Wednesday Freewrite

I am listening to the artist Jeffrey Wahl. His music was on the Pray As You Go.org website. It is lovely. 

I woke up at 4:30 needing to go to the bathroom and in a lot of pain. Shooting pain in the place where my knee popped when I was injured. I have not had that much pain, but is was intense and shooting. George decided, then and there, that HE would take me to my doctor's appointment today. At one time, he was going to go back up to Hillsboro to work and Katherine was going to take me. He wants to be in on the whole thing, and I am thankful for that. I have not had any shooting pain in the six days since the injury. I was in bed for a bit longer and finally just decided to get up and sit as an alternative to laying there. 

Pray As You Go was on complaining to God. I really do not have a hard time doing that, but I have not felt the need to really complain about this latest trial. I look at the whole scheme of things and all the people in the world, and I think only of blessing. Others cannot afford good medical care when they are in pain. They cannot afford to get a brace and borrow crutches. Some do not have people bringing meals to them. I am blessed. How can I complain?? I would prefer not to be in this predicament. I would prefer to dance on my 60th birthday on Saturday. I would prefer to ride my bike to cardio weight training and have a good workout. I would prefer to teach in the fall, but all that was taken away in a quick jerk of a boat and a pop of the knee.

I will plead that it heal quickly and thoroughly. I will prefer before God a resolution of things more quickly than even a doctor could predict. I know that when I severed the tendon in my big toe ten years ago in November, that it sent me on a new trajectory of health and strength for my back, and that was a very good thing. So, I have to believe there is a purpose in all of this. If anything, it has shown me that people are kind to help me during this time by making meals and offering to go to the library for me. Two people said that specifically. That is funny that they know being able to pick up library books is very important to me. LOL! 

Anywho, it has just been six days, and I need to be ready for the long haul of this. I find it hard to complain. I do know that I CAN and God is approachable and all of that. I am not afraid to complain. I just want to find the joy in all of this trial. I memorized James 1:2-4 many years ago. I love the Philips version: "When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives, my brethren, don't resent them as intruders, but welcome them as FRIENDS, realize they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance, but let the process go on until that endurance has been FULLY developed, and you will find that you have become a (wo)man of mature character with the right sort of independence."  So, I am letting the process go on. I am grateful that I have books to read, music to listen to (and perhaps dance to with my crutches), movies to watch, family to put ice on my injury, people to bring me meals, and a God who loves me. 

There is the alarm. Thankful.