Sunday Freewrite

I decided to not go to church today. I meant to, but I got lost in a project, and George was putting on his shoes, and I was still in my pajamas! George did have a meeting after church. So I would have had to wait for him for a couple of hours. So it is good I didn't go with him. 

Oh well.

It has been a lovely time alone. I hear the kids got up but only more recently. Someone is playing the Ware Patterson Duo CD from 1993. I love that my kids love classical music. We went to the Christmas Concert at OSU, and there was a flute solo that inspired them to play this CD. 

I have had a wonderful, deep-down peace for the last couple of hours. It is that peace presence. No anxiety about anything and close to God's presence. I would say it is more like the whole morning. 

I think it is the conclusion of a great weekend. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were the Discernment Retreat for the 2HC, and I think it went really, really well. I loved leading different small groups. This is my favorite of the three retreats. I have many of the discernment practices printed out (because most are from Elizabeth Liebert's excellent book, ) but I love seeing how to do this in community and not just individually. I would love to lead a discernment retreat in the future. It is really helpful, and it is about leading a lifestyle of discernment, really. Noticing God in the midst of everything. It really goes back to Beth's talks on seeing God in the ordinary of everyday life. 

So the peace was through most of the retreat. I did my 20 hours of silence on Thursday from 9 am to 5 am Friday instead of when most of the people do it. this was mainly because the Discernment Retreat Day of Silence always falls on the day of the OSU Christmas Concert, and it was just awkward not to interact with my family during the evening. So I switched it to Thursday since I am no longer teaching at OSU on that day (or any day). 

Speaking of not teaching at OSU, that was part of my silent retreat. Last year's retreat was the last day of my term. So I did take a break in the middle of it, but I had SO MUCH going on. I was 90 percent done with all these projects, and it was so nice for this retreat to not have things hanging over my head that I needed to complete. And I could just bask in gratitude for the GOOD DISCERNMENT I was able to exercise in saying good-bye to some things to create more margin in my life. I am less at the behest of other people and deadlines. I am so much FREER this year! YAY! This is because discernment is not about me and how great I am at making decisions, but it is about God speaking and letting him lead and guide me. 

Discernment leads to peace. 

Oh, one thing that came up when people were saying what they gleaned from the retreat was "I think we are trying too hard at this." Then when the leaders were debriefing, I told them about Trevor saying that we need to "pay attention to our resistance to joy."

Then one of the other leaders texted me a great "ditty" he wrote in reaction to that comment. I will ask him if it is OK to share it here. For now, I better go!