Feeling No Hope for Days Gone By

That sounds so deeply sad, but I guess I should elaborate.

I went to Lamppost today, and I was the last person to post there early last night. Gone are the days of Trapdoor Society where you would leave a post and ten people would respond to what you had said and the dialogue went on for days. Now, I think there are eleven people there where there had been probably 50 regular posters and another 50 occasional posters and another 50 lurkers!

It makes me sad, but you know what? It is peaceful! Gone are the days of provocative posting that always ended in a big conflict, lots of tears, and people calling me on the phone. Gone are the days when people would post a "zinger" to me that would sting me to the core and make me sad because I felt very misunderstood. Gone are the nasty emails! In fact, I got my last "nasty" one (from that person who was usually nasty to me, but now is very nice because the drama in her marriage is now known) the night before we left our church. We got all the drama out of our life in less than 24 hours between June 15 at 8 pm & 16 at 3 pm (when we walked out the doors of our church for the last time!).

No more drama in both areas is a very good thing.

There was so much drama in that online community. Now, everyone gets along, but they aren't very committed to the group.

In looking at the 17 people in the retreat picture from seven years ago in South Carolina (before everything hit the fan), we have:

5 divorces

2 separations (One of which is already headed to divorce. The other is hopeful)

1 separation but back together and rocky

3 undetermined, but rocky, at best

6 still together and strong

I asked one friend, who is separated, whether she thought that some of her marriage difficulties played into her posting, and she said, "Most definitely."

So, all that to say is that there was a ton of drama on the board, but it had much to do with the drama playing out in their homes that we could not see.

I do miss the stimulating dialogue, but I do not miss the drama.

The online community has also dispersed to things like Facebook, and I don't mind. Facebook is friendly. I like the occasional "hi" on Facebook with those old and dear friends, but I also like how Facebook integrates my local friends. They even interact with each other, and that makes me smile.

Some of those online people still congregate on Facebook in the form of "tagged" notes. Last week, one of them had a tagged note with a great quote. I wasn't included, and it stung a bit, but I guess there was a reason for it. It seems like there are little splinters of people in the group maybe based on their life changes. While walking on the beach with Julie, she told me about someone's "guy" like I already knew, and I knew nothing about it. This was my rhetorics partner from the TWEM classics, and we had shared deep things. Now, she doesn't even tell me there is a "guy" in her life after her divorce (maybe because she told me that this guy was out of the picture when she was separated from her husband, but I guess he really wasn't).

So, a part of me is out of the loop, but a part of me doesn't mind not being a part of the drama anymore. Nobody reads this blog anymore either. I am not part of most of their "blog rolls" either, but I think they all still like me. So, I think I have good individual relationships with all of them. I am just not "in the group loop," and that is OK.

Just musing on a Thursday morning! Off to Isaiah.