Tuesday Morning Freewrite

Do not read this if you do not want a "Freewrite Rant"! I am part of an eating accountability group, and sometimes stress causes me to overeat. So I was reflecting on the day to them, and this is what I freewrote. 

I have to admit that I rarely get mad. Seriously, maybe two times a year, if that. So, I hate it when I do. Actually, I was trying to fast for Ramadan, and I think my blood sugar being low made it more difficult for me to cope since the climax of what made me mad happened during the part of the day that I most struggle. That part is 2:30-5:00, and I call it my "witching hours" where my brain is low on serotonin (regulates impulse control and boosts mood) and dopamine (controls the brain's reward and pleasure center). Food usually helps elevate these (in moderation it is helpful, but this is when most of us overeat). Since I was fasting, I was already vulnerable! 

FYI, here is a handout on these two important brain chemicals and how to elevate them naturally: 


Embarrassing to say that I was mad, but here is one of those days (that started out great):

I woke up this morning a bit sore from lifting weights (The Firm Time Crunch aerobic weight training - a video I started doing in 1995! Now they have it on DVD!) for the FIRST time since FEBRUARY! That latissimus dorsi injury took TWO months to heal and then the next TWO, I was TOO busy! (Pilates keeps you in pretty good shape, but weight lifting make you even stronger)

My early morning bike ride was so exhilarating, and I plan on biking 100 miles this month for kids cancer: https://greatcyclechallenge.com/Dashboard#_=_

BUT HERE IS MY RANT. Sometimes it is good for me to process things in writing. Don’t feel like you have to read this.

Yesterday was hard emotionally. The morn was great, but I had such a difficult time getting a certain drug prescribed for my son’s surgery. The pharmacies did not have it, and I drove to a pharmacy in another town because the doctor’s nurse assured me that they had it only to get there and to have them say they made a mistake and do not have it and cannot order it. The pharmacist overheard me telling the cashier that I was assured that they did have it and could they check to make sure, and she had pity and called around and NO ONE HAS THIS DRUG, but my doctor’s office insisted that they prescribe it all the time.

I had to wait until the office came back from lunch to find out the next move (if we did find the drug, it would have to be ordered and can take up to a week so I needed to find a resolution yesterday), and I did not know whether I should stay in the town I had driven to or go back to my town because he has offices in three different places and his answering service does not know where they are on any given day. 

When she finally called back, she gave the solution my husband had suggested (in consultation with our pharmacist) at 9 AM THAT MORNING (and it was 2:15 by the time she called) that would have saved ME hours of calls and driving around looking for it at different pharmacies! I told her that this is what my husband suggested at 9 AM, and she said, “No, he suggested that we prescribe LORTAB and the doctor said that is not strong enough for this surgery.” My husband does not even know what LORTAB is so it would not have even been in his vocabulary to suggest an alternative drug. He suggested the same two drugs in the original prescription as directed by the pharmacist.

So, I had to go to his office and get the new prescription (thankfully, I had made the right call and come back home instead of waiting 1 ½ hours for them to call me back after their lunch, and they were in my town that day.)

When I went to pick up the prescription, thinking it would be at the front desk, I got called in his office and lectured by him! I was floored. 

He said, “My office people spent 2 ½ hours looking for this drug for you, etc.” 

My question is if he prescribes it all the time, then TELL ME WHERE I CAN GO TO FIND IT! He had no answers in that way. He said he prescribed it two weeks ago with the people having NO PROBLEM finding it.

My suggestion, “Then call that patient up and ask them where they got it.”

Reply, “Oh they are in another town, and they probably got it at this place.” When I said I was willing to go and get it in that place (an hour drive away), the reply was, “Well, you might go there, and they might not have it so we think we will just do this. (Which is what my husband suggested at 9 am. It is now 2:45pm).

 I felt like I was treated like I was an idiot. I was SO MAD. I cannot tell you how much I do not appreciate arrogant doctors (I used to work in a hospital, and I know how some of them can be.) He also lectured me for not calling me over the weekend when his office was closed when we discovered that we could not find the drug over the weekend. We waited for his office to open on Monday, but that was also our mistake for not calling sooner.

Anyway, they made it way more complicated than they needed it to be, and apparently, it is our fault that we cannot find this drug. (All the pharmacist we talked to did not have the drug and could not order it and some would not give that information over the phone without the written prescription which would have required us to go to each pharmacy on foot.) 

I have to admit that my husband volunteer to take care of all of this, and he is sometimes NOT PERSISTENT in making sure he can get information. If someone tells him, “No,” he doesn’t pursue it, but I am a little bit more dogged in my quests for the right information. My doctor also said there is no proprietary reason why a pharmacy would have to have the written prescription to check on whether they could order a drug. But that is the answer my husband got, and I would have pressed, but my husband never presses.

Bottom line for the doctor, just tell me where all these patients from the past went, and we will go to wherever we have to go! Silence. It was really frustrating.

Sorry for this rant, but it was a really upsetting day for me, but the good news is that I didn’t overeat as a result! I did break my Ramadan fast (I am not a Muslim but thought I would do it to empathize with my Muslim friends. It did this 6 years ago, and it was really great), but I did not overeat in stress. (I did get myself a little sundae to celebrate when I finally purchased the alternative medication at 6 pm after trying to get it since 9 am that morning! I still only ate 1618 which is great because of my exercise during the day [880 calories])

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