Saturday, September 04, 2021

Freewrite of Peace and Walking with God Outside

 

It is just a humble leaf, but when you walk with your senses,
little things become so significant!

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray. Luke 5:16


I contacted Mount Angel Abbey this morning for a private retreat. I have been going on days of solitude and prayer since 1979. So good for my soul.  . . . (Their prices have skyrocketed. So I contacted the Queen of Angels Monastery instead. They didn't have anything but someone canceled at 4:20 yesterday. So I got in at HALF the price!)

I started this post on Wednesday, and it is Saturday. So here I go starting again. 

This is the lovely meditation about Jesus going to lonely places to pray. If it is not at the link anymore after a while, you can find it in my DropBox:

Pray as you go (pray-as-you-go.org)

DropBox:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/brlbwlyp9bpjys0/22.6%20Lk%204%2042-44.mp3?dl=0

It is 9 am, and I am going to write for 15 minutes.

I had sent the "Walk with God in Nature" recording to one of my international friends, and she was going to go do it in her country. I have not done it in a few months. So after our time from 6-7am this morning, I thought I would take a walk with God!

I walked down Highland/10th to the track near the Boys and Girls Club. I loved the blue sky against the green trees that lined the track. I noticed they had put a fence up separating the clinic from the track. I used to cut through there, but I guess I won't be able to do that again.

The thing that hit me most was a fallen leaf with gorgeous fall colors. I don't think it was one left over from last year because those leaves that are left on the ground are more withered. Could it be the first fall leave drop of 2021? I will post a picture of it. It was multi-colored. 

Another thing I noticed is that I could hear the birds singing (along with the sounds of trucks madly trying to get the remodeled Garfield School ready for the students coming two days after Labor Day), but I hardly saw any flying. That is the difference when I am out in nature, proper. I especially saw so many birds with George last Saturday when we went to the Freeway Lakes in our kayaks. So I did see one that was perfectly timed for my looking.

I really had so much to be grateful for. We live in this peaceful country. There are no Taliban harassing us as we walk along the street. I can walk in shorts and a T-Shirt without my head covered. The sky was so beautiful (I am still tempted to go for another kayak journey down the river with George dropping me off and picking me up at the take-out). So there you have it. I loved my reflective walk with nature. I remember doing that in June 2020 and being so healed from that person who racked me over the coals at the end of 2019. It took so long to heal from that, but I really and truly am healed from it. 

All that said, I also did a weekly Examen prayer time, and I think it is good. I felt dismissed and disrespected by someone this week. It was someone I barely know. It is someone who does not "get" what my team is trying to accomplish. But it is someone who is in charge. So, I had to let go and let that person make a decision that I disagreed with and seemed impractical and made without any regard for others. He is younger than me. It is something I find increasingly more common. Of course, the CEOs around me are going to be younger because most my age have retired by now! LOL! So I reviewed it, and I saw the beauty of the process. I DID speak my opinion. I did it respectfully, but then  I let it go, and my partner was so kind in understanding how I felt in the process (he was in on the meeting too). I think one of my issues is the male/female dynamic. I think it is intrinsic in many males to believe that ARE in charge and know more. So there is a little bit of patronizing that happened that I noticed, but I am so used to the subtle dynamics of male/female relationships in my company that I just have to say "oh well." Actually, I realized that issue is not a "hill I will die on" because I definitely have "bigger fish to fry" in helping my dear friends out of the chaotic country. So I let it go. I live for another day and a future day when this CEO really and truly GETS IT. I think that person has a way to go and is totally blind to his blind spot. This was confirmed to me by a good friend who works with him on a regular basis and wants to start something with me and my partner that will coincide with what we are doing, but this particular person GETS IT totally because he is my buddy, and we have been in cahoots about change in our organization for YEARS!

Oh, that was good to process AGAIN! LOL!

Layer upon layer and the timer for 15 minutes is ringing! 

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