On death and dying
I am reading on the internet and all of the things say: Prognosis poor, most people die within two years.
It is weird to see him last Friday. On the outside, he looks strong and healthy. I am so sad. I am so very, very sad. I am sad for the kids that I have known since they all came out of the womb. I am sad for his wife who has been a friend for many years. It is weird that it is bringing up lots of memories of our friendship that have been painful too. It is funny how these sorts of things bring up so much in your heart and mind.
I want to help, but I don't know how to do that. I know that others are going up to see them in Portland, but I really don't want to be in the way. I know she has said that I wouldn't be in the way, but because of our history, I would feel in the way. I wonder how to get over that.
It was so nice because her mother said that the kids love us and don't stop talking about us when they are at home. I know that my role is to help with the kids more than anything right now. I love these kids like my own. I really and truly do.
That is my reflection at 11 p.m. on Valentine's Day. Sounds so morbid. I am so sad.