Friday Freewrite Fifteen

I love to Freewrite. I had a talk with Vida and her mother in law on the boat about writing every day, and how her mother in law did this with her book club using The Artist's Way as a guide. I wish I could have talked to them more. They were nice people from Oregon. :)

Anywho, I am back to just plain old freewrites. So no charming pictures of European destination cities and villages or crazy videos of me tasting the local cuisine. Just me and my thoughts. No attention to grammar, punctuation, or spelling. Just writing continually for fifteen minutes without stopping. 

Thirty hours after returning from our wonderful trip, I hosted our book club to discuss Into Thin Air by John Krakauer, and it received an average score of 8. People really liked it, and the discussion was so stimulating to me. I am so glad that I suggested this book. It was our first time using one of the Corvallis Benton County Library Book Club Bags. It went really well. I really like this group of women. The make up of the group has shifted slightly, and I am more comfortable now than I was when I left for a break seven years ago. Or perhaps I am different. I am more and more comfortable in my own skin. More and more able to not feel uncomfortable with disagreement and debate and expressing my own opinion or emotions. I love growing up. It is so nice. 

I suppose I have to credit much of that to two things: 

1) Spiritual Direction - Making time for a monthly meeting with someone consistently for the last two years has been so healthy for me. Sister Joan was very sporadic (off and on from 2015-2017), but every time I met with her, I walked away with significant opportunities to grow, and I think I did (2016 and my sabbatical and also by setting a boundary with someone not healthy for me at the time come to mind). Then I had Fran to help me think through the whole Renovare Institute suitability and the great decision that God directed me to with just the right amount of questions and listening from Fran. Then Mike, who led me through the Spiritual Exercises so that my challenge from a family member was worked through so wonderfully with much observation and affirmation from him. Then back to Fran, and her encouragement as I embarked on this river cruise with George to keep my focus on the most important things and not worry if someone does not like me or accept me was so crucial to my soul growth. Even sitting with lawyers who can be challenging for me because of directness and absolutely falling in love with these smart women! I am going to cry. 

2) Enneagram - I will always be thankful for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a tool for growth through my 20s-50s, but this new era of learning and studying this has added a whole new layer of "aha" moments with God. I strongly disagree with Christians who think it is a terrible thing. (That is another subject for another freewrite.) It has so helped me grow. It has helped me to stop, wake up, and listen to God when I do things that are not the person Christ has renewed me to be. This trip helped me so much to see some of my patterns and to STOP in the midst of them and smile and say, "Nope, I will not operate out of an unhealthy pattern of relating or obsess over someone not liking me or feeling like I said the wrong thing or disappointed them. I will stop and listen to that 'still, small voice' of God who speaks truth into my soul if I am quiet enough to listen." I DID stop and woke up and listened. They are little subtle things, but I can see how helpful it has been. 

That was a very fast fifteen minutes, but it was so fun. I said to our group last night that Krakauer had to write that account of the Everest disaster because writers have to write, and I am one of those people who has to write. I just have to express myself this way. (And FYI, Helper Type Two personalities really benefit going to a Healthy Type Four creative side, and this is part of that creative side that I must do - that and photos - that is why the blog and pictures with the blog were so important to me on our river journey last week. It helped me so much. I think photojournalism is my creative passion really. Pictures united with words are what makes my heart sing. So grateful for Trapdoor - Wait, the Freewrite ended eight minutes ago, and this writer is STILL writing! ACK!)