Wednesday Afternoon Freewrite

Today ended up being a free day other than cleaning up for the house cleaners to come at 8:30 am. 

I had kept it relatively clear so that we could do any last minute shopping for Michael, who goes away for his junior year of college tomorrow. He still needs office supplies, but I thought we could do it in Ashland, but maybe we can do it today and have some one on one time together. 

It is a sad day. :( I might cry the whole time.

I have had a good week though, but for this weird miscommunication with one person. I sent a clarifying email to four people. The other three totally got what I was trying to say. ONE of the four thought I was angry and hurt when I wrote the letter. I had my husband read it and explained what it said to two of my closest friends, and they did not pick up on anger or hurt. I asked God if I was angry or hurt. Nope. 

Sigh. I hate to be misunderstood. 

But here is the deal, just ONE person out of seven thought I felt those emotions, just ONE. But here I sit, I wrote a well-crafted letter explaining my position privately to her, and another one to the whole group of four. 

Then, I sit and wait for that ONE person who misunderstood me to write me back. She had not. Even though I wrote hers yesterday. 

The clock ticks. I stew. I fret. 

It has become an idol in my life. 

I cannot make her see the truth. Only God can do that. So, it does not matter how she responds or if she responds to my well-crafted letter. She may still continue to believe the lie. 

And that is her choice. I REFUSE to make her response an idol in my life. I will pray she sees what was in my heart in writing the original letter. I will quit stewing on it and enjoy this last FULL DAY home with my precious young man!

I like the idea of crying in the midst of Staples office supplies today over stewing over a return email from a person who misunderstood me. 

Maybe I just need to go and DO THE NEXT THING (see below). 


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