I almost didn't go to Book Babes this morning. I was ready to crawl in a hole after the bomb of last night. However, I had been up since 4:30, and I had journaled and prayed. So, I got my iPod and camera and walked in the wonderful sunshine to downtown. (About a 45 minute walk) I did call M to find out if we were OK, and she said that we were totally fine. I mourn the loss of what working together would have looked like. That was one drawback of my decision.
Almost to town, I found some of the most lovely flowers.
I think seeing the beauty in each new day is what is important when you have something hard happen. So, just the effort to stop in the middle of my walk to photograph the lovely flowers was enough to really cheer me up. Stop and smell the roses. There is something to that statement even if these aren't roses. :)
Then, I got to Book Babe, and a cup of Big Train Chai in a cheery yellow cup, a nice waitress, a empathetic ear from Carol, and talking about a fun book started to lift me.
How can your spirits not be lifted by going to a cafe that has the name Sunnyside Up and posters like this in their window?
And then there was this sweet little girl with her dad going to do the St. Patrick's Day Fun Run:
Then, talking with Rosemary and her husband at the run was fun. Why didn't I take a picture of you Rosemary? Did you win a prize?
Then, I walked down to the river and took lots of pictures of ducks while I talked on the phone with Kim:
I even did this with one hand. I have a funny story about what happened while I was talking to Kim at www.carol365.blogspot.com.
Then, after this, I went to the library and got House of Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne and Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife (Sequel to Pride and Prejudice and later taken back because it was pornographic IMHO!), then, I walked to Borders and ordered a Chai Frost and sat and read the Hardy book. Then, I walked home and talked to Patty on the way home. She validated my reality about the thing that made me sad last night; and from sharing with me about her own life, she mentioned having memorized James 1 regarding her own trial of having bursitis. This really spurred me on to apply it to my own life, and it reminded me of this passage I memorized in the Philips version of the Bible:
When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your life, my brethren
Don't resent them as intruders, but welcome them as FRIENDS
Realize that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of ENDURANCE
But let that process go on until that endurance has been fully developed
And you will find that you have become a [wo]man of mature character
With the right sort of independence.
James 1:2-4 (Philips)
So, it was nice to have Patty say, "What happened was ridiculous." George also reaffirmed and validated my reality too, and he really helped me to see the character of the person who said the things she said to me last night, and you know, I actually listened to his assessment. I usually don't believe him because I think he is biased toward me. I remember him telling me this summer that he can tell me truth about good things about me over and over, but I don't want to listen to him (he really was crazy to marry me, right?) Well, I am listening to him now, and that is a very good thing. He is a wise man who shoots straight and tells it like it is.
Then, I finally got to talk through it with Kim H., and we were able to talk through what happened. Not, at all like the conversation I had with the other person last night. It just reaffirmed for me that Kim H. is a very good friend, and I love her very much.
So, I got off the phone and everything lifted. It was all the lovely things that led up to this too. The sunshine and exercise and picture taking and lovely sights of Corvallis and ducks mating and talks with friends and prayer and reading and chai teas and face-to-face contact with lovely people.
So, the cherry on top was also talking to Teala and having her come to church with me tonight and meeting Claudia and talking to Debbie on the way to church on the cell phone and having her tell me that what happened to me was just a bunch of "hokey-poky" LOL!
So, I sit here tonight a changed woman. Thanks God. Thanks for friends and dear husband and lovely, sunny days. I really have been able to spread that letter out to you and have let you take it from me.