Freewrite Wednesday

I have not done a freewrite on here since September. Again, I do my daily "Morning Pages" (a la Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, but it is easier for me to type them than write them out and then have to store the paper), but I have been doing it on Penzu.com. I like the confidentiality of a true freewrite that no one reads. I can be totally transparent. Most of the time, I was transparent here, but I would have to not mention some names and places. But I am in the mood to be here for today.

Discernment

Yesterday, I went to my first Renovare Book Club in 9 cycles where I was not the leader! I started leading in 2016 with the one woman from Portland. It was so nice to go and not have to prepare anything. 

The leader did such a good job! I loved just being a participant. 

We read In Search of God's Will, by Trevor Hudson. It is Ignatian discernment light. I think it is a user-friendly way to expose people to Ignatian Spirituality. The discussion was lovely, and there are two new people, one of whom I have known for 35 years. So that was fun.

Walking

I had not felt well from Saturday morning until Money morning, but I was dying to go on a walk. I wanted to walk to campus, but I pooped out at about an hour, but I was a block away from Teala's house. So, I dropped in and had a lovely time catching up. I think we had not seen each other since Debbie came at the end of July! So, we were due. 

I think, looking at my personal customary (Personal Rule of Life - General Rule of Life is the Order of the Mustard Seed vow to be True to Christ, Kind to People, and Take the Gospel to the Nations) that I need to be in touch with a least one soul friend monthly. 

She fed me lunch, and I was felt better. Could part of my sickness be how heavy I felt about my time recently with a group where something was off? I was able to express my sadness to Teala, and that really helped. (There is growth in community.)

I walked back and met George halfway. 

George

That day I took a walk; he had two meetings at church. He has been so diligent about meeting with people both in groups and one-on-one. He is such a peaceful person. He is a good person for people to go to and talk about things. 

Games

I realized that a lot of my energy will be going to OSU Women's Basketball games in the fall and winter. We are taking Aki even after Big Carol returns because we can park closer to Gill, and Aki has a hard time walking from the parking lot to Gill. So, Carol will come to Aki's. Then we will drive them both to Gill. That will be nice. I will need to allow for it in my people energy schedule. It takes a lot out of me to go to a big game with the noise and all the people. I want to be balanced in my energy output, and my biggest priority will be energy for my family and my spiritual directees. 

Spiritual Direction

Part of the book we read, In Search of God's Will, was about finding your own . . . Well, I will quote Trevor (who is partly quoting someone else):

"God sends each person into this world with a special message to deliver, with a special song to sing for others, with a special act of love to bestow."* No one else can speak my message, or sing my song, or offer my act of love. These are entrusted only to me.

* Francis Dewar, Invitations: God's Calling on Everyone -- Stories and Quotations to Illuminate the Journey (London: SPCK, 1996), 9.

My special ministry and song are 1) the ministry of spiritual direction (specifically direction to directors) and facilitating the Spiritual Exercises for groups and individuals, and 2) the song of joy in delight-driven service.

I will have my cardboard sign up that says. Oh, I have the picture here somewhere. Let me find it....

It started during my second time through the Exercises with this word during the Call of the King Exercise. 

Then, I made a cardboard sign in the 2HC:

And that is where I have landed. I want to bring these things to training directors who have a vision for Communities of Contemplatives in Action!

We will see. :)