Yesterday, I sprang out of bed with such courage and optimism. I went to my "happy place" chair and spent three glorious hours in prayer and Scriptures. Such a great morning. We had already gone to our lovely church the night before. (I love the cozy feel of the Saturday night service, and we got to meet Jamie, the AWESOME Youth Leader.) So, I had the whole day until practice at 7 p.m.
So, when George brought the kids to Youth Sunday School, he dropped me off at Timberhill, and I worked out to worship songs, classic music, and Nora Jones on the elliptical and treadmill and read about the beginning life of Solomon. What a great workout. I love the club!
George picked me up about 1 1/2 hours later when he picked up the kids, and we all brought back books to the library and went shopping together. I love my family. Nothing give me more pleasure to just hang out with them doing the ordinary. I treasure these years because I know they won't last forever. Love the men they are both becoming.
After that, George fix a fabulous Shrimp Primavera from a frozen Contessa Bagged mix. Doesn't taste artificial AT ALL. It is also on SALE all the time at Fred Meyer! We ate our lunch and watched a couple of episodes of Forsythe. Then, he went to "be good" by working on his paper for DeDe while I called my mom and talked to Kenneth! He is in Portland now, and it was great to get caught up with him. We have to get together. He is doing so well. His speech has improved so much. He just gets better and better everytime that we talk to him.
After that, I watched Religion and News Ethics Weekly (or it might have been before), ate my dinner and went to worship practice. On the way to worship practice, I talked to Debbie on my cell phone, and she is still in love.
I walked into my lovely church with the lovely women who are doing the Jubilee Conference. Then, a person from NWH walked in the door, and I immediately froze.
WAMOOO! I knew she was coming, but one look at her made me wonder. What does she know about me? What has she been told that isn't true but is the perception of a dysfunctional person and the enabling spouse. I know they are in the same small group, and I know that person is very verbal about how she feels about people.
I felt attacked, self-consious, and paranoid. What happened to the woman who sprung out of bed full of optimism just thirteen hours before?
What is wrong with me that one person walking in the room can send me into such a tailspin?
So, I focused on Jesus in worship, loved the women I was worshipping with (loving Wanda, Jewel, Betty, Karen, Melissa, and I have loved Cynthia for years!) So, it wasn't terribly bad, but I found myself traveling back in the car crying out to my God and rehearsing what I would say to those people who have wronged me if they every wanted to know what they had done (which they don't care to hear what they have done wrong and would rather blame it on me.).
I came in the door, and George knew immediately that something was wrong. Nothing said or done to me, but the demons wouldn't get off my back. I wondered through the internet and ate 500 calories worth of brie cheese and sourdough bread as I blankly looked at the screen for solice and comfort.
We watched some more Forsythe, and I layed my weary head down to rest.
"The Lord gives to His beloved even in their sleep."
I dreamed of being in a tent together with others, and we conducted some kind of experiment where there was a timed explosion that would rain radioactie dust particles in the sky, but we were safe in the tent . . . together.
I woke up refreshed and ready to go to exercise class (it beats some kind of nuclear fallout in my dream). I came in to do the elliptical and read my syrupy Christian book by a popular author's wife. (Not into it), but the cloud lifted as I sweated and saw Terri's bright and shining face this morning. Went to Group Power and love the instructors and being there with Terri.
After that, I went on the cycle and talked to Terri for an hour more. My relational cup was full.
Came back to tell George that the cloud had lifted (maybe there was symbolism in the nuclear cloud falling out of the sky!), and he said he had gotten up early and had a long quiet time and prayed for me for quite a while.
Silly. Other preventative things that I did:
Pampering evangelism (scheduled haircut with Lisa and manicure with Sherry),
Tea date with Melanie today
Breakfast with Lisa tomorrow
Put off procrastination with the teeth thing
Drank some tea
Wrote this post
Life is grand once again, and people do love me. I must not forget that in all of this. Even my partner probably loves me, but she just had a funny way of showing all of that. Most important is that God loves me.
Now, the last day or so of pouring down rain has given way to sunshine on my shoulder. One of God's way of speaking to me through the years. Thank you. Rain must fall, but it doesn't fall forever.