Monday Fifteen Minute Freewrite

I am in my bedroom in the afternoon. I decided to go straight to working on the workshop I will be teaching instead of doing this in the mornings after my prayer and scripture time. I have the handout completed but not edited. I also went through how I would teach it. This is good, and I have 19 more days to get this all together. :) 

Today, I meditated on Jesus Calming the Storm in the Spiritual Exercises. I walked around the track at the elementary school a couple of times in the pretty early morning, not realizing that there is no school today because of President's Day. So I can walk anytime today. It was 33 degrees. So I was pretty bundled up. 

After this, I worked on my handouts. I think it will be really good. The second walk I took was a break to listen to Dombey and Son. I think this book is 37 hours long. So, I am slowly making my way through it. I love Dickens though. As I am going through the Instinctual Variants, I realize how much books give me a vacation from my dominant variant of social where I am thinking about others and how this thing will affect them! I get lost in the book. I love it. I was bundled up like the morning, but I should not have been. I got REALLY hot about halfway through my walk! I had my thermal underwear, Nike long-sleeved shirt, polar fleece jacket, big coat, and hat, and gloves! Too much. 

The good news is that I met my exercise goal for the day and my move goal was met about fifteen minutes ago. I went back to my handout and added the exercises that I will have the group do on their own. I think I will teach for 1/2 hour, give them alone time to do the exercise 1/2 hour, come back together and discuss what they learned for a 1/2 hour. That will be good enough for me. I need to get the teaching down. I timed myself at 20 minutes, but I needed to look at my handout a LOT. I want to just have it in my head. But I have a lot of time to do that.

I listened to the video that they used to use for this, and it is SO CONFUSING. I also think that so many people get mixed up and limit the Sexual instinct to mean only one to one relationships, and it is not only about that. It is about creative energy. It can be that "zing" you get in adventure or going beyond boundaries. I love how Russ teaches it, and it makes so much more sense when he teaches it, and it is so much more applicable when he teaches it that way.

So, I got a little bit overloaded working on this. I have put a good 3-4 hours. So I am going to ruminate until Wednesday and take another stab at it. In the meantime, I am writing this freewrite. 

Oh, I also had a nice little chat with Julie of my "Tribe"! I love the girl (the one who first told me about Freewrites and BHAGs). She had surgery, and I didn't even know it. Shows you how out of touch I have been with her. She is a self-preservation Type Four which totally shows how she can run a business! She rocks. So good to catch up with her.

I also had an exchange back and forth with Meredith by voice texts about spending time in solitude for a Type Two. That was meaningful and lovely. Also, texted back and forth with Nan. 

I think I will go up to Newberg to celebrate George's birthday with him and see his mom since I have not seen her since Christmas! 

I am doing so well. I told Julie what happened to me in December, and she was great. I think I am doing really well with all that. I think I have moved on. She said it is a blessing really. I agree. 

Now, for the rest of the afternoon, I will get ready for my spiritual direction time with M. I need to get her hand out ready. I hope she was able to do something with what I gave her last time. :) I think it is better to give others the option of doing this on their own, with a director, or not at all. I don't like that it is forced on them. Ignatius would not have liked that. He said some people are just not ready for it, and I agree!

I am having an apophatic moment. It is that transmitting (sexual is not the word for it when it comes to God) instinct between me and God. I love it. Looking out the window at the clouds and the blue sky and God is right here. He is the spring from within and not going through the channels that Teresa of Avila talks about in the Interior Castle (oh, I also read a bit of that this morning too - I love that Ph.D. thesis that parallels it with The Critical Journey and The Making of a Leader - yummy)

The timer went off. Back to work.