Adventures of Augie March

The writing is excellent. People do live lives of quiet desperation though. Sigh. 

Here is why James Mustich thinks it should be one of the 1000 Books You Read Before You Die:

The title of Saul Bellow’s third novel evokes Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, and the voice that tells it—like the one Mark Twain created for Huck—is alive with the rhythms and energies of speech. The book’s irrepressible hero grows up in a poor Jewish household during the Great Depression. He ventures out from the family circle to find his way in the world, trying his hand at a motley assortment of jobs and encountering a host of colorful schemers, scammers, dreamers, and lovers. Ever restless, always hungering for experience, Augie roams from Chicago to Mexico and on into postwar Europe—“Look at me, going everywhere!” he taunts himself—where he’s wheeling and dealing at story’s end, still searching “for the right thing to do, for a fate good enough.” The worlds through which he passes and the characters he meets are rendered with a richness and a density that is true to life rather than to art; and Augie’s ardent inner life—fueled by the philosophies, plans, and passions he embraces and discards—plays out in pool rooms, department stores, apartment houses, and conversations, just like our own soulful enthusiasms. For six hundred pages, Bellow wrestles Augie’s buoyant encounters with experience into sentences that are extraordinary in their capacity: “They are like hall closets,” Joan Acocella has written, “you open them and everything falls out.” 
 

He is Named (A God in All Things Meditation)

God In All Things · And He Is Named

I love this meditation on these four names of God! 

The Triumph of Grace

Sunday Freewrite

I decided to not go to church today. I meant to, but I got lost in a project, and George was putting on his shoes, and I was still in my pajamas! George did have a meeting after church. So I would have had to wait for him for a couple of hours. So it is good I didn't go with him. 

Oh well.

It has been a lovely time alone. I hear the kids got up but only more recently. Someone is playing the Ware Patterson Duo CD from 1993. I love that my kids love classical music. We went to the Christmas Concert at OSU, and there was a flute solo that inspired them to play this CD. 

I have had a wonderful, deep-down peace for the last couple of hours. It is that peace presence. No anxiety about anything and close to God's presence. I would say it is more like the whole morning. 

I think it is the conclusion of a great weekend. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were the Discernment Retreat for the 2HC, and I think it went really, really well. I loved leading different small groups. This is my favorite of the three retreats. I have many of the discernment practices printed out (because most are from Elizabeth Liebert's excellent book, ) but I love seeing how to do this in community and not just individually. I would love to lead a discernment retreat in the future. It is really helpful, and it is about leading a lifestyle of discernment, really. Noticing God in the midst of everything. It really goes back to Beth's talks on seeing God in the ordinary of everyday life. 

So the peace was through most of the retreat. I did my 20 hours of silence on Thursday from 9 am to 5 am Friday instead of when most of the people do it. this was mainly because the Discernment Retreat Day of Silence always falls on the day of the OSU Christmas Concert, and it was just awkward not to interact with my family during the evening. So I switched it to Thursday since I am no longer teaching at OSU on that day (or any day). 

Speaking of not teaching at OSU, that was part of my silent retreat. Last year's retreat was the last day of my term. So I did take a break in the middle of it, but I had SO MUCH going on. I was 90 percent done with all these projects, and it was so nice for this retreat to not have things hanging over my head that I needed to complete. And I could just bask in gratitude for the GOOD DISCERNMENT I was able to exercise in saying good-bye to some things to create more margin in my life. I am less at the behest of other people and deadlines. I am so much FREER this year! YAY! This is because discernment is not about me and how great I am at making decisions, but it is about God speaking and letting him lead and guide me. 

Discernment leads to peace. 

Oh, one thing that came up when people were saying what they gleaned from the retreat was "I think we are trying too hard at this." Then when the leaders were debriefing, I told them about Trevor saying that we need to "pay attention to our resistance to joy."

Then one of the other leaders texted me a great "ditty" he wrote in reaction to that comment. I will ask him if it is OK to share it here. For now, I better go! 

Friday Freewrite Fifteen

I don't think I have quite adjusted to the new normal for me. I don't have to go to OSU to work! I didn't realize the time it would free up until after I came back from the Camino because getting ready for that was a whole lot of work. 

