Well, the morning was devoid of rain, and I had a great walk. Now, the rain has come, and I am still OK. I am listening to Ginny Owen. I don't know what it is about that woman, but she always speaks to my heart. She is a person who was formally in bondage, and I know that is where I used to be. Set free from the bondage of people's approval.
I feel like I have been set free, but sometimes I walk back in through the open doors without realizing it. I think I have inched closer to the door this month. People disapproving of how I do "me," and that is so hard for me. I had to set a boundary this morning. Had to say no when I had purposed before the Lord to set the next five days apart for rest and refreshment. I was challenged before the morning was out. I said "no," but I am in sitting in the prison room, my old familiar room that I used to inhabit. The door is open, but I am just sitting here looking at the comfortable walls. They whisper at me, "Well, you do have the day off. Your field trip was canceled. So, what would it matter if you had to spend this afternoon calling women to recruit them to serve communion on Sunday?"
Yet, I do know what it has done to say NO in the past. I like life outside the prison. The sky is so BIG outside those walls. I put a ceiling on God when I go back to that prison. I don't feel God leading me to call a bunch of women this afternoon. I hear Him calling me to worship and rest. I am doing the business of communion.
The fact that I haven't read ONE book this month should be an indication that I have been doing too much.
Lord, I felt so condemned by Shawn yesterday. So, not heard. So, not encouraged. BUT yet, you invite me to come and dine with YOU.
I hear you calling. I am off to read that book that my neighbor wrote:
How appropriate for a THIS day.
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