FINDING CHRIST IN THE WORLD - WEEK ELEVEN: MATURE DISCIPLESHIP

 Touchstones:

• The Reign of Christ has begun, and we are its current members and administrators.
• What distinguishes us as members is that we live notably loving lives.
• Mature prayer requires and deepens mature knowledge and understanding.
• We have the power to forgive others, growing more true to ourselves each time.
• The Church is made up of sinful people like ourselves, whom we are invited to forgive and to love.
• Our belief about the Mass remains firm: we re-present Jesus' death and resurrection. 

GRACE I ASK FOR: for gratitude that I have all the gifts I need for a holy and joy-filled life in Christ now, and in heaven. 

INTRODUCTION

Anyone in charge of anything sees himself or herself as serving the others...Jesus presumed that mature people do not feel jealous about others' intimacy, or resent quiet sharing...When we Christians act out of genuine love for one another, the Reign of God is actually coming to be. This Reign is not a human monarchy or a holy democracy. It is a communion. And all of us make up the current administration. (WOW, isn't that the wonder of it all?)

PRAYER TALK - SPIRITUAL READING

As we mature in prayer, we need also to mature in what we know. ...What should you read? The first principle is simple: read what nourishes your prayer. The second principle is the mirror image of that: nourish your prayer by reading even about politics, the economy, and social issues...The final principle, you already know: begin with the Bible - and you don't have to finish anything. 

BRIEF NOTE: RECONCILIATION

Hearing nuns' confessions was like being stoned to death with popcorn...We no longer march crowds of holy innocents through the confessional...And if we need a deeper shaping of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we are at least taking it more seriously...But we also need renewal, because we still need reconciliation...Sacrament of Reconciliation. Acknowledging our sins and sinfulness takes us to confession. Accepting penance and absolution is being "reconciled to God." (Another area where I part ways with the Catholic church, but I do agree with the next point.)...The Sacrament of Reconciliation has little to do with norms and rules. Rather, it has to do with relationship. It has to do with the font and wellspring of the Good News: love of God, of neighbor, and of self. 

Luke 7:36-40; 44-48 Sinful Woman Bathes Jesus' Feet

Keep in Mind: says to apply it to myself (different from the condemnation from this recent training that evangelicals are always "applying" which was portrayed as something negative - hogwash). 

Jesus points out that deep repentance, great love, and forgiveness go together in faith...My response to this contemplation; Thankyou for forgiving me much. I love you so much. Psalm 40:1-3.

Reflecting on how unloved I felt during this training in the prior week. It was about interrogation rather than loving questions that drew me out. 

Matthew 18:15-22 If a Member of the Church Sins Against You

BRIEF NOTES: THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

We forgive not once or twice but many, many times...forgiving, again and again, makes us forgiving persons, like the god of mercy who does not hold our offenses against us...We also have the power to help those who need forgiveness...Jesus urged "going and having it out with him between yourselves" (Matt. 18:15)... Jesus used His power to forgive with compassionate understanding. He forgave the woman taken in adultery and very mildly "correct" her - "go, and sin no more" (John 8:1)...Would a God who cares infinitely about each brother and sister of Jesus look down on some cherished soul who needs help and not grace someone else with the gift to offer the help?

During the week: Ask yourself where you are in your spiritual growth, noting the signs of maturity that God has gifted you with.

My thought for the Day: Point out the fault when alone. I think that was the issue when I read the book White Fragility. She would confront these people in her workshops and shame and humiliate them, and then called it fragility. I just saw her as more a very heady person who has trouble with empathy. She even humiliated someone who she was a coworker in this fight against racism. In that case, I would confront the coworker privately rather than humiliate them in front of the people they were presenting to. I did a private talk with the leader of this Ignatian retreat. That was the best course of action. While he listened, he has a blind spot in the way he comes across to people, and I might be the first person who pointed that out. I hope that someday he reflects more deeply on it. In the midst of it, there was forgiveness. I have not resentment just reflection on the time there. 

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." - Nelson Mandela.

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

Holding on to resentment binds me. I want to be unbound from...I have no resentment towards anyone. I went to this man privately. He apologized. No resentment. 

For me, forgiving others means I will live out my life by ...Not being resentful toward those who have wronged me or hurt me. 

The community of the Church, helps me forgive by ...Giving clear teaching about forgiveness. 

Forgiving is ongoing. In the past, I have forgiven some people and now pray and hope for them...to grow in greater self-awareness about themselves. 

When I think honestly about it, I might need to ask forgiveness from...Noone at this point in time. 

Repetition Day of Matthew 18

"You were meant to house the fullness of God." 

During this week: As you reflect on your spiritual growth, note the signs of maturing in your relationships and how your spiritual insight is helping you appreciate them. 

Notice in scripture: Jesus instructs us to act according to humane psychology. He gives us an astonishing power to bind on earth and in heaven (what exactly does that mean?). And tells how that, in His likeness, we will forgive many, many times. 

My Thought for the Day: I have fully forgiven B and M. 70x7 is a lot of times. 

Proverbs 6:1-5 Fly like a bird from the Trapper. 

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. - Mother Theresa

1 Cor 11:23-32 Communion

BRIEF NOTE: THE SACRIFICE OF THE MASS

Our cultural lust for pleasure contravenes sacrifice...And in New Testament times, we have thought - quite erroneously - of Jesus' death as an offering that humanity makes to appease the Father's wrath at our sins. (I am not sure if that is the thought in New Testament times. It is not humanity making it. It is all God's plan and idea. I don't know if people think that HUMANITY is making that offering.) 

The main Christian meaning of Christ's sacrifice turns that around. It is Christ's giving of himself for love of us. To the Christians in Philippi, St. Paul explained that the Son "poured himself out" and took on our nature. And in our nature, he accepted being dealt with like the most vulnerable of all humans: a worthless slave. God made himself vulnerable for us - and to us...The reconciliation, therefore, is God's initiative, not ours. (I think that is pretty clear for most people that it is God's initiative.) "It is not we who loved God, but God loved us and sent his Son to expiate our sins" (1 John 4:10) The precise sacrifice we are celebrating is the Father's and the Spirit's giving up the Son, sending him down among us to make us know God's love for us. (Well yes, why do you think that people erroneously think otherwise?) 

Scripture: we proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. Examine yourself. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Examine yourself (Thus why I love doing the Examen every day, but it made me wonder why he did not answer my question about the Examen. Oh well. Got so many blank and non-compassionate stares during the week. Such a weird experience all the way around. So glad I was at one of my happiest places on earth.) 

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

The Eucharist is gift of the Son of God. I show my gratitude by..Examining myself..being prepared. 

Repetition

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: I have gifts for a joy-filled life in Christ now and in heaven. I will call you affectionately to remembrance. 

Matthew 17:1-9 Transfiguration

There are times in life when you feel radiant...You may not enter as totally into the Presence as Jesus did, because he had a sinless self-concentration and you have not. But you may well have had the consolation of being totally absorbed in God for a while, forgetful of self. You may have glowed, even if no one else was watching (YES!)

When you leave your prayer, you are likely to find the world in the same chaotic state as it was before you started praying. (You can say that again!) 

Jesus told his disciples they would "shine like the sun in the kingdom of the Father (Matt. 13:43). St. John Chrysostom brought that to the disciples of his day. He asked why those alive in Christ could not see that they shine like the sun even while they walk through everyday life. (Dr. Myers said yesterday, "You are always so happy.") 