We just finished hour 8 of the 11 hours of the 2nd Half Collaborative Retreat 2 on Discernment. The rest of them are now in a Silent Retreat of 20 hours from 9 am Friday to 5 am Saturday Pacific time. The rule is no social media and no music or reading (not my rules - I would probably allow music and reading), but I did my Silent Retreat yesterday because I knew that we would be going, as a family, to the Holiday Concert at OSU, and last year, it was so hard to go to it and not be able to say anything to my family (although my boys didn't even notice until George told them at the intermission of the concert). So, I switched it up and took a long walk in snow and sunshine, and it was glorious. I am continuing on with a retreat of sorts but according to Carol's rules since I already had my 20 hours of silence. 

So I just listened to Paul Zach's album that just dropped called Christmas Hymns. I love it. I just had a "heaven-touching earth" moment while listening. God is so good.

I like having this extra day to really unpack this silent retreat too. It was a lot of walking and reflecting on the last year, and one big thing that jumps out to me is that I am living a more discerning life these days (because I have been taught so well by others), and I am living in the fruit of living the discerning life (I have the discernment retreat from LAST year to thank for that too - so thank you, 2HC peeps, for creating such an awesome curriculum that I get to be a part of by leading a small group and doing spiritual direction with two of the people!). The choice to leave OSU was a good one. I did take a walk there in my silent retreat, and I know I loved my students, and I had so many sweet memories of those students that I take with me. But I made the best decision to leave! 

Well, there is my bell, and I want to do some more journaling about my retreat. 

BYE BYE 

Friday Freewrite Fifteen

I have a paid subscription to use www.quotefancy.com

Today, in the Ignatian Spirituality Center Friday Prayer Time, we had some things to pray about after hearing music and how it relates to prayer.

Have you ever been encouraged by a song at a difficult moment?

ALL THE TIME! Many times, it is a secular song too. The one above comes to mind. There is a theme to many of these songs that came to mind during this prayer time:

"I Hope You Dance" by LeAnn Womack 

When I had just had enough of the stuff with a partner, I had at a dysfunctional church I had been a part of for several years. I felt sorry for this woman who seemed to be sidelined in the church. I had been overseas and did not know the TROUBLE she had caused. She wanted to lead and no one would let her lead. So I told the leadership that I would take her under my wing. BIG MISTAKE. I should have checked out her background. I should have trusted my discernment when I saw red flags!  

She dropped out of our co-leading halfway through the year and went to the leadership and spun a tale about me. I still, to this day, do not know what she said to them. I did not do one thing to warrant her wrath, but she trashed me big time. 

(I got a big apology from the two leaders after everything was all sifted out.)

This was my liberation song from her clutches. (She ended up having an affair and leaving her husband and two small children a couple of years later. I still have NO IDEA what she told the leadership I supposedly did. I was nothing but KIND to her the whole time we partnered together in leading a study.) 

This is a song of FREEDOM from her. I was able to DANCE after that, and God opened up a wonderful door for investing in women hungry to grow. It was lovely after that. God told me in the shower when it came to that woman, "You have discernment. Use it!" I just let my compassion and compulsion to "help" her get me into such trouble. 

"Wasted" by Carrie Underwood

Again, roped into leading with a person from that church. I finally had enough and left that church after 27 years. This song was a song about liberation too. I had discerned things with this person in the past, but I was told she had "changed" so I took a risk and partnered with her. There were so many "red flags" during our preparation in leadership. The other leader saw them and backed out at the last minute. I just went in hoping that I could love that person enough to make it work. It was a disaster and again, I was slandered to the leadership. She did the same thing to a person after me who also left the church. We left on June 16, 2006, and I celebrate it as my "Liberation Day" every year! 

"Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac

This was back in the 70s when I allowed myself to be manipulated into a romantic relationship. God kept telling me to leave, but I was in my late teens, and I was "afraid of changing because I built my life around [that person]." I was able to break away on March 17, 1979, and I celebrate that day as my anniversary of "Marriage to the Lord" day! (I had been "engaged" from September 17, 1969, to March 17, 1979, but He had all of me on that day. 

I am not a quitter but in all of those times, it was time to leave. Those three songs were the first that came to mind, but there are COUNTLESS others. 

