Freewrite

Here I go for fifteen minutes. I did not do the fifteen-minute freewrite Friday as I thought. And I totally missed this last Friday. So, I am doing it on Monday. 

Now that I am doing Morning Pages (The Artist's Way practice of three notebook-sized pages, handwritten, first thing in the morning), I don't do as many freewrites here, but I am still wanting to do it on Friday. I like typing. It is somehow very soothing for me.

This morning was good. I had Morning Pages, and the theme was about abundance. The whole thought is that God supplies an abundance for all. 

I thought about the verse. I think it is Psalm 66:12: "We went through fire and through water, but you have brought us out to a place of abundance." Another version says "well-watered place" which goes along with the whole theme of this blog that I have had for so many years. The "Well-Watered Soul." That is what I want. It also goes along with all the videos that Nancy has sent me over the years of the spring behind her house that is always pouring out water, even in the heat of summer. It never dries up, and that is our God. She calls it "Carol's spring," but it is God's spring that He has me tapping into. It is all good.

So, the theme of morning pages was about pouring out for the benefit of others and pouring out for the benefit of your own soul, and it makes me think of that Clairvaux quote. I will put it at the top of this whole freewrite. It is about being a RESERVOIR versus being a CHANNEL. Thankful to fill the reservoir from that ever-flowing stream these days.

After morning pages and meditation in Psalm 66:12, I got the house all ready for Valentina and Pieter. That took some time. I hoped to have some Centering Prayer time with my directee, but I did it with her because she had never done it before. 

Interesting that the women that I supervise through this one particular spiritual direction training program were NEVER exposed to Centering Prayer. So sad. It is so helpful, and the women I supervise are eating it up. :)

So, here I am with you God. After I had time with my directee (making a decision about whether she should join a team or not), I got out of the house with the 49 minutes of sunshine that I was supposed to have until the third wave of rain came in. I went to the bank to deposit two checks, and it said my card had expired, but I got nothing in the mail. They discontinued my card because I had not used it for 10 months! She said that I had to use it once a month, but I know that it is NOT right. So, after her telling me about four times that it was once a month, I said, "Are you sure?" She asked her colleague, and he said, "It is every 10-11 months." So, there you go. I knew she was wrong, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was wrong. So, I just have to remember to use it. I use my debit card sparingly. And George gets us cash all the time, or my directees who pay me in cash keep me in cash. I prefer to use my credit card and earn miles. So, anyway. I got a new card right there on the spot.

Then I walked to Joanne's Fabrics and got a beginning acrylic paint kit. I had signed up for this class online, and it was discounted at 90% off, but then there were all these things you had to buy to do the class, and I thought, "Forget this - it is too complicated and a lot more expensive." I just want to do a weekly "artist's date" (part of the morning pages requirement). So, I thought that class would help, but it stressed me out. So, I asked for a refund and got it right away. 

So, now I have 10 sheets of paper, pains, and a beginner's guide for 8.99! I also could use my new card which is a tap card! So, that was really fun for me.

So, now the sun has come out again, and I might talk George into taking me on a date because it was a busy morning.

I also had K drop by to pick up a book, and Geo had taken it away from our porch thinking someone had dropped off a book. Why didn't he ask me? He does so much by his "gut" and can never explain his logic to me. It has helped me to understand that about a Type Nine!

Buzzer ringing! Bye.

Coming Away from Centering Prayer: Freewrite Fifteen

I will no doubt have another freewrite tomorrow, but I thought I would write for about 15 minutes on my day in Centering Prayer. I decided to have three 20-minute sits, and it has been so settling, so unbelievably good.

I don't know the ins and outs of that, but I think God delights when I pause and practice His presence. I find Centering Prayer a good way for me to do that. Touch points throughout the day to say, "Hi God, I want to look at you. I want to set aside to gaze at you in all Your beauty and glory." 

I cannot say I will do that tomorrow, but today, it was the thing I was led to do, and there is fruit from it. 

The "With God" life. His "presence is the point" as John would say. I'm hungry for it. 

I didn't stay for the first sit discussion. I just sat with many people in one of the Meditation Chapel rooms. It was lovely. Then I sat again and stayed for the discussion afterward. That was nice. Then, there is my OMS group that I help lead, but I was not leading today. Francesca read such a nice poem. 