KEEP IN MIND

About your prayer: Again practice going into the Presence, as Jesus did it (That is why I am doing Centering Prayer with a group twice a week and by myself on the other days.)

During this week: you might ponder which habits you have reviewed that make you feel radiant, and which tend to make you feel a little shady. Deepen the former and deep-six the latter! (I love that!)

Jesus' face shone like the sun. "Get up and do not be afraid." When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone. (That is the cry of a Type Two - to live for an audience of ONE.) 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Arise and do not be afraid - Closeted confident Carol needs to come out!

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

When I hear the Father say, "This is my son" I feel ... beloved myself. Wanting to hear JESUS alone above the cacophony of voices. 

For me, listening to Jesus means...pausing and hearing what he wants me to hear (not what others want me to hear).

When I hear Jesus say, "do not be afraid" I feel he is talking with me about what tests my faith, such as...the men "in charge." The people who know more than me. Even the women some times. (I am constantly learning.) 

I experienced astonishment and humility as the Lord revealed to me...that I am his beloved and am wanted and loved. That Closeted Confident Carol needs to come out and not be afraid any longer. 

There really are times when I feel all alight and alive, like ... when George and I together with M and B was our most life-giving time of the day. I love that it is the same for both of us. When I am praying in your presence. 

After these weeks of prayer, the light I am bringing to my world includes..listening to Millenials. Hearing their hearts.

Repetition

During this week: At week's end, you might list the habits you'd like to keep and those you'd rather shift. 

Notice in the scripture: What was it like for the silent James or John? What did Jesus look like when He was shining brightly. (Just as I read this a ray of sun hit my desk, and I turned around to it on a dishwashing detergent bottle top shining so brightly - it was a God moment.) 

Clothes became dazzling white. LISTEN TO HIM! DO NOT BE AFRAID. 

My Thought for the Day: I will look at your bright and shining face and listen to you today and not be afraid. 

Sunday Morning Examen Prayer

Deep Breath.

God, make me aware of your presence at this time. You are always here.

Two or three things I am grateful for:

• Brian and Stacy and kids coming over to visit. It was a lovely dinner.
• A soul-stretching perspective hiking to the top of Chip Ross with the ones I love the most and looking out over our beautiful, green city.
• Weight loss! A week of NO plateauing and a slow and steady downward trend every day. I am totally on track now!

Awakening - The beginning of the day was a meditation in the Transfiguration and centering prayer. Then I read a little bit more in Open Mind, Open Heart and A Coffin for Dimitrios. 

Rest of the morning - Went with George to shopping. While he shopped, I prayer walked around the grocery store. Then we went on another spiritual direction walk on the Hospital Hill Loop together. I asked him the GPS questions (God's Positioning System). I have missed those focused times that are all about him. It was life-giving to find out how he is doing in that way. 

Middle of the Day - More reading and getting ready for Brian and Stacy by chopping tomatoes and grating cheese. It was a simple taco meal prep time. He asked me some of the GPS questions.

Afternoon - Started refries. While beans were soaking, we did a 30-minute hike up to Chip Ross on a beautiful, sunny day. Got an unexpected email from a possible directee. 

Evening - Brian and Stacy came for dinner. Good fellowship and food. We walked to Wildcat and ran into Renee's parents. 

End of the Day - Watched a little bit of Friday Night Lights. 

Regret - Saying more than I should have said to someone. 

The most meaningful part of the day - The hike and perspective from up on the hill. I also just love being with my family. All four of us together is life-giving. (From Him: Family is always your number one priority.) 

Body and Soul Companion Website

I know there are people who read this blog because people come up to me and say that they do. 

I would be remiss if I did not say that my spiritual direction website has been up and running for over a month now, but I don't think I have ever linked it here! 

https://bodyandsoulcompanion.com/

I created this website so that people would know what I do. :) I am not big on self-promotion. So this has been a step of obedience for me. I will write more about that in my freewrite sometime this weekend. 

In the meantime, I think I will go out and take a walk. It is a perfect day. 

29. Sodom and Gomorrah by Marcel Proust

 

This was a slog! My goodness! I have tried to read this since its purchase in February, but other books replaced it. So, this week, I forced myself to finish with few distractions. It was easier to get through this way. It is a bunch of people that are really hung up on the "right" people and status in society, sprinkled with looking for love in all the wrong places, and the author's discovery of the world of homosexuality. I am more than halfway through the whole thing. Whew! Slow and steady wins the race. 

Wednesday Freewrite

I have not done a freewrite since July 28th! That is the longest I have gone without a freewrite for a very long time.

I think a lot has happened since then. I don't have an agenda for this freewrite. I just needed to get my juices flowing. I have a busy afternoon into the evening, but my morning is free, free, free.

Yesterday, I was all set up in the backyard for a social distanced spiritual direction session. I had moved my comfy chair out there, and I had set up my notepads. I was looking forward to a longer than normal session with a woman who was going to tell me here "Sacred Story" (part of what I like to do toward the beginning of my sessions is hear their story from birth to the current year - for some people this goes beyond the 1 hour time). 

Sadly, she got her days mixed up and did not show. I had pretty much set my day up around that session (as I take time to process and pray afterward). So, I was a little lost as to what would be best to do. I had already decided that riding my bike to campus to do a cardio weight training class in a stuffy room with no air conditioning/fan and a face mask was too much for me on a hot summer afternoon. So, I didn't do my usual Tuesday afternoon routine. 

Although I was at a loss, I found such joy in no agenda yesterday, and that is what God has opened up for me for the fall. I will not be teaching Pilates. Last fall, I could not do it because of a broken leg (got off my crutches the day classes started, and I could not climb the three flights of stairs to my room). Last "no agenda" fall also ended up being so wonderful. And this one will be no different. I am going to participate in the 10/10 40 Days of Prayer and Fasting with many from around the world. Praying for world change. But it is a different agenda. It is not about intercession but about laying down our lives and adoration of the king. It runs from August 24 to October 3. This will be great for many reasons. I will only do spiritual direction with people. I am also going to pray for three women to go through the journey of the Spiritual Exercises. I would really like to have a group of women my age to share with too. 

Last week was a bit off the beaten track for me. I told God that if noone signed up for direction during last week, I would go on this Ignatian Training Retreat. No one did. I really got no clear direction that I really needed to go as I already feel really great about how God has led me to lead others through the retreat, and the training confirmed that there are many ways to lead people, and this director's way of leading is NOT the way I would ever lead people through. I have no hard feelings, but I felt like I was in a battle almost every time he would lead and teach (lots of his political opinion and a brought brush of condemnation toward evangelicals). He has more of a combative spiritual direction style too, which is something I have never encountered with other spiritual directors (except the half-hour I spent in October 2017 with someone in Santa Barbara). I wrote my director and mentor through the Exercises because he asked me how it went, and he said, "Moving forward even when facing frustration." "Praise God" (when I told him how much I DID love being at Mt. Angel, praying three hours a day, and processing it all with Sister Joan after it was all over), and "God is the director" (when I told him about how much I appreciated his kind and gentle approach to the Exercises). God is good. 

What is so wonderful is that I can walk away knowing that some people will benefit from his style. I am just not one of them, and that is OK. God has gifted me in ways that are very different from him. It was good to see 1) a different style in group leadership with the SEEL and the First Spiritual Exercises with Jeannette. They have a kinder and gentler way of leadership, and 2) a different style of direction than Mike from the SEEL, and 3) the gentle and loving and wonderful way of the Creighton University Online Retreat material compared to the material (Tetlow) used by this particular leader. There are parts of it that I do like and have quoted in my own manual. I grew a lot from the experience. I found my voice. He listened to me when I talked to him about it, and that is a good thing. 

