BUT, I did go see Ester, and that was lovely. She is doing so well at the Mennonite Village Rehab Center. I still felt weird about my morning and had gotten a journal at the Book Bin to process when a ZINGER of an email came in. WOW! Again, I should trust my discernment, God gave it to me for a reason! I have had concerns, but I want to always extend grace and continue to love. While I will continue to do that, I will be more cautious in how I proceed in the future. I was misunderstood and confronted based on the false assumption. Ginny said, "Do not accept criticism for something you are not guilty of." I do have a blameless conscience, but I will endeavor to be more sensitive to this person's particular filter and perceptions. I know she has had a hard life and may be projecting. I don't want to assume that though.
George took time off of work to talk and process with me about the situation. Lovely man. I addressed the issues, but they were again misperceived and more accusations followed, and I apologized for coming across that way. I know that I need to be "all things to all people," and with this particular person, I need to be careful with how I communicate, and I will definitely do that from now on. Filters are filters and perception is reality; and while my character and integrity have been called into question through this situation, I have a clear conscience. Nevertheless, I WILL endeaver to persevere in love and be very sensitive. It is a good exercise in adaptation and being fervent in my love.
Then, I journaled until the wee hours of the morning. Tough stuff. God gave this to me as I was preparing my post for 2 Corinthians 1 that really hit the nail on the head for the situation:
“Misunderstandings among God’s people are often very difficult to untangle, because one misunderstanding often leads to another. Once we start to question the integrity of others or distrust their words, the door is opened to all kinds of problems. But, no matter what his accusers might say, Paul stood firm because he had a clear conscience. What he wrote, what he said, and what he lived were all in agreement.[1] 2 Corinthians 1
[1]Wiersbe, W. W. (1996, c1989). The Bible exposition commentary. "An exposition of the New Testament comprising the entire 'BE' series"--Jkt. (2 Co 1:12). Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books.
God is so good. This is the situation to a "T." They can accuse me all they want of not being humble about receiving confrontation (which was more criticism than a true Biblical confrontation), but I am not going to, as Ginny said, "accept criticism for what I am not guilty of." (I added this part later because Ginny didn't say this to me until Saturday, but she gave words to what I already was feeling) Confront me on something I did, not on something you ASSUME I meant or did.
Joy has returned this morning. It is a new day. I can move on. The troubles are far away.
I still don't know about my web browser. It won't open any pages. I am using Geo's dinosaur! I love the keyboard though. Very nice.
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