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Another Threshold

. . . the starting point for a new state or experience; "on the threshold of manhood"

When I wrote this definition over a month ago about our trip to Southeast Asia, I never thought it would be applicable for our trip home, but it is!

I didn't think about until today, but we are on the starting point of a new state or experience with this job situation. It is not a struggle, but there is much more energy being put into the realm of possibilities that abound for us.

I hit a wall on Monday, and I knew I was edging toward it when I went to the first co-op meeting of the year with a NEW co-op. I really wished that I had stayed home from the meeting. I needed some quiet time to reflect, and I haven't had much of that lately. When we came home from Southeast Asia, we had to do a TON of follow up that took hours and hours (still have one more piece to accomplish). We also needed to get things going with school and outside activities. I was still trying to get into a groove and also into a good sleep pattern.

I also made the MISTAKE of staying up late to watch the closing days of the Olympics. Then, I was watching both the Democratic and Republican Conventions. So, by this week, I was pretty fried.

Should have stayed home. I cried through most of the meeting, and I felt like a fool. I know that they may think it is because George lost his job. People just assume things. They assume we are going to move. They assume we are probably worried and anxious and stressed about it, but we are not. We planned for a rainy day. We never thought this HP gig was forever. In fact, this is the longest George has ever had a job at any one place! We weren't HP lifers. We weren't cozy in the job. We aren't even cozy in Corvallis, but we need to stay here because of the dental issues with our kids. So, we aren't planning on moving.

I will say that we ARE processing the options, and this is taking time and emotional energy. The job has been on "auto-pilot" for years. Now that we are landing the "HP plane" and thinking about our future flight plan, there is MUCH more "pilot to copilot" communication. We are more on our toes, and THAT is exhausting me.

More recently, I stayed up late and poured my heart out and then listened to God. It was so good. I guess He was speaking to me about being open to self-employment. When I told George about this the next morning, he said he had been praying about this for a week and was "easing me" in to the idea. Interesting.

I have always thought we are not self-employment type of people, but George has had a self-employment component since he left HP. So, there is a possibility that he could draw from all his contacts and do contracts with all of them.

We are on the threshold. It is exciting . . . and exhausting.
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