So, Lent begins. Maybe I will give up other things to have more times like today. Sitting in God's presence. It doesn't mean that there won't be action from that contemplation. I met with a woman for the first time today, even though I have known her for about 12 years. It just worked out for us to meet one-on-one for spiritual direction. It was lovely. Then I meet with another I have been meeting with for the last eight months or so. I go into it with a stillness of heart, a steady understanding of the "with me/presence" that is centered in the soul rather than just in my head. That is nice. 

I've talked a lot about this practice in the last week. Meeting with experienced people for direction and supervision, two of the women were not introduced to it in their spiritual direction training. I wonder why? It was the first thing we were introduced to in mine. Thank you, Marty and Sandy - Contemplative Activists. Great trainers. Highly recommend them!

One said, it was after she left the people who did her training that she learned about it, and it has been life-changing for her. The other had never even heard of it, and we had a lovely talk about that. Both sponges! I love spongy people (I don't think that is a word, but I am going with it because this is just a freewrite). 

So, I like this long adventure of Centering Prayer that started in 2018 in earnest (having dabbled for quite some time). COVID helped as I found a group that could mentor me in the practice. So grateful. I have made some lovely friends in the process. Again, so grateful. 

So, there is my little diddy on Centering Prayer. Just felt like writing about it since I just came out of a sit with the wonderful OMS people! Love all the people I am with these days. Truly a gift. 

TTFN. 

FRIDAY FIFTEEN FREEWRITE

Alexa is set for fifteen minutes. This will be the third Friday in a row I am doing a Freewrite. WOOHOO!

Wow! What a week. I finally was able to be adjusted to the Pacific time zone. Just in time for my talk to spiritual directors in training about the Enneagram. I think it went well. I know that I feel like I was well-prepared, rested, and walking with Him through it. 

I tried to emphasize that it is not about knowing a number. It is about understanding your core fears that motivate you to alleviate that core fear, and how that can keep us from hearing God's voice and being with him and in His presence. 

It is about practicing the "pause" where we can S.T.O.P. and "See - Triggers - Open to - Presence." That is Clare Loughriges acronym, and I think it is really helpful. It is about "catching yourself in the acts" as my instructor, Russ Hudson, says!

So, I passed that on to one of my directees. I made a handout that explains this, along with breath prayers, and alliterative affirmations that help you step into your harmony of heart, head, and body. 

I think it was well-received, and the person who I thought maybe would be super skeptical gave me such a nice affirmation at the end. Totally unexpected and unsolicited. And more importantly: I didn't need it! I knew that I did what God had for me to do, and He is my audience of One. So, I am really grateful.

I am also grateful that it is done. I put a lot of time into it, and I am glad I will have it for my group when I start my own training. 

I also decided to take on another day of teaching. Teaching for Faculty Staff Fitness is SO MUCH less stressful. I don't have any outside work other than going to teach the class. I also can take fitness classes, and if I add another day, I can go to a weightlifting class that is not offered on the other day I teach. So, it will get me into better shape. I am so grateful.

I am also surprisingly enjoying leading the Order of the Mustard Seed Prayer Watch on Fridays. It doesn't seem like too much. I was going to do an Imaginative Contemplation in Jesus Healing the Demoniac, but at the last minute, I decided to change to Jesus' teaching about abiding in the Upper Room. That was really nice. It was so nice because one of the newer ladies came on early and was so glad it was just her because she wanted to thank me for Fridays and was really loving it. 

Again, nice to hear, but I didn't need to it. It is so great to become free of the approval of people. 

So, I actually finished a book today. So glad I have some actual bandwidth to read. 

Now, we are going out with M and her Mom since she is visiting. Middle Eastern food. YUM! It should be nice, but I have to go and decide what to wear! I took a shower after teaching and put my pajamas on. 

This weekend, all I have on the schedule is talking to Miss Debbie B at 10 am! This should be fun because we have not talked since before Christmas (I think). 

So much has happened since then. Next week is only two directees a day and no preparing for speaking. What on earth will I do with my time? LOL!

Well, off to Middle Eastern food. They make the best HUMMUS in town

Oh, and we are going to a Superbowl Party. WOOHOO! I love the people we are involved with. It is just a great group of people. They go all over the world, but they just happen to almost all be here for the Superbowl. Actually, next week, they will ALL be here because John and Katherine are coming up, and we are all having FAMILY TIME! I cannot wait. Love these people with all my heart.

TTFN!