Musings on a rainy day

Well, the morning was devoid of rain, and I had a great walk. Now, the rain has come, and I am still OK. I am listening to Ginny Owen. I don't know what it is about that woman, but she always speaks to my heart. She is a person who was formally in bondage, and I know that is where I used to be. Set free from the bondage of people's approval.

I feel like I have been set free, but sometimes I walk back in through the open doors without realizing it. I think I have inched closer to the door this month. People disapproving of how I do "me," and that is so hard for me. I had to set a boundary this morning. Had to say no when I had purposed before the Lord to set the next five days apart for rest and refreshment. I was challenged before the morning was out. I said "no," but I am in sitting in the prison room, my old familiar room that I used to inhabit. The door is open, but I am just sitting here looking at the comfortable walls. They whisper at me, "Well, you do have the day off. Your field trip was canceled. So, what would it matter if you had to spend this afternoon calling women to recruit them to serve communion on Sunday?"

Yet, I do know what it has done to say NO in the past. I like life outside the prison. The sky is so BIG outside those walls. I put a ceiling on God when I go back to that prison. I don't feel God leading me to call a bunch of women this afternoon. I hear Him calling me to worship and rest. I am doing the business of communion.

The fact that I haven't read ONE book this month should be an indication that I have been doing too much.

Lord, I felt so condemned by Shawn yesterday. So, not heard. So, not encouraged. BUT yet, you invite me to come and dine with YOU.

I hear you calling. I am off to read that book that my neighbor wrote:



How appropriate for a THIS day.

One day later. I am on a roll!

I read a quote in my journal this week that hit me:

"Every evening before bed, write the story of your day.
And make it interesting. Never tell a boring story."

Sr. Jose Hobday

I think I will use this blog more as a story of my day.

Like that.

Carol

P.S. Found a picture of this Sister on the web, but I can't figure out how to post it. Here is the URL:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/63902551@N00/18763424

Last time it was five, and this time it is only one

The pressure is on because people have this Blog address. I have had it for so long (this is my second one), but I never have given the address to anyone.

I have also been journaling like mad in my cursive writing journal. I like the process of writing "by hand" as opposed to typing on my computer.

Well, I had done a whole long post, and it didn't post! UGE. So, I am doing this again.

Homeschooling

Getting done in three hours lately. They are just into focusing and getting it over. Loving the process of learning with these guys. Learned about where the term Oklahoma Sooners came from (People who hid in the bushes and got into Oklahome before the land rush in the 1880's).

We are almost done with history. It has taken us five years, and I laugh when I think we did it in one year when Michael was in 2nd grade.

I am glad we didn't go to pre-Algebra. I like this review year for Michael. It was a good decision.

Reading is Winnie the Pooh for Paul and Hank for Michael.

They are writing more. They are even enjoying this Greek/Latin Vocabulary book I got. I am so excited about that. Grammar always goes fast and easy.

Science is the human body, and it is in my field of expertise (Nutrition required lots of physiology and I always smoked in those courses in college). So, I am enjoying the science journey this year. I especially enjoy our subscription to www.brainpop.com . Very good investment of $70 for the year of subscription.

Well-Educated Mind

I have not been diligent. Need to get on track with the Autobiographies. They help me to relax. I need to know this. I am reading All Rivers Run to the Sea by Elie Weisel. I was glad to see that Oprah's pick was also one of his books. That is providential, and I need to jump on it. Miss the interaction.

Discussing Madame Bovary with the Book Dames on Saturday at Susan's. I am looking forward to that.

Discussed Da Vinci Code with Book Babes, and I gave it a zero on principle. That man is going to have to answer to God for his "fiction." He is leading many people astray. I liked his writing, but I didn't like where he went with it.

Well-Watered Soul

Time with God has been sweet. I have revived my journaling after a break. I filled up a huge journal in three months. So much to process with the Lord these days with my class. I am glad to learn more of how to have a 24/7 dependence in prayer and presence. I thinking I am getting it. God told me something significant in October, and I keep going back to it. "Carol, I don't allow people to hurt you. I allow you to see in their character and life so that you can pray for them." I have had so many opportunities to apply this and not be so sensitive, especially with someone in this class with a razer sharp tongue and clueless about it hurtfulness. She is sad. I feel for her. I can pray for her and not be hurt by her. It is revolutionary. I am not good at blowing people off because of my sensitive heart.

Family

Sweet Michael turned fourteen yesterday, and we went out to Elmer's to celebrate. It was such a joy to sit across from these young men and lean on my man's shoulder. Life is good with these three. I can never take these moments for granted. I treasure them every day. They are the best thing about my life, and I am aware that they are all three a gift.

One month later, I return to my blog

Someone said that they check this regularly, and I haven't even updated it for a month.

I journal so much in cursive in my journal book that it seems redundant to journal here, but the pressure is one to keep up with the others that are now into Blogging. I started this such a long time ago. This is my second blog. My other one just wasn't there one day. This one has lasted longer.

Well, let's update:

Homeschooling

We have just gotten into being very efficient. We get everything done in about three hours now. (Not including their time with read alouds at night) I love their focus and their determination. It is fun to homeschool them. I love that 7th grade math is all review if you decide not to skip to pre-algebra. :)

I also am looking forward to being through the entire span of history for the second time. To think that we did ALL history in one year when Michael was in second grade, and it has taken five years to get through it all this time! Of course, this time has been more detailed.

I am sure they will like to get back to ancient history or we may take a year and do church history. I don't know yet.

Science is a breeze since it is the human body and in my field of study from college. I just didn't enjoy Physics stuff last year. Too impersonal.

Well-Educated Mind

Sniff, sniff. With all my busyness of this Women Becoming class, my passions have collided. I miss reading and reflecting with Nikki. I must carve out the time regardless because it is one of the things that really does relax me! I am reading All Rivers Run to the Sea by Elie Weisel (I can't turn the italic off, oh well!)

Book Clubs

Sniff, sniff. We had our last time at Burton's Restaurant. This family-owned business shut down on Sunday. It was sentimental for me as we discussed the Da Vinci Code. By the way, I thought DVC was well-written; but, on principle, I gave it a zero. I don't like the way he portrays Catholics. I don't like the false things he proposes (even though he hides behind it and says it is fiction. I think he has lots of explaining to do to God.

Well-watered Soul

Well, time with Jesus is usually so very good. I have been journaling a ton, and I especially liked journaling prior to the conference. I prayed for each woman in there. I haven't had any Bible Study to do in the last couple of months because of a break in Women Becoming, and I am ready to dig into these doctrinal studies and study a BOOK too!

I am just very convinced that as God has stretched me this year, He has really taught me more of a "Brother Lawrence" like existence. This is part of my pray of 25 years ago, to have a minute-by-minute experience of His presence in the daily grind of life and ministry. I think "Be anxious for nothing" is more and more real in my life. Praise God.

Ministry

Well, we had our Women Becoming Conference, and it was a HUGE success. I am very proud of the women in this group. Some did not contribute very much, but that is the nature of the job descriptions. Learned so much about leading. I have really grown in my capacity for people and handling their issues without letting myself getting "caught in the fray." Good things. I am also seeing the need to always ask for prayer when I need it.

Well, someone may be happy that I posted. I don't know if anyone will even read this, but I am done for the night.