Christian Kidding: a post from Jeremiah 13 in the Bible Book Club
Got "jibed" last Friday night, and I still don't understand why. When I said I didn't understand, I got "jibed" for not understanding. No apologies for the sarcasm. It flustered me. I am not accustomed to that sort of treatment, and I tried to set a boundary, telling the person I don't get joking and take things pretty literally. When they persisted, I told them I also don't like to be laughed at. I have seen this person do it with others, and I have not gotten that person's joke then too. It leaves me confused. I suppose I "should" get it, but even three days later, I do not get the joke. While it might have made that person feel "bad" that I set a boundary, it is fine to so if I respond in love. That is what I am praying for today. This is an excerpt from a post of another time someone jibed. I will also say that I have had others write me personally to tell me how much they have liked this post. I think this is a common problem. So glad that I do not have anyone in my family (husband and sons) who does this!
Last night, I had a "put down" from someone I have not been around for quite some time. One of my biggest steps toward growth and change in my life has been to choose to be around people who edify and build up rather than tear down. I used to choose to be in fellowship where there were too many people relying on sarcasm to relate with people (probably out of deep insecurities). I call it "Christian kidding," and it used to devastate me (not only to receive it but to watch it happen to others) because the culture was filled with people like that. I cannot tell you how many times I would walk away from "fellowship" time absolutely devastated by the cutting remarks and "zingers" that came flying out of people's mouths toward each other. I felt like I was constantly dodging bullets that were flying across the room. I question whether it was even biblical fellowship because Hebrews 10:24, 25 says we are to "consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds."
Now, the bulk of my fellowship is with people who encourage and edify (thankfully, most of the people at this party were of that persuasion), but there were a couple of people (from my past fellowship) who continue to do that on a regular basis. It shocked me because I just do not encounter it very much anymore (it still happens, but it is more the exception than the normal mode of relating).
My OLD way of dealing with it would have been to be very hurt and sinfully dwell on the jibes. Introspection can be a real TRAP, and I would often find myself trapped in it! I might have even lost some sleep over it.
Last night, I was able to see the sarcasm for what is really was (insecurity, attention, etc.), and God allowed me to just use it as an opportunity to pray and extend grace to them! I did not sinfully dwell and become introspective! I did not recall past offenses that they had done toward me and make a case for their condemnation. They did not become an "idol" in my life! I did not even cry or have a pity party. My sinful ego was not damaged by the cutting remarks! I was free to LOVE.
Maybe you cannot understand this, but this is real growth for me, and I am so happy that God has allowed me to not continue in my old sinful pattern of relating with challenging people. I was able to extend grace and even have a great time of love with those people.