Friday Fifteen Freewrite (Prayerful Review)

These days are so good. I made a very firm decision about staying with the Renovaré Institute. I love so much about it, and this whole INCLUSION thing is a want, but it is not a need. He finally spoke toward the end of my month of meditation in Psalm 23. 

The LORD is my shepherd
I DO NOT WANT

Another way to look at the Hebrew construction of that first verse. The Message says, "I have all that I need,", and I really DO have all that I need. I even have a "prayerful community." I even have found a Spiritual Director who I think is a perfect fit for me. Nancy telling me that I have had SO MANY wise, older people who have poured into my life. Most people have never had that, and I have had them in ABUNDANCE. So, this whole INCLUSION thing is a greediness issue! 

I also asked God about this whole INCLUSIVENESS thing, and I know that Renee did listening prayer with me in 2015 at Rusty's conference about the "my high school friends leaving me alone behind the football stands" memory (while they went to do things they knew I would not approve of), and He showed me that white limousine going the other way. I asked God to show me beyond the football stands, and He did. The trajectory of my life has been so different from theirs, and He has led me into some very pleasant places! And I am not alone in that white limousine! It is just a smaller set of people than all of them piled into the ratty old teenage car. I am grateful for the life He has given me.

So, I think there will be a small subset of people at the RI that I will click with. My new Spiritual Director, Fran, said that if I went through Spiritual Direction Training, I would probably find "my people." I have found some "my people" at the RI though. So, I walk forward with that small limousine car full of them. I have had some DEAR interaction with some of them over email, Facebook Messenger and the phone too. I am UBER-RELATIONAL! (Which is a blessing and a curse sometimes.) But, I cannot expect that of everyone in the RI. That is unrealistic. I want to thank D.J. and Cynthia (RI Grads) for reading this blog and reaching out to me. Also some of you who have no idea about the RI but were concerned and reached out. So sweet. I am GOOD now! 

So with this I will be content.

Now, on to what I was going to do today in the remaining 12 minutes of my FRIDAY FREEWITE! :) 

I made a new handout for the PRAYERFUL REVIEW or EXAMEN HERE!

Here goes

Ask to see everything through His eyes - God, bring light to the review of my day so that I can see everything through Your loving eyes.

Give thanks - I give thanks for the sunlight peaking through the clouds and shining through the fall leaves as I drove down Hwy 20. For Dr. Myers knowing exactly what to do to release that tight muscle on the left side of my spine. For the Kingdom Community - I take for granted that I DO have that kind of community that Chris Webb talks about in his book and Renovare Institute talks about. It is a "community of prayerful love" especially when we go to pray. I am SO GRATEFUL that you have opened doors to create that kind of community here. It is a gift and something most people in the RI do not have. I am grateful for friends, near and far, who reach out to me and love me. Grateful for George and the boys. They are SO VERY KIND, not just yesterday but EVERYDAY they are an example to me of true manhood. I am grateful for rest yesterday. It was a low-key day, and I am so glad I have the freedom to rest after a muscle release. 

Review the day - Holy Spirit guide me through the day, hour by hour. Shine your light on it.

Where I felt most alive and responsive and in tune with your plan for my life in the world.

Slowly driving to the doctor's office. Leaving five minutes early so I was not hurried or anxious
Being a light to Dr. M and the other two interns. One of them joked that I was "spreading the good news of osteopathic medicine," but you gave me the assignment to spread the Good News of the kingdom in that treatment room, and I think I did that.
Resting into my new role as RI member - My heart was occupied with that decision, and it is nice to rest in it, having made it.
Getting feedback from both Kim and Nancy that the Prayer Review I gave them had BLESSED THEM! Let's hear it for listening and obeying.
Kingdom Community prayer
Rick Steves France Shows - why do they relax me so much? Why are they so life-giving to me? They have been for years. 

Where I felt most dead and unresponsive and out of tune with God's plan.

When I led the David study in Kingdom Community - I did not communicate well. I did not prep them well!
Having to make a decision about whether I should go to Jean's dad's memorial service when I have two meeting before and after. Knowing that I would have to hurry to it and from it in order to make both meetings. Decisions like this make me anxious.


Face your shortcomings

Lord, forgive me for my lack of prayerful planning prior to Kingdom Community. My leading was not bathed in prayerful love! 

I resolve to communicate more effectively by always giving a follow up of the next week's expectations. I will apologize for my laziness. 

Look to the new day and "one practical thing" that I will commit to do that will express my love to God and others.

Well, it is obvious! I will send out a nice email about expectations for next week and apologize for not being more clear in my communication. 


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