That is my 15 minutes, and I remembered I needed to contact Van with the things she was interested in seeing. 

28. White Fragility by Robin Diangelo

I heard this book so lambasted in some circles that I thought I should read it. It is not so bad after all. I found it contributes value to the dialogue. I looked at her website, and the summary of her approach in her workshops sums up the book. So I am cutting and pasting it here. 

I take an anti-racist approach. An anti-racist approach rests upon these basic tenets:

• Racism is the foundation of Western society; we are socialized into a racial hierarchy
• All of us are shaped by the forces of racism; no one is exempt
• All white people benefit from the racial hierarchy, regardless of intentions
• No one chose to be socialized into racism (so no one is “bad”)
• Racism must be continually identified, analyzed and challenged; no one is ever done
• The question is not if racism is at play, but how is it at play?
• The racial hierarchy is invisible and taken for granted for most white people

My work seeks to make racism more visible so that it can be challenged. In recognition of the above tenets, I make sure to (1) set a constructive climate for grappling with sensitive issues through role-modeling and use of self, (2) take into account the groups’ racial diversity and how that impacts the group’s dynamics, (3) balance the intellectual with the emotional components of learning, and (4) make continuing learning resources available. In addition to content knowledge, my expertise is in clearly and accessibly presenting information that is politically and emotionally charged. My primary objective is to deepen cross-racial skills and relationships and build the commitment and capacity to continue working towards racial justice.

Objectives

• Provide a shared framework for differentiating between prejudice, discrimination, and systematic racism
• Understand the basic dynamics of current race relations in the U.S.
• Examine the concept of whiteness and white racial socialization
• Identify and make everyday patterns of whiteness recognizable
• Recognize common barriers to bridging racial divides and introduce the skills necessary for bridging them
• Recognize the above as an on-going process and build motivation to continue
• Identify resources for supporting the work of racial equity

FINDING CHRIST IN THE WORLD WEEK 10 - LIVING ALWAYS IN COMMUNION

 PRAYER TALK

We cannot grow closer to God our Lord in prayer without that closeness affecting our everyday life...Can you imagine Romeo in love with Juliet and then going about his life as though she didn't exist? ... we cannot go about our lives as though God did not exist...So, consolation: When things are going well, we acknowledge God's goodness and thank Him. We are aware that we believe in Jesus Christ and hope to remain faithful to Him...Then, desolation: When everything turns dark, we don't claim to be "depressed." "Desolation" is about me and god, and finally about me and those I love and who love me. Depression might need medicating. Desolation needs something else...When I am desolate, I first ask what I've done or not done. 

SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIP AND COMPANIONSHIP

The spiritual life is not a solitary journey...It's a pilgrimage, a common trip to a common goal... and we need fellow pilgrims. 

Jesus' resurrection is the beginning of God's new project not to snatch people away from earth to heaven but to colonize earth with the life of heaven. - N.T. Wright

Lord, I would like more local friends in the faith. 

BRIEF NOTE: GENEROUSLY GIVE WHAT?

Lord, I accept the gifts the Holy Spirit has given me and do feel generous enough to "put them at the service of others." 

For the Son of Man came to seek out and save the lost (Lk 19:10). I would like to do a study with S!

Use the special gifts you have given me for Your glory, Lord. Those are: Encouragement, leadership, shepherding, evangelism, discernment, and wisdom. I am generous with my time, heart, devotion. 

Jesus invited himself to the home of a person of peace. "Today salvation has come to this house."

BRIEF NOTE: WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF GOD

You will understand this as you grasp maturely that, created in the image of a Triune God, we are fully persona only in our relationships...We mature in membership (as "the people of God") as we grow aware of the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, giving us a deep dignity and fiery freedom...You have been praying these weeks for a heart open to the truth that the Church's mission is to be the salt and light of the world (Matt. 5:13). Keep clear that this is the destiny set for you; it is not what you decided for yourself. Your destiny is the same as that of all those who are taken into communion by Christ.

I wrote: Fiery Freedom: It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1). It was also in connection with the legalistic leadership of the retreat last week. 

KEEPING IN MIND: Review the relationships you live in - close family, wider family, your groups - and think about re-collecting or smoothing out where needed. And deepen them all. 

The blind man had to yell and keep yelling. That was a good word about persistence. 

Blind Bartimaeus - What do you want me to do for you? 

Where I am blind - In how to navigate our political divisions (as evidenced by the retreat last week and how politics came into play with the leader).

"What do you want me to do for you? (Mark 10:46-52)

1) Heal my back. It was great at the retreat, but it went out again when I got home. 

2) Partner with a media person for my multimedia idea for the next generation.

3) Have an in-person group of friends to do the Spiritual Exercises with. 

Being the People of God can be unwieldy and I must ... navigate vastly different political perspectives. 

I need to SHOUT for healing (it has gotten 100% better since yesterday). 

TOUCHSTONES for Week 10

• Humankind's new destiny as Christ's Mystical Body begins in Jesus's risen human life.
• Jesus' human experience sets the divine tone for human experience after Him; that's why we imitate Him.
• Consolation means we are living faith and hope and love well, however we feel.
• Desolation means we are troubled in our believing, hoping little and not loving much at all -- even when we think we are feeling all right.
• Desolation is most commonly connected with sinful living and taking our eyes off the God who loves us.
• Our koinonia or communion calls on and enables each disciple's special gifts and graces.
• Christ takes us into Himself, making us His Mystical Body in Holy Communion. 

27. Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson

 

This is an adventure tale in Scotland. It is a historical novel in that it is based on the Appin Murder.

A great summer tale!

FINDING CHRIST IN THE WORLD: WEEK NINE: THROUGH DEATH TO GLORY

I am not going to break my underlines/notes into so many separate sentences this time. I will just have general page headings.

INTRODUCTION

We are Jesus' brothers and sisters..."In the fullness of time," the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity came into our flesh...Jesus defeated death..."For anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation; the old order is gone and the new being is there to see" (2 Cor. 5:18)...We come to this new being by a supernatural gift, a grace that enables us to do what our humanity cannot do by itself: survive death...everything begins, matures, gets old, and dies...we know more than that...we were meant from the beginning to live forever...we grasp that as He died, so we die, too...Partners in life and partners in death -- and in resurrection..."God is faithful - reliable, trustworthy, and [therefore] ever true to His promise, and He can be depended on; by Him, you were called into companionship and participation with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord (1 Cor. 1:9 AMP). COMPANIONSHIP AND PARTICIPATION.

PRAYER TALK: PRAYING ABOUT JESUS' PASSION

Pay close attention to the human...His actions, what He says and what He refuses to say, how He relates to friend and enemy - to try to fathom what this perfect holy man willingly went through...One mark of His humanness is Jesus' quaking fear of what was going to happen...we keep trusting the Father utterly and absolutely -- because the Creator loves and trusts us utterly and absolutely...He knew that the Father wanted HIm to keep loving. He trusted the Father's love, "Not my will, but yours be done."...You're in the middle of a mystery here, but believe that no matter what human disorder inflicts on you, God's love is steady. Jesu believed that when He said, "your will be done." ...Jesu remained loving - and brave - when they arrested him. "let these go."..He had the power to make all that go away...we are joined to Jesus Christ and our experiences are already bringing - by God's power and grace - the Reign of Christ.

