Wednesday Freewrite

I am having such a God moment right now. I am drinking it in. I am breathing deeply. God is SO good. After listening to the Reuters TV blurb played to me every morning, it is good to return to the serenity that my time in the Exercises brought me this morning. "DO NOT BE AFRAID" to Joseph in a dream. I skipped ahead a day because the Pray as You Go app had it as the meditation for today, and she leads you through a specific Ignatian contemplation that was pretty spectacular. 

So, back to the peace. "DO NOT BE AFRAID!" I was led back to a feeling of real dread that I felt as I was drifting off to sleep last night. I gave it to God and had a restful night of sleep. My dreams were calm (even though I cannot remember what I dreamed). So I think I really did let it go, but I was reminded of this when the angel said to Joseph, "DO NOT BE AFRAID." So, I gave it again. It is hard to trust when it is someone else you are trusting God for. They have choices. But I can only live my life and not another's. 

It can be fearful to think of what is happening in our country today about impeachment. But I go back to "DO NOT BE AFRAID," and I really am at peace. God is in control. I can certainly pray.

It makes me afraid that I might not see D. She is here for the holidays, but the day she wants to come and spend the night is the day and night that I have something for most of the day. I was afraid to say, "Hey, can you come on another day?" because all of my days surrounding that day are totally free, and I was so looking forward to doing what I was going to do on that day, but she is on vacation and can probably flex. So I ask for an alternative from her. The old me would drop everything, but the new me tries not to be afraid to ask for an alternative. I know most people would not struggle with this, but if people only knew the inner turmoil I feel when I think I might be letting someone down or making them feel like they are not important to me. 

Nan brought me cranberry, lemon biscotti delivered to my door yesterday. YUM.

I really loved the music that was played during my time with the Pray as You Go people. I must look it up and add it to my playlist. I have a whole playlist now that I have learned from that app. 

I have 3:50 left on my timer. Today I want to:

• Spend time finding out what that smell is in the kitchen! I have looked all over for it and totally cleaned the fridge, and there is still a smell. 
• Spend time rewriting this week's Exercises. I have some updates I want to add. I also want to write the condensed version for the 18th annotation. 
• Give to Examen with Father James Martin. I love that podcast, and I need to donate before the year is out. 
• Walk in the fog and listen to Fahrenheit 451. I fell asleep during key parts (the sleep timer did not work, and it kept playing), and I had to start over because I was lost. I don't mind. What a powerful book. Why have I never read it before? I know I read something by him in the past, but I don't remember what the name is. 

The sun is coming up now. I will go get dressed and out the door for a walk. 

Light has come into the world. I am rejoicing about Him right now. 

God moment. 

(What happened to my Grammarly? It has disappeared on this blog. I loved having that aid to my writing.)