So, back to the peace. "DO NOT BE AFRAID!" I was led back to a feeling of real dread that I felt as I was drifting off to sleep last night. I gave it to God and had a restful night of sleep. My dreams were calm (even though I cannot remember what I dreamed). So I think I really did let it go, but I was reminded of this when the angel said to Joseph, "DO NOT BE AFRAID." So, I gave it again. It is hard to trust when it is someone else you are trusting God for. They have choices. But I can only live my life and not another's.
It can be fearful to think of what is happening in our country today about impeachment. But I go back to "DO NOT BE AFRAID," and I really am at peace. God is in control. I can certainly pray.
It makes me afraid that I might not see D. She is here for the holidays, but the day she wants to come and spend the night is the day and night that I have something for most of the day. I was afraid to say, "Hey, can you come on another day?" because all of my days surrounding that day are totally free, and I was so looking forward to doing what I was going to do on that day, but she is on vacation and can probably flex. So I ask for an alternative from her. The old me would drop everything, but the new me tries not to be afraid to ask for an alternative. I know most people would not struggle with this, but if people only knew the inner turmoil I feel when I think I might be letting someone down or making them feel like they are not important to me.
Nan brought me cranberry, lemon biscotti delivered to my door yesterday. YUM.
I really loved the music that was played during my time with the Pray as You Go people. I must look it up and add it to my playlist. I have a whole playlist now that I have learned from that app.
I have 3:50 left on my timer. Today I want to:
- Spend time finding out what that smell is in the kitchen! I have looked all over for it and totally cleaned the fridge, and there is still a smell.
- Spend time rewriting this week's Exercises. I have some updates I want to add. I also want to write the condensed version for the 18th annotation.
- Give to Examen with Father James Martin. I love that podcast, and I need to donate before the year is out.
- Walk in the fog and listen to Fahrenheit 451. I fell asleep during key parts (the sleep timer did not work, and it kept playing), and I had to start over because I was lost. I don't mind. What a powerful book. Why have I never read it before? I know I read something by him in the past, but I don't remember what the name is.
The sun is coming up now. I will go get dressed and out the door for a walk.
Light has come into the world. I am rejoicing about Him right now.
God moment.
(What happened to my Grammarly? It has disappeared on this blog. I loved having that aid to my writing.)
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