WEEK NINE: I beg to feel sorrow with Jesus in His suffering and to know how it matters to me.

DAY ONE

BRIEF NOTES: CALLED BY NAME

He saw light. Then he saw a face he knew well and felt great joy...You'll hear your name and you'll see light and in that light, you will see Jesus Christ, your Savior. And with Him, all the other saints and angels. 

Jn 11:1-44 Raising of Lazarus

He whom you love is ill. this does not lead to death. It is for God's glory... But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him...I am the resurrection and the life...Do you believe this?... Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world...Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?... Father, I thank you for having heard me...When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus come out!... Unbind him, and let him go.

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: "I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him." I thank you for having heard me.

God had one Son on earth without sin, but not a single one without suffering. St. Augustine

DAY TWO

BRIEF NOTES: THE WHOLE OF ME

When I take you to myself, I brush off everything that is not you. So let me wash your feet, all right?

KEEP IN MIND: You will be gently, reverently, entering into Jesus' heart and mind as the power of evil does its utmost to destroy Him. Do not be afraid: He opens His heart to you.

Jn 13:1-15 The Last Supper

Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end...The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas...he had come from God and was going to God...began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel...you ought to wash one another's feet...I have set you an example..you also should do as I have done to you.

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: He loved his own...loved them to the end.

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

As the Lord's supper, I notice a few things I had not considered before...He loved his own to the end. 

When I see what Jesus is doing...I see I want to...serve others.

What would it be like if I gave myself to Jesus as Peter did - "then all of me, Lord!" - what would that be like? He was zealous but had little knowledge. So I'm not sure I want to be like Peter (but he came through it in the end after he denied Him three times). 

Jesus comes to wash my feet, and I ... cry and am humbled by his love...that I would be one of the ones he would include as I have always been one who felt excluded my whole life. 

DAY THREE

KEEP IN MIND: When you pray using lectio divina or meditation or contemplation, you'll find that they give you a good chance to get to know the people around Jesus of Nazareth. 

During this week: You are likely to be more mindful of the people in your family and life world. When someone comes into your consciousness, pray for their needs and for their eternal life. 

Jn 13:1-15 Repetition of the Last Supper

Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end...you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Listening and loving that is how I wash people's feet. (C, C, J - the women I met with this week)

"Let us throw ourselves into the ocean of His goodness, where every failing will be canceled and anxiety turned into love." St. Paul of the Cross. 

DAY FOUR

BRIEF NOTES: SIGN OF GLORY

We are not so used to seeing that Jesus of Nazareth, in his Passion, was only doing what love does...St. Ignatius says that love consists in what we do... God is love and love wants to share in a partake of everything that belongs to the beloved. And we are the beloved - "precious in His eyes and honored, and He loves us" (Is. 43:4). His heart opens to us... He embraced our humanness, as it is. He wanted to share everything we are and have - except sin..." ours were the sufferings he was bearing, ours the sorrows he was carrying" (Is. 53:4)...The Son of God, who is God, knows what it is when we call on Him in our sufferings. He hasn't forgotten. He still has the wounds in His flesh. they don't hurt anymore, though. They're a sign of glory...So will all of ours be.

KEEP IN MIND: You'll want to think sometimes about the injustice done to Jesus. He was saddened by the bad will and hatred shown HIm. He was deeply grieved by the lies told to His face. Just think some times during the days, even for just a few minutes, about what He went through. It might help to have a picture of the Sacred Heart or a crucifix near...He accepts the Father's will.

Mk 14:32-42 Agony in the Garden

Deeply grieved...threw himself on the ground...remove this cup from me, yet, not what I want, but what you want...spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Same as notes above.

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." CS Lewis

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

Here and now, maybe in something hard or painful, I want to know what God wants regarding...my pain - I do feel the pain has passed..."God, knows what it is when we call on Him in our sufferings. He hasn't forgotten. He still has the wounds in His flesh. they don't hurt anymore, though. They're a sign of glory."

In my life at present, I recognize God's will in ...allowing me to suffer and be rejected.

I know I have accepted God's will when ... I am at peace. 

DAY FIVE

Mark 14:32-42 Repetition of Agony in the Garden

Remove this cup from me...pray that you may not come into the time of trial... The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Remove this cup of back pain from me. 

DAY SIX

BRIEF NOTES: FORGIVING

Jesus explicitly and generously forgave those who were trying to destroy Him...Even while they were crucifying Him, Jesus asked the Father to forgive them...love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44)...be compassionate as your heavenly Father is compassionate (grow into complete maturity of godliness in mind and character, "having reached the proper height and virtue and integrity."... You must, therefore, set no bounds to your love, just as your heavenly Father sets none to his" (Matt. 5:48)...Right here is the deepest reason why we forgive those who have hurt us. We might have to confront them or challenge them, but we do that with a mind to forgive them, however hard that is...holding resentments or immersing ourselves in bitterness is sinful, and we risk hurting ourselves more than the ones we are not forgiving. But our real reason for forgiving, it that God the Father forgives. And the Son has earned the right for us to forgive, too...First, He asks the Father to forgive them. Then He gives the Father a reason: "they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34)...He needed to put some meaning into the brutal things they were put to doing...It has proven a very powerful pattern to follow when you have not forgiven someone for something hard. Set yourself to think of the reasons why they could do what they did or are doing. What happened or is happening in their life that hey can do something like this?... When you try to see how they could acts as they do, you are going compassion. You are in some sense suffering with them, as your compassionate Savior has done - and still understands.

NOTES: Forgive the person, Father, for that person knows not what that person does. The person is ______. I can have compassion. I had forgiven even back then, but it is always really good to be reminded of this every time I see Jesus hanging the Cross. This is the way of love. 

Luke 23:33-46 The Cross

Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing...scoffed at him...He saved others, let him save himself if he is the Messiah of God, his chosen one. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.

WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? APPLYING YOUR PRAYER

I forgive them for being so judgmental of me without cause for not liking me or seeking to know me.

I would like to hear God say to me...Today you will be with me in Paradise. 

DAY SEVEN 

KEEP IN MIND: pray the Our Father slowly and attentively. Our prayer is somehow our own, but the Lord Jesus taught us His prayer, the Our Father...If God thinks of you as that important, what difference does anyone else's opinion make, or your own, of yourself? 

Luke 23:33-46 Repetition of the Cross. 

MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Today you will be with me in Paradise! I am so looking forward to today, LORD. Would you please heal me of the pain. There was a time a few weeks ago that I did a full-body scan, and I had no pain. Even on my anniversary getaway, I had no pain. Please I beg for that freedom. 

God gave me freedom from the pain for my six-day retreat at Mt. Angel. 

TOUCHSTONES for WEEK NINE:

• The Christian narrative of earthly life assigns a deeply positive meaning to human suffering.
• Jesus of Nazareth chose to embrace everything humankind goes through and all that we inflict on ourselves.
• Every mature disciple of Jesus correctly feels that their suffering is completing Christ's wor on earth.
• As Jesus did, we ask the Father to relieve us of suffering even while accepting it.
• Jesus' Passion impresses on or hearts how utterly and entirely God loves us.
• Jesus' Resurrection gives us the hope that our suffering and death will end in glory. 

26. Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens

I just love a good story by Dickens. 

This has humor and tragedy and mystery and good guys and villains. It was a joy to listen to, and Simon Vance was an excellent narrator!

 I highly recommend this Dickens. 

