101. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

This is the best book on grief I have ever read. I cannot believe I had never come across it before. It is not part of the boxed set of C.S. Lewis' non-fiction books. I wonder why? I would give this to anyone who was struggling with loss of a loved one. It is so powerful. It is so profound, (but what writing by C.S. Lewis is NOT profound?)

There are too many quotes to put here, but I will just put one:

Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape. As I've already noted, not every bend does. Sometimes the surprise is the opposite one; you are presented with exactly the same sort of country you thought you had left behind miles ago. That is when you wonder whether the valley isn't a circular trench. But it isn't. There are partial recurrences, but the sequence doesn't repeat.

I thought deeply about my mother who lost my dad to pancreatic cancer in 1985. Her grief stayed with her until the day she died in 2007. She still functioned, and she functioned well. She just was on that long valley journey. I realized today that she was 58 years, 3 months, and 18 days old. I am 60. She was a very young widow. They were married for 28 years, 10 month, and 9 days. I have been married for 29 years, 2 months, and 29 days. It is weird to think I have been married longer than my parents, and that I am older than my mom when she became a widow. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been to be such a young widow, really. They were so extremely happy in their marriage, as I am in mine. I know that was the BEST gift they gave me was their marriage relationship. It was different than mine, but it was loyal and loving. I am grateful for their example.

(I know I am being anal retentive about the days, but I got this new app that does this for me, and I think it is sort of cool.)