SO there are three instinctual variants within each number. SOCIAL, SEXUAL (meaning one on one preference and intimacy that way that can include sexual - I wish there were a better word), and SELF-PRESERVATION. Self-Preservation is my WEAKEST. Hudson would call it your blind spot. And it is definitely mine! So, he has some exercises in this variant. So I am going to write about how I have been doing over the last three weeks since I started taking the class (or has it been only two - I entered a week late).
His assignment: Notice how much time you focus on the three zones of Self Preservation: Self-Care and Wellbeing Practical skills and Maintenance Domesticity, Safety and Comfort
SELF-CARE AND WELLBEING
Well, I am glad you asked Mr. Hudson. Actually, my question was the first one he answered during this session. I have reflected on my life, and this was one that I was forced into due to a nervous breakdown at 23 years old and chronic back problems since junior high. As far as physical self-care, I have to do it or I will be an invalid. So, I have made a career out of it so I force myself to care for my spine. Before my breakdown, I had gone down to ZERO exercise. It was sick. I was "serving the Lord" to an unhealthy degree. I was taking no time for self-care. ZERO. So, cardio has been good since 23. I do it for my mental health. Sweat is so good for your emotional well-being. Just sayin'.
Spinal care was not so great until that major blow out of my back in 2009. In fact, I think it was TODAY nine years ago! I could look to see. I document everything. I know it was one of the "teen" days in December when I got up to go to the bathroom and screamed so loud that my kids ran up from the basement to find out what was all a clatter! I was in bed for five weeks! Yes, I had done Pilates a bit. I had done weight lifting, but I did not have a coordinated flexibility and strength plan. Enter consistent Pilates and then become a personal trainer three years ago (It might have been this very day too!). Learned so many things about self-myofascial release through rolling and then stretching. I have strengthened through Pilates and weight training. So, body self care is going GREAT.
Well-being. I think SOUL CARE has been what I have focused on lately. I do the Examen daily. SO HELPFUL to get in touch with my emotions: consolations and desolations. Making decision based on God's deepest desires for me. SO yes, well being is going much better. I have to stop and rest and not overdue it and say NO a ton to many requests DAILY for me to HELP. But I am doing so well.
PRACTICAL SKILLS (WISDOM)
He says this is "maintaining things, making sure things work anything from a household to finances, to keeping a business going, to actually having practical skills to fix things, like I know what to do if the lawn mower or the car breaks, or how to change a tire or a light bulb. I have a certain degree of pride in my awareness of resources. I kind of know how much money I might have in the bank account. I make sure that I have the things I want to have for my home or my yard. My kitchen is stocked or my tool shed is stocked or my cleaning supplies are there and I'm aware of these things. There's a kind of instinct to maintain your world and the things that will keep it going."
Hubby and I had a LONG talk about this in the car to our Spiritual Exercises on Saturday. He is much better at this, but we still are stronger on the other two instincts! So, we made a LIST of all the things we wanted to do to get things fixed and cleaned up. Our porch light has been out for more than two years. It didn't phase me until I had someone come over from book club and tell me that. We have the lattice on our storage shed ripped for about 12 years. The plexiglass on our deck has been broken for about five. Windows have not been cleaned for about four years. So, we are doing the work that needs to be done. We are expending resources to have them done for us. George works out of town. It is OK to have someone else do it. Goodwill runs of junk sitting in the garage went yesterday. I love it!
We will see how we do when it comes to our taxes this coming year. We really don't like those.
DOMESTICITY
He says, "People strong in self-pres like to be at home. They maintain their homes. They make their homes nice to be in. It doesn't mean necessarily someone else's idea of aesthetic or comfortable, but it's comfortable to me. I have in my home what I want, the resources I need. It works for me. It's set up as a base of operations for the rest of my life. It's where I enjoy being. It's where I recharge. It's where I restore energy, like those lions. Having a home, maintaining a home, sharing a home, as I was saying relationally, that would be an important thing if I was self-pres."
I love HOME, but I am not here as much as I would like to be. So, I quit one of my jobs! I will be here more often to nest a bit more. My home is comfortable and inviting, and people usually comment on this. I am just taking more time to create sanctuary space. So, all last week, I got my "Sanctuary space" ready for spiritual direction sessions. About a month ago, we moved the treadmill down to the HUGE basement. I didn't have it down there because the kids were always down there, but now, they are both out of the house. So, it is down there ready to do my PHOTO albums once again (another thing of self-pres I have neglected for 2 1/2 years and must get back to). So, we bought wing back chairs and I put a new end table and lamp and candle and it is so cozy now. All I have left is redoing the wall that the chairs face to make it warm and comfortable with art and/or photographs. Yes, I am doing it for spiritual direction, but I am in here right now and loving this space for me too. :) YAY!
I also have cooked more and cleaned my fridge and just taken care of the house more lately. Been decluttering spaces too. It has felt so good to be domestic. My home is my refuge, but I am not taking advantage of it by working outside more than I need to. I can workout at home instead of teach a class to work out. :)
I better go. We are decorating Gingerbread Houses with the Kinkades in a few minutes!
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