My Birthday!

Today I turn 47 years old.

I feel so young.

I haven't talked about my journey to the Well-Educated Mind lately! Today I am reading Robinson Crusoe. It isn't on my "classics" list because it isn't considered a classic novel but more a precursor to the classic novel. I can see why as I read it. It is really more of a travelogue. It is an exciting one though. I think I will really like it.

I hope to dive into The Gulag Archipelego soon also. That is for my TWEM autobiography list, and it is a little harder than the other ones I have been reading lately. So, we will see how long it takes me to get through it. I really want to get back on track with the novels.

The journey of my "Well-Watered Soul" is coming along nicely too. I am learning much. There is much to humble me these days, but I am going forward with a positive attitude hoping that there is somewhere where I can fit and belong. Belonging is a big thing for me, and I am realizing that I never felt like I "belonged" at Northwest Hills. I am not sure why that it, and I am done trying to analyze it because it is no longer my problem, but there is always that fear that you may not belong somewhere else either!

Off to meditate and pray. I am so excited to be turning 47 today.

Carol

Long time no blog

I am living enthusiastically every minute. I am loving life and living large. I LOVE being free. I am mourning the loss of the women, but I am still seeing many of them. It is good to be in the place that I am in.

So, that is just a bit of an update of where I am at in this journey we call LIFE!

Carol

Wasted

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by Wasted
-Carrie Underwood

This song has been so strange for me. There have been so many times over the last few years that I have cried to George saying,

"I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I have wasted over half of my life at a dysfunctional church."

Aren't the words in this song so strangely similar to what I have been saying to him?

Carol

Dale Carnegie - Week 2

What a great program. We learned memory pegs to help us memorize the nine factors for becoming a friendlier person. I will do them from memory:

1. Do not criticize, condemn, or complain
2. Express honest, sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
4. Be interested in the other person
5. Smile
6. A person's name is the sweetest sound to them
7. Listen to the other person and encourage them to talk about themselves
8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests
9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

We discussed which ones were hard.

Then we all shared our presentations about a defining moment in our lives. What a great group of interesting people!

I won the Outstanding Performance Award for my talk about Michael learning to talk! I was also in the top three for the Breakthrough Award.

I received a Dale Carnegie pen as a prize!

What a fun class. Off to tea with Sharon Z!

Carol

A South Beach Getaway

In honor of our 16th anniversary later on this month (We are camping on our actual anniversary), we got away to South Beach, Newport for two nights of talking, reading, praying, walking, eating (at Chowder Bowl!), and just being together.

Such a valuable time during this transition time of our lives.

Dale Carnegie - Lemons to Lemonade

One of my goals with this move to a new church is to work on my interpersonal skills. I am great working with most people, but I have a hard time with the difficult people and situations. I don't handle stress or negativity well.

So, I thought the Dale Carnegie Course would be a positive step in helping me overcome these obstacles in my life and have inhibited me from effective mnistry in the past. I am committed to upgrading! So, I figured that $1700 was a small price to pay for upgrading.

Taking this class has been in the back of my mind for the past nineteen years. There was a man in my high school graduating class who took the course back in the eighties. It was great to run into him at a restaurant the day after my ten year high school reunion and see a positivity in his life that was very appealing. I know that only Jesus can transform us, but I also know that John Maxwell even recommends that we go to this course, even though it is secular.

After this first class, I sent my old classmate an email, and I am hoping he responds to my question about it. I want to know how it affected his life. and is still affecting his life 20 years later.

The first course was fantastic. It was the most positive and encouraging 3 1/2 hours that I have spent in a long time. We learned each other's names through association. We developed our vision of where we see ourselves in three to six months and many other things. So far, it hit it out of the ballpark for me.

I love the fact that they believe that you build on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. After such a negative year with negative people over me and working with me. It was a breath of fresh air to be around positive people again.

I am Making lemonade out of the lemons. Such a fun journey!

Life is grand, and sipping lemonae these days.

Carol

Fabulous Fourth

We went to the C's annual BBQ at Willamette Park, and it was a blast. Water balloons, water guns, tug-0-war, sack races and just good friends and laughter. That is what I carry with me about the people at my old church.

They are a wonderful group of people, but I don't think I will be separating from them. I have moved on, and I am excited about the options that lay before us.

CLOSURE
I have closure on the mysteries that surrounded our exit from our church. Nan did not break confidentiality. I had a hard time believing that she would, but I had to be sure for my own sanity. She is so upfront. I know we will be friends for a long time, and this is very important to me.

So, I think I can finally move on in peace. There is a good fit for us somewhere. I have much to do to grow, and I am heading in that direction.

Tomorrow Never Comes

You will recall that the White Queen said:

"The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam today."

I was listening to Ginny Owens again today, and I have listened to this song, and I FINALLY get what it says:

Tomorrow Never Comes

It really does not every come. Therefore, I must live today to the fullest! Living in "day-tight compartments" as Dale Carnegie would say.

