Week Three is about asking for the grace to direct my whole self to the service of Jesus the healer and desiring to be raised to life.
Today, we have three healing stories for prayer: Jairus' daughter, the widow's son, and Lazarus. I read the texts and then decide on one to put myself in the scene.
I chose Lazarus (Jn 11) and listening to "The Tomb" by Pray as You Go and Sacred Space.
"I am the resurrection and life. Those who believe in me, even though they die will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die."
I put myself in Mary's shoes. She had her doubts too. How do I respond to my doubts and fears?
The meditation ends with "Then, I surrender my vulnerabilities and healing to the Lord, so that he may better work through me. I offer, if he wills, to help heal and encourage others.
Conversation: Thank you Lord for the faith that "makes me well." I do feel so well. It is well with my soul. I feel so healed. I feel such a sense of calm as I sit here at 6:15 this morning on what will be a 74-degree day (I always say a perfect day is between 70-75 degrees). I know that the cities across America have been burning, but I think last night was calmer. They called in the National Guard in many of them. But there is peace in my soul. There is sadness but there is peace.
Back to the healing. I think I am finally fully healed from the traumatic event at the end of December. I might even be ready to put the things I wrote and then pulled back on here. It is documentation of a process from hurt to healing and new life. I am more convinced than ever of God's calling and choosing me, not because of my own effort, but just because that is what God does; he calls and chooses people not because they are better or special, but he just has a plan for everyone, and I know that his plan for me involves spiritual direction and especially direction through the Exercises.
Call it direction. Call it shepherding. Call it discipleship. Call it healing prayer. I have been doing this for 40 years, ever since Sharyl said, "Will you help me grow?" That was 1980. I made a mess of it because I was following the premade plan that was laid out for me by my leaders, but I always ended up doing direction (not knowing that is what it was). That road of growth fit and was so much more conducive to how God wired me. I just made it formal by getting this certificate, but I know I have been doing it all along, even when my leaders were encouraging me otherwise. It is nice to just call it that and not have to be a "listening and inner healing prayer" person either when sometimes that just did not fit the moment. That was just not the best thing. I was always more interested in hearing their story.
I have been raised to new life. :)
Well, in three minutes, I start my intercession time for my great city of Corvallis. Then write my paragraph for Dale and my LAST Enneagram training class. Then, teach my final two RELAXATION Pilates classes at OSU! So TTFN.
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