 This concludes all the books by Dickens on the 1000 Books to Read Before You Die List. I will put the ones on the list in order from most favorite to least favorite (although I really liked them all). 

1) A Christmas Carol - I could read that over and over and never get tired of its wonderful message.

2) Oliver Twist - Something about it just touches my heart.

3) Bleak House - love the strong women characters for a Dickens novel! 

5) Nicholas Nickleby 

 6) David Copperfield 

7) Great Expectations 

8) A Tale of Two Cities 

9) Dombey and Son 

 But again, I really like them all!

Finding Christ in the World - Week Eight: Jesus of Nazareth, Our Model

INTRODUCTION (p. 142)

"Take him as your pattern" (Eph. 5:1). I added the Amplified translation, "Therefore be imitators of God -- copy Him and follow His example -- as well-beloved children [imitate their father]

This was my birthday week, and this verse set me into thoughts about my earthly father and all the good things he gave me through his example. That was so nice. I have such warm memories of water-skiing, and my dad being so encouraging and loving. 

"You've got the ticket." That is what he would say when he would praise me. 

The Introduction talked about pondering Jesus' human character and his spiritual convictions and practices. 

The things I underlined were: He was determined to always do God's will. He was truthful. A real leader, He was faithful to the Law. He was compassionate too, telling the Widow of Nain, "Don't cry!" and giving her back her only son (Luke 7:13). He was generous. His spirituality was marked by a lot of prayer. He asked the Father for what He wanted, and He trusted the Father utterly. He had great power and authority. 

I "hearted" these:

But be aware that "to know" can mean having lots of theoretical learning or bible memory. That's not what we're talking about here.

The "to know" here means to get into Jesus' mind and heart and to grow a feeling for His beauty and truth. When we're kids, we often want to be "like" somebody. Now we're adults, and the one we want to be like is Jesus of Nazareth. 

PRAYER TALK: IMITATION OF CHRIST (p.143)

You have asked the Father for this great grace: to know Him, love Him, and follow Him. Now you want to ask for the even greater grace of being like Him.

The first thing He models is living so that He is always doing God's will (John 5:19). 

You are like Him in this too, if you embrace belonging to the Body of Christ, the Church. The Father chose the people to whom you belong and who belong to you. 

Then, He was born into a people who lived in a covenant with the One God. 

With the help of His cousin John the Baptist, He chose His vocation -- not to be a hermit, or a prophet like John and Isaiah, but to be a healing, teaching presence among His people. 

Jesus was given His human life in a nation under tyranny. he accepted, and you will imitate Him if you accept gratefully where you are, and when you live. 

He went up to Jerusalem in the end having told the disciples what would happen, and trusting the Father to bring glory out of bitter defeat. 

Here is a sentence form the Imitation of Christ, Chapter 56: "Follow me...I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Without the Way, there is no going; without the Truth, there is no knowing; without Life, there is no living. I am the Way you are to follow; I am the Truth you are to believe; I am the Life you are to hope for."

Whatever comes, recognize the hand of God -- embrace joyfully, detach just as joyfully -- and in all trust the Father as utterly as Jesus did. Surely this is the first step to being like Him. 

BRIEF NOTE: IMAGINE THAT (p. 144)

Imagine that you have been notified that you are the only living descendant of the king that just died. 

The Father's voice thundered, "My Beloved Son!" And Jesus had to accept that.

We are to imitate Him in this, for sure. For all the indications are clear: we have been "marked out beforehand, to be God's adopted children" (Eph. 1:5). The issue now is whether we are willing to accept being special to the Almighty Creator of all the universes -- and of seven billion human beings currently alive! 

We can accept in a yes-or-no way, and we can also accept in a more-or-less way. In Jesus, it was only yes. He accepted His power and authority. He accepted the things He must do as the Father's will. He bowed even to suffering and death. He just kept saying yes. 

As He did, we must do -- keep saying yes. As He did, so do we have to exercise the gifts of the Holy Spirit enabling us to give ourselves wholeheartedly o God: wisdom, understanding, fortitude, piety, and the rest. 

We have to love ourselves as He loved Himself. We have to accept being special to the Father -- to being the royalty of our nation, as it were.

We who receive the Body and Blood of God's Son in the Eucharist are surely special to the Father. 

All of this may confound us and it certainly does challenge us. But it is surely a great joy. 

Grace for the Week: I ask to know Jesus more clearly, love Him more dearly, and be like Him more nearly. 

Day 1 - Matthew 3:13-17 (Jesus' Baptism) 

Jesus wants us to know his intimate feelings and thoughts. 

"This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well-pleased." 

My Thought for the Day: "I am well-pleased. You've got the ticket. I'm glad I made you."

Quote by Shusaku Endo (the man who wrote the book I just reviewed: Silence!) 

"The reason our religion has penetrated this territory like water flowing into dry earth is that it has given to this group of people a human warmth they never previously knew."

What about My Life? Applying Your Prayer

Do I allow God to say to me, "You are my beloved child"?  Yes-or-no, more-or-less, or ...

It is a BIG YES. This sent me into memories of my dad saying, "You've got the ticket." There is never once in my relationship with my earthly father that I didn't feel 100% special. I was his only beloved daughter. I was his princess. 

When I say yes to God's insisting, "You are my beloved child," I feel ...

Happy...blessed...joyful!

God is generous and His gifts to me. These are gifts that make me feel I am special to Him right now...

The ability to listen and love people right where they are at. 

I note the virtues Jesus lives out as he acdepts the Father's declaration, especially...

Just did the will of the Father! He went out in power and authority! 

When I accept the Father's declaration, the virtues of Jesus I want to grow and start with...

Power and authority!

Day 2 - Repetition of Day 1

You have freedom to compare your own thoughts and feelings to Jesus'. 

The Spirit of God descended like a dove and alighted on him. 

My Thought for the Day: Spirit of the living God fall afresh on me. 

Day 3 - Mark 1:16-20 (Calling of Peter and Andrew, James and John)

BRIEF NOTE: BELONGING AND COMMUNION

When Jesus called Peter and Andrew, he was calling them to live in communion with himself. 

A singer in a choir: she sings the notes that all are singing and keeps perfect time with the others... And in the harmony of the choir, she finds great freedom and joy...She is detached from her special attitude toward her own voice and musical preferences...She is free to set them aside to be in harmony with the others. 

Communion is like that. Peter was a fisherman and he had his ways and habits. He laid them aside when he joined Jesus' other disciples. So did all of the apostles and disciples...They had to set ambition aside to be in harmony with Jesus. 

Real detachment like Jesus' means you love the earth and all God has given you...and you rejoice and praise God for them all. That first. Then, you hold yourself free to do what God calls on you to do.

The crucial detachment comes when you let go of someone or something because som sin looms. But growing like Jesus means that you keep developing his mindset of detachment. 

When harmony requires it, you make yourself free and choose to be in harmony with the rest. This is communion. 

They left their nets immediately and generously. 

My Thought for the Day: My net to leave is ____'s approval and love of me. I can hope it happens, but I have to detach myself from it. 

Quote by Anonymous:

"Jesus' invitation 'Follow me' is given in some manner to every Christian. Each of us baptized in Christ is called not only to live in the reign of God but also to help establish it." 

What about My Life? Applying Your Prayer

To do what Jesus is asking; I find the most difficult thing to detach from is ... Approval from George' s family.

I choose to be part of a Christian community because...I love it, and it encourages me to grow.

I feel the harmony in my Christian community when... we worship, pray, and draw closer to Jesus and are salt and light to the world. 

