Freewrite Wednesday

We will see if this new keyboard sitting on top of my old keyboard without the "O" letter working will suffice and not give me carpel tunnel or something.

I am listening to our favorite Christmas CD. It just changed to the more rocky Mannheim Steamroller Christmas. Sort of shattered my more somber morning, but it is making my fingers type more quickly to the beat (expect typos. just sayin'). 

Had a long talk with Tim this morning. He is happy with what we are doing. I feel like I haven't done much of anything lately because I have been sick now for almost a week. I wished I could have just slowed down when I started feeling sick the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, but we had a meeting on Wednesday night and then three people stayed until 1:30 am. Then it was up for Thanksgiving with the family in Salem. So, no rest for the weary, and we both woke up Friday morning for sickness. I thought I was much better on Sunday and pushed it. Now it is Wednesday, and I still don't feel very well, but I am pushing through and going to dinner tonight with friends (been planned for a long time).

Paul is stressed because of two papers and an art project due this week and the pressure to live up to his older brother's straight A's that he makes look so easy. Poor guy. We walked around the block two times the night before last, and he poured out his heart in his "Thinker" way. The walking helped, and I think he needs to learn to balance his life and not study all the time. SO CONSCIENTIOUS.  He already has eight out of ten pages done on his research paper that isn't due until tomorrow. I don't think I ever had that many pages done before a deadline. LOL! 

What is so hard is that writing is so laborious for him, but he is so good! I used to let writing be a chore for me too, but I think writing almost everyday for five years has really helped me. Also the forums I was a part of where I had to compose my thoughts were also very good for me. 


Sigh. I don't visit those forums anymore. I just don't feel that I have anything else to contribute. I was the biggest contributor but never felt very appreciated for my contribution and looked down upon by most of them. When there was "leadership" of the board, there was usually a power struggle, and I was never picked which made no sense since I was the second most prolific contributor. 

I am so "in between" on so many things. I am not a radical right winger, but I am not a radical left winger either. I just love Jesus, and I don't think he was either (although both camps try to claim that he was one or the other). I went on that old Forum a while back, and it is pretty dead. I am also not part of the prayer loop anymore. No one wants to hear GOOD news, and I always felt disenfranchised there. I have NOT missed the drama that always seemed to erupt there on a regular basis, but I also miss knowing what is up with the people who didn't have much good news to share. I also realized that I had so much in the way of real life people to care for and love that I had to make a choice. All that said, I do love all those people, but I don't miss how the different camps used to gang up on one another. Honestly, the right wingers were worse. I was embarrassed and they were too prideful to admit when they blew it. SO sad. I don't miss it. Love the people but don't miss the collective angst. 

I have been reading a LOT lately because I have been sick. I am going to try to listen to my book and straighten up the living room bookcases to accommodate my scrapbooks and get ready for the Christmas tree. I did a little bit of book straightening when I first got up this morning and was exhausted, seriously. I don't know what this cold is all about, but I want to go and walk and clean my house and work on projects, but I run out of energy so quickly. Even the talk with Tim this morning left me exhausted afterward. 

What gives?


Well, there is the Harp Bell timer going off. Right when I felt like I was done rambling! BYE!
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