Home Again

Home Again, Home Again, Giggity-Gig. :)

We had a great time in CA, but there is really no place like home. We returned from a perfect vacation. Everything went so smoothly with my mom and her move. It also went really smoothly with my brother and his family.

Intertubing was so much fun!

Did I mention I was free?

There is a big theme of freedom going on here, and I am more excited than anything.

Driving in a boat with the wind in my hair

We are in California for the week, and my brother and his family took us out for a fantastic day of boating, skiing, and intertubing.

This middle-aged momma still has some groove left in her. I got up on Chris' O'Brien ski without a hitch and had a blast! I haven't skiied in nine years.

Paul had a great time on the intertube too.

A good time was had by all. Life is grand when you are free.

Never forgetting that I am free.

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God I am free at last.

I'm Free

Here is another free song that has been running through my mind lately:

Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams I am free

Chorus:
I am free to run (I am free to run)
I am free to dance (I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You (I am free to live for You)
I am free (I am free)

Just another free song!

Three more:

Shawn McDonald says..
"I wanna be free, free to dance and free to sing
Free to live and learn and free oh, free to be me"

Chris Tomlin sings..
"Caught in the half-light, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tied up, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free"

Ginny Owens sings...
Turnin' molehills into mountains
Makin' big deals out of small ones
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens
This is how it's been
Afraid of coming out of my shell
Too many things I can't do too well
Afraid I'll try real hard And I'll fail
This is how it's been
Till the day You pounded on my heart's door
And You shouted joyfully
You're not a slave anymore!

CHORUS:

You're free to dance
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to Me
You're free to love
'Cause I've given you My love
And it's made you free
I have set you free!

My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity and
Changed the course of history
Because You loved us so
And my heart cannot understand
How You accept me as I am
But You say You've always had a plan
And that's all I need to know
So when I am consumed With what the world will say
Then You're singing to me, as You remove my chains

Free from worry
Free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile

Life is a Promise, Fulfill It

Mary Beth said today that she looks forward to hearing where God will have me fly. She remembers the prophecy that was said by Denise Beckhart to me during Candidate School in AZ. It was in October of 1994. She had a vision of a bird in a cage, and God said that he wanted to take me out of the cage and hold me in the palm of his hands and let me fly. George and I knew that day that it is in relationship to Northwest Hills.

I felt like I flew in Malaysia. I was free and unencumbered, and it was so great. I came back to a dysfunctional church culture that I have never felt the love and grace to encourage me to fly. I want to fly, and I want to encourage other people to fly too.

So, when Mary Beth said that today, I remembered that Women Becoming women gave me this bird:

I truly believe this is a confirmation that we are doing the right thing. This bird has the Mother Teresa quote, "Life is a promise, fulfill it." This also goes along with the exhortation from you to "fulfill my ministry." Lord, I will miss the friends at Northwest Hills, but I really think it is time to fly out of the cage of Northwest Hills. The ending of Women Becoming really became the vehicle in which to do this. I finished well, and I know that you are proud of me. Thank you Lord for teaching me to fly.

Welcome to Love

This song is the one that is ministering to me so much these days:

Welcome to Love by Ginny Owens

You’re always peeking ‘round the corner
Prepared for battle at all times
So scared someone might steal your thunder
So scared you might be last in line
You forgot you can’t earn
What you do not deserve

Welcome to Love
Let it surround you feel its touch
You can give up on being good enough
Welcome to love

You face your demons in the mirror
You wonder how you’ll face the day
You think about how they perceive you
Your every move you calculate
You won’t care about these things
When you realize you’ve got all you need

The Lord has definitely surrounded me with His love, and I am in awe and humbled. I wish that I could hold this feeling of humilty fast. The Lord is good. Oh, so good.

Today was the first day of our adventure of finding a new fellowship. I went to Suburban Christian today, and I have to admit that I loved it. The worship was fabulous. The people were friendly. The sermon was meaningful. They have communion every Sunday! They had a drama prior to the communion service about what worship is. An elder read a little "mandate for fathers" that was very good.

What is weird is that they just started an outreach to internationals. The pastoral staff is going through The Peacemaker book. The women's ministry wants to start a discipleship ministry. The pastors wife invited me out to lunch with Carol Menken-Schaudt (I wonder if I will become "Little Carol" once again.). Their assistant pastor was on Campus Crusade staff.

Lord, could this be the place for us. I don't know why I am not more sad about leaving Northwest Hills, but I am just relieved more than anything. I feel almost giddy and happy.

God thank you for surrounding me with your presence. Maybe it will be like dad's death where I didn't really break down until about six weeks later. That might be when it gets really hard. As it is now, we have made a clean break. We went one week, and we are not going the next.

Emancipation

Well, we did it! We have officially left our church of 28 years. I went to see Ginny and Lorraine today, and Ginny looked at me at the lunch table and said, "You look like you have been emancipated!"

The thought of starting all over somewhere is the most wonderful thing. I will live a life of self-reflection as I move forward in faith and see God open up doors.

Maintaining Peace

I had something happen yesterday that was annoying to me. It was also hurtful, but nothing is going to shatter that peace. I have an immovable rock in our God. In the midst of the discouraging thing, two Mormon missionaries came to my door, and I was able to share with them the wonderful plan of Jesus Christ . . .period. Nothing added to it in the belief in a prophet like Joseph Smith. I was able to share with them my journey, and it was awesome. Praise God.

In the Well-Watered Soul department, I am wondering when the best time is to start the Romans study. I am waiting on setting up a plan with Kim and am looking forward to spending one-on-one time with her.

In the Well-Educated Mind department, I am loving my reading of The Kite Runner. I hope to finish that today.

So, I am off to a free day!

Perfect Peace

There is a Ginny Owens song "Let the Silence Speak" that I have been listening to lately. It typifies so beautifully where I am right now. One of the lines says:

"I will lead you to a place of perfect peace"

It speaks of God's calling us by name and waiting and leading. I have found this niche lately that has settled my soul into being still before Him and sensing the perfect peace of His presence. There isn't much filling up my space lately. So, I have had so much time to be still. In that He has been pleading for my heart, and He has it. In the silence speaking, it really has done what she says in her song:

Let is move you
Let it draw you into Me
Let it free you
Let it heal you
Let it speak

I don't say this to boast, but I say it to praise the God in whose presence I "live and move and have my being."

My brains are securely in my head and not at the door

Hee Hee. I just read another blog of a dear friend who believes that evangelicals have been sold a bill of goods about the miracles in the Bible. I love her to pieces, but I came to a different conclusion. I was just at the coast on Wednesday night. I sat there in such perfect peace and confidence in my God. He is real and He is relational. He is there; and yes, He speaks to me. Everyday.

Oh, I love her though, and there is power in love. :)

Loving Limbo Land

Had a major breakthrough in all areas. It is huge. I don't mind limboland at all. Life is an adventure. I am living life in "day-tight compartments," and it ain't so bad.

Thankful to be out of the fog!