I had another "wrench" put into my scheduling for the year. I think I am addicted to closure and having things settled. I am not even that strong of a "J" on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator ("J" is the one that likes a final "J" judgment - not judgemental, just wants to see a final verdict/judgment in the whole scheme of things).
I think being a strong "F" (feeler) and a big people person, I want everyone to come on along and feel included, loved, and wanted. Sometimes, I am too accommodating though. I like people, and I certainly LOVE what I do, and when it rains, it pours!
I told George yesterday, that I feel like I am standing under the "wine waterfall"! I had a vision of it on March 19, 2023, followed by a verse on March 26th (Amos 9:13 in The Message), and am getting pummeled underneath it.
Adding Amos 9:13:
“Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree.
“Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills."
I am adding Psalm 85:11. The flowers were in the vision, and then God gave me this promise 10 days later (I really love that God confirms things like this):
"Flowering of your faithfulness are blooming on the earth." (TPT)
Where should I stand with the waterfall, LORD? All the things I have dreamed about are coming true, and I cannot keep up. (Grammarly - how do I close you down? You are annoying me to no end with your silly suggestions. This is a freewrite, by Golly.)
I will put a picture of the "Wine Waterfall" after I am done with this freewrite.
First of all, I am sick today. It started yesterday afternoon, I fell asleep for an hour between 2-3. I fell asleep again in the early evening. Then, I fell asleep at 10 pm and slept for 10 hours. SO UNLIKE ME (I only need six hours - I have the "Sleepless Elite" gene - 1-3% of the population. So when I sleep for 10 and more during the day, I know that I am sick. Here are the famous members.)
So, I postponed my direction session with "C" until Thursday. She was so understanding. I have only had to postpone two other times in all my years of direction.
I think I am a bit overwhelmed with the waterfall too. So, I am reading today and trying to schedule one more group that might possibly have a person who is eight hours time difference. I am already trying to get a schedule with five other people in another group for January-June with a 16-hour time change. YIKES! This group with the eight hours is going from February to May. It is weekly for 1 1/2 hours, but if this person joins, it will extend our time another 15 minutes. Everyone else is excited to have that person join, but they are now traveling, and have not got good reception. So, I am in limbo with the scheduling for that group.
Thus, my realization I am ADDICTED to closure. I have known that about myself. ADD to that ADDICTION a desire to make everyone happy, and I am stressed again.
I had so many years of little stress. I think if the wine waterfall continues, I need to be a little more in charge of my own destiny (meaning let my calendar be set in partnership with God). I have other people who are determining my schedule. Lesson learned: If you build it, they will come.
Set MY time for the groups, if people cannot make it, they will not sign up for it. They can find another group to join or wait until they can clear their schedule to join.
I think this is my last year with one of the groups I lead. I love the content. I love the people. But I cannot have someone else be in charge of my time anymore. I am too full up with other things, and when George retires, we will be going away more. I don't want to have just ONE MONTH of freedom in the summer that ends up being full of arrangements for the new crop of people coming in. It is too much for me.
So there is my fifteen.
Clarify: Love the Wine Waterfall. I just need to know where to stand, and not let people put me underneath it.
15 minutes. Good clarification for me!
On to rest and reading.
(Oh good news, one standing thing I did every Monday and Thursday from 12:15-1:00 pm is being put on hold until January. Woohoo! That is an answer to prayer.)
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