They are all songs of freedom, and what I have learned is to choose your friends wisely. When someone shows you who they are, believe them! I listen to my discernment and go the other way now. :) 

How is music part of your prayer life?

I really love Pray as You Go because there is always music that helps me enter in, but I have to say that music is not as much a part of my life since I don't help lead worship at church anymore. I would always have those songs in my head the whole week. I have been praying the Psalms since August and have been convinced that I need to be more intentional about music. 

In what ways does God want to communicate with you?

All ways. In silence. In word prayer. Through his word. Through music. 

That was fun to remember how far I have come. 

Undaunted Courage

I have had this book for years (it was a giveaway at my library), but I had not read it. My book club put it on this year's list, and I realized I was going to need to read it by 7 pm today. 

I started early and read and read and finished it in a day. It is a great book. A page-turner!

Lewis is the main character. I did not know that Jefferson had such an influence on him even before the journey of discovery. It is a great book. I think Lewis was a perfectionist and had a mental illness though. So sorry for him.

What an adventure though! 

The Autobiography of Santa Claus

I found this book pretty delightful! I know much of it is just fantasy. It is a trip through history that I found enchanting. It was recommended to me by a young mom who is reading it to her two small children. 

We have been celebrating St. Nicholas Day since my kids were toddlers. We just had Santa Claus, Are You for Real? This would be a great one to read leading up to that holiday! 

From Goodreads

It all started when Jeff Guinn was assigned to write a piece full of little-known facts about Christmas for his paper, The Fort Worth Star-Telegram. A few months later, he received a call from a gentleman who told him that he showed the story to an important friend who didn't think much of it. And who might that be? asked Jeff. The next thing he knew, he was whisked off to the North Pole to meet with this "very important friend," and the rest is, well, as they say, history.

An enchanting holiday treasure, The Autobiography of Santa Claus combines solid historical fact with legend to deliver the definitive story of Santa Claus. And who better to lead us through seventeen centuries of Christmas magic than good ol' Saint Nick himself? Families will delight in each chapter of this new Christmas classic-one per each cold December night leading up to Christmas!

Cultivating God's Presence

I heard about this book when the author was interviewed for the Order of the Mustard Seed Podcast:

https://soundcloud.com/user-735923853/season-4-episode-11-richard-roberts

 I was intrigued. So, I bought the book to read on my Camino to Castlewellan journey. The part I read during that was wonderful. Once I got home, the part in the middle was a little repetitive about history and such.  I have read extensively about Monasticism and Celtic Christianity. So, the middle was a bit boring for me. It was redeemed at the end by talking about elements of a Rule of Life that I found useful!

What is really providential is that he is a regular speaker and trustee at Ffald y Brenin (The Sheepfold of the King) in Wales. This is the conference center that the spiritual formation group I work for (2HC - do it! It is that good) is considering for our opening retreat next year! The day I found this out was the day I read about it, and he speaks about this place extensively in his book. That was cool! 

Seeking God: Finding Another Kind of Life with St. Ignatius and Dallas Willard

I really liked this book by Trevor Hudson. I love St. Ignatius and the Spiritual Exercises (I offer them - look on my ministry website: https://bodyandsoulcompanion.com/services )

I also loved hearing Dallas Willard's words integrated into Trevor's book. I hope this encourages more people who will pray the Exercises. They were life-changing for me, and I hope they are for a whole new generation of people. 

If you are going to read this, join the Renovare Book Club, and you will have access to a podcast by Trevor, and articles that he has written about this book. They are invaluable. 

Friday Freewrite Fifteen

Me at Peavy Arboretum 

The sun will rise in 22 minutes. So, I will use 15 of them for a nice Freewrite on my trusty blog. I have been blogging since 2004 (this is the second blog because the other one disappeared for a while and reappeared many years after I had started this one. I cannot remember when I switched to this one.). 

