38. It's Not OK: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After

I am embarrassed to say that I even read this book! It certainly was not one I would ever buy or even put on hold for that matter.

I was at the library last Sunday, and I already had a pile of books on Iran (going there this summer), Farsi language CDs, a book on the Appalachian trail, numerous Iranian films, and a book about introverts in church. This book was on display at the end of one of the library shelves, and I threw it in the pile.

Since I have worked with women who have come out of abusive relationships, I wanted to get inside this woman's head.

This franchise has always intrigued me. So, I thought an inside perspective would help me understand why anyone would want to do a show like that.

I came away thinking: she is a very shallow, immature person. If she wanted to make her ex-fiancé look bad, she did that; but she made herself look even worse. I feel so sorry for her. She is not very self-reflective and takes no personal responsibility for anything. I feel like she is a little girl lost with very little integrity as a person. (Who splits the seam while trying on pants in a department store and does not tell the store and offer to pay? Who has "revenge" sex months after breaking up with her ex-fiancé and is proud of it? YUK!) The reviews I have read were pretty aghast at her behavior also.

She was afraid of losing her dignity by doing these shows, and I think she has. But hey, she is making  more money now doing pretty frivolous things than she did being a lawyer who put away gang members in Atlanta. It is so sad she has sold out to all of this.

Getting inside this woman's head made me realize she needs a good therapist and a reality check.

Her ex-fiancé does end up looking very bad. There is no question in my mind that, if her allegations are true, he is a typical narcissistic personality type and verbally abusive and quite shallow (I have seen him on TV, and I could have told you that within two seconds). But she is pretty shallow herself. It is pretty disgusting how she describes men in such a sexual way.

One more thing: her gratuitous use of the "F" word is very off-putting.

Not impressed.

I think it is funny that I would read this book after reading Saint Athanasius and The Great Omission by Dallas Willard and concurrent with listening to a Dallas Willard book called Renovation of the Heart. In many ways it was a modern day example of a non-renovated heart!

I do hope she finds God someday. That is when the true fun begins!

My foray into popular culture has now ended, and I will go back to my regularly scheduled book reading.

Reviews:

"Did she really just write that? OMG, she totally just wrote that....Downright shocking." (USA Today)

"[Dorfman's] delivering plenty of surprising (and some disturbing) details." (Cosmopolitan)

37. The Great Omission by Dallas Willard

This book is part of the Renovaré Institute curriculum. So I thought I would read/listen to it before the school started. This is a compilation of articles and talks that Dallas Willard gave over many years about Jesus' final commandment to "make disciples of all the nations." I liked it!

36. Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power by Burchard

I must have clicked on this guy from an ad on Facebook, and it linked to this six minute video:

In this video, he talks about six things behind motivation (that are fleshed out in p. 57-66 of the book):

SPARKING MOTIVATION
1. Ambition - the choice to be, have, do, or experience something greater in our lives. By deeply contemplating higher aims, we energize ourselves to pursue them.

2. Expectancy - a choice to believe that our dreams are possible and that we can achieve them. Desire without belief in self is ultimately deflating.

SUSTAINING MOTIVATION
3. Focus (Attention) - Giving our ambitions consistent mental attention keeps the drive alive, our energies swirling win anticipation. Don't let the distractions of the day steal mental focus. Real downfall: distraction. We mustn't let our dreams die in the daylight because we lose focus while responding to the world's lame interests or false emergencies. We mustn't take our eyes off of our goal.

4. Effort - Choice to continue on no matter what. (My note: The science of motivation say that if you START a project you are more likely to finish it since you started it already, and it nags at you.)

AMPLIFYING MOTIVATION
5. Attitude - Free and motivated people are positive and enthusiastic about their goals and their lives. Motivation never kindles anyone's soul to it brightest burn unless he or she is open-minded and fired with an enthusiasm for life. An open and positive disposition toward the world can attract people, bring joy into our experience, and channel the highest energies of the universe.

6. Environment - "Hang with people who grow or give" (from the video). Surround ourselves by people who are sane and positive. Few things amplify our long-term motivation more than a positive social environment. Distance ourselves from those with bad attitudes, for their energy is contagious and corrupting.  Also be disciplined in shaping our physical environment. Our workspaces should inspire us.

So, the video peaked my interest to order the free book. I am about halfway through his free video series, and I like it.

Before I had even read the book (it took me a few months to get around to reading it), the notes from the video were in my workspace, and the quote, "Hang with people who give and grow" really helped clarify why I was so down after being with some people from my past back in May. They are not people who give and grow, and they have never been that way with me. They have mostly taken, and, for the most part, they have not grown in the many years I have known them. I moved on many years ago, and I am SO GLAD! :)

Here is the free book: https://goo.gl/voI20L (I don't get anything for giving you this link)

Declarations 1-3 were really significant for me, and I underlined a lot. I got a bit bored with Declaration 4-8. They are good declarations, but they were more obvious to me being a follower of Jesus. The book ended strongly for me with Declaration 9 as I am taking everything in for "two beats longer," and it has been great! 

Here are those Declarations:

1. MEET LIFE WITH FULL PRESENCE AND POWER
2. RECLAIM YOUR AGENDA
3. DEFEAT YOUR DEMONS
4. ADVANCE WITH ABANDON
5. PRACTIVE JOY AND GRATITUDE
6. DO NOT BREAK INTEGRITY
7. AMPLIFY LOVE
8. INSPIRE GREATNESS
9. SLOW TIME

The most significant one for me was "Reclaim your Agenda" as I had a group sort of steal my agenda from me. I had not read this part of the book yet, but the week prior, I dropped out of leadership after only two weeks when I realized that my agenda was being hijacked by the group, and I feel like my agenda is the one God gave me. So this book really confirmed it for me. I am a recovering people-pleaser, and I have to be really careful to not let people control me. I have learned the "power of no."

I am not in charge or responsible for the wrecks others have created in their lives

and I do not need to save everyone in my life."

That is the conclusion that I came to with this group when I realized all the conflict that would take forever to unravel.

I have often allowed other people to cage my spirit and stifle my potential. A term the author calls "social oppression" (p. 14). I also liked the things he said about fear.

 I liked many things he said, and I would recommend this book, especially for those who struggle in these areas!

35. Living Your Strengths by Winseman, Clifton, and Liesveld

This is the Clifton StrengthsFinder for churches. It was helpful, but I hear the regular Clifton StrengthsFinder book gives you test results that are more detailed.

I had purchased this in 2012 because a woman who is an expert on this was coming to the Shalom Prayer Center to teach a four week class. I was so excited and willing to drive up to Mt. Angel four Tuesday nights in a row to learn (since Learner is my #1 Signature Theme). Alas, I was the only one who signed up for the class so it was canceled. This book was required for the class, and my library did not have it. I had already shelled out the money and bought it at the higher price in the Shalom Prayer Center Bookstore. Drat. Hardcover, new, and not at a discount. Then the class was canceled! A year later, my ministry team purchased the StrengthsFinder 2.0 book for everyone on the team. So, my husband was given the book. I wish I had retaken the test and used the more detailed test, but I didn't want to be greedy and have them buy me my own books since I had already taken the test, and my husband was already getting one for free.

This was good. I liked the descriptions. The chapter "Using Your Talents for Growth and Service" had some pretty silly ideas for developing the strengths in the church, but the book overall was useful. I especially liked that many of my strengths complement my husband's. That doesn't surprise me, but it was nice to have it "officially" confirmed.

My Signature Themes are (drumroll please):




Learner - You have a great desire to learn, and you want to continually improve. In particular, the process of learning rather than outcome excites you.

Empathy - You sense the feelings of other people by imagining yourself in others' lives or others' situations.

Achiever - You have a great deal of stamina and work hard. You take great satisfaction from being busy and productive (me: not from being busy but definitely productive).

Connectedness - You have faith in the links between all things. You believer there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Relator - You enjoy close relationships with others. You find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.

 I guess if I had bought the other book, it would have shown me more themes, but I can tell from reading the book that other strengths behind that top 5 are:


Focus - You can take a direction, follow through, and make the corrections necessary to stay on track. You prioritize, then act.

Context - You enjoy thinking about the past. You understand the present by researching its history.

Self-Assurance - You feel confident in your ability to manage your own life.  You possess an inner compass that gives you confidence that your decisions are right.

Developer - You recognize and cultivate the potential in others. You spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

"If you want to build a ship,

don't drum up people together to collect wood

and don't assign them tasks and work,

but rather teach them to long

for the endless immensity of the sea."

ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY

34. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by Thurber

It is short and sweet and gets inside the head of someone who escapes in his thoughts. I am not one to do that, but I hear other people are, and it fascinates me! Interesting story.

33. Know Why You Believe by Paul E. Little

I downloaded this in April as a Free Book of the Month from Christianaudio.com. (Great company, by the way, and they have their big half-yearly sale going on right now with 7.49 for most books. I am not paid to say that either!) I am waiting for some audiobook holds from the library, and it is a short book. I think I read this in college. I am not a big apologetics person, but I love how this book is chock-full of Scripture. Lloyd James is a very pleasant narrator too. This will give you the basics of Christianity. The nurse during my acupuncture appointment said she has the whole set of his books, but she has never read them. I think I inspired her!

32. The Making of a Leader by J. Robert Clinton

This is my third time reading through this book as I discuss it with a woman I have been meeting with for several years. I really love it, and reading through it this time, I realize how much of the principles in the book are so deeply ingrained in me that I forgot that I learned them from this book. I think I read it back in the 90s. It is probably my favorite book on leadership development. I use his "time lines" when I take people through the SHAPE process (Spiritual Gifts, Heart Passions, Abilities, Personality, and Experiences), as it is very helpful for people to see patterns and life stages of their own development. I highly recommend this book.

31. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

I had never read anything by an African author so this was very educational. I found it was very slow in parts, but I think that was because of the narrator more than anything else. So, I put it up to 1.25 speed, and it went much better for me! 

I thought it was much more interesting once I got to the part about the missionaries coming and being super culturally insensitive to the people and their customs and way of life. When Western imperialism was added, it became a very interesting conclusion to the story because things fell apart! 

This is usually on lists of classic books to read. So I am glad that I read it for with my Book Dames group. I will add more once we discuss it in mid-July. 

30. The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi

Words cannot expressed how much I loved this book. The writing is very engaging, and it is hard to believe that this book is the first novel by this author.

This story is about a woman in the modern day, and her great-great grandmother in the early 1900's. It is about women, and the things they go through in this patriarchal culture.

I have dear friends from Afghanistan. I hope they can read, and we can discuss it!

I am so surprised that librarything.com predicted with "high confidence" that I probably would not like this book. This could not be farther than the truth.

Here is a really interesting radio interview with the author:

http://nadiahashimi.com/news-media/

29. A Man Called Ove by Frerik Backman

This is an absolutely dear book. I loved it. It makes you laugh out loud and cry. I love his evolution. You learn why he is the way he is, and you learn about love.  Beautiful story in every way. I highly recommend it. The narrator on this version is also excellent.

This is the rare occasion where I saw the movie before I read the book. I noticed it was on Amazon Prime, and we had a free evening. The movie was nominated for an Academy Award and is a faithful rendering of the book. You will enjoy that also. :)

Here is the trailer:

28. Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

This is an eye-opening and informative book, important for Americans to read. We need to rethink incarceration in this country. He brought out some key points about the disproportionate number of black people in prison, being put there without proper legal representation. This book was hard to get through because some of the stories made me, literally, sick to my stomach!  

Bryan Stevenson is a hero and a person of faith who exemplifies that faith without works is dead (James 2:26). I found this article about him informative on this point:

http://www.evangelicalsforsocialaction.org/compassion-and-justice/connecting-with-the-struggle/

The only criticism about this book would be that he sometimes ventures too far into the legal minutiae of many court cases, but it is a great book, and I stayed up late to finish it. It makes me want to do something about this terrible problem we have in this country. But what? How?

27. In the Kingdom of Ice: The Grand and Terrible Polar Voyage of the USS Jeannette

I was a bit confused listening to this audiobook at first, but once the actual story commenced it was much more interesting. What a doomed mission! It hurt my heart to see them go off into the Polar unknown based on misinformation. It is hard to believe there was a time when you could not communicate with the developed world when you would go off on an expedition.

The last hour of the book was excruciating painful to listen to.

From now on are spoilers. So quit reading if you don't want to
find out what happened.

Many of the men survived as they were separated into three separate parties. One of the parties, including the captain, did not survive.  It was so sad, but it was very interesting.

Thursday Thirteen Freewrite

Life has been so full that I have not even had time to do a freewrite. I looked at my calendar today, and after a totally packed Wednesday, I had all day free. Hopefully, I will not fritter it away. But I have been up since about 4:30, and I have not done the best job at focusing. So, I am focusing by writing out my thoughts.

Nothing particular is on my mind. I had a hard beginning of last week, but I chose to "rejoice and be glad" as Psalm 96 directs. It was a choice. I took pictures of beautiful things and looked for Your goodness everywhere. Then I got to work and Dee said, "I am not using my classroom today if you want to use it." And I DID! I "had a ball" in my Pilates I class instead of having to drag all the balls across the gym.  Many other things happened that day that showed me that I didn't need to be down in the dumps.

You see, I discern things in other people. And while I am very grateful for being given lots of empathy for my fellow person, it can be a real bummer when you pick up on things with other people from your past, and you cannot seem to shake the sadness of it all.

That is what happened to me last week. I got a word from God to "Hang with people who GIVE and GROW," and that is why that group of people have never been people I could necessarily hang with, especially as a group. It is almost like the "group mentality" causes there to be such blindness to God. The group becomes more important than Him. He also gave a vision of the white limousine taking me in the opposite direction of my friends who chose to get in a clunky high school car and go the other way. This is from a memory I had of my friends leaving me high and dry after a high school football game and not telling me where they were going - finding out later they went to smoke pot and knew I would not get into doing that - but the loneliness that I felt being all alone behind the bleachers left a painful memory that God needed to heal though picking me up in His white stretch limo.  I have had many moments where I wanted to desperately to fit in, but I knew that it would not do to opt for anything but Jesus. Sometimes that can be lonely, even in circles where everyone is a follower of Jesus. God is just on the buffet, and they want a "little dibble of Him." It is the C.S. Lewis sermon where he said that they "settle for mud pies in the city when God is offering a vacation by the sea."

I want to go in the direction God has for me, and the next week was FILLED with such beautiful, beautiful confirmations of the full, rich life He has given me, but I hurt for them. The discernment meter was off the charts. Consequently the empathy meter led me to sadness. My dear friend said, "You are someone they admire and speak well of always, but I guess that they are drawn in with need. They perceive that you don't 'NEED' them. You are not someone they can offer or fix."  That made sense to me, but I don't like the loneliness. Then she said, "I am so thankful for you and your life and secretly I am thankful that God has set you apart from the world. Sanctified for a purpose."

I suppose I just want people to get in the limo with me so we can all go to the vacation by the sea! There is plenty of room. I want to share the extra room, but the option is always getting in the clunky car of compromise, and I just don't want to go where that car is going.

All that to say is the days built upon each other, and I am called to a different kind of life. What a fun, fun, fun rest of the week, and it didn't stop. God has given me such incredible friends, but it meant saying good-bye to old ones. Now, I only see them when we gather for big functions (and sometimes I am excluded from those as though I am invisible and forgotten). God is good. I am blessed.

And I went over my 13 minute limit and wrote for 20 minutes! BYE! Sending without proofreading.

26. On the Incarnation by Athanasius

This book was part of my Renovaré Book Club ("a guided journey through four soul-shaping books")  reading. It is the last book of four we have been reading from October to June.

Who knew how much I would enjoy this book! Oh my! A man named Christopher Hall (click on the link to read his bio) has guided us through it with an introductory podcast and study guides for each week of reading. They are excellent and have really helped me appreciate this book.

My mind is being expanded in new ways. Since LEARNER is my #1 Clifton StrengthsFinder, this is making my heart soar. It might not be everyone's cup of tea though. Even if it isn't your cup of tea, it is very short so shouldn't be too painful and would expand your world!

25. Two Paths: America Divided or United by John Kasich

This was the man that I wanted to be president. It was good to read about his background, and his vision for America. He ran a very clean campaign and did not get swallowed up in the negativity. He is the real deal.

One big thing I learned was how to pronounce his last name. I rhymes with "basic"!

23. The Pearl by John Steinbeck

I think things are better the second time around, and they are also better when discussed with friends. I have been part of the Book Dames since 2005. It was started when five of us from a contemporary book club that started in 2001 decided to discuss the classics. I am the only original member left. So many of the books are ones I already read, including this one, but discussing it was so meaningful and rich. This group is deep and loves to visit long and lingeringly on a Saturday morning whereas the other "Book Babes" reads much easier books and is in and out of there in very little time. I think I like the long and lingering type better.

This is a cautionary tale pregnant with symbolism. It is very well written and Hector Elizondo's narration is perfect pitch.

24. Poldark's Cornwall by Winston Graham

If you are a fan of the Poldark Series on Masterpiece Theatre and/or the books by Winston Graham, you will love this book of gorgeous photographs of the Cornish Coast with text  by Graham originally published in 1983 and updated in 2016. It is a visual treat, and you will learn more about how Graham came to write these wonderful novels. 

22. The Benedict Option by Rod Dreher

This book had some good points about our post-Christian era. I was so excited to read this after I saw him interviewed on the news and when I realized he is the same person who wrote Crunchy Cons.

He makes some salient points about the degree to which Christians can realistically change the political trajectory of today. (In his mind, that ship has already sailed.) He advocates pulling in and strengthening the church, giving your kids a classical education (something we did with our kids and do not regret, but it is NOT for everyone), and protecting your kids from this oversexualized society. These are all things I agree with, but he got a bit preachy. It also dragged through some of the "preachy" chapters.

21. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid

Wow! This is my favorite book of the year so far. It is so imaginative (the author was inspired by The Chronicles of Narnia). It gives you a different perspective on refugees from all over the world. I loved it. (It does have some language and sexuality that some readers might not like.) Hamid's writing is absolutely beautiful.

Here is the PBS Newshour interview that inspired me to read the book:

20. Lilac Girls

I learned a lot through this book, but I have to admit it was really, really slow in the beginning. I felt like I was reading a harlequin romance, and I almost abandoned it on page 92. But, I did something I have never done before: I read the last chapter, and the author's notes, and it made me curious!

It is interesting because in the author's notes, I read that one of the storylines is not based on anything that happened, and you can tell! It was sort of a stupid storyline, and that is what I almost abandoned on page 92.

It was a SLOG until about page 132. Then, it started moving forward. I learned about something I had never read about: The Rabbits of Ravensbruck.

They were Polish women who had gruesome experiments done on them while they were in Ravensbruck Concentration Camp during World War II.

In the end, I was glad I finished it. I learned quite a bit.

19. Myth Making and Religious Extremism and Their Roots in Crisis

 The information was fascinating in parts, but it droned on with more and more information without much analysis in other parts. I was hoping the author would give analysis about how all of this affect terrorism, but it never seemed to get to this. I kept on saying to the author, "And your point is . . .?" I learned some new facts though, and for that I am grateful. It had no profound conclusions.

It had quite a few typos in the "Terrorism" chapter but not others, and the authors must be atheists because they tend to lump all Christians into one big pot. This will alienate many people who believe that creation is not a myth.

18. Jonathan Swift: The Reluctant Rebel by John Stubbs

I received this audiobook for free from the publisher in exchanged for a unbiased review.

When I first saw that it was 31 hours and 25 CD's (equivalent to 752 pages in the print version), I was a bit overwhelmed, but once I started listening to the excellent narration by Derek Perkins, I knew I was in good hands. WOW! I have listened to many audiobooks by British narrators, and sometimes, especially on academic subjects, they can come across with a "haughty" tone. This is NOT so with Derek Perkins. His narration is all British sophistication without the stuffiness. Excellent choice for a narrator.

The same holds true for the author, John Stubbs. This is a very scholarly biography, but it is not stuffy. It is quite readable (or easy to listen to in my case). I learned many details about British history and found it fascinating, especially since I just went to England last summer, and spent time at Blenheim Palace and many of the spots in London described in the book.

I am sort of a "Brit Lit Nerd" so I really enjoyed this book. I am not sure how much the general population will like it.

I read Gulliver's Travels in 2003, and this biography made me want to read it again now that I have a better handle on the historical background to his satire. I also want to read some of his other works like "A Tale of a Tub" and "A Modest Proposal." So the biography had a very positive effect on me.

I feel so sorry for Swift. His early experiences of abandonment  were heartbreaking. He was brilliant, but I am not sure he was a very happy person.

My only regret with listening to an audiobook is that I did not have access to the pictures that were in a print edition of the book. That would have been very helpful to see the pictures that he sometimes describes.

I agree wholeheartedly with this review of the book in the New York Times:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/20/books/review/jonathan-swift-biography-john-stubbs.html?_r=0

(For West Wing fans, he describes Swift as "an 18th Century Toby Ziegler" - sarcasm and brilliance!)

17. Spiritual Multiplication in the Real World by McNabb

I just read this in October to see if I would use it in my Kingdom Community Curriculum, and I am so glad I included it. They LOVED it and all bought it for themselves. SO it was a good call to have them read it. I reread it when they read it because I had read it on my Kindle and wanted an underlined book because it is so hard to lead a book discussion with a Kindle!

Here is my prior review:

http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2016/10/38-spiritual-multiplication-in-real.html

Liturgy Audit

I have this from my Renovare Book Club and from the book Liturgy of the Ordinary

What activities and practices are you regularly immersed in each week? How much time is spent doing different sorts of activities? (Name 3-4 things you do in a week and time spent doing them).   • If you have children, how do they spend their time?  (Name 3-4 things they do in a week and time spent doing them).

M/W Teach two Pilates classes at OSU

T Teach Kingdom Community Training

M-S Daily Time in Bible Reading and prayer

M-S Daily reading to enrich my mind

What do you do with the first 2 hours of your day? 

Time with God - reflection on Scripture and praying responsively

How does that shape the rest of your day?How does this routine shape you? 

It sets my feet to be intentional about living to glorify Him as I live and move and have my being.

What do you do with the last 2 hours of your day?

Watch the news or a program on TV. I watch Survivor and Amazing Race. Not really into any dramas. Sometimes I will watch a DVD movie or series that has a good plot and no smut.

I also read books before I turn off the light.

During Lent, I read more of my Bible and Jesus books, and that was very fun!

How does this routine shape you? 

I don't get depressed by the news. It helps me understand people better and helps me pray more. I am in a prayer group, and it helps when we pray for different parts of the world to be informed about it. One woman knows nothing, and I feel like I help her pray more effectively by my information.

Survivor and Amazing Race help me to observe people dynamics and effective (and ineffective) communication strategies. No joke. I am such a people person that this is my overflow of my time with God so I can continue to grow without constantly being with people.

Sometimes I have evening commitments with people, but it is not my best time of  day. I used to have them a lot more, but now I get to bed fairly early, and I have better health as a result.

How might you “surrender” to God at the end of a day? How do you resist “surrender” at the end of the day? 

I don't think I do resist that I can think of. I maintain surrender through the day.

 

Think through yesterday. How did you use each hour? (Try to write this down in detail). 

5-7 - Up and make chai tea. Time with God. Read in Acts. Contemplation and prayer. Listen and Obey time in the shower writing how He speaks to me on the wall.

7:00-7:30 Review Field and Prayer work for Kingdom Community - send out email reminding them. Finalizing that last five weeks.

7:30-7:50 Dress straighten room

7:50-8:30 Get house straightened up for Valentina and Pieter to come and clean. Dry hair.

8:30-9:00 Do OSU Pilates class attendance on line as Valentina talks to me and cleans.

9-9:15 Drive to library and park

9:15-9:30 Walk and pray as I approach OSU Campus. Pray for Avery where Sandy is going to lead her Mom and Baby Class on Thursday.

9:30-9:40 Visit with PAC Office staff and pick up mat

9:40-10 Set up Pilates room, get equipment for day

10-12 Teach two Pilates classes and interact with lots of students

12-12:15 Walk back to library and pray

12:15-1:10 Deliver books and flowers to shut ins for Corvallis Library Dial a Book. Deposit check.

1:10-1:20 Drive home and pick up a Salmon Hazelnut Salad from Burgerville (YUMMMMMY!)

1:20 Home and Michael was already gone to work! HOUSE CLEAN!!!

1:20-2:00 Relax and Eat

2-5:30 Book Review for Crucial Conversations (book we are finishing for Kingdom Community), prayer for friends, catch up on Lose It food and exercise recording, doing a Freewrite.

5:30-8:00 News of the World (I had not watched it in a while)

8-10 Survivor (was only expecting it to be one hour, but it was a delightful two)

10-10:30 Trying to watch more news but fell asleep some time during that.

What do you think are the most important rituals in your life?  In your day?

Chai tea and Christ together each morning. Prayer walks. Bible Book Club. Staying in the word daily.

In my life are both above and also my regular prayer retreats for days and overnighters.

Walking and talking and praying with George and also watching BBC dramas together.

Regular Freewrites.

What activity do you feel incomplete without? (However mundane…could be getting coffee or going on a walk). 

Chai and Christ the most important to me.

 How does this activity shape your daily routine?How does it shape you?  

I think I answered this one early on in the questionings.

Are there habits you go to when you feel sad, angry, or hurt? 

I think when I am all the above, it helps me to get outside in nature and move my body and think and pray.

How do those habits shape you?

Helps me see the bigger picture.

 How do they shape your view of God? 

When I see nature I see how I am in the whole scheme of things.

Think about the most potent practices in our culture. What cultural practices do you want to embrace? Which do you hope to avoid?

I would love to have an example from this. Maybe I will submit my question to you for your podcast! 

I want to avoid smut on TV and tons of negativity.

I want to embrace the fun-loving spirit of many Americans and the way they express themselves through art and literature.

 If you have children, grandchildren, godchildren, nieces, or nephews, what are the cultural forces that you don’t want children in your life to be shaped by? 

Same as above.

What are the liturgies that you do want to shape their habits or desires? (Notice how this helps you glimpse what you value and find alarming about your own cultural practices).

 Good questions. I am going to think about that. I would love for them to have regular time listening to God. Enjoying his presence. Pursuing their passions. Tuning their temples.

Are there rituals in your day that encourage your anxiety, impatience, or distraction? 

I don't think so. I live a pretty peaceful life. I gues the one thing I would say is that if I get too busy. I get anxious. I know whey I have pushed myself too hard, but I rarely do that anymore. It has been nice to live a life of balance.

How do you see hints of Christian worship in your day? 

Isn't every minute worship? The sun is coming out right now, and I see God in nature. I marvel at His wonderful works. I give thanks for everything that I enjoy INCLUDING the inconveniences that all seem to be "first world problems."

What rituals help you embrace God’s work in your day?  

Morning time with Him and walks.

What moments of the day or tasks do you find most draining and/or disheartening? (Name 1-2)  

Taxes (I only have to do those once and year and finally decided to let them go to an accountant this year when they got overly complicated.)

Ironing - I have learned to play worship music or put on a audiobook or even a nice Jane Austen movie. Substitute the drain with a pleasure.

What moments of the day or tasks do you find most exhilarating and/or encouraging? (Name 1-2)

Leading the Kingdom Discipleship Training Team

Studying the Bible with not yet believers

Time with God

Teaching Pilates and seeing people grow in strength

Riding my bike

Taking walks.

(I cannot stop at 1-2!)

What Matters

"What matters is to listen attentively to the Spirit

and to go obediently where we are being led,

whether to a joyful or a painful place."

Henri Nouwen in Making All Things New

Freewrite

I have attempted to do this so many times by doing a "Prayerful Review of my Day," but it has not happened. So, I am just going to write freely in a freewrite for the next fifteen. It seems like it has been a while since I did that.

The last couple of weeks have been really lovely. Something is changing in me that is really encouraging. For instance, we had taken our taxes to an accountant, and we had signed everything on the dotted line last Friday and thought they were going to the IRS. Tuesday afternoon (tax day) brought in a flurry of texts and emails. Long story short, there was a mistake on our tax form, and we would not be getting the big refund that we thought, and we had to pay more for our Oregon tax. I had looked forward to getting a break on Tuesday afternoon. We had all day Sunday with guests for Easter, all day Monday with teaching at the University and then visiting for about five hours with different internationals, and then getting ready to lead my Kingdom Community on Tuesday morning (getting up early on Tuesday to do it since I had quite a bit of reading to do). So, I was taking a walk and then was going to just rest! (I was sick in bed Thursday - Saturday with a nasty cold.)

Instead of resenting, complaining, sighing, etc. I just got in my car, drove down to the accountants office, and wrote a check and walked out and was laying down within 30 minutes. No hemming or hawing. I was just resigned and peaceful.

I have been that way since then. I made a choice. I just decided not to exert any energy on it. I even had a great time driving down there in the car and back.

Then, I rest and woke up this morning to have great time with God (reading Acts now), preparing for Kingdom Community for next Tuesday (only five more weeks), and leading two high powered Pilates classes, walked and did Dial a Book, and now I have just been home and so peaceful.

I asked Elizabeth for prayer on Monday night. Someone (who is obviously in pain and probably ashamed) doesn't want to talk to me. I know I didn't do anything wrong, and they are feeling unsafe. (I think something really terrible happened, but I don't know what happened.) Anyway, I realized the pain of that was bothering me. So, I asked Elizabeth to pray for me (I don't usually do that except with George). Since then, I have a real peace. God keeps on telling me that He is keeping me from drama. That it is a matter too difficult for me and I can compose and quiet my soul (Psalm 131:2). So, I chose peace and not drama.

So, I sit here just aware that I don't need to be fearful or afraid or frustrated or even nervous. I can just be at peace.

That is lovely.

So, here I sit composed and quieted. I am good.

I do think it has helped that Michael is working the swing shift, and I can have solitude in the afternoon. He is not loud or obnoxious though. It is just nice to have the run of the house for all these hours. I love it. I love just resting into that.

I have to say that I am really going to miss this Kingdom community. They are so positive and encouraging and caring and love to pray. They are also so teachable. They have been introduced to so many new things, and they have just eaten everything up and APPLIED everything. They feel convicted, and they respond so humbly. I really like this group. I will miss praying and studying and doing outreach with them. Such a good year. I am really glad I listened and obeyed.

Well, I think that has been a long freewrite. But I am going to press the button and just not worry about proofreading anything. (I always say that, but I might do it, and that is ok because it is my freewrite.)

16. Crucial Conversations by Patterson

This is my third time reading through this book, and it is always so challenging. I sometimes forget to apply these principles, but when I do, it is amazing how much easier crucial conversations become!

Here is my previous review:

http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2014/01/5-crucial-conversationstools-for.html

15. The Story of Jesus by Reader's Digest Association, Inc

This is third in the books that I have been reading since Christmas. I love this book! It is in full color (and I purchased it at a used book store for only $10).  It starts at the beginning of the Gospel account and adds literature, poetry, and art from all over the world. It is a lovely book. It ends in the book of Acts where the Apostles spread Jesus to the world.

14. Jesus: A Gospel by Henri Nouwen

 I have had this book sitting on my coffee table for quite a while, and I thought I would read it along with the Harmony of the Gospels. I have recently been on a Henri Nouwen extravaganza so it fit to read a compilation of his quotes related to Jesus' life! On top of all that, there are illustration by Rembrandt! YUMMY!

I love Nouwen's insights. Here is one of my favorites:

As you see more clearly that your vocation is to be a witness to God's love in this world, as you become more determined to live out that vocation, the attacks of the enemy will increase. You will hear voices saying, "You are worthless, you have nothing to offer, you are unattractive, undesirable, unlovable." Do not be afraid. The more you are called to speak for God's love, the more you will need to deepen the knowledge of that love in your own heart. The farther the outward journey takes you, the deeper the inner journey must be.

AMEN! 

13. The Harmony of the Gospels by Thomas and Gundry

Here is a previous review:

http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2012/11/52-in-52-week-46-harmony-of-gospels-new.html

He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

It is Easter Sunday 2017, and this year, I read through the life of Jesus in "harmony" from December 21st until today.  This is such nice way to walk with Jesus chronologically.

I couldn't wait to get up at dawn this morning and read about His resurrection. It is going to be a blessed day.

(I also read two other books along with this, and the reviews for them will be coming soon!)

12. Ross Poldark by Winston Graham

I have been asked over the years what my favorite Masterpiece Theatre series is, and I have always said POLDARK! My husband and I have been fans of Poldark since the early 90's when we watched the 70's version on VHS. We have watched it more than once, and we love Robin Ellis as Ross:



Then came the equally wonderful NEW Poldark series! I like both actors as Ross and both series are equally amazing. Aiden Turner is a mesmerizing Ross:

And I love that Robin Ellis is also in the NEW Poldark! How cool is that?

So, I was curious to know what the Poldark books were like. My husband had read this first one many years ago, and when the new series came out he commented that the new one is much closer to the books, and I have to agree. As I have read up on things, Winston Graham was disappointed at how they changed things in the 70's version, but I think he would definitely like this new version.

I just have to say that if you love the TV series, and you love to read great literature, you will love this book. I thought his writing was SUPERB, and it really is the best I fiction I have read in a while. He paints such vivid pictures and has wonderful character development. I love knowing the thoughts of the characters; something you cannot always surmised from watching it being acted.

So, TWO THUMBS up for this book. My husband went and got the next one (Demelza) from the library when I was on my last hour of listening to the audiobook version of this book (helps that I have a terrible cold and canceled all my plans for today).

By the way, the narrator, Oliver Hembrough, is absolutely wonderful. He does the Cornish accent to perfection. He also does men and women distinctly.

There are 12 books in the series, and I have a feeling this will be my summer series like Narnia was last summer.

Then we will have to go back to England and go to Cornwall! :)

Prayerful Review of the Week: April 2-11

What made me feel most alive and in tune with God's plan:

• Starting another term of teaching Pilates I and II - I was born to teach movements and health. I love young people. I love empowering them to develop lifelong habits that will prevent physical pain when they get to be my age. Desiring to be salt and light
• Kingdom Disciplemaking Team (DMT) - leading a discussion of Spiritual Multiplication in the Real World and having the light bulbs go on and people feeling a gentle nudge from God to grow in this area. His kindness leads us to respond in action. So sweet.
• Riding my bike to and from work.
• Fourteen years of volunteering on Wednesday and going to the appreciation banquet on Friday.
• Having it work out the I could deliver all the books to our Kingdom DMT because one of my volunteer book deliveries was right across the street from Rebekah's!
• Listening to J & M's heart after a return from overseas.
• Seeing EIGHT rainbows on the way from J & M's and claiming them as promises for them.
• Going to MAZZI's after J & M's with my sweetheart!
• Deciding to have our taxes done by a professional and finding out we get a federal refund! (and only a bit of Oregon Tax if we contribute to the Oregon College Savings Program)
• Kingdom DMT on April 11 had us Skyping with a graduate of the kingdom team who was in North Africa. His update and prayer for this wonderful area were so wonderful. I LOVE praying with this team of women!

What made me feel most dead and not in tune with God's plan:

• Nothing comes to mind from the day

11. Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania

One word: WOW! This is my favorite book of the year. It is carefully researched and made so personal by the stories of the people involved from Woodrow Wilson's heart-broken over his wife's death to Charles Emelius Lauriat, Jr. who was crossing the Atlantic with a Charles Dickens's personal copy of A Christmas Carol.(I won't tell you what happens to the copy, but that is why I couldn't put it down. I had to know!) The book kept my attention the whole time with no "dead spots" in Dead Wake. I highly recommend this book, but it may convince you to never take an ocean voyage! 

Bible Book Club: April in Leviticus/Numbers

Bible Book Club: April in Leviticus/Numbers: APRIL 1.        Leviticus 23&24 2.       Leviticus 25 3.       Leviticus 26&27 4.       Leviticus 26&27 5.       ...

10. The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman

I thought this was a fiction book, but it was actually a true account the zookeeper of the Warsaw Zoo who sheltered Jews during World War II. What bravery! I applaud them. I think there could have been nips and tucks in the story to keep it moving, but overall, I was enriched by reading this book. I just prayed for Poland today on prayercast.com. So it was nice to have Warsaw so vividly described by the author. Any stories that continue to remind us of the atrocities during World War II are valuable for future generations.

9. The Greatest Thing in the World by Henry Drummond

I found this in a "Files" app on my iPhone. I have no idea where I got it from. It was lovely for a walk to the gym and workout in the morning. I actually own this little book.

Update: I found that I had downloaded it from Learnoutloud.com as their free book of the month in February 2012, but I have no idea how it got in a "files" app instead of in my iTunes. I had even already listened to it and wrote a review. So, I had read it before! Call it a "Post Menopause Moment"!

Here is my previous detailed review:
http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2012/12/52-in-52-week-52-greatest-thing-in-world.html

It is an analysis of 1 Corinthians 13.

Please Sign the Raymond Koh Abducted Pastor Petition

We went to this wonderful Pastor's church when we lived in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in the late 90's. He is a gentle man who was just helping the poor. Some people did not like him doing that and have threatened his life over the past 13 years. They finally took action and abducted him on February 13. PLEASE SIGN THIS! There is also a White House Petition that I will post soon. Let's get him home to his family!

8. Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly

What a great story! I am finishing it about 15 minutes before I am going off to see the movie. My girlfriend and I have been trying to go together for about six weeks, but I am so glad we did not go because I was waiting for it from the library and got it in time to read it before I went.

The narrator is very good in this. I enjoyed the history so much!

7. The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard

According to my records, I have read this five times since 2009. It took me four months to read it the first time. Now, I seem to fly through it.

It is interesting to read what I wrote about this book while reviewing Summa Theologica in 2012:

"I am not big on theology. As I told my friends who were gathered around a picnic table hotly debating theology one summer afternoon in 2001, "I just don't 'think' about God." This was followed by uproarious laughter because they all knew I had been studying and leading Bible studies  for over 30 years (www.3yearbiblebookclub.blogspot.com). I don't think about God just as I don't "think" about my husband, I LOVE him. I ADORE him. I want to KNOW him. I don't want to THINK ABOUT him!  So that is where I get hung up on theology.

BUT I believe this is how some people's brains work. So, I have slowly and painfully tried to read theology in order to become "all things to all men." I like Piper and Tozer, but they make it so practical. I still struggle with Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy because it is too philosophical and just not practical. But others gobble it up. Therefore, I muddled my way through it, twice. (Part of my reason for not thinking that book is too earth-shattering is that I say, "Duh, isn't this how all believers should live? Isn't it obvious? Don't people already know this stuff about the Kingdom of God?" But apparently not for those raised in a traditional church culture. I was nurtured in the Navigators which was radically different and more like what Willard describes. The Navigators were more practical than Willard though. I do like Willard's Spirit of the Disciplines though. But I digress. . .)" 

After reading this quote, I feel like Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice (1995 mini-series version) in this memorable scene with Mr. Darcy:

Darcy: "You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April (when she hatefully rejected his marriage proposal), tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever."

Elizabeth: "Oh my feelings. My feelings - I'm ashamed to remember what I said then. My feelings are so different. In fact, they are quite the opposite."

So this is sort of how I feel about this book. I sort of grows on you or maybe I have grown. I have an easier time reading this (which on reflecting on my previous quote above is really not "theology" at all). Maybe my head is bigger because C.S. Lewis is also easier for me to read these days too.

It wasn't that I didn't "get" what he was trying to say, but it seemed too long-winded and I figured everyone believed this, and it was obvious. Now I see that this is not the case, and it is why I like it so much now.

 I was so surprised to see every person in this year's kingdom community EAT IT UP with their first try. They all bought their own copies! So, that was nice.

So, I recommend you read it. It will be good for your soul.

Here are my previous reviews with quotes:

2014: The ultimate goal of this book is that you will “join God in a divine conspiracy to advance the invisible kingdom of God here on earth,” and you do that by “choosing to be an apprentice to Jesus, who stands at the center of everything – having died on a cross ‘to undermine the structures of evil’” (Study Guide, p. 5, DC, p. 188).

Willard writes:

Whatever the ultimate explanation of it, the most telling thing about the contemporary Christian is that he or she simply has no compelling sense that understanding of and conformity with the clear teachings of Christ is of any vital importance to his or her life, and certainly not that it is in any way essential. … More than any other single thing, in any case, the practical irrelevance of actual obedience to Christ accounts for the weakened effect of Christianity in the world today. . . . It also accounts for the practical irrelevance of Christian faith to individual character development and overall personal sanity and well-being. (introduction, p. xv)

This book . . . 

. . . presents discipleship to Jesus as the very heart of the gospel. The really good news for humanity is that Jesus is now taking students in the master class of life. The eternal life that begins with confidence in Jesus is a life in this present kingdom, now on earth and available to all. So the message of and about him is specifically a gospel for our life now, not just for dying. It is about living now as his apprentice in kingdom living, not just as a consumer of his merits.

2013 Review (I mention that this is my third time, and that is when the book clicked for me): http://carolhomeschool2.blogspot.com/2013/12/64-divine-conspiracy-rediscovering-our.html

What I REALLY like are his two others book: The Spirit of the Disciplines and Hearing God. I also love his DVD series with John Ortberg: Living in Christ's Presence. Actually the DVD series is my favorite of all!