Saturday, February 08, 2020

Saturday Sixteen Freewrite

I haven't played my Gregorian playlist for quite a while. It is nice.

I had quite a few things going on around yesterday, and the weekend has many activities (talk with J in Afghanistan Saturday AM, OSU Women's Basketball Meet Up Saturday PM and game Sunday). So I decided to take Friday off! I listened to Dombey and Sons and took two walks, one even in the mist. It was a very refreshing day for me. I guess "technically" I didn't take the entire day off because I corrected student papers, but many of them were already in. So, I didn't have that many to grade (and only have about six this morning with the deadline being midnight today). 

I am enjoying Dombey and Sons immensely. It seems like it has been years since I read a Dickens novel. I think the last one was a reread of A Christmas Carol. They really are an investment of time as this one is a 37-hour audiobook! I think I am only about 1/3 of the ways through at this point. The good news is that no one is behind me wanting the book. So I can probably renew it if I don't get it done before its due date. 

After my day off, George came home, and we went to Nessa's parent's house for a yummy Tajik dinner and talk about what the next steps are for Nessa. It was lovely. Afterward, I had a long talk with her aunt about spiritual direction. She had never heard of it, but this couple came and spoke at their retreat, and they did a group spiritual direction time! Then she said, "They were trained with this group called Sustainable Faith." SAY WHAT! That is where my training is from! We talked for a good long time, and I thought, "Authentic one-on-one connection is what I look for." The good news is that I did not dread going to this big group dinner. Last time we went to a barbeque, people all gathered together from Nessa's church. We stayed for about an hour because the hosts (who we did know) were busy hosting, and there was one other couple that we talked to, and that was it. This time was different in that I really looked forward to it. I was relaxed, and usually, I am a bit tense about going to big group things. (Hmmm. That might be part of my problem with family functions too - I am much more one-on-one or very small group. Big groups are a bit too much for me. Another reason why I left the Renovare Institute. It was too much for me, people-wise. The Boise Cohort of 10-12 is perfect for me.) 

Well, I should give a report on my body. My leg felt so great this week. I don't wake up with a creakiness. My back also has had no aches. I had a right hip thing, but I kept on working it out, and it finally left. I think part of what I am doing it relaxing that part of my body because I usually tense it all up when I am sitting. Being more body-conscious of that area of my body has been so beneficial. It helped to do a totally relaxing Pilates class too.

Also, I have gone for FOUR DAYS without overeating. I was on a ROLL of many months of overeating there for a while. I think I gained about 10 pounds in total with my fractured tibia. So much of my maintenance is about being active, and obviously, I was not very active! So, that 10 pounds is going DOWN! I am in the zone now. Part of it is being more in tune with my body and REMEMBERING TO EAT before I go to do 3-4 hours of exercise on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I tend to eat more in the afternoon if I forget to fuel in the morning. So, that has been so good.

(Sixteen minutes is up, but I am going to keep on going.) 

I am almost up to the full activity that I was doing before the injury. I just cannot do plyometrics and too much running and lunges. So I have to modify my circuit weight-training class. That is OK though. It will come and the weight will come off too. These things cannot be avoided. 

I was being recruited to be a health coach, and I thought, "I should do their program to see how it works," but just the conversation with the recruiter made me realize that my habits for weight maintenance for YEARS had gone out the window with this injury. I prayed about being a coach for them too, and I sought counsel from my hubby and dietitian friend, and both were not supportive. I can do it without their vehicle (and products). It is much cheaper to do it the way I do it too! :) 

One more thing, I think I was emotionally eating for a while there when I was working through the trauma of my December 23 conversation. It did take me about 40 days in the wilderness where I had to combat lies with truth. In the meantime, I practiced mindless eating. Sometimes, when my mind is occupied with hurt, my "feeling/heart" triad takes over, and it is hard to balance and focus on the other triad of my body! I really think the trip to see Sister Joan was the final thing. (I think I have already said this, but Cammie was TRIAGE (to clean up the "blood" from the attack), Carol was SURGERY, and Sister Joan was REHAB AND EXERCISES to move forward and get stronger.) Oh, maybe the final thing was writing my "Terrific Ten Team" to ask them to pray. I was so flooded with peace within an hour of sending that out. I have such great friends and family. 

I have little painful pangs, but for the most part, I have come out on the other side stronger than before! I learned so many valuable lessons, and I only feel love and compassion for the other party. I have been praying daily for them, but I really had to deal with my feelings honestly before God because we Type Twos tend to "edit" our feelings and positively reframe things before we have dealt with our feelings to the depths. I went there with God, and WOW!  So YAY GOD!  

I love this deeper life with God, and the people I am around who love to go there too! 

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