doing what I did. Now I claim Exodus 14:13-14 and rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment