Wednesday, February 14, 2007

On death and dying

Well, our friend was rushed up to Portland for brain surgery. It was moved up by 10 days because of new symptoms.

I am reading on the internet and all of the things say: Prognosis poor, most people die within two years.

It is weird to see him last Friday. On the outside, he looks strong and healthy. I am so sad. I am so very, very sad. I am sad for the kids that I have known since they all came out of the womb. I am sad for his wife who has been a friend for many years. It is weird that it is bringing up lots of memories of our friendship that have been painful too. It is funny how these sorts of things bring up so much in your heart and mind.

I want to help, but I don't know how to do that. I know that others are going up to see them in Portland, but I really don't want to be in the way. I know she has said that I wouldn't be in the way, but because of our history, I would feel in the way. I wonder how to get over that.

It was so nice because her mother said that the kids love us and don't stop talking about us when they are at home. I know that my role is to help with the kids more than anything right now. I love these kids like my own. I really and truly do.

That is my reflection at 11 p.m. on Valentine's Day. Sounds so morbid. I am so sad.

4 comments:

Katrina said...

Carol, that's so very sad! And it would be so hard to watch people you love & care about go through it. I'm glad the kids have you and your family for additional love and care.

MaryD said...

Hi Carol, it's heartbreaking to watch someone you love go through this-- the man himself, as well as his wife and children. If you want to go to Portland, please go. The kids will appreciate you coming to them, and you may be thankful that you were there to see them and bless them "on site." Nothing will make this easier but the knowledge that they are loved will strengthen them in it. May God continue to give you His strength and wisdom, and pour His love and comfort through you to these dear friends.

Carol Ann Weaver said...

The kids are down here and not up in Portland. So, I am wanting to be close to home for them. So, I will go up to Portland eventually. My friend has ALL of her siblings there (four), and B's mother and sister. Two more friends are going up tomorrow and one is already there. So, it is a zoo and full house. I will go maybe on Saturday when things have slowed down a bit.

Ampersand said...

Carol, this is none of my business but I do hope you make the trip at some point.

I know you are helping with their kids, but I think it will mean something to your friends for you to make the trip. Don't let the worry about being in the way stop you from being there - for yourself and for your friends.

This is the disease that my Mom died from and it moves very quickly. I'm sorry that your dear friend has it.

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