I am bleary-eyed and forced myself back to sleep three times last night. I fell asleep at 7:30 pm. Then I woke up again at 9 pm, 11 pm, 2 am, etc. Then I finally allowed myself to get up at 5 am. I made it to the 2nd Prayer Watch of the Order of the Mustard Seed at 5:30 am. I loved it, and I will probably go to the 8:30 am Pacific Coast one too. I will probably go to Silent Prayer also. I want to get back into a regular schedule, and this is the way to do that.
Overall, the trip was fantastic. There was one night when I lost it, our first night in Santiago, but John and Katherine, and George were so kind to me. I have never lost it in front of them, and the emotions of returning to Santiago after 40 years and the perceived expectations with a group of that size were a little overwhelming for me. John said that he was convinced that there was enemy involvement in even trying to get there. I have to agree. I am so grateful for Aisha and John and Katherine and George who really picked up on things and prayed into them. I am glad I did not walk the Camino alone. I am glad that the people who asked to go on the trip did come because John and Katherine were more of our pace and positivity. I loved how encouraging they were. It was so good. I am so grateful they decided to come along for the ride. It was not the trip I dreamed of when I invited Elizabeth and Stacy and Eunice. I am glad we walked our own Camino. I am glad I am not alone. I am never alone with you Lord. Never alone. I learned about the importance of community on this trip. I learned the importance of choosing your companions wisely. I learned that the last time I was here, I was totally, unequivocally ALONE. Ron was so sweet to say that he had no idea the abuse I suffered, and he wished he would have known. I did feel utterly ALONE, but this time I was not alone. "We walked in love with the wind on our wings/Covered the earth with the songs we'd sing/the miles flew by." Thank you, God, for the miles flying by in every way.
24-7 Gathering was overwhelming. I liked most of the talks. I was too exhausted to go to one of them, and that is when people tell you how much you "missed" by not going. Why do people do that? How do they know what I would have missed or not missed? I am different, and I have never been a BIG, MASSIVE group person. I like more intimate, smaller gatherings of people. The Castlewellan retreat was much better for me, but even then, George and I felt we wanted to get out and experience the beauty all around us and journal in silence and solitude.
My timer never went off. So, this was longer than a fifteen-minute freewrite. BYE!
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