Friday Freewrite Fifteen

Friday Freewrite Fifteen is so alliterative. I have a DAY with nothing on my calendar except Valentine's date dinner of some kind when George gets home. YAY! 

It was a great week. I really and truly believe that I am over that hump of grief and processing that I went through recently. God has lifted me up over The Wall. It was meant for my good. It was extremely painful, but I can look back at it with joy and love. I continue to pray for the healing of the paralytic. I am free though. This is a Friday freewrite of freedom. 

I am reading Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle, and so far, I don't find it difficult to read at all. I almost think there could be LESS commentary in it and just a straight reading of it. What is great (and I might have already mentioned it here) is that I found a Ph.D. thesis that compares Interior Castle with The Critical Journey (a book we read in spiritual direction training and will return to again in the next two modules) and The Making of a Leader by Clinton! The other two books I have read on this subject. It is a really interesting thesis, and he lives in Portland. What a small world!

Spiritually, it has been a good week meditating through the Lord's Prayer. I remember to pray over my work and weight lifting class. I think I handled a couple of things on Monday that would have sent me reeling emotionally and did not as I sought George's Type Nine opinion of both situations and sought Kim's prayer support because she is so similar. I could let it go.

What is so great is that I had a long talk with God about the anxiety I felt about Michael still not having a job, and I gave it over in the best way. Now, Michael has a job! 

So I am going to apply that same thing for George. He has had a good, almost seven-year run up there in Hillsboro, but I think it is time to have him come home. We miss each other. We have gotten so close through the separation (but we have always been pretty close). We just have not felt the need to move up there permanently. So I am asking for a great job down here and leaving it in God's hands like I did for Michael. I love my men. I love that they are hard and disciplined workers.

Physically, I am doing so great. I have realized more and more that some of my issue has been how I carry stress in my muscles. I catch myself in the act of not breathing, tightening my muscles in the pelvic and root of my spine. So I am being more conscious of not carrying the stress, doing awareness exercises, and something I learned long ago, do not sit longer than an hour at a time. I can get so focused and in my head sometimes that I don't listen to my body. So I am listening to the feedback of my body a lot more.

Pilates class has also whipped me back into shape, big time. I was sore from class this last week. So I am still not up to the same strength I was before my injury, but I am really close and can feel my muscles responding really well.

I am also on my eleventh day of disciplined eating and recording. I don't have time to be part of the LoseIt! community anymore, but I realized I was not going there for recording because I felt bad for not responding to others. I want to be reciprocal in my encouragement, but the goal is to be healthy. I do comment when I can, but I cannot spend that much time there since I already spend so much time at the computer for other things. I think I have lost four pounds. I think I gained fifteen altogether in the broken leg. I remember having to let all of that go, and I wish I had not done it, but so much of my maintenance is my activity level. Medications also make me eat more. But that is all over now. So I am on the road back down. Only eleven more to go until I am back to what I would like to be (and I should add the even with the fifteen pound gain, I was still in my weight range, I just hate being at the top of that range).