38. It's Not OK: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After

I am embarrassed to say that I even read this book! It certainly was not one I would ever buy or even put on hold for that matter.

I was at the library last Sunday, and I already had a pile of books on Iran (going there this summer), Farsi language CDs, a book on the Appalachian trail, numerous Iranian films, and a book about introverts in church. This book was on display at the end of one of the library shelves, and I threw it in the pile.

Since I have worked with women who have come out of abusive relationships, I wanted to get inside this woman's head.

This franchise has always intrigued me. So, I thought an inside perspective would help me understand why anyone would want to do a show like that.

I came away thinking: she is a very shallow, immature person. If she wanted to make her ex-fiancé look bad, she did that; but she made herself look even worse. I feel so sorry for her. She is not very self-reflective and takes no personal responsibility for anything. I feel like she is a little girl lost with very little integrity as a person. (Who splits the seam while trying on pants in a department store and does not tell the store and offer to pay? Who has "revenge" sex months after breaking up with her ex-fiancé and is proud of it? YUK!) The reviews I have read were pretty aghast at her behavior also.

She was afraid of losing her dignity by doing these shows, and I think she has. But hey, she is making  more money now doing pretty frivolous things than she did being a lawyer who put away gang members in Atlanta. It is so sad she has sold out to all of this.

Getting inside this woman's head made me realize she needs a good therapist and a reality check.

Her ex-fiancé does end up looking very bad. There is no question in my mind that, if her allegations are true, he is a typical narcissistic personality type and verbally abusive and quite shallow (I have seen him on TV, and I could have told you that within two seconds). But she is pretty shallow herself. It is pretty disgusting how she describes men in such a sexual way.

One more thing: her gratuitous use of the "F" word is very off-putting.

Not impressed.

I think it is funny that I would read this book after reading Saint Athanasius and The Great Omission by Dallas Willard and concurrent with listening to a Dallas Willard book called Renovation of the Heart. In many ways it was a modern day example of a non-renovated heart!

I do hope she finds God someday. That is when the true fun begins!

My foray into popular culture has now ended, and I will go back to my regularly scheduled book reading.


"Did she really just write that? OMG, she totally just wrote that....Downright shocking." (USA Today)

"[Dorfman's] delivering plenty of surprising (and some disturbing) details." (


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