Friday Freewrite Fifteen

Two in one week. OH MY! 

Musings on Heaven with Chris Hall and Nathan Foster

It is podcasts like this that make me love Renovaré. It does make me go "oh my" like Augustine. Heaven is our "fondest hopes fulfilled infinitely." We have glimpses of it now. It gives me such hope. I love Renovaré people. There is a part of me that still feels like I am on the outside looking in. It is something I have struggled with the whole time I have been doing this. It is a lot of time. It is so academic. More academic than I thought. I am not sure it really is for me. I am leaving this in your hands to reveal to me in your time. I love you, and I know that you do speak. I think my trip to France will be a time to totally unplug. I want to be totally there with all my heart, Lord.

So, I am waiting on you. I hope in you. 

What else am I thinking about. I love our Kingdom Community. I think everyone will be glad to have their Thursdays free again, but I want to keep the fire burning. I love the challenge of this community. I love seeing their hearts in prayer. I think the little hiccup last week was OK for us. I love that. 

Yesterday two friends initiated, and that was so good to spend four hours of face-to-face time with friends. One is closer than another. One, I have more in common with ministry-wise, and she really made an effort to listen to me saying, "Enough about me, how are you and Jesus?" Lord, would she be someone to do Spiritual Direction training with me? This is a hoop to jump through, but I really want more experience in going through the Spiritual Exercises with someone more experienced than me. Would you reveal those people you would have do this? I really want to hear your voice, Lord.

So what else am I thinking about (really freewriting here because there is no specific topic I am pursuing with this freewrite)? Oh, today is George's day. I am so glad that Kim and I decided to meet yesterday because George has been called up to meet with his new boss. He is so sad to lose his old one, but the supervisor over him has caused him to leave. He is not a good supervisor, and no one likes him. I think if George's two best friends at work leave, he will probably leave. I am wondering if you might bring him back here so I can have him with me here every night. Lord, would you make it so? I do miss him, but I am a "what is, is" kind of person so have made do with what you have given me. I am content.

Love my students this term, Lord. I have at least half returning students in my advanced class, and they are a great group. I hope they are growing. They are all great. I am so surprised. 40% of all college students struggle with anxiety and depression of some sort during their college years. It is such a crucial time. I want to be a person who lifts them up and loves them. I want them to learn skills from doing Pilates that will help in pain management and with mind/body connection. Lord, help me to be an instrument of yours. Help me to be salt and light. I think I will play that song. I love that song. I cannot remember the artist, but it is such an nice thing. Two minutes left. I will go up with George and bring The Transforming Friendship to finish and Sacred Companions and Living Wisely with the Church Fathers. 

Should I say something to Carolyn about my doubts? Please advise. I want to do your will. I think I will stop now. It is only 6:21, but I have already been up for two hours. I had a good examen prayer time. I am a big promoter of the prayer of examen. I think that is why I want to switch to Spiritual Direction training. It is half the price, a smaller group, teaches me the Ignatian exercises, and more personal and less academic! Those are all things that are really appealing to me. I wonder if Fran can lead it instead of Dan, and I can get 7 other girlfriends to do it. Lord, would you lead and guide in that way? Jennie and Barbie and Kim. I would love that!

I love you Lord. :) I think it is going to ring any minute now. Any second now. What fun to get back to doing more freewrites. I would be so relieved to not have to do another academic and praxis paper, Lord.  I don't mind writing them but the critiquing and knit picking really bugs me! UGH! 



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