So I am feeling 100% better. I think the last few days were not COVID but were JETLAG! It is a real thing, and I don't care if others say, "Oh it doesn't take me that much time to recover from it...blah...blah...blah." (Telling me I am wrong for feeling jet lag SO MANY days after my return from Europe or wherever. Not wrong for feeling this way people. It is just that you are probably always tired. I am a person who is rarely tired. So, when I am tired it is usually for a reason which can be JETLAG or sickness.) I ALWAYS take 1 day for every hour difference in the time zone. So, this is day nine back, and I slept until I usually sleep (which is 4 am) and stayed up as late as I usually stay up the previous night. So, I have a TON of energy this morning. No sniffles. No cough. Lots of energy. I am a bunny this morning. YAY!

Note to self: DO NOT SCHEDULE things for at least five days after you return. It was crazy to have an out-of-town guest and start a contemplative cohort and meet 2-3 directees a day. GIVE YOURSELF SPACE, Carol, next time. But I loved having Bene here. It could not be helped. Maybe could have cut our time in Northern Ireland short to have space to recover (also would not have gotten COVID in the first place). Oh well, live and learn!

Today, I listened to Trevor Hudson's podcast that came out last Monday, and it was so spot on about two things 1) that often the spiritual formation movement can leave out mission. This is one of the reasons I did not connect with Renovare. In fact, one book that we read for the book club was SO OFF BASE when it came to mission [I will not mention the name of it or the author] that I almost threw the book across the room! So, I thank Trevor for having the humility to admit this. I loved what he said, "The world is God's first fiance. Where I am is to share God's love with the world." Good words. 2) that we need to be "shaping a life that has space for joy... we are a people who should be overwhelmed with joy...notice our resistance to joy."  AMEN again. I 100% agree. I am not saying to deny our emotions but to really notice if we think it is something we should not be characterized by. God gave me the name Carol (song of joy) for a reason.

Speaking of joy. I had a clean cancer check again eight years after Melanoma. Many don't know that I had it. But I had the beginning stages, and my friend, Abigail, caught it early on. So, as a celebration, I went for a walk in McDonald Forest/Peavy Arboretum. I love that place. I almost did not do it because it was foggy and cold, but it was above the fog. So, I had a glorious 45-minute walk among the fall leaves. They are down earlier this year due to the storm that came in over the weekend, but I got the glorious tail end of it. I did a little video about seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting nature. I will see if I can post it here.

Now is the time to leave after 15 minutes. 

Happy Friday! 

POST COVID FREEWRITE

I started this two days ago. So, I am starting over again. One of my directees and I were talking about the importance of writing for us, and I told her I did freewrites almost daily and that I used to post them on my blog a lot. It made me miss more regular freewrites. I do them more in my private journal now though.

So, I am one week out from our return to Corvallis from the Camino and Castlewellan. It will be at 2:35 today. My COVID symptoms are totally gone now, but George still has a lingering cough and also has no taste or smell. It is amazing how we all react to this virus differently.

So, for the last few days I have had a steady stream of directees. I was busy from Friday to Monday. Friday, I started a Contemplative Cohort with people from all over the world. I also met with one of my directees who is finishing up the Spiritual Exercises. After that meeting, I made a handout for my Contemplative Cohort. (You can view it on my Body and Soul Companion blog if you want to join in the "November is for Noticing God in All Things" practice.) Then I picked up my guest (childhood and college friend) for the weekend. Thankfully, she went out with my basketball buddies on Friday night because I was still in quarantine. Then I got up the next morning and fixed her breakfast because my sweet George was so sick. We had no groceries, but John and Katherine went shopping for us and delivered them to our door! I had to isolate myself from my guest until an hour before the banquet for the OSU Hall of Fame and Trailblazer inductees. This all left me pretty wiped out. It is enough to deal with jetlag but COVID for both of us made having a guest difficult. I took her to the shuttle at 4:45 am on Monday morning and crashed afterward. (Note to self - give yourself a buffer when you come back - I could see us not doing the Gathering and Castlewellan and going directly home after the Camino, but we did not know about the Hall of Fame banquet until after we had already booked these tickets, and I am glad we did it all because it was so lovely to meet all the 24-7/Order of the Mustard Seed people. I am also so glad to see my friend, and it would have been rude not to have her stay with us!) 

I canceled my two Monday directees and rescheduled them for Thursday. I also did not make it to Silent Prayer and had a total rest day. (Except I had to write a recommendation letter that was due and couldn't get to until coming back from overseas.) I was much more refreshed for the two directees I had on Tuesday and the one I had this morning because of the rest. 