Waiting for Tomorrow

I'm waiting, waiting for tomorrow
Staring out my window until today is done
I'm living, living for the future
Just biding my time here '
'Til something better comes along
Resting in the shade of my daydreaming
'Til I finally awake to what's been missing


I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on
Knowing that tomorrow never comes

My trouble, trouble with tomorrow
Is that I always try to borrow
Its worries and its time
While I spend my life anticipating
Today slips away while I am waiting

I belong here in this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So, I'll run on

When today becomes far more than I can bare
I remember ?????
Is driving me every near

I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on

I belong here
In this moment in this day
Not some other place
I was made for
For a race that must be run
So I'll run on

Knowing that tomorrow never comes
Tomorrow never comes

Living for today that was glorious,
Carol

A Lovely July 3rd Evening

We spent the evening with two other homeschool families tonight. Turkey dogs, baked beans, potato salad, chips, watermelon, and lemonade.

The parents sat around and talked as the kids played out in the backyard. What a fun and intelligent group of six adults. I really enjoy these two families immensely.

We watched the sun go down as we viewed the valley floor from Vineyard Mountain.

Ahhhh......Life is so good.

Still at Peace

The transition we are in is really huge, and I have some unanswered questions that I am finally at a place to find out about. I can speculate all I want, but I needed to go to the person that I thought was the source of some of my answers.

We meet on Wednesday at 2:30, and I am praying that there will be answers that will unlock the mystery of everything.

George will meet with another person after this meeting. I am praying for everything that was exposed to the darkness will come out to the light.

You, O God, will bring every work into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. (Ecclesiastes 12:14)

My Happy Place

This is my new arrangement of the furniture in my office. This morning. I sipped Oregon Chai and sat and had a great time with God. In the photo, you see that all my study tools (Greek Word studies with Zodhiates, Vine's, Wuest, etc) are on the left hand side so that I can grab them easily. Before that, the chair was on the opposite side of the room, and I would have to get up and grab and leave them in an unsightly mess on the floor. Now, I can get them one at a time and put them right back! The room also looks twice as big, and there is more floor space where you need it. I could even do my exercises on the floor while I put the DVD in the computer and put it on the ottoman on the right!

MY HAPPY PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Room with a View

Today was a day of rest after our 16 1/2 hour car ride over the past two days. So, we rested, but George also rearranged the office furniture, and it looks so great in there. It is a new "happy place."

Happy and peaceful,
Carol

The Lord Give You Shalom

Had a wonderful morning time with Chai Tea and a word study on Peace:

It came from these two verses in my Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Spiritual Growth (I feel like I am definitely in a season of growth that I haven't experienced for quite some time.) :)

O Lord, bless us and keep us;
O Lord, make Your face shine upon us
and be gracious to us;
O Lord, turn your face toward us
and give us peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)

You have loved me, O God, and called me to be a saint; You, O God my Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ have given me grace and peace. (Romans 1:7)

This was most definitely the cry of my heart in the tumultuous time in late May and early June, and you granted it to me at the Sylvia Beach Hotel, and it has not subsided since we made the surprising decision to leave our church of 28 (me) and 20 (George) years.

So, what is peace?

Old Testament word in Numbers is Shalom. That is familiar enough. A deeper study says "peace, safety, prosperity, well-being, intactness, wholeness, peace can have a focus of security, safety which can bring feelings of satisfaction, well-being, and contentment (Strong's). Vine's says it primarily signifies "wholeness." The Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament has a more complete definition of "health and completeness." It says that it means "much more than the absense of strife. . . the root verb Shalem better expresses the true concept. . . Completeness, wholeness, harmony, fulfillment, unimpaired relationships with others and fulfillment in one's undertakings. To wish one Shalom implies a blessing. . . Shalom is the result of God's activity in covenant, and is the result of righteousness."

Isaiah 32:17-18
And the work of righteousness will be PEACE,
And service of righteousness, quietness and confidence (security) forever
Then my people will live in peaceful habitation,
And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places

The TWOT goes on that it is the "state of fulfillment which is the result of God's presence. Specifically indicated in the 'covenant of peace'."

Isaiah 54:10
"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
But my lovingkindness will not be removed from You,
And my covenant of peace will not be shaken,"
Says the LORD who has compassion on you.

I just noticed as I typed that there are two contrasts:

mountains removed/lovingkindness NOT removed
hills shaken/covenant of peace NOT be shaken

COOL!

In 1 Chronicles 22:9-10 it is associated with calmness, rest, and to be quiet.

"The classic statement of this concept is in the Aaronic benediction of Numbers 6:24-26. The man to whom God has given peace is one who is blessed (barak) guarded (shamar), and treated graciously (hanan), by Yahweh. This is fulfillment through the divine gift."

Ultimately, our sar shalom is the Prince of Peace - the one who brings fulfillment and righteousness to the earth. Christ is our peace (Ephesians 2:14) who has broken down every wall. He is the messianic prince who brings wholeness and redemption to mankind.

My prayer has been for a season of peace in my life, and I do believe that He is granting it to us.

SHALOM,
Carol