Sunday Sixteen Freewrite

This is the quote in another translation with words added at the end:

“The man who is wise, therefore, will see his life as more like a reservoir than a canal. The canal simultaneously pours out what it receives; the reservoir retains the water till it is filled, then discharges the overflow without loss to itself ... Today there are many in the Church who act like canals, the reservoirs are far too rare ... You too must learn to await this fullness before pouring out your gifts, do not try to be more generous than God.”

Bernard of Clairvaux, Bernard of Clairvaux on the Song of Songs III

I like the added line: "You too must learn to await this fullness before pouring out your gifts, do not try to be more generous than God."

I have been sitting and soaking in this quote for most of the morning. I am going through The Reservoir by Renovare again with my Kindle Scribe. That way, I can journal in the notes part of the book. 

This quote starts off the book, and it is one of my favorites, especially since Nancy has a little reservoir behind her house. We went up there a few weeks ago. She calls it "Carol's Spring," but it really is a little reservoir that collects the water coming down the hill from many different streams, and you cannot see them. They are hidden, but there is a reservoir at the side of the road where she stops and prays for me (and has been doing it for at least 19 years, maybe more). There is a metal pipe that channels the water under the road, and then it falls in a little waterfall down the hill into a bigger stream. 

We prayed longer there, and I see it is not a spring these days, and I like being a reservoir. This time, the more full quote that I found on Goodreads really hit me:

"You too must learn to await this fullness before pouring out your gifts, do not try to be more generous than God."

Learn to await this fullness. Soaking in that. Wait - a keyword in my life's journey. 

The memory of Colette standing at my door when I was 24 telling me "It will all be alright" when I was in the middle of my breakdown and leaving staff because of it. Crying my eyes out. She gave me hope.

I needed to wait. Painful experience but so beautiful and perfectly timed.

A memory of Shannon being so kind to call Gwen and have her pick me up in her big Cadillac and buy me shoes and take me to her mansion (yes it was a mansion) and listen to me pour my heart out to her for seven hours and give wisdom and perspective to my burn out situation.

So grateful for this. 

I am leading people through the Spiritual Exercises this year. They are in training to be spiritual directors, which is a requirement. They have just read Hagberg and Guelich's The Critical Journey. So, I am giving them optional "timeline work" along with their "Blessed History" that is part of the Exercises. I hope they dig deep into this. I am already benefitting from dusting off the "Life Experiences" stuff I taught with S.H.A.P.E. that I used for Women Becoming, teaching at the Suburban Women's Evening Bible Study, and later our TOAGs. It is good stuff. I hope it is not too overwhelming, but I think these three people (it may be two, one is still deciding) would be up for it.

One of the people in the 18th annotation group (only 10-12 weeks as opposed to 32-34 weeks for the 19th Annotation Group - the former runs February-May. The latter runs September-May) would also be up for it. I don't know about the other two. I don't want to overwhelm anyone, and I will always say things are optional, and then they feel pressure to do them.

I never get tired of reviewing where I have been and where I am going. Life with God is such a teacher.

Because I tend to think about other people too much (which can be a coping mechanism), these words are always good. "Do not try to be more generous than God." (With emphasis on the word TRY.)

Shoot. Sixteen minutes goes by so fast, but I want to stay true to the freewrite! 

ADDED AFTER 16 minutes:

I forgot that I wanted to add the etymology of the word reservoir:

reservoir (n.)

1680s, "a place where something tends to collect, place where anything is kept in store," originally figurative, from French réservoir "storehouse," from Old French reserver "set aside, withhold," from Latin reservare "keep back, save up; retain, preserve," from re- "back" (see re-) + servare "to keep, save, preserve, protect" (from PIE root *ser- (1) "to protect").