Now I am waiting on hearing back from my partner, Dan, about meeting to discuss our small group and another woman who is RIGHT in my target group for spiritual directees! She contacted me, out of the blue, when we arrived in Santiago. I am waiting to set up a time for a meeting with her and am very excited about this relationship. 

The sun is shining brilliantly. So, when it gets a little warmer (32 degrees right now), we will go walk in the sunshine and enjoy the fall leaves!

I think my time is up for this freewrite. TTFN!

Camino to Castlewellan Freewrite

I have been journaling in a special book for the Camino to Castlewellan journey, and now I am back to my little cozy corner in the place I call "home"! I loved our journey of 17 days. I have been journaling a lot about it because I don't want to forget everything I learned.

I am bleary-eyed and forced myself back to sleep three times last night. I fell asleep at 7:30 pm. Then I woke up again at 9 pm, 11 pm, 2 am, etc. Then I finally allowed myself to get up at 5 am. I made it to the 2nd Prayer Watch of the Order of the Mustard Seed at 5:30 am. I loved it, and I will probably go to the 8:30 am Pacific Coast one too. I will probably go to Silent Prayer also. I want to get back into a regular schedule, and this is the way to do that.

Overall, the trip was fantastic. There was one night when I lost it, our first night in Santiago, but John and Katherine, and George were so kind to me. I have never lost it in front of them, and the emotions of returning to Santiago after 40 years and the perceived expectations with a group of that size were a little overwhelming for me. John said that he was convinced that there was enemy involvement in even trying to get there. I have to agree. I am so grateful for Aisha and John and Katherine and George who really picked up on things and prayed into them. I am glad I did not walk the Camino alone. I am glad that the people who asked to go on the trip did come because John and Katherine were more of our pace and positivity. I loved how encouraging they were. It was so good. I am so grateful they decided to come along for the ride. It was not the trip I dreamed of when I invited Elizabeth and Stacy and Eunice. I am glad we walked our own Camino. I am glad I am not alone. I am never alone with you Lord. Never alone. I learned about the importance of community on this trip. I learned the importance of choosing your companions wisely. I learned that the last time I was here, I was totally, unequivocally ALONE. Ron was so sweet to say that he had no idea the abuse I suffered, and he wished he would have known. I did feel utterly ALONE, but this time I was not alone. "We walked in love with the wind on our wings/Covered the earth with the songs we'd sing/the miles flew by." Thank you, God, for the miles flying by in every way. 

24-7 Gathering was overwhelming. I liked most of the talks. I was too exhausted to go to one of them, and that is when people tell you how much you "missed" by not going. Why do people do that? How do they know what I would have missed or not missed? I am different, and I have never been a BIG, MASSIVE group person. I like more intimate, smaller gatherings of people. The Castlewellan retreat was much better for me, but even then, George and I felt we wanted to get out and experience the beauty all around us and journal in silence and solitude. 

My timer never went off. So, this was longer than a fifteen-minute freewrite. BYE!

Orthodoxy by Chesterton

I am really looking forward to Justine unpacking this book for me in the Renovare Book Club (highly recommend it - they have great resources to help you understand) because I was not that into it. It is my first read-through as I prepare for the book club. We won't start reading it with Justine until January, and I am hoping it sinks more deeply because it has always been on my bucket list of reading! 

I do like the message. It is just theology and logic that I don't need to follow God. I know my theology because of my studies, but I am into ENCOUNTER rather than more INSIGHT. :) 

Stay tuned! 

Soul Journey

I went to a workshop on this book with the author and loved it. I journaled quite a bit, and she was lovely (except she mentioned the Creation story as not really being real which I disagree with, but it did not affect how I felt about her). I read the book in preparation for this wonderful journey I am going on. I really believe the Camino will be a "soul journey" for me, and this was perfect!

Buen Camino! 

The Way is Made by Walking

 

This is one man's account of him walking the entire Camino de Santiago (French Way). It is a dear book (some parts more interesting than others as it really took me a while to get into the rhythm of his writing), and I loved reading it in preparation for my journey of just 71 miles of it. 

There are many quotes that I would love to include here. Maybe someday when I have more time. 