I help maintain harmony in my Christian community by...being quick to hear (lots of listening), slow to speak, and slow to anger. 

Jesus calls me to be with Him now in ... harmony with his heartbeat. 

Day 4 - Repetition of Day 3

God cherishes you as you are (and can handle your snits). 

Try to remember noticing what characteristics Jesus is showing, especially His virtues and gifts.

Jesus waits for no special time to call His first apostles. He invites them to something more important than catching fish. They respond to him immediately and generously. 

"I will make you fish for people."  "They left their father Zebedee...and followed him." 

My Thought for the Day: Left family to follow and fish. today let me follow and fish. 

"God is not content with doing something for us, but seeks to involve us in his merciful action." David Fleming, S.J.

BRIEF NOTE: ACTIVE LOVE, DEEPER VIRTUES (p. 152) 

Jesus showed us how to be like God the Father...watching Him helps ut to know what ongoing conversion we need to embrace. 

But the mature disciple has a whole field of virtues to develop, and Jesus' example helps us tremendously here, because "everything he does is good" (Mark 7:37). 

Virtues of Jesus: obedient, loving, dissident, prudent, resolute, fortitude, gentle, meek, humble, tender, absolute, courageous, restful. 

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matt. 11:28). 

Day 5 - Mark 7:31-37 (Healing of the deaf man)

"He has done everything well." 

My Thought for the Day: Be open to hear and proclaim only you. 

"Discipleship means following a person. It is not simply doing certain actions and asking "what would Jesus do?", but also about becoming a certain kind of person." Gerald M. Fagin, S.J.

What About My Life? Applying Your Prayer

Make a list of your virtues and good qualities. Be honest and admit good things when they are there...

Loving, kind, joyful, enthusiastic, caring, listening, encouraging, committed, responsible, strong, funny, fun, challenging, pace setting, leader. 

To further develop virtues and good qualities I desire, I need to do (or to avoid)...

watching people with BAD virtues and qualities on reality TV! Not watch the news. 

I know I must ask God's help in and grace for... self-control in eating. Boldness and authority. 

Day 6 - Repetition of Day 5

Reverently recall you are always in the Holy presence of God.

Try to be grateful for the good that God has done and is doing in you and through you. 

The people who observed the healing told more zealously when he told them not to. 

They were astounded beyond measure. "He has done everything well." 

My Thought for the Day: Touch me. Unplug my ears so I hear clearly about this retreat." 

"Virtues deal with the ordinary events of our lives. They are concerned with the interplay between our habits of heart and our actions. Virtues are dispositions of heart hat guide our actions." Gerald M. Fagin, S.J. 

Day 7 - John 5:2-7 (Healing at the Pool by the Sheep Gate) 

BRIEF NOTE: OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES

We get so fixated on getting rid of some habit we want to be rid of that we don't hear an invitation to lear it in god's hands. We get so ear to "get it right" and "do the right thing" that we forget how God loves us for ourselves, not for this or that habit or some special way we act. 

The man at Bethesda was invited to accept grace. He was so busy explaining himself that Jesus had to be blunt. "Get up!" 

If at times surprising or hard or even drastic things happen to you, it might be that God is just doing what Jesus did. Listen: "Get up!" 

"Do you want to be made well? ...Stand up, take your mat and walk." 

My Thought for the Day: I want to be made well (of my people-pleasing). ___ has a choice to be made well, and that is her choice. Get up and walk away!  "Go in peace, glorifying the Lord by your life."

TOUCHSTONES (p. 158)

• We want to know Jesus in such a way that we are transformed by Him.
• We want a relationship that allows us to imitate Him and to be more like Him.
• The Holy Spirit will help us enter into Jesus' heart and mind so we can know Him more clearly, love Him more dearly, and be like Him more nearly.
• The "communion of the Holy Spirit" invites us to be detached even from our gifts and skills.
• Each of us has to say yes to be shaped by the Holy Spirit into Jesus' likeness.
• Jesus shows us what virtues we might strengthen or develop.

25. Book Lust by Nancy Pearl

Book Lust: Recommended Reading for Every Mood, Moment, and Reason by Nancy Pearl
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Fascinating A-Z journey through some of this famous librarian's favorite books. I decided to just enjoy her take and not furiously make another list to get through!

l View all my reviews

Tuesday Freewrite

Yesterday was my birthday...

and it was lovely. 

I like no expectations in my life. I decided it needed to be low-key. I didn't want any parties or lights. I had my chai in the morning and meditated on the baptism of Jesus and my own belovedness before God. I also had such sweet memories about my family growing up. I was truly blessed with a dad in whom I had no doubt as to his love for me. I knew I was beloved in his eyes. 

The question in Finding Christ in the World was "When I say yes to God's insisting, "You are my beloved child," I feel ...

Happy...blessed...joyful!

(I was the beloved youngest child and only daughter of Charles William Wardrop who changed my name to Carol because the name Karen just did not fit the 10 lb 15 oz baby girl that popped out of my mom at 9 (am or pm - no one to ask for sure). I was not "pure one" but SONG OF JOY! That fits me so much better!

After this good time in God's word, (and a word about power and authority which I don't like to take but realize I must sometimes) I went for a 90-minute walk in the cool of the morning. It got up to 96 yesterday. So I just kept walking and walking until I got my 10,000 steps and 600 calorie move goal in! It was lovely. :)  I also listened to Angela's Ashes (see the post from yesterday). What a fascinating and funny read. 

I came back to send my first email to my small group that has finally been assigned to me through Jesuits in Boston! We are eight weeks in, and they just got to me on my BIRTHDAY. So that was a gift. 

Another gift was my heather orange BLESSED T-Shirt that came in the mail.

After this, I listened to my book some more, talked to Jean S on the phone, answered Facebook and text well-wishers, and had tea with Kim for three glorious hours of connection. I love that girl.

She left at 5:30, and Teala came at 6 for a steak, baked potato, salad, and fruit dinner. She stayed for four hours. I had a lot of connections yesterday! I love that.

So here I sit. I think we are done with the vacation getaway, having gone on our 30th wedding anniversary to the coast for three days. It was so great. I am not sure I wrote about it here, but George is the easiest person to be with. We walked and talked and read a lot. We also went to Tidal Raves in Depoe Bay for lunch on our big day. It was cheaper that day, and the 30-minute wait was so worth it. I had the "Pasta Rave" which is lovely seafood linguine with all sorts of different kinds of seafood. 

What was great is that for both my anniversary getaway and my birthday yesterday, I did not go over my points. So I have a 23 day streak of a "Blue Dot." I have lost 6.7 pounds! WOOHOO. I LOVE Weight Watchers. It is so EASY, and I love seeing all these people who have lost an incredible amount of weight and kept it off by eating healthier. The psychology behind all the "free" points is that you will reach for those healthy fruits, vegetables, and lean meats instead of the higher point, lower nutrient foods. It is working for me, and I have eaten so much fruit but still lost weight. 

I am on schedule. At this rate, I will be at my best weight by the day school starts. I should mention I am not overweight. I am at the upper end of my weight range through and in a healthy BMI, but I want to be at the healthiest and best weight for me, and that is at at 22-23 BMI.

I start weight lifting again today. YIKES! I am a little nervous about going to a class with the mask and procedures. We will see how I like it. I might just lift at home or at the club. 

I think my time is just about out. I like to freewrite, and it has been a very long time! 

TTFN. 10 seconds to go! 

24. Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt

Wow! This might be my favorite book of the year. I could not put it down. What an engaging memoir. What an amazing early life this man had. 

I had begun reading it when it was on the bookshelf of a vacation home we were renting. I did not have enough time to get very far into the book, but I put the audiobook on hold, and I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook read by the author that includes him singing the songs! It made me want to take a trip to Limerick!

It is humorous and heartbreaking all in one breath, told from the perspective of a young boy coming of age in poverty-stricken Ireland. 

HIGHLY RECOMMEND. 

23. Bleak House by Dickens

There is nothing like Dickens. After the long slog through Atlas Shrugged, this was so refreshing and well-written. I love Dickens and the characters he creates. This one was a bit different from others I have read in that the main characters are women! It is also interesting in that it becomes a murder mystery about 2/3rds of the way through the book. 

What a great read! I think this might be one of my favorites. 

Finding Christ in the World - Week Seven: The Word Was Made Flesh

Notes from my time through the 18th Annotation of the Exercises:

Grace for the week: I ask to appreciate how God has saved us by sending the Son of God in our flesh.

We are "capable of self-knowledge, of self-possession, and of freely giving ourselves and entering into communion with other persons" (Cathechism, 357). For God is all of that and we will be reflecting His image eternally. (p. 122)

What could "likeness to God mean to us in our bodies?... Jesus of Nazareth is what it means. "In Him, in bodily form,  lives the divinity, and in Him too you find your own fulfillment" (Col. 2:9,10). [The Amplified Bible says, "For in Him the whole fullness of Deity (the Godhead), continues to dwell in bodily form -- giving complete expression of the divine nature. And you are in Him, made full and have come to fullness of life -- in Christ you too are filled with the Godhead: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and reach full spiritual stature."] Jesus shows how a human acts who is perfectly "in the likeness" of God. (p. 122)

Day 1: Jn 1:1-18

My Thought for the Day: The Light shines in the darkness. Testify to the light! From fullness we receive grace upon grace.

Day 2: Lk 1:26-38

In your presence, I am safe and still. 

My Thought for the Day: Do not be afraid, for you have found favor with God.

Willingness to cooperate with God. "Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word." 

Applying your prayer thoughts:

You are not a God who created us and left us to fend for ourselves. You are intimately involved in all our ways and have a global plan. You have been preparing me for Body and Soul Companion. I am ready. (Gene said, "You are competent but lack confidence.") How can I walk alongside (one of my directees)?

Day 3: Lk 1:26-38 Repetition

Gabriel was sent by God. "For nothing will be impossible with God." 

My Thought for the Day: The Lord is with you. 

Day 4: Lk 2:8-20

The word "glory" really stuck with me. "And the glory of the Lord shone around them...Glory to God in the highest heaven...The shepherds returned glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them." 

My Thought for the Day: Glory of the Lord shine through me. 

What about my life? Applying your prayer.

About the 365 instances of the Lord or his prophets or angels inviting the people, "Do not be afraid." One fear I want to be free of just now has ...  

Putting myself out there as a spiritual director, having a website. I fear rejection big-time. I want to be free of that. 

I am in awe that God would send the Son to earth to save us. I feel awe, delight, joy, love, peace. 

I ponder the glory of God. 

I ask the Lord about ... How I might live with the remembrance of his glory? I pray for ____. That she would glorify you and not be deceived. 

Day 5: Lk 2:8-20 Repetition

"The glory of the Lord shone around then...good news of great joy..glory to God..."Let us go now to Bethlehem and see this thing that has taken place...So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger...all who heard it were amazed...Mary treasured words and pondered them in her heart...The shepherds returned glorifying and praising God."

My Thought for the Day: Glory of the Lord shone around them. Shine around me, Lord. 

Day 6: Lk 2:39-40, 51-52

"The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom, and the favor of God was upon him...Jesus increased in wisdom and in years, and in divine and human favor."

My Thought for the Day: Continue to pray Lk 2:52 for my boys. 

Day 7: Lk 2:39-40; 51-52 Repetition

My Thought for the Day: Help me grow, become strong, and fill me with wisdom. 

22. Friday Night Lights

This was a timely read with what is happening in race relations right now. It is about high school football in Odessa, Texas. It follows the life of the key players and has a follow-up chapter 25 years since the book was published. 

The author really gave his all to this book, moving his family to Odessa, Texas for two years. His liberal bias comes in when he covers the Bush family (who lived in Odessa for a year), assuming what is in people's hearts and implying that all conservatives are idiots. This was 1988. That bias has been taken to a whole new level in today's climate.

The thing that was so surprising to me was that this town did not integrate until 1980, many years after Brown vs. Board of Education! 

I can totally understand why this book is on the 1000 Books to Read Before You Die list! 

21. Into the Deep: An Unlikely Catholic Conversion

This is an honest and transparent life story of a woman who has recently converted to Catholicism from an evangelical background. She tends to paint ALL evangelicals with a very broad brush that I found not accurate of the evangelicals that I know. Her foray into feminism was fascinating, and it helped me to understand the thought processes that I have never quite understood.

She also gives a very good explanation of the underpinnings of Catholic practices like male priests, the Eucharist (transubstantiation), and praying to Mary and the Saints. 

It was a worthwhile read. 

Sunday Examen Prayer of Saturday

The little message by James Martin was about Faith sharing - Gather four to five friends and see how God has been at work in your life. What has been going on in their prayer? Minimal response. Just simply listen and be present to what is going on in that person's spiritual life. You can see the different ways the Spirit is working in other people's lives. 

Examen of Saturday, July 18

Two or Three Things You are Grateful for:

1) See the Garbers in Avery Park after them moving 21 years ago to Virginia! What a treat to see such a wonderful family.

2) Having Sue to cheer me on as I subbed for Pilates at TAC for the first time in six months.

3) Walking to Iona's "Walking with God" recording. 

4) Listening to Dickens after the long slough through Atlas Shrugged. 

Whole Day: Noticing where God has been. Where did I accept the invitation to be loving grateful and to be myself? And where did I turn away from it?

Getting Up: I was calm, drank tea, and meditated on the Prodigal God in Luke 18. The oldest son's problem was lack of gratitude. He saw what he did not have rather than what he already had. That was a good word CONSOLATION.

Rest of the Morning: I noticed God in my loop walk with Pray as You Go's "Walking with God." It was so lovely to notice the colors and flowers and the sky and trees. To hear the wind rustling through the leaves. To pray for the people I passed. To smell the smells. To totally experience. I was nervous about TAC teaching, but this calmed me. Taught Pilates to four people, and Sue was there to cheer me on. YAY! I think one woman did not like it, but that is OK! 

Noon: My back was a little wonky after not doing Pilates for about two weeks (a full routine in a month). I took some medication and rested. That was wise and good. 

Afternoon: We rode our bikes to Avery Park to meet with the Garbers. That was so nice! They are such a great family, and it was fun to chat after 21 years. Rode back from 3-3:30, and I love to ride my bike! I need to do more prayer biking for the rest of the summer. I also listened to Bleak House by Charles Dickens, and I love him! 

Evening: George made Masak Merah ("Red Meat" in Malay). I stuck well to my eating plan (even though the scale did not reflect it this morning - I took ibuprofen, and that often makes me retain water). I watched Zac Ephron's Down to Earth show. WOW! I love it! It was recommended by more than one on Netflix. So life-giving to see things around the world from geothermal energy in Iceland to clean water in France. 

Fell fast asleep.

