Sunday Morning Seventeen Freewrite

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Well, it has been a while since I had a long and luxurious freewrite. So I am giving myself Seventeen on a Sunday morning on the 4th of July. We have a big lake party we are going to that starts at 11 am, but I think we are going to hold off a bit and go a little later as I am really tired from the last week of activity. 

On our week in Yellowstone, I got an email from someone who I had never met to be part of a wonderful journey with 17 people who wanted to grow in their love for Jesus. They wanted me to help lead one of the small groups. The people who had signed up were really great people. I only knew two of them a bit and had been in one small group with in early June. I only knew one of the leaders, and that is only through texting back and forth because of our mutual interest in Ignatian spirituality. He was the one who recommended me for this, and my spiritual director, concurred with him that I would be a good choice. 

I feel humbled and honored, and I just early mornings Thursday - Saturday (with a 21 hour silent retreat from 9 am Friday to 6 am Saturday). I am always up for things like this, but after they are over, I CRASH. I really am an introvert, but people usually don't know it when I am with them because when I am tuned in to people and their stories, I am really tuned in to them. We spent a lot of the time in the small groups unpacking their spiritual autobiographies, and that is one of my favorite things to do one-on-one in spiritual direction. It has been a while since I have led a small group (other than a DBS a couple of months ago, my Renovare Group in October, December, and March, and the 18th annotation of the Spiritual Exercises small group last summer). There had been many months since the last small group I led (March), and since then, it has been all one-on-one spiritual direction. I think I am really more a one-on-one person, but I really do have a lot of years under my belt of leading groups. They are always challenging for me until I get to know the people. I feel like I connected with most of the people in my group, and it sounds like all the women in the group know each other pretty well, especially three of them.

All that to say, I felt a little bit undone after the second day, but God met me so powerfully with his presence through the silent retreat. I love it. I got positive feedback on the first and third days of the retreat. I love my hermitage cave, but God has told me to jump off the edge and fly. I think I will add the little picture that I drew for the "Where are you at now?" exercise that we did in the group. I did not share my picture because we aren't doing that as facilitators. But it might help them see us as real people. :) Oh, wait, I DID lead a small spiritual direction group for 7 sessions in April and May! DUH! I totally forgot about that. Somehow that seemed so easy for me because it was only three of us, and I was sharing along with everyone else. We also had a LOT of time to share, and we were all very good about sticking to our time frame. The time frame of this new group is a little smaller and not as much wiggle room and buffer if someone goes over, but I think it worked out for the long-winded versus the short-winded people. 

All that to say, I feel good about what they are imparting. It is for people in the second half of life. I think most of the people are 40 or above, and I might be the second to the oldest person of the leaders even. So funny. I feel so young!

So I am tired. But God you are saying to come to the edge. (I will find the quote after this freewrite.) 

"Come to the edge,"

He said.

They said,

"We are afraid,"

"Come to the edge,"

He said.

They came, 

He pushed them, and

they flew.

        Christopher Logue (British Poet and Pacifist)  

I also have ridden my bike two times in the last three days. OH SO WONDERFUL. 

Now we are done.