I want to post the journaling when you get back for people

From p. 190:

* What message or themes did God give you on this journey?

• What do you want to remember well from this pilgrimage?
* What was the best aspect of this time? What was the hardest?
• How did this experience change or affect your understanding of God? Your relationship with God?
• How would you like this experience to affect your life? Or your relationship with God?
* What do you need to have the pilgrimage continue to bear fruit?
 
You can do a number of things with such questions and issues:

• Journal about them.
• Find other ways to remember your journey: create a photo album or scrapbook, report on the Camino to your small group or Sunday school class, write an article for the local paper or a denominational
magazine.
• Pray about what you learned
* Talk about these matters with significant others (family, spiritual friends, spiritual mentors or directors, small group).
• Testify to fellow believers about what God has done with you on this pilgrimage.
• Find ways to be accountable for what you heard from God on this venture.
* Put keepsakes or mementos, stones or shells, art or icons, in places of prominence in your home or workplace to help you remember.

One Camino anthropologist believes that we do not do well at integrating pilgrimage learning into daily life as most "have no ritual of reintegration into the society we live in" Invite your friends or small group to join you in a time of worship. Share what God did through your pilgrimage and ask for prayers and support in living out the challenges ahead. 

Even the Sparrow

This is my second read-through, and I spent more time focusing on the activities at the end of each of the chapters. They are really good. I made a little journal out of the activities. 

Jill is such a talented and wonderful leader. I think people will learn so much from this memoir!

Tuesday Freewrite Fifteen Minutes

I think I will journal an Examen here for my freewrite. This will be an Examen from yesterday morning to right now (5:34 am). 

Big Breath: I ask you God to be with me. Relaxing.

Two or three things I am grateful for:

1. Elaine in Silent Prayer - her enthusiasm about meeting me
2. A mile walk up and down a hill without any pain
3. Claire, Elizabeth, Kat, and Katarina - stellar people to lead through the OMS Year of Preparation. 

Notice where God has been - where I accepted God invitation to loving, grateful and myself and where did I turn away from it. 

Morning - Good. I slept later than usual. I think I got eight hours, but later for me is about 4:45 or so? Meditation in the Psalms. Lectio365 was about Jesus being the bread of life, and how the SIGN STATEMENTS revealed something important about His identity and mission. Since I have been working with people on identity and the Cycle of Grace, it was so thrilling for me to have this be what we are doing this week in Lectio365! 

This leads to how we are to be a sign. I wrote in my journal "What sign then will you give?" But I cannot find that phrase in the devotional. I must have added it myself. 

Then I had an Examen time from my wonderful, restful Sunday.

Psalm 61: Loved the whole thing.

Then I prepared a Visio Divina for my last OMS Cohort. It was fun to create a PowerPoint, and I will put other pictures in there with it in the future. 

LATER MORNING

I led the last Order of the Mustard Seed Year of Preparation Cohort. 

For me, the Visio Divina was entitled "Breakthrough to Freedom" Making a hole for others to climb through. I need not be afraid of bloody hands in the process. Here is the picture.

We had a blessing time at the end, and it was lovely. I was so proud of Katarina who had never done something like that before, and her blessings were so beautiful. Claire had also prepared some wonderful ones based on Scriptures God had given, and the rest of us were more prophetic in nature. I had a general blessing for all. 

All in all, it was a lovely way to end the whole 10 months. I am so happy I led this group.

Mid Morning - I prepared to lead the Silent Prayer time and figured out how to get into the Zoom room.

NOON - Three other people joined me for Silent Prayer. I did a devotional with a Breath Prayer of Psalm 46:10. It was lovely and went really well.

AFTERNOON - I did thorough stretching and walked a mile around the block with no pain. YAY! I came back and rolled and watched the news.

EVENING - I watched a mindless show and fell asleep really early (again)! My evenings are where I feel like I want a practice of Presence. I think a short silent prayer time and Examen. I am so out of it by that time! Reading is difficult too. I love it when people are over, but I don't do well with spiritual direction on Zoom at that time!

My eating was great today! My exercise was great! YAY!