Regrets: Cannot think of one thing that I regret from the day.

Thing from the Day that was Especially Meaningful: Probably being at Avery Park and visiting with the Garbers! They are such a great family! 

Amen! 

20. Atlas Shrugged

This was so hard to get through, but it was a worthwhile read, and I totally can understand why Mustich has it on the 1000 Books to Read Before You Die List. I have to admit that I got the movies and watched them again to motivate myself to finish the book. The movies are not very good, but sometimes it helps me to have a visual picture to get through books. 

There are no heroes in this book. There are the hard-core capitalists who live only for themselves, and there are the socialists who are not really humanitarians but use that as a ruse to gain power. Rand was a hard-core atheist, and she thought philosophers should run the world. She is an idealist. Her capitalist utopia would never fly, but the communist utopias have never flown either. Man is sinful. She didn't believe that. So she wrote a dystopian/utopian novel. I still thought it was a fascinating read. 

Here is an interview with the author. It is a great 1967 interview with Johnny Carson. So worth watching. She is a hard-core atheist. 

19. Silence by Endo

This is an important book to read. It is beautifully written. It is a fictional portrayal of real-life Jesuit priests who brought the gospel to Japan in the 1500s. Religious persecution was terrible at that point in history. 

It is a hard but great story. 

Here are a couple of articles that are helpful as you read this great book: 

https://www.americamagazine.org/arts-culture/2017/01/18/fr-james-martin-answers-5-common-questions-about-silence (This is by Father James Martin who consulted on the film version.) 

file:///C:/Users/gcwea/Downloads/fulltext_stamped%20(2).pdf

Friday Freewrite and Prayerful Examen

First of all. My website is live:

https://bodyandsoulcompanion.com/

I'm having a focus issue this morning. I woke up at 3:55 am, and I have the whole day free. I did that on purpose. I think I am going to do my best to keep Fridays as my "totally free" day. 

Thursday was nice. I got up and had time in Lk 12. Verse three was a source of conversation with the Lord, "Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be proclaimed from the housetops." I felt convicted about saying something I shouldn't have said to two of my besties. 

After this, I took to the NE part of town for a two hour Corvallis "Purple Pavement to Prepare for the Prince of Peace" Prayer walk. So nice to do this so early in the morning that I can cross 99 unhindered and before the heat came. It was lovely. 

After a good stretching time, I listened to Atlas Shrugged and worked on the closet and files in my spiritual direction room. I also worked on some corrections on my new website because the web designer gave me the direct link to make corrections. (They did not proofread it very well. I mistakes are not in the copy I gave them, but they are on the website.) I also set up a direction time with a possible new directee who wants to learn about the Enneagram. I will have five new directees. I think I still have four from last year too. 

At 12:30, I had a Centering Prayer time with people from the Bay Area. Then, they discussed the book Open Heart, Open Home. I just listened in because I have not read the book. 

In the afternoon, I talk to a friend of a friend. I wanted to hear how she was doing, her perspective as a black woman in a predominantly white town, and her thoughts being a Christian with all that is happening in our country. I did not really get to ask questions. I felt like she just needed someone to listen to her. She is a very solid believer with a wonderful family. I was shocked by some of the things that have happened to her. I shouldn't be surprised by some people's actions and attitudes in this town. Some of my questions were answered in the process. I wanted to ask how she was really doing inside with all the stuff that was going on, but I did not really have that opportunity.

Then, I rushed home to get to the Book Babes discussion on Silence.  Then, I relaxed and watched a little TV and fell fast asleep. 

Grateful: for a lovely morning prayer walk, beans and rice, losing four pounds, centering prayer, Book Babes' discussion on Silence. 

Consolations of the Day: God's presence was very real to me during my time in Luke 12, walk, centering prayer.

Desolations: I will keep that one private. But I just typed a whole paragraph, but it is best that I not share. 

Most Meaningful Part of the Day: I could have said all the things I was grateful for, but the thing I am most grateful for is God telling me to just listen when I was disappointed over not having a dialogue in the afternoon. 

Love for Today: It is "love your neighbor" Friday. I may bake some bread or I may just have a self-care day. I am a bit tired from the week. 

Open Mind, Open Heart

"Centering prayer is not so much the absence of thoughts as detachment from them. It is the opening of mind and heart, body and emotions―our whole being―to God, the Ultimate Mystery, beyond words, thoughts, and motions―beyond, in other words, the psychological content of the present moment. In centering prayer we do not deny or repress what is in our consciousness.  We simply accept the fact of whatever is there and go beyond it, not by effort, but by letting go of whatever is there."   

Chapter 1, Open Mind Open Heart

I am going to be discussing this book with a Zoom Group of Benedictines in California. I have not read it yet, but I keep on reading quotes from it. So, I am going to get it from the library and read it with these nice people. 

Monday Examen

Examen of Yesterday, July 12

Two or three things I am grateful for:

1) LOOONG prayer walk down Highland/10th to Harrison and back up 11th. SO good to be out early and walking. 

2) Controlled eating! Thankful for this new Weight Watchers journey.

3) As always, my lovely family. 

PRAYERFUL REVIEW OF THE DAY

Beginning:

Weighed in for the first time in 300 days: I was too "afraid to weigh" before that. At first, it was a desolation, but then I prayed and realized that I had only gained four pounds in that 300 days which is the same amount of overeating per day that my BMR has reduced this year due to age. Rather than upset, I was encouraged that the only things I really have to do is 1) adjust my eating for my BMR that goes down every year (and build up muscle weight to combat that), and 2) get rid of my broken leg weight that was inevitable with being sedentary for 8 weeks (I probably overate about 950 calories a day with all the meals brought to me)! 

Chai tea and prayer of John 5:2-9: "Stand up, take your mat and walk" in Week 5 of Finding Christ in the World. CONSOLATION from God in that he really has healed me of the hurt from December 23, true freedom and walking forward. I still need to complete my review of Week 5 because I start Week 6 today. SO GOOD!

Rest of the morning:

Prayerwalk - Such focused time for the houses I passed. Praying the Lord's Prayer. Each time I repeated a block due to circling down side streets, I listened to my book. That was satisfying.

Shower and stretch after. 

Lunchtime:

Good eating - CONSOLATION! That was the biggest DESOLATION last year. My accountability on LoseIt! was just not working for me anymore, and it became more of a weight than a wing. I needed a change, and WW is it. (Thank you for suggesting it Heather, even though you didn't realize that you did).

Afternoon:

Encouragement - I love WW CONNECT! I posted an intro video, and there is so much encouragement! It is so much less clunky than LoseIt!

Watched another documentary on Diana. Cried through the whole thing. Listened to Atlas Shrugged. Felt a little lazy, but I accepted it.

Plotted my prayer walking/biking over the last week. 

Watched News. I am trying to reduce this because it can be very desolating. 

Evening: George fixed a yummy meal. I was happy. 

End of the day: Fell asleep at probably 9:30? I am watching American Gospel. I am not sure I like it. 

Regrets: At first I felt guilty for having such a lazy day! I wish we would have watched the sermon for the week, but we all forgot! 

Overall: CONSOLATION and nearness of God all day. Walking in the healing he has given me. Maybe that is why it seems like mindful eating has become easier now. I am cleared from the heartache that took so long. It was going to Jeff's cabin really. That "Walking with God." 

One thing that was really meaningful: Prayer Walk. So good for my body and for my soul! Loved lifting up my precious city. 

LOVE for today: On my directee who is coming at 10am.