Where I turned away: I regret giving George a hard time about paying expedited shipping on something that would have gotten there in plenty of time. I apologized right after! Thank you for Your forgiveness and a very understanding husband! This is a foretaste of me being mindful of not worrying about spending on our Spain trip! I know people will try to nickel and dime us (especially the local airlines), and I need to "let it go!" 

What was especially meaningful? I think that my OMS Cohort was so especially meaningful, Lord. So amazingly meaningful in every way. I really grew to love them, and this is just what small groups do. 

This was my final blessing for them:

My prayer for you

May the Father of Life pour out His grace on you; 

may you feel His hand in everything you do 

and be strengthened by the things He brings you through: 

this is my prayer for you.

May the Son of God be Lord in all your ways; 

may He shepherd you the length of all your days, 

and in your heart may He receive the praise: 

this is my prayer for you.

And despite how simple it may sound, 

I pray that His grace will abound 

and motivate everything you do; 

and may the fullness of His love be shared through you.

May His Spirit comfort you, and make you strong,

may He discipline you gently when you’re wrong, 

and in your heart may He give you a song: 

this is my prayer for you.

May Jesus be Lord in all your ways, 

may He shepherd you the length of all your days, 

and in your heart may He receive the praise: 

this is my prayer for you, my prayer for you.

The Well Update: The Well-Tuned Body

See below to find out about these pictures!

I didn't expect this all to go on for so long, but this has been a good exercise for me to go through each component of the Well Update more thoroughly.

Well-Tuned Body

I have been building up from 1 mile on May 3rd with my Fitness walking class to a 15-mile day on September 16th in preparation for the Camino de Santiago from Sarria. I was fine until nine days ago when I started having pain while going downhill in Peavy Arboretum on September 22nd. I had it again after 3 miles on the flat on September 23. I went straight to the doctor on Monday morning and was so glad I did because the IT band was rubbing over the knee, and it had swollen. It is the repetitive motion that did it (coupled by having one leg shorter than the other, tight hips and legs, going on uneven surfaces in places like the arboreteum, etc.). So, I have a plan (already put that in a previous post).

What was so discouraging though was getting on the doctor's scale and discovering I had not lost as much weight as I thought. I have followed my Weight Watchers plan FAITHFULLY since July 27th. I was not weighing because I wanted to do it by "feel," and I discovered my capacity for self-deception is great! I have come to the conclusion that WW is more for people who do not eat very healthy and have a lot of weight to lose, and the "points" reward you for eating healthy things, but I already eat healthy things, and not counting any points for fruit means I don't lose. I LOVE FRUIT more than candy or even ice cream! Fruit is ZERO points. So, I ate a lot of fruit, and now that I am back on LoseIt (free or $20 a year for tons of cool features, but I have mostly used the free version since 2/2010), those fruits were adding a LOT of calories to my day. I had a lot of self-condemnation (even looking at myself in the mirror and scolding myself - yikes), and I was angry that I missed 9 weeks of losing because I was deceiving myself by not weighing. I am tall, and the weight on me just distributes itself. It is just hard to tell when I am losing, but I noticed my rings were not getting looser on my hand, and that usually happens when I lose weight. 

I am technically not overweight in the first place but at the top of my ideal weight range, but I always feel so much better in the middle of the range. 

I am comparing WW and LoseIt this week, and on their plan, I am eating between 10-14 points while I am following a calorie method in LoseIt. WW gives me 23 points a day plus adds points for all the exercise, and I exercise a LOT. I never used all my bonus points each week, and I was still NOT losing! (Maybe I lost about 5 pounds in 8 weeks? I am not sure because I was deceiving myself by not weighing.) I like WW because it is quicker to log, but I would rather take a little extra time weighing and measuring and losing weight than not losing without weighing and measuring. It has gone much better with LoseIt! I am 10 lbs. behind my goal and wasted time and money, but the self-condemnation is over now. It was a growing experience for me. 

About the exercise. I was walking so much. I burn100 calories per mile. I was doing Pilates pretty consistently for the last month, but this new program of stretching and strengthening that the doctor and Jennifer, my adorable physical therapist, have for me take an HOUR to complete! I realize that I was not stretching enough before I went for my walks, and my glute strength had decreased since I was not teaching four classes a week. I need a balance between bodywork and calorie burn. I have done the exercises for six days now, and I can already feel a difference. I am resting from walking for ten days, and I enjoy it. The weather has been beautiful for the last two days, but I am sticking to the instructions.

Speaking of sticking to the instructions, I was given a cream to apply to the swelling in my knee, and after four days of doing this, my knee got all these welts on it and inflamed red. I called the doctor on Saturday night and got a nice nurse who asked me lots of questions and told me I am OK and was an allergic reaction. I think I did not wait long enough to go in the shower after I put it on. The heat from the shower apparently makes it stronger. I am going to discontinue it totally because that was scary! My swelling has also gone down, and I will keep icing it until I see Jennifer on Wednesday.

My back is doing great! I am grateful. The tight IT band is no doubt related to the chain or my left side with tight hips that influence my back on the left side also. So, the exercises help my back also.  I feel really good other than the knee.

I have to say that I have loved the rest. Jennifer says I should have been tapering anyway. So, I will just do shorter walks from now on.

Rest and pause. When I did my Corrective Exercise Specialist certification, they made a big deal about an hour of total rest every day, and I am doing that in silent/centering prayer. I think this is important for my body and my soul to have complete inner stillness (of the body), inner silence (of the mind), and inner solitude (of the heart alone with God)! See my article on this on my website: 

Contemplative Rest in a Busy World

I think I am prepared in heart, soul, mind, and strength for the Camino. I am praying God protects and guides all nine of us as we go on this dream adventure. 

The Well Update - The Well-Educated Mind

 

I have not delved this deep into a Well Update in YEARS! I think it is because I am tapering off on my spiritual direction appointments and have tapered off (and stopped until next Wednesday) on my walking. I only had about seven hours of direction both individual and group. (It was supposed to be nine, but I had one who didn't show up (twice) and a cancellation due to internet issues.) And I am devoting about an hour to concentrated stretching and strengthening with a bit of Pilates. I should be swimming, but I am not too worried about my cardio on the Camino. That is good (but I digress and appropriate for the "Well-Tuned Body" portion of this Well update! LOL!)

The Well-Educated Mind

I didn't even want to do this part of the update because I have not been working through the book pictured above. I am #9 out of 2,126 people on the List Challenge for this book. (#1 is probably not true because there is NO WAY a person would have read every single book on that list - unless the author is on the list challenge, but this "Guest" has done it on all the reading lists. Very suspicious, but I digress once again.) When George saw me eyeing this book while at the library, he said, "There she goes again." I love a challenge. If you are new to my blog, from 2002-2013, I read 287 classics. So I thought my "lists" were done until this book. I am reading books I have never even heard of, and most of the time, I have really liked them! (Some have been duds but not many.)

But alas, I have had other things going on. Since I picked up this list, I have had reading for certifications in Spiritual Direction, the Enneagram, NASM Personal Training with Women's Fitness, Weight Loss, Corrective Exercise Specializations (NASM-CPT, CES, WFS, WLS), and Mental Health Coaching. I read nine books for the Order of the Mustard Seed too. I am also reading four Renovare Book Club books every year. So, I sprinkle these in between, and I will be very old if I finish this list! LOL!

All that to say is that I LOVE to learn. I am thirsty for learning. I cannot help myself. I love to learn and then apply. Rinse. Repeat. 

Lately, I have been reading books about the Camino de Santiago (The Way is Made by Walking) and the inward soul journey (Soul Journey). 

I also read at least 52 books a year. I'm at 41. The last from the 1000 Books List I read was Instead of a Letter. The ones I read for spiritual enrichment are so much more edifying, but when I read from the 1000 Books List. I learn compassion for people. I won't stop this new challenge, even though sometimes they are a bit edgy for me! I won't obsess over it. My "BHAG" (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) was the 287 books nine years ago. This is just icing and more LEARNING! 

I am loving my reading journey with more spiritual books this year. (Renovare Book Club has some wonderful ones this year, and I have the possibility of nine people in our group!)

I am also taking another certification course in EMDR because I am fascinated by it. 

I am also learning so much as I prepare PowerPoints for each of the Enneagram types and then teach them to my directees! I go deeper, and I understand people and myself so much better. That is another kind of "education"!

I am also learning about IT bands! But that will be my next installment of The Well Update! 

TTFN.